


Is This What Love Feels Like

by Christian_Richtown, This_Solaris_Life



Series: The Zhao Collection [25]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Concubines, Developing Relationship, Different use of QI, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Bonding, Happy Ending, Kissing, M/M, Mafia/Triad, Married Life, Murder, Romance, Set in MDZ Universe, Violence, Wedding, tw: mentions of attempted suicide, tw: mentions of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 89,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28582062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_Richtown/pseuds/Christian_Richtown, https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_Solaris_Life/pseuds/This_Solaris_Life
Summary: Zhao Haoran never thought that he'd be the one to accept his father's lordship. But he is not that his Eldest brother suddenly dies and his other older brother gives up his claim. Upon accepting the lordship he marries his brothers, concubine, Lei Yu to save him from the woman who plots to get rid of Zhao Haoran and Lei Yu. Will there be love that blooms or will it all fall apart?
Relationships: Zhao Haoran/Lei Yu
Series: The Zhao Collection [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943596





	1. Chapter 1

"I know, I know." Zhao Haoran chuckled to himself as he finished tying the sash of his robes. He'd chosen his training robes to wear with the dark teal trousers, white muslin inner robe, deep burgundy silk first layer, matching dark teal outer robe and a well worn leather belt over a burgundy sash. This morning he was supposed to be meeting his mother for breakfast. He just doubted he'd be late but he hated to keep her waiting. Not that she'd mind if he was late. 

"Alright, Kuai, I'll be back." Zhao Haoran said to his dark brown chongqing that was bumping his hip. He reached down scratching the dog’s head which the dog gave a happy whine as it wiggled. "You stay here." He instructed knowing that it would be best for now. While his mother approved of him, Kuai didn't always react well to his sparring partners during training. So, if he did stop to demonstrate with one of the teachers then they didn't need another biting incident. "I'll bring you back something tasty." Kuai barked happily at the mention of a treat.

At that, Zhao Haoran left his jingshi to go to have breakfast in his mother's. He'd no sooner gotten around the corner that he bumped into his friend Zhao Tai Sun. The man was a few inches shorter than him and the youngest of his group of friends. He chuckled and caught the man before he toppled to the ground. The man's hair was brown, long, and wavy with a ribbon pulling half back. He was dressed in his simple black robes with the burgundy and navy scaled snakes along the sleeve hems. 

"What are you doing here?"Zhao Haoran asked, curious. He was sure that his friend had told him that he was showing the children how to bake today.

"Oh thanks, Ran-ge." Zhao Tai Sun grinned, sheepishly. "I was sent here to give you this by Di-jie. She said it was important. It'd come from Lord Shen's Manor." 

Zhao Haoran blinked then accepted the letter that Zhao Tai Sun had held out. He flipped it over to see that sure enough it was the Shen motif of three ocean waves stamped into the wax seal. He broke it after taking a deep breath. The last time he'd gotten a letter like this was from his eldest half brother, Shen Guanyu coldy informing him that their father had passed and that he would be taking over the family as was his birthright. Which of course, Zhao Haoran had no desire to take from the man. When his beautiful mother left Shen Manor she returned to her family to give hima good life and he loved it here. He'd gotten an education and hoped to be a teacher. 

All those thoughts were pushed away as he read the letter informing him that his eldest brother had passed away. That he was to come to Shen Manor to begin the process of accepting the inheritance and lordship of Shen Guanyu. He'd been named the man's heir due to not having any sons of his own. Which couldn't be true? Hadn't the man had lovers? Wasn't his other brother the heir? Why wasn't he?

"This can't be true, A-Sun." Zhao Haoran stuttered, peering at his friend. Zhao Tao Sun moved around to lean in to read the letter. 

"It says I'm the heir of my brother's estate?" Zhao Haoran said in confusion then shook his head. "No, it's not right. I need to see Ying-ge." He paused, then gripped his friend's shoulder. "Apologize and let my mama know that I have gone to see my brother. Give her this.” He handed the man the letter. 

“Of course.” Zhao Tai Sun nodded, taking the opened letter back. 

Zhao Haoran didn’t stay to see if the other went. He just trusted the man as he instead he went ahead for the market where his brother’s shop was. The man’s shop would be open already. He just hoped that this was all a joke. While he hadn’t been close to his eldest brother, he knew that his other brother had a somewhat better relationship with him.

The teashop was quiet and fragrant when Zhao Haoran walked through. Shen Guanying was behind the counter scribbling in his inventory. Hearing footsteps, he looked up with his usual welcome on his lips, but it died seeing his younger brother there. His smile slowly faded seeing the look on Zhao Haoran’s face.

“Ran-di?” he asked, careful but still urgent, his protective older brother instincts kicking in. “What’s happened?”

“Did you uh, know that...about Yu-ge passing?” Zhao Haoran winced, knowing that he wasn’t good at this. Death was natural and talked about like the weather at his home. He rubbed his hair messing with his fringe a bit. Zhao Haoran sniffed the air. “Is that orange mint?” Orange mint wasn’t as beloved as raspberry or lemon and the person he knew that liked orange tea is…

Madam Fei stepped into the room from the back with a basket of what smelled like fresh blueberry lemon bread and a bouquet of flowers in hand. She wasn’t in her normal big sleeved silk shan, she was in a form fitting soft peachy and cream muslin beizi. Her hair was up in a simple but elegant bun with a simple wooden hair pin. 

“Hello, Fei- _ jie _ .” Zhao Haoran said, blinking in confusion why she wasn’t wearing her mourning robes. How long had his brother been gone or was this a hoax?

“Ran-di,” she said with a gentle smile, though there was a sadness in her face from his earlier words.

“The funeral was yesterday,” Shen Guanying told him, and when he stood to go to his brother, his sash was white. “He was killed in an accident when a cart fell off its parking supports and crushed him,” he said, though the response seemed flat on his mouth. He offered Zhao Haoran a little smile as he gently gripped his shoulder. “I thought you’d heard.”

“No, I just got a letter from Madam Shu that was witnessed by Lawyer Hu. It said that I needed to go to the manor and accept my inheritance. What inheritance? Shouldn’t you and A-Nuan be accepting that?” Zhao Haoran asked, even more confused and a little hurt that he’d not even been allowed to go to the funeral. He was in fact the man’s brother despite not being as close to him as Shen Guanyin. 

Madam Fei and Shen Guanying shared a long look with each other before the woman quietly excused herself. Shen Guanying gestured for his brother to sit down at one of his low tables, then moved to grab a pot of tea.

“Ran-di,” he started once he’d sat and poured them both a cup, “I am going to start this by saying I’m sorry you weren’t told. If I’d known that, I’d have reached out to you sooner. I’m also going to say that I fully believe Yu- _ ge  _ was murdered, but I have no proof of that, so take that as you will.”

He took a long sip of his tea to brace himself, then met Zhao Haoran’s gaze squarely. “Mother is grabbing for control of the estate. Again,” he murmured, shaking his head tiredly. He was a naturally upbeat person, but his mother always found a way to suck all the air out of his sails. “I got a letter too, but when I talked to her about it, she had me sign  _ away  _ my rights to inherit. She did the same to Fei Yan and Nuan-er. I know for a fact she has every intention of convincing you not to inherit either.”

The hair on Zhao Haoran’s neck stood up, not that it could be seen as a cold shiver ran over him. If his older brother thought that their eldest brother was murdered then there had to be some truth to it. And despite the rough man his brother had been, he did deserve justice. Pushing those thoughts away he thought about the remaining family his brother had before passing. “You just said Yan-jie and A-Nuan.” Zhao Haoran frowned, “What about his concubine? Is he still there with their daughter?” He’d never met his brother’s concubine for he hadn’t been permitted to be seen by the public at any events. His own memories of stories from his mother only made him even more cautious. 

“Lei Yu is still there,” Shen Guanying confirmed, frowning. “I assume he also had to forfeit right of inheritance, though I honestly don’t know if Yu- _ ge  _ left him anything. But Mother likes Lei Yu for some reason, so I also assume she’s keeping him.”

He made a face, thinking of the rumors he’d heard about his mother and the beautiful concubine. There wasn’t much proof, since Shen Guanyu had more or less left Lei Yu and little Lei Xiulan to the mercy of the household after only a few months of inducting Lei Yu in as his concubine. Lei Yu didn’t show himself often, even when it was just Shen Guanying visiting, so it was hard to gauge what could be rumor and what could be fact. “I know Xiu-er is being tutored by Teacher Wu on Lei Yu’s own allowance. Mother tolerates Xiu-er well enough, so I guess they’re both just staying? Lei Yu hasn’t reached out to me for assistance.”

“He probably either can’t or is able to tolerate her enough so that they aren’t pitched out.” Zhao Haoran responded, understanding the situation of Lei Yu. He swallowed and took a sip of his tea. 

Shen Guanying made another face again. “Yes, well, Yu- _ ge  _ believed Mother took Lei Yu as her own lover. Whether that is true or not, there’s nothing we can do. Unless Lei Yu asks for help, we have to just let him do what he thinks is best.”

He shuddered at the very idea, but in a way it made sense. Lei Yu was a beauty, through and through. Even sad and withdrawn, he was the kind of beautiful that would make an artist cry. His mother was a megalomaniac, he was sure, and would absolutely want a beautiful man telling her everyday how much he worshipped her. He felt like gagging. “But that’s just speculation. Not even Yu- _ ge  _ knew for sure. All i know is that Yu- _ ge  _ was planning to kick  _ her  _ out of the estate and suddenly he’s dead. Now Mother is going down the line of inheritance and forcing us to bend to her will. Honestly? I say let her have it. If she wants it so bad, it’s not worth more people being killed. At the end of the day, I know what is important to me and I have them here with me now. And I didn’t need a fortune to get them either.”

“No you didn’t. You just earned one.” Zhao Haoran responded after shivering at the thought of Lei Yu being 

Madam Shu’s lover. That woman didn’t deserve to be worshipped at all. He’d heard from his mother the things that she would do to them when Zhao Dandan was with his father. Zhao Haoran took a deep breath and took another sip of tea. He took a moment to just consider what he would choose about taking the inheritance. Sure it would be easy to say no but there were reasons to say yes. Master Zhao was looking for a way into the water front. This would be a good idea and also it would be good for Lei Yu. Instead of using that allowance on his daughter's education he could ensure the man had a separate account for it. His adoptive niece deserved a good life and he could help with that. A confident smile spread across his face as he thought more on it. He would bring his family and friends in then put Madam Fei where she belonged which was away from others.

“That smile on your face is worrying me,” Shen Guanying said, sighing at his brother. They’d grown up side by side and though they’d spent a good few years separate, some of those age-old, childhood habits remained. The fact Zhao Haoran was smiling like a fox and obviously plotting still made a bubble of mischief rise up in Shen Guanying’s own heart. “What are you plotting? Don’t tell me you’re actually going to fight her on this?”

“What’s there to fight? My er-ge has declined and I think that I can do some good with the legacy our father left us.” Zhao Haoran answered, taking another sip and pouted when his cup was out. “I can understand why she likes this so much. It’s really good.”

“Right?” Shen Guanying said with a fond look at his brother as he poured him another. “And that’s bullshit,  _ didi.  _ You don’t care about that house. What sort of heroics are you going to attempt this time?”

“First Business and the good part of that business is that it can help Lei Yu not have to be dependent on Madam Shu. Then I will consider it a good plan.” Zhao Haoran answered, preening at the newly filled cup. He hummed before taking another sip. 

Shen Guanying smiled at that, thinking of a time when they were rambunctious boys and Zhao Haoran had tried to bring a snake home. He’d been convinced that it was lost and needed a family, never mind that the creature was trying to bite him the whole time.

Not to say Lei Yu was a snake, but regardless. There was a very clear problem. “Just taking over the house wont safeguard him, especially during transition from her in the power seat to you,” he pointed out. “She has him under her thumb, especially if they’re lovers. Kick her out and she’ll force him to go with her, probably by endangering Xiu-er to do it. I know you mean well, but don’t let your heart get in front of your head. The only way to protect him and Xiu-er would be to marry him immediately or take him as  _ your  _ concubine. Otherwise, all she has to do is bide her time and get her claws into him again. And I know for a fact you haven’t even met him.”

“I wouldn’t jeopardize his position by leaving him the rank that he’d been given with Yu-ge.” Zhao Haoran stated, firmly. “I understand his situation and I won’t take advantage of him. Besides all the doors that’d been open for her as the leader over the family with Yu-ge will close as I take over. My mother’s family influence will help me in ways fuqin’s never did Yu-ge.”

“You’re still saying you’ll marry a man you’ve never met,” Shen Guanying pointed out, though he was chuckling and smiling. “Because of course you are. You are my Ran- _ di,  _ and you never do anything halfway.”

He lifted his tea cup to clink it to Zhao  _ ‘x  _ Haoran’s. “I’ll support you the best I can. If you need anything, just say so. I’ll see what I can do, okay?”

“Of course and I already know something you can do. SInce you know him a little better or can at least get the information.” Zhao Haoran smiled, a twinkle in his eyes. He trusted his brother to support him and he would support Shen Guanying in his own happiness.

“More mischief, hm?” Shen Guanying laughed at his look. “Name it. What do you need?”

“More like a gift. Might seem mischievous at first to Lei Yu. Can you help me send a letter and care package to him and his little one?” Zhao Haoran asked, looking hopeful that his brother wouldn’t say no.

“Well, Xiu- _ er  _ is just five, so she likes toys. The last time I actually got to talk to Lei Yu, Teacher Wu had let her play with a puzzle and she was wild about it,” he said, chuckling in remembrance. Lei Yu had looked so tired and withdrawn, but he’d smiled as he relayed the news. Then little Lei Xiulan had overheard him saying  _ puzzle  _ and had wanted to immediately play. “There’s a carpenter shop just a block from here that makes small animal puzzles. She’d love one of those. She also has a sincere love of fish and birds, if you wanted to get her a soft toy.”

“Thank you. I appreciate the advice.” Zhao Haoran responded, then thought about the time. He stood up and bowed to his brother. “I’ll be back to let you know how the dinner went.” 

“You may want to consider taking a lawyer with you when you go see her,” Shen Guanying said as he got up as well, though bypassed the bowing to go for a hug. “Be careful. She’s not going to go down without a fight and I don’t want to bury a brother again.”

“I’ll be taking A-Di too.” Zhao Haoran grinned, knowing that his best friend and right hand would be right there with him. She wouldn’t let Madam Shu take advantage of them. “So that’s going to be fun.”

“I expect full details when you come back,” Shen Guanying laughed and pulled playfully on his brother’s bangs. “I’ll get something together for you to send as well, but I  _ still  _ want the blow-by-blow of the whole evening as payment.”

“Alright, thank you brother.” Zhao Haoran said, pulling the other man’s ponytail before leaving. A childish thing to do but he laughed as he went through the door to get what he needed for the care package and to get ready for dinner tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zhao Haoran takes over Shen Manor.

“What do you think, my lotus?” Madam Shu called from her vanity mirror, where she was swaying between two rather lovely hanfu choices. “The blue or the green?”

Lei Yu carefully sat up from the bed, every inch of him sore, and rubbed his bruised wrists from where she’d tied him.  _ White,  _ he wanted to bite at her, because her son had been dead a  _ week  _ by the gods, but instead he pretended to give it considerate thought. “Green, my lady,” he said, wincing at how hoarse his voice was. She’d had him pinned in this room practically from the moment the funeral was over and his mouth was dry from all the hard breathing and moaning she demanded of him. His jaw felt like it was about to break off his face and he inwardly snorted. Wouldn't that be a sight?

“An excellent taste as always,” she tittered, smiling smugly at herself in the mirror. Nevermind that he thought she looked pasty as hell in green. It clashed with her light eyes, but he wasn’t about to tell her that.

He forced himself to the edge of the bed, his ankles raw and his hips screaming with each movement. He was covered in bruises and bites and smears of lip paint, which he knew she wouldn’t let him wipe clean. “What shall I wear for you upon your return?” he asked, resigned to yet another night here in this dungeon of a room, but to his surprise she waved him over instead of answering, which either meant he was finally being dismissed, or…

“You will wear this,” she said, pulling out a matching green outfit. It’d been one of her late husband’s and looked slightly big, but he could make it work, even if he was mildly intimidated to put it on. He’d never seen such expensive trimmings. “And be my escort to dinner. My husband’s  _ spawn  _ will be joining us.”

Lei Yu winced inside, but was perfectly stone as he dressed. He knew all too well Madam Shu’s distaste for the Zhao son, and had been complaining about having to meet with him since Shen Guanyu had been found dead in the street. Shen Guanying had folded to her whims as she’d known he would, as had Madam Fei and her daughter. But Zhao Haoran was a wild card. He hadn’t been raised in the main family home, but a small wing of it, and Madam Shu had distanced herself from him as much as possible. She seemed confident enough that she could still get the young man to fold too, but there was still a chance Zhao Haoran was an idiot and would fight her for the house.

Lei Yu desperately hoped the man wasn’t an idiot. Even if that meant being little more than a sex toy for the rest of his life, it would mean he wouldn’t have to say goodbye to people he cared for. Shen Guanyu hadn’t been a prince charming, but he had been kind and always there when Lei Yu had needed him. Now he was dead and Lei Yu was trapped here. When Zhao Haoran gave up his side of the inheritance, it would be Lei Yu’s turn to deny it for his daughter, if only so she wouldn’t be in danger.

Madam Shu had already made her intentions clear to him the night before. She intended to take him as her own in any legal way necessary once her mourning period was up, binding him to her forever. Lei Yu felt that sentence over his head like a blade just waiting to swing down. But he’d play along. He had to for Lei Xiulan’s sake.

His daughter gave him reserves of strength that surprised even him, sometimes.

“Am I presentable, my lady?” he asked once he’d tied the sash and moved to grab a brush from the vanity. She smacked his hand away lightly to do it herself and combed his long hair with a hum of satisfaction. It was past his hips, too long to brush and adorn while sitting, so he stayed perfectly still as she pulled and prodded at him, fussing him into whatever she wanted him to be. There was no point looking at it in the mirror. He hadn’t been able to meet his own eye the last three years.

“You are now,” Madam Shu said, pulling the top portion of his hair into a braided knot. She secured it with a hairpin that had a very long tassel on the end that matched the green of his robes. She wrinkled her nose at the white band he tied to his sash, but ultimately said nothing before a servant peeked in to inform her that Zhao Haoran was at the front gate.

“The vermin,” she seethed, flicking her wrist in dismissal. The boy hardly waited for it, already running off in fear of being struck. “Well then, let’s go see what the rat has to say.”

Lei Yu obediently lifted his arm for her to take and fell into his usual pristine, icy exterior that she liked. It was armor now, and weakening at that, but he forced himself through his aching body and the feeling of being a used  _ thing  _ to walk her elegantly down to the main hall to greet her guest.

In the main hall while they were waiting for Madam Shu, Lei Yu, and Lawyer Qin to arrive. Zhao Haoran had made sure that he was presentable especially for Lei Yu. He’d worn his hair partially up with a braided bun while his bangs and a few strands flowed down. Zhao Haoran chose the robes that Zhao Tai Sun had given him for his birthday. His inner robe was deep burgundy chiffon with a lighter pleated teal silk robe. The lapels had two burgundy beaded hand stitched snakes that have a coiled double infinity body. His outer robe was that same burgundy with a teal sash under his leather belt with ringlets that he’d tied a while silk ribbon onto. He was peering down at his leather bracers over the tapered sleeves. 

“You look handsome. Don’t worry so much.” Zhao Ju Di stated from behind. She was in robes similar to his but were completely black along with the family lawyer, Hu Nan’Feng. They too had the white silk strips on their sashs showing their support in this time of mourning.

“I don’t want to disrespect my future husband is all during our first meeting.” Zhao Haoran retorted, getting ready to elbow his friend when the doors creaked open and whatever he was thinking faded. It wasn’t the pasty Madam Shu that caught his attention but Lei Yu. He looked regal but in the sickly way his father had at the end. It wasn’t missed that the robes on the man’s body were his father’s. The inner robe was white gauzy silk with a pristine white first layer. His second layer is a pale green silk that trailed behind him along with the oversized shan with a small tulip brocade instead of the sash being inside the green sash was outside with a white silk strip of white sticking out. They also didn’t fit him as well as his father either. The man was too thin for his height. Though the thoughts faded as Lei Yu realized he was being looked at and peered across the way at him. Those dark chocolate eyes were beautiful but he could see the emptiness there the way some of his brothers and sisters arrived at the estate. 

“Madam Shu, Master Lei.’ Zhao Haoran greeted them with a head nod. He was of a higher social rank than them despite not even having the lord title yet. His mother’s family offered him that benefit. He glanced at Lei Yu’s side to find that his daughter wasn’t there. Hopefully, she was having dinner in her rooms. Zhao Haoran remembered his mother telling him how Madam Shu would try to not allow her to eat as a punishment.

Lei Yu nodded his head in respect as Madam Shu went through the usual overly polite greetings. He found himself curiously looking over Zhao Haoran and wondering why something about his sweet face was familiar. For some reason, he felt drawn to look down at himself and made sure his sleeves were thoroughly hiding his bruised wrists before he looked back up. Zhao Haoran was looking at him again and he stared implacably back, something in his mind itching.

It wasn’t until he saw Madam Shu’s twisted smile that it really clicked. There was a painted portrait of the late Lord Shen hanging in the portrait gallery, where many other paintings were displayed. He realized that Zhao Haoran looked familiar because he looked very similar to what his father had looked like in his youth, which was when the portrait had been commissioned. They even had the same blue-gray eyes.

He was pulled from his musings by Madam Shu’s nails digging into his arm, a sign to stop looking at the Zhao brat and focus on doting on her. He wouldn’t be expected to speak, so paid careful attention to where his eyes rested as he led her towards the dining hall with all their guests in tow.

It was both a blessing and a curse that his daughter was not at the table. With Zhao Haoran here with all his people, as well as Lawyer Qin, there was no room for her to be in the usual place beside him. But while it meant a very long dinner without her happiness to get him through, it also meant she was perfectly safe from whatever came about of this conversation. If Zhao Haoran was, in fact, an idiot and decided to take the estate, Madam Shu would be looking for a target for her anger and Lei Yu knew it had to be him and no one else.

He helped her kneel at the head of the long table before taking his own place to her left. That put Zhao Haoran at her immediate right and directly across from him. He kept his gaze lowered to the table and focused on serving Madam Shu her tea, but he felt his neck prickle, more than aware of how the other was watching him.

“Thank you, Madam Shu, for letting me know about the passing of our beloved brother and we are saddened that we have to have this conversation. But we are.” Zhao Haoran began not wanting to waste more time on useless pleasantries and it also helped him to stop staring after Zhao Ju Di pinched him as she handed him the papers that Lawyer Hu took out of his stack that’d been in his hands.

“Of course,” Madam Shu said, even though she’d barely done anything on that front. Lei Yu knew Zhao Haoran hadn’t gotten along with Shen Guanyu, but he’d also missed out on the funeral because of Madam Shu. If she’d had her way, she wouldn’t have told him at all. “His passing has been hard on all of us. An estate such as this, such a burden.”

Lei Yu very carefully didn’t snort into his cup of tea, but it was close, and nodded to the servant that brought him a bowl of congee. There was rice, dumplings, and a full selection of meats, fruits, and vegetables for everyone else, but she liked him to be thin, so congee it was. At least this one had the dotting of spice in it. He went for his spoon.

“That has been brought to my intention as well based on Lawyer Qin’s impeccable notes about the accounts. I am here to discuss the already approved conditions of the acceptance of inheritance between Lawyer Qin on behalf of the Shen family to me, Zhao Haoran for Shen Manor, TingDan Shipment and Storage, and DanDan House in Yunmeng.” Zhao Haoran stated, “I am proud to say that despite the timing of what has occurred with the passing of Shen Guanyu that I have accepted the terms lined out. Which begins with the marriage between I and Master Lei in the beginning of next week. This is to honour his noble person’s remaining private mourning. I agreed to the terms of the dowery. An account has been placed solely in Lei Xiulan’s name that will be available at the time that she comes of age and needs it or chooses to use it for her own marriage.“ 

He paused for just a moment, having said the first part from memory. “During the length of our marriage there will be a monthly stipend put into Master Lei Yu’s new private personal account of three thousand ingots per quarter and two thousand if we should divorce. This wouldn’t interfere with Miss Lei Xiulan’s account which would only end upon request.” He lifted a hand and Lawyer Hu gave Zhao Ju Di to give to Lei Yu.

Madam Shu was white with rage and Lei Yu couldn’t bring himself to take the paper. What would it serve, anyway? From one master to another, without his consent. His mind whirled, trying to understand how or why Zhao Haoran could do this and want him when they’d never met before. But then Madam Shu’s hand found his leg under the table to dig in her claws and he realized it didn’t matter. His daughter did, and this man was going out of his way to safeguard her. 

So he just nodded once in agreement, indicating that he would accept the terms without reading them. He felt too dizzy to read anyway. Her nails dug into him so much he winced, feeling the skin pull and threaten to break.

“This is a joke,” she said, glaring down both lawyers and Zhaos. “You have no need for this estate. If you wanted the damn shipment area reopened to you, I would have granted that without all this farceity.”

It wasn’t a good sign, the sharpness in her eyes. She knew she’d lost this round, but legally she couldn’t do anything. And that meant a punishment would come, and soon. Lei Yu wouldn’t be seeing his daughter tonight.

“I assure you that this isn’t a joke, and it would be in your best interest not to start our new life as a family with a lie. Just like you’re going to get your hand off my fiance's leg.” Zhao Haoran started, sharply. Those blue-grey eyes narrowed at her, showing no fear. He wasn’t scared of her or what she could do. “Per the agreement he is to finish the grieving process and also begin the preparation of private quarters. Master Lei, Zhao Aang and Zhao Xin, “ he paused, gesturing to the two very different women who’d silently entered the room. They remained by the door and bowed to Lei Yu. “will be remaining here with you to aid you. It was brought to my attention by Lawyer Qin that despite your station you don't have handmaidens or servants of your own. This is being corrected immediately.” 

At that Zhao Xin approached first with her black hair pulled back in a severe bun showing off the sharpness of her jaw and dark eyes that looked almost black. She was dressed in black Zhao guard robes. The next that followed was Zhao Aang with her flowy hanfu black robes. Her black hair was in an intricate multi braided ponytail. Her hazel eyes smiling without a smile on her lips. The both of them moved to stand behind Lei Yu. 

“Also, do not feel rushed upon arranging our quarters. At this moment all I need is our mutual agreement of what we want then we can physically rearrange this household before we are married.” 

It was insidious and laughable what the man was saying. To downright buy Lei Yu and force him under guard, then talk about choices? Wants? Once more he wanted to snort, but refrained. He nodded again to show he wasn’t going to fight and after one last vicious squeeze to his leg, Madam Shu stood, glaring hatefully at all of them.

“Then, as the owner of this house, you can show yourself out,” she sneered, too angry to care about proper decorum, and in a flash of her dress, went storming out. She slammed the door behind her and Lei Yu flinched, a very real fear gripping his heart and breaking through his icy facade.

Not caring about his audience, he got up too, hurrying to the servant’s door. He knew what that rage could do and he started to shake all over. “Bring my daughter to me, immediately,” he commanded, his voice quivering with panic. “Tell her to pack a bag and her toys. Do not let her come alone. If you see Madam Shu coming, take another route.”

The young woman hurriedly bowed and moved off, which was some relief, but in all honesty he felt tight as a drum, coiled and ready to break open. He felt angry too, that this man was actually so stupid as to go against Madam Shu, who not only had his daughter’s life in her hands, but the lives of everyone in the house.

He felt departed from himself as he turned, glaring ice cold at the man that had bought him. For all his handsomeness and good intentions, he was still a fool, and now he was to marry him. “You shouldn’t play so loosely with people’s lives, Master Zhao,” he said, cooly, and didn’t care what this would mean for him. The papers were there and he stalked over to sign them so at least his daughter would be safe. “If she harms one hair on my daughter’s head, I swear to you, Zhao or not, an army at your back, even the gods on your side… no one will stop me from killing you.”

And with that, he turned heel, fear making his feet quick and his anger like a cold snake under his skin. Hearing someone come rushing with his daughter almost made it easy to forget the two guards following, or the fact that the woman escorting Lei Xiulan wasn’t the maid, but yet another Zhao. None of that mattered once his little girl was in his arms. He held her close and ignored her worried pats, especially when the tears came. As with many things, he bit his lip and said nothing, and retreated towards the safety of his rooms where he could watch over his daughter and pretend his life was actually his own.

“Ba _ ba,”  _ Lei Xiulan shook his cheeks a bit and finally he slowed down. “Baba, lookit pretty!”

She was very emphatic that he paid attention to the Zhao woman that had brought her. Lei Yu felt gutted, but he looked over the dark clothing and wondered what his daughter saw that he didn’t. “Yes, very pretty.”

“She played fishes,” Lei Xiulan said, and indeed her prized wooden goldfish toy was in hand. She tried to wipe his eye with it. “Is Baba sad?”

“Baba will be fine,” he promised, because he had to be. “Baba was just scared. Someone made Madam Shu very angry and I was scared for you.”

“Xiu-xiu is fine,” she promised immediately, and it was very apparent to all the guards that this was sadly routine. “I didn’t see her. Came straight to baba.”

He kissed her little cheek in gratitude and toed open the door to the inner gardens. “Good girl.”

Zhao Haoran immediately felt bad for what happened, even though he’d made sure he had everything covered. He was grateful that Shen Guanying was polite enough to give him a layout of the house. Because the last time he’d been here, Madam Shu had rearranged the manor. He knew that it would go this way, so he’d formed a plan. Zhao Haoran would come in with Zhao Ju Di, then Zhao Aang and Zhao Xin would enter later with Zhao Mei going to Lei Xiulan’s room to protect her in case Madam Shu would lose all decorum and control. He turned his head as he watched Lei Yu step out into the garden. 

“Make sure to inform Madam Shu that as of now she has no control of anything anymore and give her the copy ment for her.” Zhao Haoran said to Lawyer Qin as nodded for Zhao Mei to follow the man out along with Zhao Xin and Zhao Aang. Then he took a piece of paper from Lawyer Hu as he looked up at Zhao Ju Di.

“Please, have Madam Shu returned to her quarters.” 

“Already on it.” Zhao Ju Di stated as she headed for the door.

  
  


Outside, Zhao Mei followed them out with a smile on her face. “I keep telling your young mistress that your beauty is beyond comparison to this one.” Zhao Mei chuckled as she approached them. Her long light brown hair was down and wavy. Unlike the other Zhao’s she wore black silk hanfu with shiny oil silk beaded snakes on her sash. Her dark eyes peering up at Lei Yu. “Master Lei, I promise that she never saw. I caught her the moment that she stepped into the young mistress’ foyer.”

Lei Yu breathed out a bit harshly, still coming down from his panic, but it was clear the woman was telling the truth. His daughter’s bright smile was proof enough of that. But instead of soothing him, it only made a stone form in his stomach. “...he was expecting this, wasn’t he?’ he said, wincing as his hip flared from stepping down a stone step in the garden. “All this time, he actually was three steps ahead… and I threatened him.”

“You did?” Zhao Mei brightened, reaching out to gently touch his arm in the barest fashion as if they were longtime friends. Her dark brown eyes twinkling. “Good, husbands should know their place. You’re our master now. We won’t let him bully you and yes, he did know this would happen. Prior to your consummation with Master Shen Guangyu his mother, Madam Zhao Dandan was the focus of her intrigue. Master Zhao refuses to allow her room to harm your person or the beautiful young Mistress Lei.”

The idea that his new…  _ husband  _ was going to bully him wasn’t reassuring. “I told him that he was an idiot for playing with people’s lives. I don’t think he fully understands how dangerous she really is, and how many people she’s hurt. When she rages like this, she takes it out one someone. I make sure that it is me so it’s not my daughter, or anyone else who is innocent. To be denied that scared me, so I told him that I would kill him if A-Xiu came to harm.”

He was still breathing unsteadily and his tears were starting to stick on his cheeks. Sensing his distress, Lie Xiulan kissed his cheek with her fish, which hurt a bit as she jammed him in the eye, but he said nothing, just glad that she was safe. “I meant it. He can buy me all he wants, use me, put me under guard. I don’t care. But if he hurts her, I will hunt him down in this life and the next. Just because he owns me doesn’t mean I will bend for everything.”

“As you should not Master Lei, and you are not a possession. As his husband you have the right to divorce should it please you.” Zhao Mei turned her smile on the girl and held out her arms to which the girl seemed pleased. “And do not fear him harming her. Everything he has done and will do is for yours and young Mistress Lei’s protection. I will be overseeing her safety as her guard. And do not worry about Madam Shu’s anger. She isn’t going to be doing much but getting rest.” Zhao Mei playfullly wrinkled her nose at Lei Xiulan. “Isn’t that right, young Mistress Lei? Madam Shu was sickly looking tonight. She should rest.”

“Rest forever,” Lei Xiulan said firmly to that, which was a bit mortifying.

“A-Xiu, that is not kind,” he reprimanded, though it was more gentle than anything.

“Sorry, baba, but she is nicer when she rests,” Lei Xiulan reasoned and looked up at Zhao Mei with big gray eyes. “She makes baba sad, but when she’s resting he’s not as sad.”

“Well she is going to be resting for several days in her rooms in the east wing.” Zhao Mei smiled, fondly at her. “Mei-jie promises.” 

To that, the little one thrust her hand out, nearly poking the woman with her outstretched pinkie. “Swears on the pinkie,” she said primly. “Baba says you can’t break those swears or you  _ die.” _

Zhao Mei grinned all teeth and lifted her pinkie to twine around Lei Xiulan’s. “ _ Or I’ll die _ .” She promised because it was the truth. While the dumb woman was currently unconcious due to a poison based from her sister’s snake that Lei Yu hadn’t noticed was on the woman’s neck right now. The venom would leave her in a paralyzed state for about five days. Though Zhao Mei wouldn’t take the chance. The moment she got back to the woman she’d pin her down with needles to where she couldn’t move unless they were removed. 

Satisfied, the girl hugged her arms around Lei Yu’s neck, sighing happily. “Baba? Can we play fishes in the bath?” she asked, her little wooden fish now bumping his ear. While Lei Yu’s rooms weren’t the fanciest, the bathroom was wide and open and sported a big tub that she adored playing in, given it was twice the size of her own bathing pool. She could fit more toys in it, which she did with great enthusiasm.

“Fishes and boats,” he promised, not looking forward to kneeling there while she played. His knees were still bruised and the rest of him aching, but it was an old pain, one he was far too used to. It was easy to push away, and he did so for her, a small smile on his face. “We still have to try out that new boat your Ying- _ shu  _ brought.”

She gasped, excited. “Yes! He said it could fit  _ all  _ my fishes on it!”

Lei Yu didn’t have the heart to tell her Shen Guanying had exaggerated a bit, but it was still bigger than her other boats, so he knew she’d be pleased, and made a beeline or his rooms. “Well, let’s go see.”

“I can start the bath for you and get our young Mistress ready if you like if you’d want to say goodby-...” Zhao Mei started but stopped as Zhao Ju Di approached them. Her golden brown eyes caught the evening light. 

“Master Lei, young Mistress Lei. This one is Zhao Ju Di.” Zhao Ju Di greeted them first, then turned to Zhao Mei to give her an acknowledging nod. She held out a letter that wasn’t sealed to him. “Our Master Zhao sends this to you and apologizes deeply but there are matters with Madam Zhao and Master Shen that he needed to attend to. I will be returning at first light to make sure to start my duties as your and Master Zhao’s superintendent. I apologize as well for not being prepared to stay this night. However, Zhao Mei, Zhao Xin, and Zhao Aang will be here. Zhao Tai Sun will come at the end of the week to be taking over as the house chef. He’s currently teaching this week and has prior commitments that are required for his training.”

“That’s fine,” Lei Yu managed, taking the note. He wasn’t sure what to say or how to fix what he had potentially ruined, so went with something polite. “I apologize as well for my harsh words and hope to see him soon. Thank you.”

Lei Xiulan patted his cheek, a welcome distraction, and her eyes were gleeful. “Baba, another pretty,” she said, gushing a bit at the woman.

“Yes, another pretty,” he said, agreeing out of instinct, and bowed his head in gratitude to Zhao Ju Di.

“No apologies necessary. Protecting young is a natural, instinctual right. It was our shortcoming to not inform you of our intentions.” Zhao Ju Di responded to him then turned her attention to Lei Xiulan. “You are far more beautiful than I am but I am honored you find me so.” She bowed to them then dismissed herself to go to Zhao Haoran. 

Lei Xiulan wiggled at the compliment, then peered curiously at the letter he was holding. He kissed her cheek and passed her off to Zhao Mei, since his daughter seemed to like the woman already. “Baba will be in soon to play,” he said and went to unroll the paper.

“Okay baba,” Lei Xiulan said, content because her father seemed calm, and showed Zhao Mei her wooden fish as they walked towards his quarters and the bathing rooms.

Lei Yu followed at a more sedate pace, eventually stopping entirely as he read along, heart in his throat and that stone in his stomach only growing heavier.

_ Lei Yu, _

_ I want to send you my deepest apologies for my behavior and how I caused you pain and disrespected you tonight. Although I didn’t mean to cause it, if I had made sure you were prepared for what I was going to do it would have saved you the pain and fear only a father could know. I will make sure that in the future you are completely aware of what I am going to be doing. If it pleases you to allow me to repair the damage I’ve done to our new relationship. I will do what you deem necessary to fix it.  _

_ I have not given you reason to believe that I will not harm your person and young Mistress Lei, but I will do everything within my power to protect you both even with my own life. I will find a way to prove it to you. _

_ This should have been said in person and I will if you like, but I felt that you needed space from me. If I was wrong then please let me know. But I do need to speak with mama and Ying-ge. I will be back to have lunch with you if you feel comfortable. If you are not then rest well and I will be back the next day for us to discuss our wedding arrangements.  _

  
  


_ Ran _

Lei Yu did not make it fully through his door as he read the final lines, then was quickly rereading. It was, at once, words he’d heard before, but with an air of sincerity to them he hadn’t. He was still distrustful of this, and the panic he’d felt was still raw in his veins. But this was a man who now owned him, who he was going to marry. Who he needed to protect his daughter. That meant he had to try. He’d meant his words, but he could still apologize for his reaction and pray it was good enough.

If Zhao Haoran was as sincere as his words, then it should be, and he wasn’t quite sure what to feel about that.

Stepping into his rooms, he went for his desk and set the letter down, his dark eyes considering his own brush and ink. Behind the wall, he could hear his daughter giggling and the sound of water being poured, and knew he had a little time, at least, to reply.

When he finished, he blew on the ink and carefully rolled it before tying it with a dark brown and yellow ribbon. He called for the courier to take the letter to Shen Guanying’s home, since Zhao Haoran had mentioned seeing him, then shut the door, and his thoughts, off for the night. What would happen, would happen. He would deal with it tomorrow. For tonight, he had a daughter to be with and a night of peace he hadn’t had in a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zhao Haoran apologizes.

Zhao Haoran had shot Zhao Ju Di a look the moment that she returned to his side. He didn’t want to hear teasing when his stomach was twisting. Thankfully it hadn’t been Zhao Mei that’d come with her. She’d have ignored him and went to tease or scold him. He’d been so fortunate that he’d thought of every angle so as to keep the Lei’s safe. He ran a hand through his fringe in a nervous tick. He felt nauseous as he thought about the look on Lei Yu’s face. The man probably… no, did hate him. Not that he deserved not to be? 

He’d unleashed every parent’s fear on the man that danger would come to his child. Zhao Haoran was still buzzing anxiously as he stepped into his brother’s home.

“Hello, Ying-ge.” Zhao Haoran greeted his brother when the man greeted him. Zhao Ju Di bowed respectfully to the man in greeting.

“What happened?” Shen Guanying asked immediately, looking ready to pat his brother down for injuries. Which he did as he opened the door and more or less pulled Zhao Haoran inside, then fluttered about for a pot of tea. “You look like a wreck. Come in, sit down before you fall over.”

“He hates me, I am sure of it.” Zhao Haoran said, voice small and straightened his posture as his brother patted him down. He let himself get guided to sitting at the low table and barely noticed his brother's quick movements still stuck on his own thoughts.

The words were a bit surprising, but Shen Guanying was all calm as he sat down across from his brother and poured him a cup of tea, then one for Zhao Ju Di, and finally one for himself. “Start from the beginning,” he said, knowing that otherwise he’d get a garbled mess of a story. “I’m assuming something happened at the dinner. How was he when you first got there?”

“Tired and in pain.” Zhao Haoran said, not having missed the other’s slight limp and how the man had winced as he’d sat. There’d been dark circles under the man’s eyes and his cheeks a little buffed. He didn’t mention how Lei Yu’s voice was gravely and the man’s bruised wrists had been exposed when he’d lifted his daughter. Zhao Haoran took a deep breath and hoped the ladies made sure he was properly cared for in his absence. “He’d tried to hide it and I took it from him when I wasn’t able to let him know my plan to secure the household tonight.” He went on to tell him play by play of what happened.

“That must have been quite the sight,” Shen Guanying said in a bit of awe and a lot of sympathy when his brother finished. “I’ve never seen him angry, not once. Scared, yes. Happy, somewhat yes. Mostly though, he wears that icy mask. To be honest with you, Ran-di, i was beginning to lose hope for him, like he was dying inside and it was only a matter of time before he just didn’t wake up. But this tells me he still has a will to live in there. Not that I’m saying you did this right, because you didn’t,” he added, giving his brother a look, “but it’s good that he stood up to you. It’s good that he can still find that level of passion in himself. If he was truly a goner, he wouldn’t have moved.”

He sipped his tea and offered Zhao Haoran a kind smile. “You apologized, which is already a step in the right direction. He’s used to being hurt without apologies. I feel at this point he’s a man you have to prove yourself to, so don’t give up. I think he needs to see he’s worth trying for, and since you actually mean well, he’ll come around.”

“Well, I will not stop now and I will continue to work to let Lei Yu know that I am on his side.” Zhao Haoran sighed then took a sip of his tea smiling. The familiar comfort in just being with his brother and Zhao Ju Di while drinking tea helped. “He needs time to heal and figure out he has the right support now. I’ll give him that and I’ll work at his pace unless him or his daughter is in danger.”

“That’s all you can do,” Shen Guanying agreed and smiled as a thought came to him. “I remember  _ fuquin  _ saying once that a beaten dog will still flinch under a kind hand. I feel that is very pertinent to Lei Yu. even with kindness, he may not understand, or see it from an angle you might not. All I can say is do your best to keep the communication open between you. He might not talk a lot at first, but it’s better than nothing.”

He trailed off as a knock sounded from the side door and one of his cleaning girls went to open it. When she came back, she was holding a letter and he grinned, immediately recognizing the brown and yellow ribbon. “Thank you,” he said to the girl and chuckled, holding the little scroll as she whispered in his ear. “Well, things are getting interesting now,” he said cheerfully to his brother and passed it over. “That’s Lei Yu’s ribbon. Seems he got your letter.”

“And hopefully he accepted my apologies? I wouldn’t blame him for not wanting to see me until we are married.” Zhao Haoran stated, untying the ribbon. It was soft and smelled of mint. Which meant that the man must keep the plant in his room. He unraveled the note to read it.

_ Master Zhao _

_ I will not say i didn’t mean my words, but i am sorry for how they came out. If you can find a way to forgive my outburst and threat, I can forgive you for doing what you felt was necessary.  _

_ I will also not say I believe you, but since we are to be married and you are to be a part of my life, as well as my daughter’s life, I want to at least give you the chance. As for repairing what may be broken, I don’t know what to say. We have not built enough between us to damage. I don’t trust you, but I will not stop you from trying to prove yourself, if that is what you really want. _

_ I tend to have a later lunch so I can be with my daughter once her lessons are over. Come at one thirty and bring a basket of plums, both black and green, and some squares of cloth if you have some. _

  
  


_ See you tomorrow. _

_ Lei Yu _

Zhao Haoran immediately brightened stuffing the letter in his qikan sleeve. Then he got up to go grab some paper and ink from a small desk there in the adjacent room. He quickly wrote his answer and went back in. He gave the note to the carrier with his own hair ribbon wrapped around it. He hopes the other didn’t find it offensive as he sent the carrier back. So his hair was down in all its wavy glory when he returned to the dining room. 

“So maybe not all hope is lost.” He smiled fondly as he took his seat. “There’s some fight left in him still.” 

Shen Guanying chuckled at that. “Good news, then?”

“Yes, he’s letting me have lunch with him and A-Xiu tomorrow.” Zhao Haoran beamed at him. “Were you able to get the tea ready for me to put into their basket? I got the cutest tiger toy for her.” 

“Tea and a wooden fish puzzle,” Shen Guanying chuckled. “Did you need anything else for it?”

“Do you know which shop would be the best for healing salts or bath oils? We usually use the ones from the estate but I wonder if he’d like something from one of the shops instead?” Zhao Haoran responded, humming before rubbing his chin in thought.

“Go by quality and scent. I don’t think it matters where it’s from as long as it’ll do the best good,” Shen Guanying pointed out. “Do you need me to pack you some fruit or other snacks to take? I know what Xiu- _ er  _ likes and if you bring her treats it’ll help smooth things over for her. She’s easy going, but change is still hard on little ones. And I know he’ll take into account if she likes you or not.”

“I know and I only want to make this whole ordeal as smoothly as I can for them both.” Zhao Haoran responded, “And I am grateful for your help. Do you think it will be too much to send it tonight or should I take it to lunch?”

“You already sent him another letter. I think you need to give him a little space,” his brother giggled. “Your heart is in the right place, but let him breathe. Tomorrow will be here soon enough and I think this gift is best given in person. Otherwise, he’ll just think you had me or one of your guards throw something together to send.”

“That’s true. So let’s get started.” Zhao Haoran nodded and smiled sheepishly to his brother. He was glad that he’d not ruined everything from the start. 

At Shen Manor the carrier arrived. Zhao Aang accepted the letter for Lei Yu while the man was taking care of his daughter. She wouldn’t interrupt. Instead she took to assisting in preparing the room for the master’s nights rest but she did leave the response on the nightstand before leaving to get a fresh pot of water for the man. 

“I will be back, Master Lei.” Zhao Aang smiled at him, “Master Zhao’s response is on your side table.”

“Thank you,” Lei Yu said, feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the people in his room. Thankfully, he had a wiggling daughter to draw away his attention. “Hold still, little fish. Let me dry you.”

She giggled and burrowed into the towel, letting him rub her cheeks and vigorously dry off her arms. She made noises as he jostled her this way and that with the towel and he found himself smiling fondly at her snickering. When she was finally dry, he helped her into a soft yellow sleeping gown, which had been too big for her when she’d gotten it as a hand-me-down. Now, he realized with an aching heart, it fit her perfectly.

“Baba is sad?”

Her little hands touched his face and he realized he must have done something weird with his expression. He chuckled and kissed her palms, shaking his head. “Not sad,” he promised before plucking her up. “My little fish is growing so quickly. Soon I will have a mermaid.”

“Not a  _ mermaid,  _ baba,” she chided, content to let him carry her off to his room. “Fishes don’t become  _ mermaids.  _ They become  _ dragons.” _

“Oh, my mistake,” Lei Yu chuckled softly, though seeing the letter waiting on his nightstand had his heart skipping. He ignored it, however, to sit her down on his bed and comb through her hair for her nightly braid. “Soon I will be raising a dragoness.”

“Yes,” she said, most pleased, and yawned widely when he tied off her braid. “Baba? I can sleep here?”

“You can sleep here whenever you want to,” he promised, as he did often, and helped her crawl up the bed to the too big pillows. He tucked the blanket up to her chin with a sweet smile. “Now sleep, my dragoness.”

She wiggled and pouted, but obediently enough tried to settle down. He leaned in to kiss her forehead and continued to ignore the letter through his own night routine, dressing down into his underrobe and braiding his long hair back. He thanked the Zhao women for their help and told them to find any room they wanted to sleep in. It was a relief to shut the door and be alone again. He shivered in the cold and moved quickly back to his lightly snoring daughter.

Only when he tucked himself in did he reach for the letter. He toyed with the ribbon around it, rubbing the silk between his fingers, then pulled it free to read.

_ Lei Yu, _

_ There is no need to address me as Master. I know we are not married yet, but you are free to call me Zhao Haoran. I will await your decision on what you prefer for yourself. There is nothing to forgive. First and foremost you are a father. I expect nothing less. Don’t apologize for doing what is your natural right.  _

_ On the matter of lunch, I will bring the plums and since you weren’t specific about the type of fabric...i apologize for the colors and softness. You didn’t mention any needle and thread. I will bring those too just in case. I look forward to seeing you both. Please rest well. _

  
  


_ Ran. _

Lei Yu huffed a bit, finding himself oddly amused. The impression he’d had at dinner of the man was someone cool and collected, a shrewd businessman who knew how to get what he wanted. And win.

But this? This was more like a puppy begging to pet. He chuckled despite himself and moved to set the letter on his nightstand again.

“Baba?” Lei Xiulan sounded half asleep, woken by his moving closer. She snuggled in and sighed happily as he tucked her into his chest. “Story?”

He smiled, knowing she wouldn’t last long on that front, but obliged her anyway. “Once upon a time, there was a puppy who thought too much…”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zhao Haoran sleeps over for the first time.

Zhao Mei popped her head into the room after she had knocked twice with no response. She smiled softly as she noticed that both Lei Yu and Lei Xiulan were still asleep. She motioned for Zhao Aang to enter the room to help her prepare for their charges going to bed. Today she was wearing a set of teal hanfu with a burgundy sash. Her hair was up in an elegant bun with hair pins with dangling, jingling leaf charms as she walked. She approached the bed and kneeled down. 

“Master Lei. It is past chen. Would you like me to prepare you a bath?” Zhao Mei asked, softly. 

Lei Yu groaned and turned his face to the light of the morning, which only made his expression scrunch. “...past chen?” he asked, dubious, before slowly sitting up. It’d been awhile since he’d slept to this side of  _ chen  _ and felt a moment of panic. The fear was oddly dampened, however, by routine, sleepiness, and his daughter’s hold on his arm. “Have I been summoned by the Madam?”

“Yes, Master Lei, it is past chen.” Zhao Mei answered, and frowned slightly. “Master must have forgotten but Madam is indisposed today. She will not be needing you for anything. Would you prefer coffee or tea? Milk for young mistress?”

Lei Yu blanched a bit, but nodded. “Just tea, please.” He wasn’t sure if it was a relief or not that Madam Shu was being forced away. He feared her anger, but he wouldn’t waste this time without her. Leaning in, he gently rubbed Lei Xiulan’s back to slowly wake her. “Little fish, it’s time for breakfast,” he murmured. “Do you want some milk?”

“Mmm…” The little one perked up at the mention of something to drink and sleepily rubbed her eyes. “Can it be warm?” she asked with a wide yawn.

“Of course, young Mistress and is there anything you would like specifically to eat? We have sweet rolls, rice, honey pork, eggs, and vegetables.” Zhao Mei responded, eyeing her new master.

Lei Yu was slightly surprised that congee was not on the list, but given how his stomach gurgled, he decided he didn’t care. “Sounds good,” he promised and moved to get out of bed. “All of it. Thank you.”

“Sweet rolls,” Lei Xiulan hummed happily, her preference clear, and smiled toothily at Zhao Mei. “Do you like sweet rolls too?”

“Oh, yes, young mistress. I like chocolate too.” Zhao Mei winked at her while she got up to help the little girl out of bed. She tidied the girl’s hair a bit so that it wouldn’t be in her face as she ate. She looked up at Lei Yu. “I hope it wasn’t bold but breakfast is on the low table on your porch. It is a lovely morning and not too cold.”

“I…” Lei Yu swallowed a bit, oddly touched by the sentiment. It was such a kindness and he felt utterly unworthy of it. He nodded again, not sure what more to do, and was pulled along by his excited daughter to the porch. “Thank you,” he said as he folded himself neatly at the table, then helped Lei Xiulan load up her plate. “Vegetables first, then sweet roll,” he reminded her, which got him a pout, but the girl nonetheless went for her carrots first.

“Yes, baba.”

Satisfied, Lei Yu started up his own dish. The morning breeze was lukewarm and the morning sun rising high. It really was a beautiful day and he looked out over his gardens, suddenly gripped by the realization that he could sit here all day if he wanted, just being. He smiled a little, awed, before focusing on his food.

Lei Xiulan did eat her vegetables, and all her eggs for good measure before going for the sweet rolls. She held one up for Zhao Mei. “Here, pretty!” 

“Oh thank you, young Mistress.” Zhao Mei grinned, accepting the sweet roll. She took a bite with an amused hum while sitting down. There was a soft knock on the doorframe behind them. 

“Master Lei is it too soon for my presence?” Zhao Ju Di asked, willing to wait. She’d already vetted the household staff and fired two ladies maids for their loyalty to Madam Shu that were assigned to Lei Xiulan. She also got rid of the one cook that was just bad. No one needed to be poisoned and the man refused to step down for apprenticeship. Her hair was up in a braided ponytail and was in her normal black Zhao guard robes.

“Uh… no?” Lei Yu said in confusion. Yesterday had been such a whirlwind that he couldn’t remember their names, or what Zhao Haoran wanted them to do in the house. Once more, that overwhelming feeling crept in to be so surrounded, awkward that the ladies were just standing there. This was not how he liked his life, so stiff and formal, and wondered how much he could get away with.

“This table is big enough for all of us,” he said to the ladies and made sure to look at all of them in the eye. “If you bring more cups, we can share the tea. I don’t exactly like eating knowing you’re getting nothing. Help yourselves.”

“I will get them Di-jie.” Zhao Mei stated, getting up to go get the additional cups as Zhao Ju Di smiled at her and rounded the table to be in front of Lei Yu. 

“Thank you Mei-mei.” Zhao Ju Di stated, setting her papers of notes for him to sign once he reviewed them. “I have already eaten Master Lei but I will gladly accept tea. Last night would be overwhelming for myself and if I am wrong please let me know. I will reintroduce myself. This one is Zhao Ju Di. I will be yours and Master Zhao’s stewardess. It is my job to assist you run the household at a functional level that is both of yours pleasure. I have already made some decisions just for safety. If you feel that I am wrong. I will accept responsibility for hiring them back.” Zhao jU Di said, sliding the notes over to the man. Her writing was neat and not too small. It explained her reasons for all the dismissals and if there were recommendations amongst peers.

Lei Yu found he agreed with her assessments and was more than grateful for the help. He’d never liked the maids Madam Shu had hired for Lei Xiulan. Thankfully, they were no longer a worry, nor was that awful cook. “I appreciate your help, Miss Ju Di. My daughter will need new maids. All I ask is that you go through me during hiring, and they have extensive time with A-Xiu to see if she likes them. She has the final say,” he said and smiled, far more relaxed, when the cups for tea were brought. He poured them all a cup and was happy when they shared. It was far better than just being stared at.

“As for a chef, I know exactly who I want,” he said, certain of it. “Gu Ming in the middle district. He was our chef when I became concubine here and his food is magnificent. Moreover, he is a kind man who has been forced to work two jobs to give his sister a good life. She was in an accident and lost the use of her legs,” he explained, thinking of the jolly Gu Ming and his sweet sister, who had been kind enough to teach him needlepoint. “Madam Shu had him fired because he refused to poison the food meant for Guanyu, as well as refused to put relaxants in a soup meant for me.”

“Then I will send him the proposition after you approve it. A proposal for a job is the wages, job details, and recommendations. However you’re requesting him so the later will be explained as not being needed. Master Zhao wanted to make Zhao Tai Sun our head chef for the kitchen but if you prefer his food then may he handle desserts?” Zhao Ju Di asked, flipping one paper over and took the stick of black wax that’d been sharpened to a point. “And Mei-mei wa…”

“Can I be the primary lady maid for young Mistress?” Zhao Mei interrupted Zhao Ju Di, who shot her alook. She flushed sheepishly but was proud. The little girl had already wormed into her heart and she did have a good education. 

“Though you know that Zhao Xin has the proper training to teach….”

“But she’s….”

“She’s what?” Zhao Ju Di blinked. 

“....all rules?” Zhao Mei winced, probably having just lost her chance.

The sight had Lei Yu chuckling. It was brief, a bit loud, and started him. He covered his mouth with his sleeve. “Miss Ju Di,” he said quickly before he could get too embarrassed with himself, “Teacher Wu is her primary tutor already and I’m sure A-Xiu wants more of a playmate than an overseer. She learns better through play, anyway.”

He looked to his daughter with a smile. “Do you want Miss Pretty to be your playmate?” he asked and was unsurprised when the girl nodded enthusiastically.

“She plays fishes,” Lei Xiulan told Zhao Ju Di. “She can be my friend?”

“I can make fishes!” Zhao Mei grinned, waggling her eyebrows as Zhao Ju Di shook her head. 

“Of course, Master Lei. We would never want to replace him. Zhao Mei also doesn’t have the training and we would want her to have education you desire and what befits her station.” Zhao Ju Di responded, smiling. It was wholesome and brought out a different side of her. She wasn’t the elegant soft beauty of Zhao Mei, but more edgier while slightly masculine from her devotion to training. 

“Also, this morning Master Zhao wanted me to inform you that he will want to speak with you about Danchu House and moving to the western penthouse post your wedding.” Zhao Ju Di said, voice low so that it didn’t catch Lei Xiulan’s attention. “But that will be during her lessons. Not with her present unless you are alright with that.”

Lei Yu considered that and nodded, a little surprised he was being offered a choice in it at all. “Tell him to come earlier today if he can,” he offered. “We can speak before lunch of this… if he’s still wanting to have lunch with me.”

“Yes, of course he would. Do you mind if I send a wraith?” Zhao Ju Di asked, “Or would you prefer I wait?” 

“You can send one,” Lei Yu said, once more surprised that his opinion had been asked for. “I don’t mind magic,” he added, just in case that was why she’d asked. “I don’t have a core, but I’ve been around cultivators a long time. Guanyu used to make wraith birds for A-Xiu.”

“Well my chosen wraith is a rat.” Zhao Ju Di replied, gathering her  _ qi _ and a small cool toned gold rat appeared. It flicked it’s ears and it’s tail wiggled. “Zhao Mei has moths.” As she spoke it took off to go find Zhao Haoran. “And we will ask before using. You are our Master too, not just Zhao Haoran.”

“...thank you,” Lei Yu said, not fully sure of her words, but it was easy enough to accept. He turned his attention back to his daughter, who was trying to sneak another sweet bun. “Now, little fish, it’s time to get dressed for Teacher Wu.”

“Aw,” Lei Xiulan pouted, but it was quickly a giggle when her father leaned over to kiss her round cheek. “Do you think I can play puzzles again?” she asked, hopeful.

“You’ll have to ask Teacher Wu,” Lei Yu chuckled and kissed her forehead next, then helped her stand from the table. “Show Miss Pretty how good you are at picking out clothes.”

“Okay!” Lei Xiulan said, excited to have a new friend, and reached up to take Zhao Mei’s hand. “This way, pretty! We got to look nice for Teacher Wu.”

“Yes, we do! Teachers are here to help us grow strong. Let’s go.” Zhao Mei winked at her then bowed her head to Lei Yu before taking her leave. 

Zhao Ju Di’s smile shifted to one of fondness before she looked at the remaining papers. “There are a few more things, but you can review them at your leisure.” Zhao Ju Di took a sip of her tea. “Is there anything you wish to ask or instruct?”

“You spoke before of Master Zhao’s preference in chef,” Lei Yu said. “This house is usually run by two chefs. However, if Master Zhao prefers the food from his chef, I know Gu Ming will not mind sticking to pastries. He can cook just about anything,” he explained then looked at the papers with a feeling of dread. “As for asking… well, I have no idea how to run a house,” he admitted softly. “I know the staff well, because I usually took the punishments for them. The majority are loyal to the legacy of this home and what it used to represent. They are good people who are easily manipulated, which is why Madam Shu has kept them. Her control over us has been absolute. I just ask that you keep that in mind and be kind. Many have been forced into compliance in order to spare their loved ones.”

“We will be. I can promise you that Master Zhao has no intention of replacing all the staff with our family. However, if the staff here aren’t willing to adapt to Master Zhao or  _ your _ leadership of the house, or have intentions to harm or allow harm to you or young Mistress Lei, we will not allow them to be a part of the household.” Zhao Ju Di responded, setting her cup down. “Zhao Tai Sun likes to cook and has training. He doesn’t have to be the chef. He is just fine running the kitchen and helping them with the cooking. “

“We can let them figure it out then,” Lei Yu huffed a brief breath of a laugh. “Let the masters of their crafts decide the best way to fit. I am not a chef, only the consumer. I won’t pretend to understand the kitchen or its workings. I trust Gu Ming and I’m sure Master Zhao trusts his man. They will figure out what is best for them and the house.”

He sipped the last of his tea and looked back at Zhao Aang, who was standing guard at the door. “Would you like another cup?” he asked, lifting the teapot to refill his own. “And you, Miss Ju Di?”

“No thank you. I prefer coffee.” Zhao Aang stated her necklace shifting in the light. 

“I would, thank you.” Zhao Ju Di chuckled then went serious as her gaze drifted to other’s neck. “Put him on your ankle and don’t let young Mistress see him unless Master Lei has already spoken to you about it.” 

“...uh, spoken about what, exactly?” Lei Yu said, feeling lost as he refilled the woman’s tea.

“Sun He, Master Lei.” Zhao Aang answered, stepping closer to join them at the table so that the man could see her neck where a shiny thin black snake was wrapped around it. Most of the time it laid still so that it appeared to be a necklace. She lifted her hand to gently pet him and the snake moved, loosening his hold.

Lei Yu felt like he was missing something, but merely shrugged. He was not scared of snakes and neither was his daughter. “As long as he doesn’t harm A-Xiu, he is welcome here,” he said honestly. “She is not scared of snakes, either. In fact, she thinks the garden snakes are just ‘big worms’. If you trust him, then I will allow him here.”

“We do and he is actually formerly a person. He messed with a curse and was unable to turn back when he was teenager. He’s been with Zhao Aang ever since. So no fear of biting. He’s retained his mind.” Zhao Ju Di answered, glad that the man didn’t panic and get upset. “If you like he will coil around her leg and ankle instead of her neck if you’d prefer him out sight.” Zhao Aang leaned in and kissed the snake's head.

It was a sad sight, and Lei Yu felt his heart go out to them. “He isn’t harming anything, I don’t mind,” Lei Yu said again, a wry smile on his lips. “Knowing A-Xiu, she’ll want to pet him and carry him around, so if  _ he  _ wants to hide himself, I’d fully understand. Otherwise, he’s welcome just as the rest of you are.”

“Thank you and he likes to be petted.” Zhao Aang mused as the snake moved along to readjust himself. 

“I..Master Zhao should be here soon. Would you prefer lunch here or in the garden?” ZHao Ju Di stated, hearing the whisper of Zhao Haoran’s response to her wraith in her mind. “I can have them begin now as I go make my rounds.”

“The garden, please,” Lei Yu said, sobering in the knowledge he’d have to face Zhao Haoran again. “I don’t take my lunch until after A-Xiu is done with lessons,” he informed her and finished his cup of tea before standing to go back inside to dress. “Tell Master Zhao to meet me in my gardens, if you would?”

“Of course, Master Lei.” Zhao Ju Di stated as she got up. She dismissed herself to get the preparations started. 

Zhao Aang smiled at him. “All will be well in the end, Master Lei.” 

He did his best to smile back. “I wish I had your confidence,” he admitted softly. “I’m not a man made of hope when it comes to myself. As long as my daughter is happy, that is all that matters to me.” Zhao Aang didn’t have anything to add or object because she understood why the man felt the way he did. There were many events that happened in a person’s life. She just hoped he kept his mind more open as he married Zhao Haoran.

  
  


It was probably an hour and a half later when Zhao Haoran arrived there at the manor. He’d meant to be there sooner but then he’d gotten asked to help with a spar and that’d been its own moment that he wished he could take back. Not the sparring per se, but that he’d should have remembered how much of a clutz he was in hand to hand combat. He was so much better at swordsmanship. 

“Please don’t let her notice.” Zhao Haoran said to himself as he stepped out into the garden where the maid had told him Lei Yu was. He was carrying the basket and his hair that’d been up in a braided bun was now down and held with the ribbon that Lei Yu had given him, because it’d still be in the inner robe qikan pocket he’d used yesterday. Today he was in a light blue set of muslin robes with black leather panels and a black belt to keep his robes together. It was the only clean one he could find in his rooms so he’d taken off the nice but dirty one. 

He spotted Lei Yu with ease beneath a tree looking like he was knitting? Perhaps that’s what the basket was for? Zhao Haoran waved and smiled despite the bruise blooming on his jaw from where his martial sister’s foot had connected with his face. “Hello, Master Lei.” He bowed his head respectfully. He noticed the man was barefoot and it made him wish he was too. Though he had scars on his feet from his training.

Lei Yu took a second just to blink up at him, seeing the bruise and the nervous way the man was holding himself. After a moment, he sighed and set aside his needlework, which wasn’t knitting, but embroidery. His current project was a koi on a sash for his daughter that she could grow into the next few years. 

Standing, he bowed in respect and noticed Zhao Haoran was fidgeting with the basket. Fair enough, he supposed. The man looked as nervous as he felt himself. But he’d apologized and had been forgiven, so that was enough of that. Remembering his thoughts from last night, about how Zhao Haoran was like a puppy, he took the basket from the man before he dropped it.

“If I don’t get to call you Master, you don’t get to call me it either,” he chided lightly. He knew that wasn’t the true meaning of Zhao Haoran’s words in the letter, but it was oddly amusing to see the man flounder a bit. He further softened and felt a rush of bravery. “Come sit with me, husband, and tell me about that rather impressive bruise on your face,” he said, retaking his spot with flourish and setting the basket down at his side, so it would be between them. When Zhao Haoran didn’t immediately move, however, he looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Unless you’d rather stand there?”

“No, no.  _ Husband _ .” Zhao Haoran flushed, following after him. A shiver ran down his spine at the way the other had called him  _ husband _ . He took off his boots and joined him on the blanket beneath the tree. He rubbed his head sheepishly before gesturing for the man to open his basket. “This is for you both and you don’t have to share but since you wanted to know. I was on my way and I was asked to help demonstrate and Teacher En-funh asked me to help her demonstrate a few defensive moves. I forgot about the kick at the end. So her foot connected to my cheek.” 

Lei Yu stared at him again, his expression giving nothing away. Inwardly, he was starting to tumble with amusement, though he wasn’t sure if it was a good feeling or not. Outwardly, he was stone, he noticed the man started fidgeting all over again.

“....you really are a puppy,” he muttered after a moment and considered the basket a tad warily, but was pleased to see the plums. Still, he didn’t open it. “Miss Aang is training over there if you need healing,” he added, nodding over the pond bridge in the middle. There was a corner full of sand that Shen Guanyu had used to train in his own cultivation. He’d offered it to Zhao Aang to use so she wasn’t bored simply watching him embroider. “Or, I suppose, a matching mark on the other side? She seems the type.”

“Matching mark and I’ll be all chubby faced for our wedding. I don’t want my soon to be daughter afraid of me.” Zhao Haoran chuckled and nudged the basket. “I need to look my best for the both of you and it’s okay to open the basket. It isn’t a trick. I’m not good at those; Zhao Mei and Zhao Tai Sun are far more skilled than I in those matters so I leave it to them.”

Lei Yu gave him a look. “You are the lord of the manor,” he pointed out and finally pulled the basket over. “It doesn’t matter what you look like.”

Zhao Haoran, after all, was the head of the family now. Sure, society had its expectations, but Zhao Haoran could really do whatever he wanted to do short of going to the wedding naked. The visual made him snort inwardly as he pulled off the cover on the basket to peek inside. He froze, seeing bath salts and other oils and his expression shuttered all the more.

“Thank you, husband,” he said, though wasn’t exactly thankful. He pulled out one of the vials of oil to sniff it. At least it smelt nice, not like the oils Madam Shu had made him wear. He did his best not to sigh in despair. “Forgive this one for not smelling adequately. I’ll wear these immediately for you.”

Zhao Haoran’s head tilted much like the puppy he’d been called would in confusion. “You smell fine, fine husband. I’d chosen them not for their smell but their effects. I didn’t want to ask you about your injuries in case it might offend you but I thought these might help the healing? You care for Lei Xiulan and I won’t presume how much work that is but I know my mother’s work was hard with me. I thought they may also relax you. The ingredients are on a paper scroll in there. Oh, did you see the tiger and turtle? I hope she likes them.” Zhao Haoran said, trying to make the moment lighter. He knew he’d should have gone with something else but the baijiu he thought had been too forward or might be perceived like the salts and oils are now. “And, It does matter how I look because we will be a family and I represent you both. I don’t want to be an embarrassment for you because I’ve not been raised to be a lord but a Zhao.”

That was hardly better, given what the Zhaos actually  _ did,  _ but Lei Yu did his best to rethink the gifts. Could they really be just that? Gifts? “Forgive me then,” he said softly, smelling the oil again. “Madam Shu wanted me to smell a certain way.” THat was all he was going to say on that, because just those words had him feeling dirty and used. 

He focused instead on the little plush toys Zhao Haoran had pointed out and gently took them to feel. They were soft, which was what would matter to her, and a small smile lit his lips. “She will like them,” he assured the man quickly once he realized the man was practically vibrating in nerves. “She doesn’t have a tiger or turtle yet.”

“Already forgiven, I should have explained beforehand, and I’m glad that she doesn’t yet. There is a wooden puzzle. Yin-ge said that she likes them.” Zhao Haoran smiled and stretched a bit to get the stiffness from his back. “Also, you can dress or look anyway you choose. I am not your owner. You are a person that can choose what you desire.”

“Aren’t you?” Lei Yu countered, raising an eyebrow at him. “You marched in here to claim this house and me. How can you say you don’t own me when you do?”

“Because a marriage is about partnership of  _ equals _ and when you get a chance to review the terms of our marriage you’ll find what I am about to tell you. Once we are married then you have the option to leave with your daughter and have a happy life. What I said at dinner last night was no joke or trick. You’d have you both would have your income and Dandan house, though I don’t think I did say that out loud.” Zhao Haoran answered without hesitation. “My brother didn’t give or leave you that. It wasn’t right and I wanted to make it so for you. People are not things, husband.”

“And how can I believe your words when I didn’t even get a choice?” Lei Yu said, cooly, though only sighed when the man seemed to deflate. “I told you before, I do not trust you. I have no reason to. It’s up to you to show it. Now,” he added, done with that turn of conversation, and reached down into the basket for the fabric squares and the promised extra sewing kit. “Do you sew, husband?”

_ Because I didn’t want you to side with her and not be free _ . Zhao Haoran thought before letting it go because that’s what Lei Yu wanted. He wasn’t an idiot and could understand the cue. “I do which is funny because I am horrible with knives.” Zhao Haoran answered cheerfully, scooting closer. “You weren’t precise on fabric choice or prints or plain. So I went to our clothing depot on the estate and got all the scraps I could find that I thought that all three of us might like but mostly Lei Xiulan.”

“Good, that is what I wanted you to do,” Lei Yu admitted with a satisfied look. “I was purposely vague so I could get your most honest effort,” he explained and pulled out a few pieces of the fabric that he handed to the man. “I’ll show you how to make her soft toys. She plays hard, so we go through a lot, and I want her to know you first as an uncle that gives her soft things, if you’ll allow me?”

“I will follow your lead. You are her father and if that makes her transition in me with my fellow brother and sister’s here better than I am all for it.” Zhao Haoran preened with a large smile at doing something right.

His smile was charming and very puppylike indeed. Lei Yu was seized by a sudden urge to squeeze the man’s cheeks and muss them, just like he’d seen Shen Guanyu do with his dogs before they were given away. He felt his ears go hot and he huffed at himself, then showed Zhao Haoran how to fold the fabric square into a simple, yet very colorful and soft fish shape. 

“Sew here,” he instructed, and once he was sure Zhao Haoran understood the concept, grabbed up his embroidery once more. “I was told you wished to speak to me about Danchu House?” he said after plucking in a few lines of bright red thread, keeping one eye on Zhao Haoran so the man didn’t put the needle through his finger.

“Oh yes, I was given by Lawyer Qin the designs of the half built Danchu House Yu-ge had designed for his mother in Yiling. I know that it was never finished but I thought that it would be a proper investment to finish the house once the new changes are made to the design and then move Madam Shu there as was brother’s wish. Now, we do have because of our marriage other residences that are available due to my mama’s family should you wish her to go to Gusu or Leling.”

The news made Lei Yu’s hands still and his expression drop in sadness. Was it really only a month past that he sat here with Shen Guanyu and heard this very plot? He looked away, not trusting his composure against the man’s sweet smile. So full of life, as Shen Guanyu had been. Robbed, and over what? Money? He felt sick.

“I don’t care what you do to her,” he said, because he really didn’t. “She killed Guanyu over this and has done a number of atrocities to the people of this house. I’ve been here almost four years and have been forced to be in her bed for three. She has taken everything from me that you can imagine, everything but my daughter. Kill her, skin her, put her up in a house, bury her alive. I don’t care. Just keep my daughter safe. And yourself,” he added, voice dropping even softer at that. “You are the only thing standing between her wrath and my daughter’s life. If I lose you, I really will lose everything. Do as you will, but be mindful of the damage she will reap in her wake. She will not go quietly. She will fight. And if you lose, we all do.”

“Lei Yu,” Zhao Haoran stopped sewing and reached out to lightly touch the other’s arm. “Everything I am doing is for our safety and the benefit of Lei Xiulan’s future. My brother when he started this plan… he didn’t have the support nor did he ask for help because I would have been here by his side if he’d asked. Instead he put his faith in the wrong people at the wrong time and it didn’t help that he drank or put you aside.” He paused letting his arm slip down when he felt the other stiffen. “So she had every advantage. I’ve got what he didn’t and I will not put you aside or leave you both behind. As for what will become of her the choice is hers. She can either leave with dignity or die trying to hold onto something that was never her’s.”

“I don’t trust you,” Lei Yu said again, if only so the man could understand his current struggle, “but I need you all the same. I needed Guanyu too, and we both know where he ended up.” He took a deep, shaking breath and blinked the tears away, but it was hard with the grief so fresh. Shen Guanyu hadn’t been a close friend, but he’d still been a friend, a confidant, and protector. As best as he could have been.

“If you truly mean your words, you won’t mind keeping a promise to me,” he said after a moment to compose himself, looking over at Zhao Haoran. His eyes were glassy but his expression was firm. “If you do lose, you take my daughter and you  _ run.  _ You keep her safe. She is the only priority. Don’t argue,” he added when the man started to look a bit stubborn. “If you can’t save us both, you will choose her every single time. You save my daughter and you don’t look back. Promise me.”

“I promise.” Zhao Haoran stuck his hand out and flexed his pinkie. “On my life I will always keep your daughter safe. She will have the life you’ve wanted from her and I know you don’t trust me. Just know that I will not give up easily and I will not let her hurt you both again even if I have to kill her. She thinks of me as my father’s son. I am my mother’s.” A different more trained and stoic expression took over his face. “This is your life, Lei Xiulan’s life, are not a game to me. This is my future with you. I don’t know how long that will be once you are reassured that you’re my  _ equal _ not a servant. But I do want a long and happy life.”

Slowly, Lei Yu reached out to hook his pinkie around the other’s, a sad smile on his face. “Guanyu did this,” he admitted softly. “Just before he died. Pinkie swears really are the strongest promises.” He shook their hands a moment, then let go with a shuddery breath.

“You may think this strange, but as many times that I’ve been reminded of divorce and having that choice, I have not considered it. I don’t have anywhere else to go,” he admitted, “and i know this is not concerting, but you cannot be worse than Madam Shu. I can see it in your eyes. Even if you did the same as her to me - raped me, tied me up, made me call you master and praise the very ground you walked on, I can tell just from the face you’re making now that you wouldn’t get out of that what she does. To her I am not a person, and I don’t feel like a person to myself. You look at me like something human, and I have not had that in a long time. If you truly wish to be with me, well… I am not looking to get away from you is what I’m trying to say. I offered you the chance to prove your honesty to me. I stand by that. I will not turn my back unless you give me a reason to.”

“I know that you’ve not considered it and you are being reminded because…” his head dipped down like a puppy being scolded. Zhao Haoran wasn’t ashamed. He was glad he made the choice because from what he’d seen and what Shen Guanying told him that Lei Yu  _ would _ have sided with her. “..I took the choice away from you because I didn’t want you to limit your choices and siding with her. I wanted to remind you that you aren’t anyone’s belonging. In a week you will be a free man that can leave me and walk away with the funds to go wherever, whenever you pleased and Lei Xiulan would have her own income as well. “ His gaze now lifted to meet Lei Yu’s eyes. “I will never force myself on you or ask you to submit to me. If you should ever desire me then I will need you to initiate, and if I do desire you then I will ask. I want you to understand this completely. You can say  _ no _ and I  _ will _ honor your choice.”

Lei Yu considered that with suspicion, though it was warmed by something gentle he hadn’t felt in a long while for someone that wasn’t his daughter. Perhaps being around so many liars had made him bitter, but also it was easy to spot the truth. He didn’t believe the man, but he knew Zhao Haoran, at least for now, was being honest. Tomorrow, that could change, but today he was being given a choice and Lei Yu wanted to take it, because he may never get it again.

“So you offer me a choice. You, or freedom?” he said, his expression perfectly controlled. “We could be barely married one day and I could walk away. That is what you just said? I can leave whenever I want? I can choose to  _ not  _ choose you?”

“I’ll be a boring burden if you stay but that might interest you if you want to get to know me.” Zhao Haoran nodded, “But yes. The day after our wedding, you could pack yours and Lei Xiulan’s bags to go wherever you pleased. The first deposit of money has been applied to the both of your accounts. Though Lei Xiulan’s is much larger. Madam Shu had emptied the original account Yu-ge had set up for her. I added the back pay. “

Lei Yu nodded, his eyes sliding to the side as he lost himself in thought. He hadn’t lied when he said he had nowhere to go, and if the accounts were legally hers, then even if he left, Lie Xiulan would have support. That was a failsafe he hadn’t had since coming here and he allowed his heart to accept it, and with gratitude.

But the rest made him pause. This place had been the only real home he’d ever had, and yes, it’d been hell, but there had been true happiness here too. He hadn’t lied either when he’d told Zhao Haoran that it couldn’t get worse. Madam Shu had stripped him of everything but his love for his daughter. There was just simply nothing left for the man to break, even if he tried. At least, not yet.

Because, in all honesty, Lei Yu was… lonely. He missed Shen Guanyu. For all the man’s faults, he’d still been a steady friend to both him and Liu Xiulan. He had tried so hard to be the good person his mother had buried, and had died for it. Lei Yu felt guilty that he had not been able to do more, and guilty that he hadn’t been able to even live his life to honor that sacrifice. Now, maybe he could. Maybe, for once, life could be kind.

“You finally give me a choice in regards to this marriage, in keeping it or leaving,” he said, meeting Zhao Haoran’s eye. “I have made my decision.”

“You have?” Zhao Haoran asked, wondering what the man would choose. He didn’t even let himself consider that it would be to stay. In truth who would want too? A caged bird desiring freedom? He’d know his choice. Zhao Haoran smiled anyways.

“I have,” Lei Yu said and, with a brief hesitation, reached over to tug on a strand of Zhao Haoran’s hair, where the tail of his ribbon stood out proudly on the soft waves. “And I choose to be yours,  _ husband.  _ If you’ll still have me.”

Zhao Haoran couldn’t stop the look of surprise on his face. Though a bright smile overtook it and his cheeks flushed. “Of course I’ll have you and I hope you will still have me. Also may I kiss your hand?” His gaze flicking to the hand that’d tugged his hair.

Lei Yu raised an eyebrow at the odd request, but nodded. “You may,” he said, curious despite himself. He’d never been kissed on his hand before. Any and all hand kisses in his life had been for his daughter.

“Thank you, husband.” Zhao Haoran grinned, gently taking the man’s hand. He pressed a kiss to the center of the back of the man’s hand. It was soft and filled with promises that he never would voice. He would honor this marriage and give the man trusting him right now a good life. He lowered his head to where the man’s hand was against his forehead. “Now, to a conversation that every betrothed couple loves to talk about. The wedding. May we keep it simple?”

“Simple,” Lei Yu agreed with some relief, though it brought to mind the other topic the ladies had brought up. “I was told you wished to talk to me about moving us to the west wing suites.”

“Yes! Though to be honest I haven’t seen the western gardens but  _ mama _ tells me they were beautiful when she lived here. I wanted there to be something new for the both of us that was nice. Zhao Ju Di said she gave you the sketches of rearranging the masters quarters there. I had my friend designing a joint room for us and an adjoining one. Though the difference is that the nursery is at the end of the hall. I thought that we could combine the servants rooms into a large nursery and turn the current nursery into a dorm for the servants.” Zhao Haoran jumped right in, happy to be talking about things he was passionate about which was business and architecture. 

Lei Yu blinked at his enthusiasm, once more thinking of a puppy who’s face he’d like to squish. Instead, he set his embroidery hoop down and shifted his bundles of thread to get to the papers laying underneath. He’d kept the sketches of the rooms at hand precisely for this purpose, as well as to show Lei Xiulan to get her opinion on moving. Holding it up, he scooted a bit closer to the man, moving the basket as he did so.

“I think that will work,” he said, seeing how the layout would flow with the changes as he looked over the blueprints. “A-Xiu will enjoy having more room, though I fear it’ll only encourage her to start asking for a pet again. As for the garden, Madam Fei stayed in these suites for a time, so I know she kept the garden flourishing. Guanyu was less skilled with that, Madam Shu hired a gardener to keep them in shape so he had a place to run his dogs.”

One of the blueprints gave the basic outline of the garden and he pointed to certain, unseen landmarks. “There’s a pond in this corner that flows to the opposite side, with a bridge right here. Your mother had plum trees put on this side,” he said, tapping the place, “and I know they’re still there. They’re far enough from the wall that when the wind hits just right, this garden gets full of plum blossoms.”

“If we get the chance we should look at it before I leave today. Tomorrow they will begin the modifications for us and since you mentioned dogs…” Zhao Haoran trailed thinking of his own dog. If he had to he’d leave the pip at Zhao Estate if needed. “May we have a dog? I have a chongqing named Kuai and he’s really a big puppy that loves affection.” 

“Like dog, like owner?” Lei Yu guessed and smiled a bit to see the man actually blush. “Is Kuai good with children? I ask only because A-Xiu will be all over him.”

“Better than me. He is a really good dog and has been for companionship not hunting.” Zhao Haoran informed him so that the man didn’t have any fears. “May Zhao Ju Di bring him in the morning?” 

“You may never see him again, fair warning,” Lei Yu huffed, shaking his head fondly. “A-Xiu is an avid animal lover. Guanyu’s dogs were loyal to only him and would growl or bite anyone else, but they followed her like ducklings. I’ve even had to warn Sun He,” he admitted with a brief breath of a laugh, “because she will be carrying him around like he’s a wiggling scarf, I’m sure of that.”

“He is a wiggling scarf. I can’t believe I forgot to talk to you about that. I am glad she’s so good with animals. It’s also good for her core. She’ll understand it better.” Zhao Haoran praised the little girl. “And Kuai has to eat sometime. I can see him then even if I’m the one carving his dinner.” 

“Ah, that’s something else to talk with you about,” Lei Yu said, a prickle of nerves making his chest tighten. “Miss Ju Di fired the chef this morning and I asked her to rehire our old chef, Gu Ming. I know you wanted your own man in the kitchen, so I wanted to tell you that it’s big enough for two chefs. Moreover, I wish to help Gu Ming if I can,” he said softly. “He is a good man. One of the best I’ve known. He was fired because he refused to tamper with food made for Guanyu and I. He has an older sister that he cares for and has been working double shifts. I’ve always hated that I couldn’t help him, so I ask that you give him a chance. Even if he only makes pastries for us, he’ll be making the same wage he makes with his two jobs now and he’s already a beloved person in this household. Many of the staff here know him.”

“Then let’s do this. We can make him head chef and A-Sun can help him manage the kitchen and be head of pastries. Also, did they both live on the grounds before? Why don’t they move back in and that can also help with traveling back and forth.” Zhao Haoran said after considering what the man had told him. He’d definitely keep the man on staff and give him the job Lei Yi felt the man was worthy of. Especially since he’s been loyal and a decent human being not to harm Lei Yu or his brother. 

“I… yes they did,” Lei Yu said, taken aback by such an easy acceptance. “They will have to have the chef’s quarters since we already modified the floors for Gu Tan. She is in a wheelchair,” he explained. “So Guanyu had ramps put in for her. That’s also why this entrance,” he added, pointing off to the left of his garden, “is without stairs. A-Tan came here often to help me with A-Xiu, since she was littler then. She also taught me embroidery. Even if we move to the west side, I hope you leave this garden open for the servants and for her. It’s meant to be enjoyed, not forgotten.”

“I never had intentions of shutting away any part of the house. From my understanding that is normal? And don’t worry about A-Sun. He currently sleeps in the barracks. Me, Zhao Mei, and Zhao Xing are the ones with a jingshi back at the estate. So he will find his private room a luxury.” Zhao Haoran chuckled, he peered at the man’s discarded embroidery. “And it looks like she taught you well. I just watched Zhao Mei.” 

“I do my best,” Lei Yu said, gently waving off the praise, though his smile was far more warm as he took in his work. “I can’t make clothing, so I stick with sashes. That way she can wear them with multiple dresses and grow with them. This one is a bit big still, so it’ll be a present when she’s a little older. Maybe seven,” he mused, then blinked with a thought. “Say, husband, do you happen to remember when you were little and your father built you and Ying- _ di  _ that treehouse?”

“Yes, I do.” Zhao Haoran answered, liking where the conversation was going. 

“When Ying- _ di  _ was here, he and Guanyu fixed it into a bigger room,” Lei Yu told him. “Then used  _ qi  _ to keep it from hurting the tree and shifting as it grows. Perhaps your man would prefer that as his room? No one really uses it, so it’s private. A-Xiu isn’t allowed in it yet because it’s so high, so Guanyu helped me build an indoor treehouse that she has in her nursery. I’d hate for your treehouse to go to waste.”

“That would be good for him and we can make a new nursery for her together.” Zhao Haoran smiled, already plotting. “Hopefully she won’t be too disappointed that the new one will be planned for a little bit. We will make it magical unless you want to wait to move till it’s all completed?” 

“I’ll leave that up to her. She was only three when Guanyu built her little treehouse, but even then she showed signs of being interested in what he was doing. I think she’d enjoy helping us build the space. She can always stay in our rooms until it’s finished,” he pointed out, looking at the blueprints for the master suite. It only had one bed, but it was large, and if push came to shove they could let her sleep on the daybed couch. She was little enough that it wouldn’t be a worry of her not fitting or falling off in the night. “It would be a good way for her to bond with you as well, since all she knows of her Ran- _ shu  _ is that you live in a big estate far away… at least, that’s what Guanyu and Ying- _ di  _ told her, so she didn’t wonder why you never sent her gifts or anything.”

“I understand and I think that’d be perfect.” Zhao Haoran smiled, “I wrote but I didn’t know if you’d approve. I have the letters still.” It was the truth. He’d written to her everyday. It was like his own personal diary and he’d hoped one day she might write back if he ever mailed one. 

“You should read them to her,” Lei Yu said, touched by the admission. “She’d love to know about you. There was always an air of mystery surrounding you since you did live in a big place  _ far away.  _ She probably thinks you’re a fairytale prince.”

“Of that title I’d be honored.” He chuckled and knew that was probably true. He reached up and messed with his own hair. “And if she wants me too I will read them to her.” 

Lei Yu snorted, unable to stop himself, and reached over again to pull on his hair too. “A prince, or a puppy. Probably both,” he said and started to laugh. It was low and a bit awkward, because he hadn’t laughed in a while, and while it hurt, it felt good too. “Your letters last night made me think of you in a whole different way,” he told him, amused. “What I thought was smooth nobility was actually just a puppy who tends to overthink things. I made a story about you for A-Xiu.”

“Oh? You did? ” Zhao Haoran blushed so brightly that his sister even noticed and started laughing from afar. He turned to her. “Oh be quiet you sandsnake!” 

“What are you going to do about it? Cook an egg for me?” Zhao Aang called back. 

“Cook an egg?” Lei Yu asked, the amusement in his face only growing.

“I….she’s talking about my face and how warm it is.” Zhao Haoran explained, trying to calm down but that soft chuckle the other had let out while they’d been bantering made his heart race. It was a lovely sound. While Zhao Haoran hadn’t courted a lot of people he had the experience to know what he did desire. He could see himself being happy with Lei Yu. That laugh alone told him that and even if they never knew each other intimately he would endeavor to make the man laugh and smile a real smile more. He pushed his previous emotions back and hopefully the other didn’t see it. 

“Ahh, I see,” Lei Yu said and chuckled again, then set the blueprints aside. “And here I thought you had a secret cooking talent, but I will settle for what you do have.” He nudged Zhao Haoran lightly with his arm to remind him of the little fish still in need of completion, then grabbed up his embroidery once more, but pointedly did not move away from him. “You’ve only got about a half hour to make some more of these and give A-Xiu a good first impression.”

“Oh, no. I’m very basic in the kitchen as in I’m the gatherer and someone else cooks.” Zhao Haoran laughed, his focus shifting to the fish. His heart warmed at how the man didn’t move away from him. “Yes, don’t want my future daughter to be disappointed in her gifts.” 

“Exactly,” Lei Yu hummed, warm and fond, and helped him with tying off the thread and folding up a new fish. The quiet that followed was peaceful and easy, far more easy than Lei Yu had imagined it could be, and he was honestly surprised at how fast the time had gone when he heard the all too familiar pattering of tiny shoes running his way. And here he’d thought he’d be counting each minute…

“Baba!” Lei Xiulan launched herself at him. It was only his quick reflexes that saved the embroidery hoop from her knee. The change in him was instant, holding her, and he was smiling wide as she pulled back. “I got to do puzzles!”

“Because Teacher Wu knows you’re so good at them,” he praised, making her preen, and he bounced her a moment before turning his face to Zhao Haoran, which made her attention shift too. “A-Xiu, guess who this is.”

“Who?” she asked, curious, eyes big with wonder. 

“Your Ran- _ shu,”  _ he said and she gasped in excitement, just as he knew she would. “He came here to visit you from his big castle. Can you say hello?”

“Hello! Ran-shu!” she chirped, looking him over. “Can you really talk to snakes? How big is your castle? Can I visit you sometime? Do you like fishes?” She gasped again, seeing the plushes in his lap and practically shrieked in delight. “Fishes!”

“And they are all for you A-Xiu!” Zhao Xiulan laughed at all the questions. He gave them to her easily. Then he gave her the tiger and turtle. “I hope you like these too. To answer your question, sweetheart. I can talk to Aang-gu’s snake Sun He, and you can too. Uh, my estate is six times the size of your home here. I won’t be visiting because I’m going to be living here which me and your baba need to talk to you about if baba wants to tell you now. I love fishes and so does Kuai, my dog, who’s coming too.” 

She was staring at him in awe through all of that, but all she really managed to catch was the end. “A puppy?” she gasped. “A puppy!”

“I’d tell her, but she’s not going to remember anything right now,” Lei Yu chuckled as his daughter wiggled off his lap and ran to Zhao Mei to tell her the news.

“A puppy is coming!” she crowed, all her plushes in hand. “I get to have a puppy!”

“That’s fair. But if you want to tell her. I’d like to be there so you don’t have to be alone.” Zhao Haoran smiled at him. He ran his fingers through his fringe. “And there goes my dog.” He couldn’t help but laugh heartily as he leaned back on his hands watching her with Zhao Mei. 

“Oh, yes and he likes blueberries. So we should make sure to go to the kitchen tomorrow to spoil him during his welcome.” Zhao Mei winked, lifting her up onto her hip as she walked over.

“To be fair, I did warn you,” Lei Yu pointed out and reached for his embroidery. Once the excitement wore off, she’d be ready for lunch, and hopefully a little calmer. “Let’s see how she is during lunch. If she’s still too bouncy, I’ll wait to tell her at dinner,” he said, then paused, realizing he was already assuming the man would be there. “...if you want to have dinner with us? If you’re busy I’ll tell her tomorrow when you’re here.”

“No, I can stay. I planned to spend it here anyways. I will try to spend as much time with you all as possible prior to the wedding. I didn’t want to just ambush you the day of our wedding. You deserve better than that, Lei Yu.” 

He wasn't sure about that, but nodded anyway. “Then would you pass me a black plum?” he asked, nodding to the basket. Lei Xiulan gasped, seeing the fruits, and wiggled in Zhao Mei’s hold.

“Can I have a green one?” she asked with wide eyes. “Please?”

“Of course to the both of you.” Zhao Haoran grinned, feeling good about being helpful. He pulled out two green and one black. He handed the extra green to Zhao Mei because he knew that she liked them too. 

“What do you say, A-Xiu,” Lei Yu said, mostly out of habit. Thankfully, he’d managed to catch his daughter  _ before _ she shoved the fruit into her mouth.

“Thanks you, Ran- _ shu!”  _ she chirped dutifully before biting into the plum with a most pleased smile.

“Yes, thank you, husband,” Lei Yu added, softly, so only the man could hear, then bit into his plum with his own pleased hum. It was ripe and exploded over his tongue. He closed his eyes to savor it in bliss.

“You’re welcome, husband.” Zhao Haoran smiled at him. “It’s my pleasure.” He took a bite of a black plum and hummed at the taste. It dripped a little on his chin. “Really it is.” He stuck his tongue out to catch the juice. When that didn’t work completely he wiped it with his sleeve because these were his thrown on robes that he can be messy in. 

The sight was a new one. Lei Yu watched him curiously, and a bit suspiciously, as he wiped his face with his clothing instead of a handkerchief. “Don’t teach the little one bad manners,” he chided lightly and offered his own kerchief to the man, though of course that would hardly stop his daughter if she felt like it. Thankfully, she was a tidy eater, but she was also a muddy child. He didn’t need the habit forming and spreading mess. “You are a father now, too, and she is  _ always  _ watching.”

“Yes, husband, however, these are as close to play clothes.” Zhao Haoran answered cheekily, wiping his face with the handkerchief even though there was nothing there. “They are meant to be dirty from playing in the sand and mud.”

“And when she comes home extra muddy because  _ someone  _ taught her to wipe her face on her sleeves,  _ you  _ will be the one to clean it up,” Lei Yu said to that, huffing, though he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Yes,  _ sir _ !” Zhao Haoran chuckled, “But then that means teaching her play clothes from important ones. I am up to helping her learn. Kuai knows and he’ll encourage her to do right.” Zhao Haoran teased, getting another plum for Lei Xiulan. 

“Thanks!” she said again, happy to have something else to munch on. Lei Yu sighed, for he’d been about to tell her no, but couldn’t stop her now. 

“No more after that one, A-Xiu. Lunch will be here soon,” he said to both girl and husband to be, and shook his head. “Why do I feel suddenly like I’ve gained another toddler and not a husband?” He asked this mostly of Zhao Mei and stood once he’d gathered his things. There was a table near the pond for eating and already a tea set was waiting for them.

“Puppy with teeth when needed.” Zhao Haoran corrected with a grin and licked up upper teeth before joining in Lei Xiulan’s laughter. He lifted the basket to take it with him after picking up the toys. 

Lei Yu snorted at that and settled himself neatly at the table with Lei Xiulan beside him. He fussed with her hair a bit and felt his heart swell as she continued to eat her plum happily. “How were lessons?” he asked, glad she’d calmed down from the idea of having a puppy. It meant he could talk to her about marrying Zhao Haoran, which he wanted to get over with sooner than later. 

“Good! Teacher Wu taught me how to make lights,” she said proudly and held out a sticky hand. A tiny ball of pink  _ qi  _ danced over her palm after a moment of rather intense looking concentration, though that could have been because she had a full cheek of plum. “See!”

“I do see. Very well done. Baba is proud,” Lei Yu said and she preened, even as he wiped her hand and face. 

“I can teach baba too,” she offered, making him smile. Even so young she was considerate and tried to include everyone, which he hoped she never lost.

“Baba doesn’t have magic like you,” he reminded her and kissed her forehead so she didn’t pout too much. “You’ll have to learn and practice for me, okay?”

“Okay!” she said, and her little ball of light danced around her wrist a moment before vanishing. Then her big eyes were on Zhao Haoran, curious and excited. “Does Ran- _ shu  _ have magic?”

“I do sweetness.” Zhao Haoran answered, watching the two interact and it made his heart warm. He flushed seeing Zhao Mei catching him watching the other two. He raised his hand to the table and greeted a pale golden  _ qi _ ball. Though he normally made his rats.

She clapped. “Pretty!” she said and immediately called her little ball out again. Lei Yu was proud to see it was far easier for her the second time. “Teacher Wu told me I’ll get a wraith someday,” she told Lei Yu with her little nose proudly in the air. “I want a fish!”

“I’m not sure it works like that, but whatever it is, it will be beautiful because it’s yours,” he assured her and kissed her temple as he tucked her into his side, making her giggle in delight.

“It more than likely will be, Lei Yu. It’s what we are drawn to when our core matures. Mine is a rat.” Zhao Haoran let his ball get bigger then a small dumbo rat uncurl and plop on the table. It sniffed the air then crossed the table to start to play with the pink  _ qi _ ball. “A rather cute one I might add.”

“Baby!” Lei Xiulan said immediately, utterly delighted. Lei Yu chuckled as she watched in awe.

“Miss Ju Di has a rat too,” he mused, remembering the woman’s wraith. “Is it usual to have the same sort of wraith? I suppose it would have to be; there’s only so many animals to choose from.”

“We also have compatible cores. If in this life if we dual cultivated, we are a good fit.” Zhao Haoran answered, reaching for a cup of tea. 

“However, it shall never happen, Master Lei.” Zhao Mei inserted pointedly. It was then that Zhao Haoran realized how he made that explanation sound. 

“Oh? Are puppy husbands not to her tastes?” Lei Yu asked, trying for light, though inwardly he cringed. He was coreless, so what did that mean for them? There was no way to tell if they’d be a good match without the traditional  _ trying _ , and that was already a terrifying prospect.

He swallowed and put on a smile, especially since his daughter was watching him, and hoped to turn this into more of a lesson for her. He had no magic, but he did his best to pose questions and talk about it often so she didn’t feel different from him. “Actually, that makes me think. Our gardener has mice wraiths. I wonder if he would also be compatible with you, husband, or to Miss Ju Di?”

Lei Xiulan beamed as he hoped she would. “Oh yes, they’re very cute!” she said to the two Zhaos, wiggling against his side. “They help him plant the seeds, all scurry, scurry! Meep, meep!”

“Nope, unless she happens to be a puppy wife.” Zhao Mei grinned before joining in making mouse squeaks.

“It’s not the wraith that shows compatibility but the person. I wouldn’t be compatible with our gardener or anyone else  _ ever _ .” Zhao Haoran answered, tone playful but he was serious. He wouldn’t cheat on his husband. Nor would he take a concubine. 

Lei Yu looked a tad dubious at that, but nodded, and turned his head once the lunch bell rang from the door, announcing the servants who were bringing the trays of food. He tilted back a bit to look at the sand pit around his daughter and waved over Zhao Aang.

“Miss Pretty, Miss Aang, you are free to join us,” he said and then remembered the snake. “Sun He as well,” he added and asked for a tiny dish of raw chicken pieces to be brought. An odd request, but the serving boy said nothing as he hurried off to do just that.

“Yes, join us!” Lei Xiulan said happily, glad to have a full table of people. She hardly waited for Lei Yu to fix up her bowl before she was starting to eat. “Mm! Baba, it’s good!”

“I’m glad,” he said softly, kissing the top of her head, and smiled at the boy that came back with the chicken cuts. They were small, he was pleased to note, and handed the bowl to Zhao Aang. “For Sun He,” he explained. “If he wishes to eat with us too.”

“Thank you.” Zhao Aang thanked him as she accepted the bowl then helped Sun He unwrap from her neck to join the table.

Zhao Haoran held in his sadness at that look Lei Yu gave him. However, he knew that it was more about Madam Shu and Shen Guanyu’s treatment than about his actual person. Lei Yu and he hadn’t had that conversation. He doubted that they would anytime soon. It was something else he’d have to prove. Zhao Haoran followed along the conversation but keeping quiet just enjoying the moment. He poured Lei Yu some tea when he ran low and laughed along Lei Xiulan’s laughter as Zhao Aang’s wraith was a scorpion and she explained that her’s is not poisonous but real were ones are; that she shouldn’t try to play with real ones. 

Lei Xiulan nodded seriously before curiously looking up at her father. “Baba? What would you have?” she asked around a bite of carrot.

Lei Yu considered that. He didn’t know what went into them, really, only that it was something that called to the spirit. “A swan,” he decided and squished her close to him, much like a father swan tucking its young under its wing. “And you are my little cygnet.”

She giggled happily at that and nestled in close, content. “Cygnet,” she repeated, then looked back up at him. “What’s that?”

“A baby swan,” he said, trying not to laugh at her genuine curiosity. “Father swan and daughter swan.”

“Cute.” Zhao Mei praised him for the choice. 

“Yes, they would be.” Zhao Haoran commented, then moved to get himself some sugar for his tea. He normally didn’t do it but he felt his sweet tooth coming to him. However, his mind was over thinking the situation which of course made him stressed. He was about to grab the cube and Zhao Aang patted his hand. “What?”

“There’s peach cakes.” Zhao Aang said, gaze narrowing. She knew his sweet tooth was tied to his emotions and while he was smiling and laughing she could see his brain working itself. If he had the cake instead of the tea then he’d have something a bit more accountable. It was odd but it was his brain that set this standard. He’d stop after the cake.

“I...fine.” Zhao Haoran sighed, reaching for a peach cake near Lei Yu’s plates. 

Lei Yu watched the exchange with critical eyes. “Is there something wrong with the tea?” he asked, not sure what to make of him trading tea for cake.

“The tea is fine. It was the sugar cubes. I have quite the sweet tooth is all.” Zhao Haoran smiled at him and took a bite of the cake. It was showy but what could he do when all eyes but Sun He’s were on him. “Does A-Xiu like peach cakes?”

“Yes!” she said with great enthusiasm. “They’re my favorite!”

“All sweets are her favorite,” Lei Yu chuckled, though his eyes were still intent on Zhao Haoran, watching him more closely. “Just wait for the persimmon cakes.”

“‘Simmons!” she chirped immediately and Lei Yu gave Zhao Haoran a look as if to say,  _ see? _ “I love persimmons!”

“They are mine too A-Xiu.” Zhao Haoran preened with her. He offered her a bright smile. “Persimmon pies are the best.” 

“That’s why your shushu has to train so much. So he doesn’t turn into a piglet.” Zhao Aang joked then shifted her gaze to Lei Yu then Lei Xiulan. “You’ll get to see him fall a lot.” A proud grin on her face, because she was the one besides Zhao Ju Di to have him working out hard this week, because the man was probably going to be so stressed during the wedding and afterwards. “Except during his morning stretches and runs.”

“Is that what happened to your face, Ran- _ shu?”  _ Lei Xiulan asked, patting her own cheek in sympathy. “Did you fall down?”

“After I was struck with a foot. Teacher En-funh is trained in wushu. I forgot to watch out for the ending kick.” Zhao Haoran said, soothingly. “It’s fine really. In the morning it will barely be there and at the end of the week it will be gone.”

“Do you need kisses better?” Lei Xiulan asked him, worried as only a little child could be. “Baba gives good kisses better.”

“Oh, but they are all for you.  _ Baba _ ’s healing is just for you, sweetness.” Zhao Haoran winked at her. “It wouldn’t work on me.” He didn’t want Lei Yu to be forced to do something he wasn’t comfortable doing and it made him a bit more anxious. Zhao Haoran took another sip of his tea. 

“But you are family,” she said and looked to her father for confirmation.

“You’re right,” Lei Yu folded, chuckling softly at her determined face. “He got a kiss better from someone else. Otherwise, baba would.”

She seemed content with that answer and nodded, pleased as pie. “Kisses better are for family,” she told Zhao Haoran like he was a student and she was the wise sage of a teacher. “Kisses better  _ always  _ work for family.”

“Always,” Lei Yu echoed and nodded at Zhao Haoran to show it was alright to agree.

“Yes, they are.” Zhao Haoran nodded, the anxious feel subsiding a bit. Though he hadn’t let anyone help him. He’d just let his core do it’s business. He messed with his fringe a little and drank more of the tea then took another bite of his cake. 

“Family care is powerful. You make sure to take care of you  _ baba _ .” Zhao Aang said, gently petting her snake as he ate the last of the chicken.

“I will always take care of baba,” Lei Xiulan sat up straight and proud, though it didn’t last long as it finally registered to her that there was a live snake there. She gasped. “A baby!”

“I don’t think Sun He is a baby snake,” Lei Yu chuckled at her. “He is grown.”

“He’s  _ so  _ pretty!” she gushed and reached her hand out. “Can I pet him? What kind of snake is he? Is he yours? What does he eat? Does he live in the garden?”

“He isn’t a baby but likes to be babied. “ Zhao Aang responded to Lei Yu, then focused on Lei Xiulan. “You can pet him anytime. He won’t bite and he is. He eats chicken and mice. He doesn’t live in the garden. He lives in my rooms. He likes to cuddle a lot.”

“His name is Sun He,” Lei Yu said again to his daughter so she could at least address the poor cursed man properly.

“Sun He,” she echoed and tickled the snake under his chin. “You are so pretty! Do you want to be friends?” The snake's answer was to curl around her little wrist hissing happily at the affection. 

“That’s a yes, now you have to be honest if he’s too tight. He’ll get upset if you aren’t and he won’t let you wear him or cuddle.” Zhao Aang said with a reaffirming nod. 

“Not tight,” Lei Xiulan promised and seemed even more pleased to have the snake contently curled there. She pet him in awe, lost in her own world, and Lei Yu felt his heart clench painfully with just how much he loved her.

“Thank you, Sun He,” he murmured to the snake and reached for his tea. He realized, belatedly, that he hadn’t really been eating, so took another plum from the basket to savor. 

Zhao Haoran had noticed though. He would broach that subject with the man alone and not in front of others. He witnessed at the estate once when there was one of the trainees that had done the same thing. The man had gotten so angry at being confronted in front of an audience. He didn’t want the same with Lei Yu. Zhao Haoran wasn’t going to control the man’s weight. He just wanted him to be healthy. 

“Would you like some more tea?” Zhao Haoran offered his soon to be husband.

Lei Yu blinked but nodded, a small smile on his face. “Thank you, husband,” he murmured, then gently bounced his daughter a bit, pulling her from her gushing. “Little fish, baba needs to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” she said readily, no hint of fear on her face. For that he was immensely proud. He’d seen the fear in both Shen Guanyu and Shen Guanying’s faces when their mother echoed the same words. He would never be that parent. 

He moved her onto his lap, making her giggle at being held. “What do you think of your Ran- _ shu?  _ Do you like him?”

“Yes!” she said happily enough, which was a good sign. She beamed over at Zhao Haoran. “He lives in a  _ big  _ castle, baba, and he said I could go visit!”

Lei Yu had to chuckle. Ah, the priorities of a five year old. “What would you say to your Ran- _ shu  _ moving here?” he asked next and watched her eyes go huge. “With us?”

“Really?” she said, hopeful, and wiggled more in his hold. “Really, Ran- _ shu?  _ You’re staying?”

“I’d like to live here with you and your  _ baba _ if that’s okay.” Zhao Haoran answered, pouring Lei Yu some tea before giving him focus. 

Lei Xiulan cheered, which was answer enough. Lei Yu smiled and kissed her forehead for some courage, then pulled back to look her in the eye.

“There is more,” he said and she focused again, hanging off his every word. “Your Ran- _ shu  _ wants to marry me. Be my husband. What do you think?”

There were two possible ways she’d react, he felt: instantly giddy, or she would actually think about it. To his surprise, it was the latter, and she grew deathly serious at his words, looking over at Zhao Haoran with a far more wise eye than any five year old should really have.

It was a long time - well, a long time for her - before she spoke again, a little glare on her face. “Baba is sad all the time,” she told Zhao Haoran. “He doesn’t think I see, but I see. Madam and Yu- _ ba,  _ they made him sad. I don’t want my baba to be sad anymore.”

She sat up straight then, like the little lady she was, and pinned Zhao Haoran with a look that even a warlord would be impressed with. “You marry baba, you can’t make him sad. Pinkie promise.” With the finality of something very grave and serious, she held up her pinkie finger. “ _ Swears  _ on the pinkie. No more sad or you  _ die.” _

Zhao Haoran smiled fondly at her as he listened and then watched her for a moment as he collected his thoughts. “I can’t promise that. What I can promise is this, “ He leaned up on the table and wrapped his pinkie around hers, “is that if I make your baba sad that I will always make it up to him and apologize. Your baba is a good man and deserves to be the most happy.”

She finally smiled at that and shook their joined hands. “Okay,” she agreed, once more content, and looked up at her father. 

Lei Yu was feeling many things at once. Pride and love for his daughter for being so brave and speaking her mind. Guilt, because she had seen his pain enough to worry. Shame, because he hadn’t realized how much she’d seen. Embarrassment, because of Zhao Haoran’s earnestness. Disbelief, worry, and a growing fear he couldn’t rationalize or explain, nor could he understand the way his heart was aching with something like longing. He closed his eyes to breathe in a shuddering breath, for that all had hit a little too close to home, and didn’t look at anyone until he felt a soft tug on his robe.

“Baba? I have a question, please,” Lei Xiulan said and patted his cheek as though she could sense the urge he felt to cry.

“I… I have an answer,” he said, grateful his voice wasn’t shaking as badly as his insides were. “What is it, my little fish?”

She pouted a bit with how hard she thought on her question, as though she’d truly baffled herself. “Does that make Ran- _ shu  _ my baba now too? Or is it just  _ shushu?” _

The silence that fell over the table was a little telling. Lei Yu was at least grateful he wasn’t the only one that hadn’t thought about that. “Uh… You’d have to ask him.”

“Okay!” She turned her big eyes on Zhao Haoran, and Lei Yu almost felt sorry for shoving the conundrum so quickly onto the man. “Ran- _ shu?  _ What do I call you now?”

“I think that Ran-shu is fine and when you feel that I’ve earned Ran-die then you can call me that. How does that sound?” Zhao Haoran responded, feeling his heart pull at her question. He’d never thought she would have even considered him like that. He’d be forever an uncle to her. He looked at Lei Yu and knew that this was getting heavy for him. He felt that the man was probably as overwhelmed as him. This was a lot to take on right away.

“Okay,” she agreed, easy as pie, and turned her attention happily back to Sun He, then to the two Zhao ladies smiling at them. “Pretties? Can we go play?” she asked, then looked at her father with hopeful eyes. “I’m done eating. May I go play hide and seek, please?”

“Of course,” Lei Yu said, not about to deny her playtime for anything. He kissed her cheek and let her go. “Just make sure the ladies  _ want  _ to play first. Don’t boss them.”

“I won’t,” she said and her beaming smile landed on Zhao Mei and Zhao Aang. “Do you want to play hide and seek? I can teach you! I’m very good at hiding!”

“I love hide and seek! I can count first.” Zhao Mei beamed and Zhao Aang nodded along with her. They’d leave the two of them alone to talk or not talk, whatever it is that the men needed. 

Once they were gone, Zhao Haoran let out a shaky breath and covered his eyes with the palms of his hands for a moment. That was a hefty promise he’d made and he would honor it. It’s just that he’d taken control of this family and there were a lot of wrongs that needed to be fixed. But he would get through them and hopefully with Lei Yu by his side. His rat wraith came back to him and papped at his hand before he let it fade away. He took another deep breath and lowered his hands.

“I don’t regret making this choice to be the head of this family no matter how many times you see me do that.” Zhao Haoran chuckled thinking of Lei Xiulan’s determined face. “And I am going to have a fierce daughter. You’ve raised her well.”

“She is the only thing in this life I have done right,” Lei Yu agreed, watching his daughter hide behind a bush while whispering to Sun He, no doubt “teaching” him the game. His smile was small, but real, and all of his face softened with it. “You’ll regret taking this home,” he said then, assured of that, his dark eyes flicking over the man’s exhausted expression. “It will wear you thin. I have seen it happen to many good people in this place. I just hope my daughter… and even I, perhaps, will be your haven. That we will not be part of that regret. If that is all I can give to you in exchange for everything you’ve done for my daughter… well, husband, I will give it.”

“Please do not think harshly of me but I think the only thing I might regret from this is not killing  _ her _ immediately. But I don’t want to be her or have you or A-Xiu think of me that way. I too hope that I might be a haven to you both. I know I can handle the business side because that isn’t an issue. I’ve done that within my own family for the floral shops on the upper side of town.” Zhao Haoran stated, truthfully. He was just worried about their family life the most. 

Lei Yu’s smile was a bit more somber, but he nodded anyway, hoping the man’s confidence was well placed. “I don't think harshly of you,” he said softly and looked down at his teacup, worrying it between his hands. “You’re speaking to a man that keeps a knife in his nightstand because of  _ her…  _ I am not proud of it, but a year ago I almost used that knife on myself. But i… i couldn’t be that selfish, so I am still alive.”

He glanced back out at the garden, to his giggling daughter, and his smile was heartbreaking, full of pain, but also so much love he seemed to glow with it. “It’s still in my nightstand, but I couldn’t do that to my daughter. I still can't. Madam Shu pushed me that far, but I’m hanging on, somehow.”

And that strength was there in his gaze when he met Zhao Haoran’s eye again and, with a smile, tugged on a piece of the man’s hair. “A-Xiu makes me strong. In time, you will feel it too, the strength that being a father gives you. It makes you do the impossible.”

Zhao Haoran would have liked to hold onto his hand and just lean into the touch but he couldn’t. It was a simple thing he’d have done with one of the others but he’d told Lei Yu that he wouldn’t do anything without asking. So he didn’t move as the other took his hand away. He smiled, softly. “I am sure that it will. Thank you and perhaps that I too may give you something that benefits you just as well.”

“Maybe,” Lei Yu said, not sure what that would be, but accepting it anyway. He turned his head once more to the ladies running around the garden after his daughter and smiled, then slowly found his feet so he could collect all the toys and set them back into the basket. As he did so, he found himself watching Zhao Haoran, the tiredness in his handsome face, the smile on his full lips, and a small desire rose in him. The desire for quiet, as well as curiosity of what it would be like to share it with this man who was to be his husband. He wondered if he could.

Only one way to find out.

“Husband,” he said and offered him a hand to help him stand. “Perhaps you would indulge me a moment?”

“Of course.” Zhao Haoran said, standing up. He didn’t know what to make of the look on the other man’s face. He just knew that it made him curious. He tidied his robes. “Lead the way if there is anywhere to go.”

“Just back to the tree. I think we both need a little quiet after that talk,” Lei Yu said and led the way back to where he’d be sitting when the man had arrived. He retook his place and his embroidery, though stopped the man before he sat too. “You look tired,” he mused and patted his lap before he could talk himself out of it. “Lay here, with me. I want to see how it feels to have you in my space, and you can get a nap in. You look like you need one.”

“Alright…” Zhao Haoran responded, because it was true that he was tired. Sleeping was harder when you had things to worry about more than yourself. He sat down and took the ribbon from his hair to wrap around his wrist. It was something he’d done since he was a child. “...but if I make you uncomfortable. You’ll tell me right?”

There was something about seeing his ribbon around Zhao Haoran’s wrist that he… really liked. Oddly. “I promise,” Lei Yu said and patted his lap again. “Relax with me. If we are to be each other’s haven, we should be able to do this for one another at the very least.”

“That is true and I am going to be honest. I might end up hugging you. It’s weird but I’ve done that since I was born.  _ Mama _ says it’s cute but you might not be ready for it.” Zhao Haoran tried to prepare the man but the truth is that he felt comfortable as he laid his head on the man’s thigh. The stress started to slip just from laying down and the prospect of resting.

“I…” Lei Yu shifted a bit, getting more comfortable and adjusting to the feel of the man pressing against him. It was a new feeling, for he hadn’t done this with someone before, save his daughter, but once his leg took the weight, he felt… well,  _ fine _ . Which surprised him. His body was still sore from Madam Shu’s attentions, and usually that meant he was more on guard. But then again, he’d asked for this. It’d been his choice. Could it really make that big of a difference?

He pulled over his embroidery and began where he left off with it, grateful to have something else to focus on rather than the man’s surprisingly sweet face. “Thank you for the warning. If it’s too much, I’ll wake you. Now relax and rest.”

“Alright.” Zhao Haoran responded, moving around. He was laying with his head on Lei Yu’s thigh while his left leg was curved with his right pointed straight out. Instead of being full on his side it was like he was almost on his stomach but not quite there. Not soon a hand moved up to right beside his face on Lei Yu’s thigh. It didn’t move after that. Zhao Haoran let out a soft snore as he fell asleep.

As the time ticked by, Lei Yu was mildly concerned with himself that he had not felt the need to push the man away. He’d thought he’d want nothing to do with being touched, even so innocently, and there was a moment when the man did in fact turn in his sleep and hug his middle that he froze. But beyond the initial panic and stress, he found he could tolerate it. More than tolerate it. 

He supposed he should be grateful he wasn’t currently throwing his husband across the garden in an effort to get away from him. And it wasn’t as though Zhao Haoran was touching him inappropriately. He had warned Lei Yu, after all, and there was something almost endearing seeing the man’s nose slightly crooked where it was pressed to his side. He almost wanted to play with Zhao Haoran’s hair but refrained, and urged himself to relax.

The quiet came to an abrupt end, as it usually did, at the hands of his daughter, who declared she was now tired and waddled over to them. Taking a good look at Zhao Haoran in his lap, Lei Yu could see her working through her options before, to his amusement, she decided to just flop.

Right on top of Zhao Haoran.

“Ran- _ shu,  _ share baba,” she chided tiredly, fluffing up the man’s hair the way Lei Yu had been too scared to. “Ran- _ shuuuuuu.” _

Zhao Haoran was sleeping deepily and hadn’t initially felt the flop. Though the fluffing of his hair made his brain think it was Kuai. “I can’t share, Kuai..my pillow.” Zhao Haoran slurred in his sleep. He wiggled trying to get his dog to stop wiggling and messing with his hair. Wait...no. That was nice at first.

“Ran- _ shu,”  _ Lei Xiulan huffed, but eventually just yawned and settled on him, getting cozy as only a truly happy and tired child could. “Ran- _ shu  _ is  _ my  _ pillow then,” she declared, her fingers still lightly petting his hair.

“My pillow.” Zhao Haoran mirrored before falling asleep with a loud snore. He’d fallen asleep with Kuai and his mother’s cat also loafing on his back. He rubbed his face again in Lei Yu’s stomach.

“Oh this is going to be so much fun.” Zhao Mei whispered and held back her giggling as she shared a look with Zhao Aang.

Lei Yu just sighed, resigned to being a pillow, and realized he was smiling. “Have at him, ladies,” was all he said to that, and smiled to see Sun He back on Zhao Aang’s wrist. Hopefully he hadn’t been waved around too much by an excited Lei Xiulan. “Do either of you have the time?”

“The bells went off at shen, so maybe a little after that.” Zhao Aang answered, peering down at Zhao Haoran. 

“Dinner will be served in an hour or so. Would you like for young mistress to go inside to get ready for dinner?” Zhao Mei asked Lei Yu and giggled when Zhao Haoran snored again. 

“Let them rest a little more,” Lei Yu decided, glad his daughter had played so hard. He offered both women, as well as the snake, a smile of gratitude. “Thank you for playing with her. She hasn’t had this many playmates in a while.”

“We were happy to do it.” Zhao Mei smiled, warmly back at him. “And you will see it more often. We are good at that game and others. Oh,...” Zhao Mei looked over her shoulder at the table. “...we need to get that cleaned up. While we do that if you want him to wake gently rub his ear. It’s his  _ mama _ ’s secret way.” 

At that Zhao Aang and Zhao Mei went to clean up their lunch so that when Lei Yu, Lei Xiulan, and Zhao Haoran wanted to leave the garden they could. “We will be back.” Zhao Aang stated, following after her friend.

Lei Yu sighed a bit, but eventually just returned to embroidering, though more than once his eyes were drawn down to the feeling of Zhao Haoran nuzzling in and his daughter’s echoing snore. It’d be a short nap for her, which would carry her to dinner and a bath. He had a feeling she’d be sleeping deeply tonight.

Once the table outside was cleared off, Lei Yu set his embroidery aside to wake his daughter. He bypassed Zhao Haoran altogether, not feeling that brave, and chuckled at the wide yawn he got. “Little fish, time to get up.”

“Do i have to?” she asked, rubbing her eye.

“Dinner will be soon. You don’t want to fall asleep during dinner, do you?” he smiled and continued to rub her back until she started wiggling.

“O- _ kay,”  _ she huffed, a bit unwilling still, but she was sliding off Zhao Haoran soon enough. “Ran- _ shu,  _ time to get up!”

“I’m up, I’m up.” Zhao Haoran slurred, sitting up abruptly. He rolled away and caught himself. His eyes were still not open yet. “I’m….” Zhao Haoran rubbed his head feeling how his hair was now a wild mess. He took off the ribbon and tossed it up in a messy ponytail. Zhao Haoran licked his lips and finally opened his eyes as he rolled his shoulders to shake off his stiffness that he didn’t understand. 

“Sleep well?” Lei Yu asked, watching him closely. “You were snoring pretty hard.”

“I don’t snore.” Zhao Haoran huffed, feeling more refreshed than he had when he originally woke this morning. Which meant that Lei Yu had been right about him being tired. So the sleep was very much needed.

“So this drool spot on my stomach is, what?” Lei Yu countered, amused at the blush that took over the man’s face.

“Ran- _ shu,  _ you snored,” Lei Xiulan tattled, giggling at his wavy hair. She patted the poofy tail of it. “Snored like a  _ bear.” _

“I don’t see a spot.” Zhao Haorun flushed, brightly as he looked away from the obvious drool spot. He shook his hair playfully not minding Lie Xiulan playing with his hair. “And maybe there was a bear around?”

“I see a bear!” Lei Xiulan said, giggling, before pouncing on his back and doing her best to roar like a bear, though she’d never before seen one. “Rawr!”

“You’ve caught quite the bear,” Lei Yu agreed and chuckled the sight. “A big, baby bear.”

“No, no a fierce bear.” Zhao Haoran laughed as he let her rough house with him. He made a roar that was close to what he knew was a bear. “A fierce bear that leads his cub and baba bear to get ready for dinner. What do we do before dinner? I wonder... after play?”

“I know!” she said, eager as always. “We wash our hands and toes! Baba says I can play as long as I clean up afterwards. No mud in the house!”

“And that goes for both baby bears and papa bears,” Lei Yu smiled at them, his heart aching again seeing how easily she’d accepted him. He wished, for a moment, he had her ability to trust so blindly, but then he dismissed it. For her to love so easily meant he had to be the one far more protective of his heart. To let only approved people close. And yes, Zhao Haoran was still a wildcard, but he was  _ trying.  _ Trying more than anyone else had before, and while Lei Yu still didn’t trust it, he could see the honest fondness growing in Zhao Haoran’s eyes for his daughter. That was all that mattered.

He found his feet with only a slight wince and lifted the basket, rifling through it for the tiger toy, as well as the turtle. He handed them to his beaming daughter. “You and Miss Pretty go clean up for dinner and introduce your new tiger and turtle to the other animals.”

“Yes!” Lei Xiulan said, excited by the very idea, and with a swift hug to his leg hurried off to Zhao Mei with her toys clutched to her chest.

Lei Yu offered the man a hand up. “Do you have a room ready for you yet?” he asked, though he doubted it. The man had come from the Zhao manor and retreated back there last night. “If not, you can wash up in mine.”

“I do not. I was waiting for our rooms.” Zhao Haoran yawned, then stood up himself. He took the basket though because he didn’t miss the wince in the other’s movements. “Thank you for the offer and also for letting me rest despite you not feeling well either. If you would like to nap like that anytime with me you are free to do so.”

“I will consider that, thank you, husband,” Lei Yu said and found that he actually meant that. He doubted he’d ever do it, but it didn’t harm anything to give it some thought. “And i am feeling fine… well, as fine as I usually feel. This is not good to say, and I know that, but after three years of the same pain, you reach a point when you learn to live with it. It was no trouble,” he promised and gestured for Zhao Haoran to follow him up a path to the porch of his rooms. He slid the door open for him. “Wash room is to the left,” he said and moved to his dresser for the water bowl always left out for him to clean up with.

“I’m sorry that you’ve had to endure what you did for the past three years.” Zhao Haoran didn’t know what to say. At the moment he didn’t feel like him promising not to do that would help and he already knew the man had to be tired of him saying it. He didn’t understand the pain that Lei Yu had gone through. Because training pain isn’t being assaulted or abused. Zhao Haoran swallowed and then walked in the direction that Lei Yu instructed. He stopped before going into the room. “...thank you for letting me rest and use your rooms.”

Lei Yu looked over at him, lit by sunlight and his eyes dark in the shadows of his face. “You’re welcome,” he said softly and offered a little smile. “And there’s no need to be sorry. Just be different than her. That’s all I want.”

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Zhao Haoran responded before going into the bathing room. There he took another and washed his face and hands thoroughly. He was determined now to make sure they had a good life. That woman would only be in their life long enough to be sent away and never heard of again. 

Lei Yu took his time washing his hands and sat to wipe his feet, then took a moment to comb through his hair. He left it unbound, then took a deep breath before stepping in front of the mirror.

Like he’d trained them, his eyes fell solely on his clothing and he refused to look up. It allowed him to see the little drool stain that was almost completely dry. He considered not changing, but then thought better of it, and with relief moved away from his reflection.

Of course, his outer robe was still falling down his back when Zhao Haoran stepped back in, looking refreshed with a braid. It wasn’t like he’d walked in on Lei Yu naked, but something about it felt intimate, especially when he could feel the way the man’s eyes tracked the way his robe fell down his hips to the floor. Calmly, Lei Yu stepped free and turned to watch him, raising an eyebrow at him when he just stood there.

“You have water on your collar,” he noticed, and it was a tiny prickle of amusement to cut through the nerves suddenly building in him. So many times he’d so innocently changed, just like this, only to be forced to strip and lay on a bed. All he knew of the man, all his promises and kindness, clashed in his heart with all he feared, and it made him a bit dizzy. He turned away and gripped the bedpost for stability. “Perhaps you can help me, husband, since you are the reason I need to change?” 

He kept his voice as light as he could, but knew there was a shake in it. Determined to ignore it, he moved to his wardrobe and opened it. “Which color should I wear for dinner?”

It took Zhao Haoran a moment before he could think. He hoped the look of horror wasn’t on his face. The man he was about to marry was covered in various bruises, young and old along with scars that he could see through the thin gauzy inner layer. Any intimate thoughts he’d had about the man vanished and he’d not dare to think about them till the man was healed, not just of the body. 

“Your complexion right now is cool. So perhaps warmer colors like that red-orange and gold robes. If you prefer simpler those light brown robes would be nice.” Zhao Haoran suggested, clearing his throat and went to pick up the discarded robes just out of habit of keeping spaces clean at home. 

Lei Yu took in the choices and went with the brown robes, because they were his favorite color and a sort of safety robe that only he wore at home. Madam Shu never wanted him in browns. She preferred purples, reds, blues, and imperial greens. Just part of the debasing fantasy.

He tucked into his robes and smoothed his sash, then turned to face him. He blinked to see the man picking up his robes and barked a surprised laugh, which startled him. Blushing, he covered his face with his sleeve. “You don’t need to do that,” he murmured. “Just put it on the bed. I’ll take care of it.”

“Husband, I don’t mind. It’s something small I can do for you.” Zhao Haoran reassured him and was glad to have earned that laugh even if it was at his expense. He put the robes in the baskets of other soiled robes that he found. Zhao Haoran turned with a smile on his face. “Those suit you well.” 

“Thank you, they’re my favorite,” Lei Yu said before he could help it and, still blushing, twirled a little circle just to feel his robes move against his body. It was a foolish magic to believe in, but he always felt safe in these robes, and not even Zhao Haoran’s presence could shake that. He composed himself, feeling a bit silly, and offered his arm to his husband to be, mostly to see what the man would do. Usually, if anyone was on someone’s arm, it was himself, or Madam Shu using him as a prop. It was slightly amusing to him that he was, in fact, taller than Zhao Haoran by a few inches, which seemed almost backwards to him. Surely the man with such a big personality and standing would be taller? “Shall we have dinner then, husband? If we’re not there soon, we’ll have a very insistent little fish pulling us along.”

“You’re welcome and don’t mind if I do.” Zhao Haoran easily approached, taking the offered arm. He didn’t mind being led by his soon to be husband. The man didn’t know this yet but while he commanded in his public and business life, he had no issue deferring to his lover in his personal one. He smiled warmly at him. “There is supposed to be some fish tonight. I hope our little one doesn’t mind.” 

“She likes fish in all capacities,” Lei Yu assured him, feeling his ears go warm at that smile. He walked them elegantly back to the garden table, where the servants were starting to put out the food. He went to the seat he’d had before and sat down with hardly a second to spare.

Lie Xiulan was hurrying over from the engawa, pink dress fluttering as she ran. The tiger and turtle were still in her arms, though by her bare feet Lei Yu knew she’d at least stood still enough to be cleaned off.

“Baba! Ran- _ shu!”  _ she said happily, plopping down beside Lei Yu with a contented face. It was only then that he noticed the black scales of a snake loosely around her neck and under the first layer of her dress. She didn’t seem to care that Sun He was snuggled in and held up her plushies. 

“Did you introduce them to everyone?” Lei Yu asked, knowing this routine.

“Yes!” she said happily and waved the tiger, then the turtle. “This is Spots! And this is Beans!”

Lei Yu never could understand where she pulled her names from, but it was charming enough he just smiled and nodded along. “Fine names for fine beasts,” he praised, making her preen.

“I like the names too. I had a cat named dog when I was your age.” Zhao Haoran chuckled at her amusement. He knew that Sun He was safe with her and how funny it must have been to be kidnapped from his heated spot. “I see that you’ve gotten a friend to join you for dinner.” 

“Yesss,” she said with a wiggle and looked down at the snake. “He-He likes being warm!”

“Just like the garden snakes that sleep on the rocks,” Lei Yu agreed, gently turning it into a lesson. “Snakes need the warmth. If they’re too cold, they can’t move.”

She soaked that in with wide eyes, then nodded and gently patted the snake. “Don’t worry, He-He, Xiu-Xiu will keep you warm!”

_ War-mm _ .  _ Friend’s He-He.  _ Sun He hissed. He adjusted himself on Lei Xiulan’s shoulders. 

The snake hissed happily and Zhao Haoran giggled, leaning into Lei Yu. “He has adopted her already.” Zhao Haoran grinned as he playfully squeezed his arm. 

Lei Yu stiffened a bit, not expecting the proximity, but smiled anyway, hoping it wasn’t too crooked. “Are you sure it’s not the other way around?” he mused, watching his daughter coo at the snake. “I’m assuming she can hear him because she has a core?”

“Yes and his speech is off talking back due to his snake body but he understands us just fine. So, if she talks simply or with yes or no questions, He can answer her.” Zhao Haoran answered, and noticed the small crook and leaned back. He didn’t mean to get into the man’s space but it was a habit with his friends and family. “Though he is more active with his body on emotions and what he can smell off you.”

“That makes sense,” Lei Yu mused. And it did. He couldn’t hear the snake whatsoever. “Makes me wonder… our gardener can hear plants and animals with his core. I wonder how clearly he’d hear Sun He?”

“Since he has a core I am sure that he can hear him well. It’s easier to understand him if you’re good with animals and plants. His curse is…” Zhao Haoran started but stopped to hear the snake hiss. 

_ Shhhhh _ . Sun He hissed, lifting his head.

“He wants me to stop. So I will.” Zhao Haoran sheepishly rubbed his head. “I’ll tell you after he says it’s ok but know that A-XIu is safe.” 

“It’s no matter. His business is his own. I was honestly just curious if Mister Wu’s gift would help him understand since he’d be able to hear through both his gift and his core,” Lei Yu said then quieted as the bell rang for the bringing of the food. He set about pouring tea for everyone and waved over Zhao Mei and Zhao Aang again to join them.

“Mister Wu makes mices!” Liu Xiulan said happily to Sun He as Lei Yu fixed her plate. “Meep, meep!”

“Meep, meep,” Lei Yu echoed, just to make her giggle, and set the plate down. “Make sure you eat your vegetables, then you can have sweet rolls.”

“Yes! Okay, baba!” she cheered and dug happily into her rice and vegetables.

Zhao Haoran chuckled and loved the feeling of warmth from having dinner together. He nodded in gratitude for the cup of tea and scooted the sliced pears towards Lei Yu when he noticed the man eating more fruit than anything. “Do you like cinnamon?” Zhao Haoran asked his betrothed, curious.

“I do,” Lei Yu said, soft at the offering of fruit. Once more, he hadn’t quite made a plate for himself, more focused on making sure everyone else had food and tea. “I like them on apple slices.”

“Yes!” Lei Xiulan gasped, full cheeked. “They’re my favorite!”

Lei Yu chuckled at that and wiped a stray rice on her chin, then looked at Zhao Haoran in amusement. “I told you, every sweet is her favorite.”

“In honor of Beans and a new friend, Zhao Tai Sun is coming tomorrow. Maybe we can make some edible Beans.” Zhao Haoran winked at Lei Yu. Because it would be something fun that they can do together but also see how well the three of them work on a project. It wouldn’t take long and it was okay to be messy when making them.

“Yess!” she cheered again, nearly dropping her spoon. Lei Yu carefully readjusted her hold on it and she beamed, even more rice stuck to her lips. He sighed at the sight, fond and full of love.

“What do you say, A-Xiu?” he murmured.

“Thank you, Ran- _ shu!”  _ she said, wiggling in place.

“You’re welcome, sweetness. But to be able to do that you have to be on your best behavior for  _ baba _ . Okay?” Zhao Haoran responded, glad that the little girl and Lei Yu both looked like they would be alright with doing it. He added some rice balls onto Lei Yu’s plate when the man was preoccupied with his daughter. He’d done it a few times and he couldn’t help but smile as Lei Yu seemed not to notice as he ate.

“I’m always good,” she huffed, sitting primly. “Baba says I’m the best!”

“You’re the best,” he agreed and guided her spoon back to her bowl. “We will still behave for a new friend.”

“Yes, baba,” she said immediately and ate another spoonful. “Best behaved for friends!”

Lei Yu samiled at that and turned to his own food, surprised to find his rice balls seemed to be a bit infinite. He gave Zhao Haoran a look and sighed at the smile he got in return. “Do  _ you _ like cinnamon, husband?” he asked, turning the question back on the man as he obediently ate.

“Yes, very much so. I am not one from bland food unless I am sick.” Zhao Haoran answered, feeling good that he’d gotten the man to eat. He wiggled a bit in his seat and went to eat a nice chunk of pear that didn’t have the cinnamon on it. “What is  _ your _ favorite thing to eat?”

Lei Yu paused at the question, honestly not sure. He liked naturally sweet things over artificially sweet, like fruits. He knew he preferred red meat over white, and that too much ginger made his mouth hurt. But otherwise…

“I don’t know?” he admitted. “My diet has either been controlled or I was in situations where it was better to just be grateful to be eating than not. I haven’t had a variety… but I do like plums,” he said, not wanting to seem  _ that  _ tragic and pathetic. “And pears. I’d rather eat fruit over cakes. Too much sweetness gives me a headache.”

“I like chicken!” Lei Xiulan said, stirring her rice with an adorable look of concentration. “Chicken soup!”

“I like chicken and catfish. Are you a catfish?” Zhao Haoran asked her, clicking his chopsticks happily. Her laughter at the question made him laugh hard and honestly he struggled to stop. It’d been so long since he laughed this hard. He sat his chopsticks down before he laid back holding his stomach.

The laugh was loud, and while Lei Yu flinched initially, he found himself staring at the man. It seemed to come out of his entire body, the way he cackled, and though Lei Yu knew it was only his imagination, Zhao Haoran downright  _ glowed  _ with it, enough so that he felt his mouth go dry and an odd feeling pitter-patter into his heart. He swallowed thickly and blinked down at his plate, wondering if this was what a heart attack felt like.

“Ran- _ shu  _ is silly!” Lei Xiulan giggled, her cheeks so lifted that her eyes were almost completely squished shut. 

“The...silliest.” Zhao Haoran cackled, breathily. He noticed Lei Yu’s reaction and tried to stop. Zhao Haoran sat up and wiped his brow from laughing so hard. “But am I right? Baba calls you his little fish. So are you?” He snorted and Zhao Aang rolled her eyes with Zhao Mei. Though Zhao Mei’s hand was up covering her own lips.

“Not a catfish, Ran- _ shu,”  _ Lei Xiulan told him and spread her arms wide, sending a glob of rice straight at Lei Yu’s face. “A dragon-fish!”

“A messy dragon-fish,” he said, squinting as it ran down his brow to his jaw. It plopped sadly into his lap and he sighed.

“Sorry baba!” she said immediately, eyes big and worried. He soothed her with a smile before she could get teary eyed and pressed her nose to let her know she was forgiven.

“It’s alright, little fish. Just be more careful next time,” he said and she nodded seriously, soaking in the lesson. “Remember to pay attention to where your hands are.”

“I won’t forget,” she promised and far more carefully put her spoon back in the bowl. He ruffled her hair and cupped the fallen rice on his palm to set it on his plate.

“Between you and your Ran- _ shu,  _ I’ll have to change robes for every meal.” He said, lightly, and offered Zhao Haoran a smile so he wouldn’t think he was angry. He wasn’t, anyway. One wasn’t the father of a toddler if they didn’t expect a mess.

“That brings me to a conversation we had earlier. Perhaps, we should have the tailor visit and make play clothes. If you are alright with that?” Zhao Haoran asked, reaching a rice ball, dabbing it in some sauce before eating. He hummed happily. However, he got some of the sauce on his chin and flicked his tongue again to get it. This time though he used his handkerchief instead of his sleeve.

Lei Yu gave him an approving look, though didn’t have time to say anything before Lei Xiulan was gasping in excitement.

“I can have more clothes?” she asked, practically bouncing in her seat. “Really?”

“Only if you eat your vegetables,” Lei Yu murmured, his heart panging at her delight. He’d done his best to set aside enough money for clothes for her, but still he knew it was limited. She never complained, even when she got hand-me-downs from Shen Nuan, but her obvious excitement still stung him with shame, as well as bitter memory. He ruffled her hair again, a lump in his throat as he looked at Zhao Haorang. “Thank you.”

“Just like the Beans cakes you have to behave for Baba.” Zhao Haoran reaffirmed. He wanted to help reinforce his new husband’s rules. “And can I have a corn cake, husband?” He flicked his gaze to the fried sweet corn cakes that the cook had made. It was an instant favorite of his. 

“I…” Lei Yu blinked away the bitterness he felt and huffed, seeing that cheeky look. “Only if you eat  _ your _ vegetables,” he said again with a bit of sass and went back to his own rice balls, a tiny smirk on his lips. “If A-Xiu beats you in eating hers, you have to settle for tea.”

“But…fine.” Zhao Haoran huffed, with a playful pout on his face. He drank his tea and ate his vegetables except for the water chestnuts. He didn’t like them and they were salty. He made a face at them.

The sight was funny enough that Lei Yu relented and rewarded the man with two corn cake slices. “Miss Tseng always puts too much salt on those,” he said softly, nodding to the water chestnuts. “She’s oddly taste-deaf to them, so she adds too much salt just to taste them and doesn’t realize it’s her and not the water chestnuts.”

“What’s the point of them?” Zhao Haoran shivered from the still lingering taste. He took a bite of his corn cake and loved them. He wondered how much better these were going to taste with the new cook. “Don’t forget to eat, husband. Playing in the kitchen is hard work.”

“I don’t eat much,  _ husband,”  _ Lei Yu huffed back, but still finished his rice rolls just to prove he could. He regretted it, feeling too full, but refused to show it. Just calmly sipped his tea and sat back to let it all settle.

“Baba? I have a question, please,” Lei Xiulan said after a moment, gently tugging on his sleeve. “Do i have lessons tomorrow?”

She was getting better at counting days, he was pleased to note, and shook his head. “No, it’s your free day.”

She perked up. “Can I sleepover with you again?” she asked with full force puppy eyes on.

“You can even when it’s not a free day,” he reminded her and tucked her into his side to kiss the top of her head. She settled immediately, pleased as pie, which made the last of the bitterness and shame in his heart melt away. “Ran- _ shu  _ and I are going to be making things pretty on the West side of the house starting tomorrow, do you want to join us?” he asked and chuckled at her big eyed gaze. “You remember the west garden? You played with the puppies there.”

“Yes! And all the fishes!” she said in excitement. “I’d like to join, please.”

“Of course you can join, sweetness. What we are doing is for you too.” Zhao Haoran responded, moving his hand through his hair as the bells could be heard through the city signalling that it was getting late. He looked down at his cup of tea. 

“You should just stay here, Dan-jie won’t mind you missing a day. She understands your situation and supports you.” Zhao Mei stated, seeing what his issue was. She knew that Zhao Haoran wanted to stay but didn’t want to overwhelm Lei Yu with being down the hall. But the truth was there was no way to avoid it and she knew he knew it too. 

“Besides, you can have breakfast and get an earlier head start.” Zhao Aang added, taking a sip of her tea.

“I…” Zhao Haoran trailed off not wanting to make the decision now but he should because everyone would be going to bed soon. 

“You will stay and that’ll be the end of it,” Lei Yu said easily, making the choice for him. “You’ll have to move in eventually and you might as well get used to your new routine sooner than later.”

“Yes, stay with us!” Lei Xiulan said, reaching across Lei Yu to pat Zhao Haoran’s hand. “We can have a sleepover!”

“I can stay the night but I can’t stay with you and baba. I’ll take the room across from you both instead.” Zhao Haoran said, wanting to give Lei Yu space. He just hoped that Lei Xiulan accepted that. “You can come wake me when you want.”

Lei Xiulan pouted, but agreed to the compromise. “I’ll wake you with hugs,” she promised with a big smile.

Lei Yu smiled softly at that, though with a pit in his stomach he realized the problem his husband-to-be hadn't seen. “The room across from us isn’t prepared for you,” he pointed out slowly and was glad to see the man looked about as panicked as he felt inside. Still, despite his feelings, the logic remained the same. They had to get used to each other sooner or later and he had never been good at tiptoeing around issues.

Thus, “We can have a sleepover. The rooms on this side aren’t kept up for guests because Madam Shu never comes to this side of the estate. The one room besides mine and A-Xiu’s kept open belong to the servants. You’ll either have to sleep with us or in the nursery. Guanyu’s rooms are all the way in the South side of the house, and all the others are closed in that wing besides Madam Shu’s suites. You could find a room on the West side, but it would be easier just to stay here with us.”

Zhao Haoran wrinkled his nose displeased. He wasn’t comfortable staying the night and it obvious wasn’t something that Lei Yu liked doing. Like he was trying to rip off a bandage that wasn’t ready to come off. Lei Xiulan looked thrilled at the idea and it made him regret saying he would stay. He ran his fingers through his fringe as he went to pick up his tea. “It will only be tonight and we will open the room across the hall during the day so that tomorrow night I will be there.” Zhao Haoran finally said as his friend kicked him under the table when he let the silence linger. “And you can leave now to get my things, Zhao Aang.” 

Zhao Aang knew it was because she kicked him but she didn’t care. She shrugged and took Zhao Mei’s last corn cake off her dish before getting up. “Master Lei, young Mistress Lei. I will be back. Do you mind keeping Sun He safe for me while I am gone?’ 

Oblivious to the heavy feeling on her father’s side of the table, Lei Xiulan nodded vigorously. “Safe and warm!” she promised, complete with a little pat on the snake’s head.

It was cute to see her like that and Lei Yu managed a smile, but it was tight. He hadn’t expected Zhao Haoran to be so against sharing a room with him, nor the sting he felt at the rejection. But why would he want anything to do with Lei Yu’s space? In all sense, he was a used toy at best, a whore at worst. Sure, Zhao Haoran was kind, but why should he want anything more than going through the motions? They were strangers, he reasoned, but something in him still fought painfully at the reasoning. Was Lei Yu to be simply treated as a guest in this marriage? He figured that was something he should be pleased to have, grateful even, but he only felt… sadness. Loneliness. 

“Don’t worry, husband, it’s only for the night,” he said and stood from the table. He felt hurt and angry that he felt hurt and needed to get away a moment to compose himself. “I’ll get the room prepared for us. Miss Pretty, if you wouldn’t mind taking A-Xiu to get a change of clothes for tomorrow?”

“Of course, I don’t mind! Would you like me to get the baths ready too?” Zhao Mei asked, looking between them and wishing she could smack both their heads but didn’t portray that on her face. The two had just created a misunderstanding and she knew that they had to figure it out on their own unless they were complete disasters. 

Zhao Haoran couldn’t stop the slight flinch at the sharpness in how Lei Yu had said  _ husband _ and that tight forced smile. He wanted to explain but he’d mistepped again and now he couldn’t go home because he’d agreed to stay with Lei Xiulan. 

“Yes, thank you,” Lei Yu said, dropping a kiss to Lei Xiulan’s head then sweeping back to his rooms without looking back. In his youth, he would have kicked something, and had, once, kicked a tree in such anger he’d broken three of his toes. He settled for leaning against his bedpost and just breathing, though with each breath he shoved the anger down, a new feeling took its place. Shame. 

_ You are a whore,  _ Madam Shu’s voice whispered sinisterly in his brain.  _ You are lucky to have my attentions. You are mine and only mine. No one will ever touch you again… _

He did kick his bed as though to force her out, but it was harder than he’d thought. His ankle immediately hated him and he bit his lip to keep from yelping. Thankfully, a hot bath was in his future so he could soak it, and he took out the rest of his frustration at himself with tidying the bed and the room, then calling for an extra basin of water to be brought in if Zhao Haoran wanted to wash up in the morning. The motions were sadly routine, given he’d done this many times both for Shen Guanyu and Madam Shu, but still he fought valiantly against that feeling. He was to be a husband. A proper  _ husband _ . He would make this space acceptable and he would do it without feeling like a used toy, by the gods!

It took awhile, some pacing - which only made his ankle more angry, but he deserved it - before he finally felt more under control. It still felt like wrestling down a storm in his heart, bottling lightning. He wondered, not for the first time, if his mother had known he would be so pathetic and stormy inside and that’s why she’d named him after a thunderstorm. He pushed the thought away and took a deep breath, then moved to go onto his porch, wondering where Zhao Haoran was and why the man hadn’t fluttered around by the door, at the very least. Once more, he felt nervous and hurt, so he shoved it all down even farther.

He wasn’t expecting to hear Zhao Ju Di’s voice, though with a bit of a start he supposed he should. She  _ was  _ the stewardess, after all, and by the scolding tone of her voice, she’d found yet another servant to fire, and that took precedent. He still wasn’t sure about his role as a master of the house, but he did know the staff, and refocused on following her voice to the garden, hoping to be useful at least this way.

“I can’t believe you! You know this wasn’t going to be easy and you assured me that you understood how to make it work!” Zhao Ju Di’s raised voice carried. She crossed her arms as she stared at her best friend who was currently sitting on his ass in the garden. She’d gone to find him after she’d spoken to Zhao Mei. The idiot, her idiot was acting like a puppy that’d been kicked. 

“How old are you?”

“Oh don’t start that and I  _ can  _ do this, Zhao Ju Di.” Zhao Haoran sassed right back but not matching her octave. He kept his even. He wasn’t angry but confused. All he wanted was to be as respectful as possible to both Lei Yu and Lei Xiulan. The man had said he chose to be with him but Lei Yu had  _ scars _ that weren’t just of the flesh. He didn’t know how to help heal those except to give space and let Lei Yu make the first move. 

“I  _ can  _ make it work. I just don’t know where I fit and hell, he doesn’t even know!” 

“Oh, so you’ve suddenly risen to Tian level of thinking and have been blessed by the gods to know what  _ he _ is thinking. How about you use that mouth of yours and  **_ask_ ** him.”

“Right in front of his daughter?”

“No, of course not. You should have said yes, thank you, then asked him while she prepared for bed.” Zhao Ju Di scolded, her form blocking one's line of sight to Zhao Haoran.

Lei Yu paused, surprised they were talking about him. That Zhao Ju Di was  _ standing up  _ for him. He ducked behind a tree and just stood there a moment, not sure if he should leave or stay. 

“I know, I know. It was stupid but gods above, Zhao Ju Di. What if I mess up? He’s been abused, tortured, and held hostage with his daughter by the station they forced him into. That doesn’t go away easily and here I am going into the one space that’s supposed to be his. I had to buy him to save him from that hag without his consent and I’ve flipped the table that is their life.” Zhao Haoran sighed worriedly, voice smaller at the end. “I wanted him to have that private space with his daughter that didn’t include me.”

“Dumbass of course you’re going to mess up.” Zhao Ju Di sighed as well, lightly popping his head. “And you’ve flipped the table for the better. In three days he’ll have the freedom that he’d never had since the moment he stepped through those front gates, that hag is going to be shipped to Danchu house, and the family is going to finally heal and prosper. He’s stronger than what’s happened to him. While you two are figuring out each other he’s going to figure out who he is. Be patient, supportive, and open with him. Remember the egg incident with Zhao FengFang? It’s the same thing.”

Lei Yu closed his eyes, his shame settling down with this new frame of reason. Zhao Haoran had only wanted to give him space. That didn’t feel good either, but at least it wasn’t because Madam Shu had spat him out. He sighed and moved around the tree, thinking to make a smooth entrance, but his ankle decided to cramp and he tripped, sending him toppling sideways into the pond. He yelped in the cold, then sighed once the shock settled, and he glared at the fish that came over to look at him.

“If you’re not going to eat me, fuck off,” he muttered in deep embarrasment and splashed his hand over the water, scattering them.

“I mean I could eat you but I don’t think you’d appreciate it. I hear you don’t drink much so your liver would be tasty.” Zhao Haoran’s voice said from above on the bank. He had a crooked smile on his face and blush on his cheeks. He held out a hand for the other to take. “Though I could be wrong.”

Lei Yu took the offering, though winced and tripped again as he stood. He ended up holding onto the man’s arm with both hands as his ankle gave out. He could feel it throb under the water and knew it would be swollen. He sighed at himself, blushing too. “I don’t drink at all,” he admitted, speaking more on reflex. He wasn’t sure what else to say, anyway. “I don’t like losing control of myself like that.”

“I don’t either. So don’t worry about me ever stumbling in at night that way.” Zhao Haoran promised, it was something he’d stuck too after hearing the less than flattering gossip of his older brother and what he’d witnessed from the others in his family. “May I carry you to your rooms and help get you dry so that you don’t get sick? That ankle isn’t going to be helpful.”

“It’s what I get,” Lei Yu mumbled, but nodded in acceptance, though peered around Zhao Haoran before the man could carry him off. “Miss Ju Di? Could I trouble you to bring us some hot drinks?” He’d need something to soothe his daughter down, who would no doubt be worried about his foot.

“Cinnamon alright? I know a certain grumpy puppy that likes it.” Zhao Ju Di answered as Zhao Haoran hunched down before lifting him up bridal style. He didn’t care that Lei Yu was wet. He was sure that Zhao Aang would bring his whole wardrobe and probably Kuai. 

“Extra cinnamon because he has a terrible best friend.” Zhao Haoran retorted, practically but carefully stomping off towards Lei Yu’s rooms. He refocused on how light the other was. That’d be something he fixed and knew that he needed to do some of it right now. He kicked off his boots and carried the man to his bathing room. He’d get him some fresh robes after he filled the tub. 

Zhao Haoran swirled his fingers in the water using his  _ qi _ to make the water warmer. “How warm do you like your water?” He asked, peering over his shoulder at the man on the chair. “And do you want any oils or salts?”

Lei Yu just shook his head, shamefaced, and watched the steam slowly rise from the water. “That should be fine,” he said, though didn’t move to get up, his dark eyes falling to his lap and his fidgeting fingers. “I’m sorry for how I acted before. There are thoughts in my head that are hard to overcome sometimes. I didn’t realize what you’d truly wanted. I thought…” he trailed off, then shook his head. “You were trying to be kind. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to be scolded.”

“It’s alright. It’s both of us. I should just be upfront. I didn’t think it through.” Zhao Haoran responded, standing up. “And this is a learning curve for the both of us. I’ll accept it if you accept my apology and enjoy your bath in peace.”

“I accept,” Lei Yu said readily, though was still frowning. “But only if  _ you  _ do something for me. Do not assume to know when I wish to be alone. If I want it, I will tell you. You do not scare me like Madam Shu does,” he said, blunt in that, and was honestly glad it was true. “So if I want to be alone, I will say so, or simply remove myself from the situation. As for staying the night… I am the kind of man who does not dance around issues. We do need to get used to this eventually. It really is alright. I need to know that I can do this with you, the way I needed to know when I let you rest in my lap earlier. I am to be your husband… but perhaps I am assuming too.”

He rubbed at his cheek, blushing darker as the thought that his pesky loneliness had overwritten his logic fully settled. “I chose you, but that does not mean you have to want to share my space, my bed, or anything else. There’s no reason you shouldn’t wish me to just be your guest if you wanted. So I am sorry for that. I will try to get better at talking and not assuming either.”

“There I go again choosing the wrong words. I meant that you probably didn’t want me in here while you bathed. It’s true that you could have been a guest but that’s not what I want. I’ve seen flickers of you through the time I'd been here and before you’d devoted yourself to my brother.” Zhao Haoran confessed, flushing deeply as Lei Yu. “I know we can’t go back in time and I won’t try. I want to move forward with the person you’ll grow into without Madam Shu keeping you away.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You can ask me anything and I will do the same to you. That’s how  _ I _ think we will grow.”

Lei Yu sighed at him, but it was fonder, and he shakily found his feet. “And  _ I  _ meant before just now. You wanted me to have my space. And I think I do want you here,” he added, feeling a little bold as a plan formed in his mind, a test for the man, and went for his sash. “Help me undress, would you? I have questions but I need to clean up before A-Xiu is ready for us, so that means talking like this, if you’ll indulge me?”

“Of course,” Zhao Haoran said, smiling brightly at him. “Stay right there. Let me get the towels first. What’s your first question?” He grabbed some fluffy towels and turned around to get them on the rack beside the tub. He grabbed his own sash and took off his outer robe to hang up on the spare rack near the door. 

“What exactly  _ do  _ you want from me?” Lei Yu asked and carefully started peeling his wet robes off. “You say husband, but what do you mean by that? I know enough that you do not expect me to be your sex toy, but… what else do you want?” he finished, a bit dumbly, not wanting to admit to his confusion. “Do you wish us to keep our rooms separate?”

“If that 's what you want to do until we are closer then, I am fine with that. What I want is.... I want a partner who I can share all areas of my life.” Zhao Haoran answered, moving over to help the man into the bath water. He didn’t want him to trip and he only looked at the man’s body enough to keep him from falling. Once the man was in the tub safely then knelt down beside the tub. His eyes focused on Lei Yu’s face. 

Lei Yu noticed how careful the man was not to look at him. So, he wasn’t some sex crazed animal, at the very least, and he hated that something in him relaxed at the thought. What he needed, now, was to decipher the look in the man’s eyes. “What would you think of me if I told you I don’t want to be separate?”

“That I think you’d be pushing yourself despite knowing that it’s not my place. I'd be nervous at first. But as we got to know each other I feel like I’d be more comfortable.” Zhao Haoran answered honestly. He offered a thin smile.

Lei Yu took that in quietly and gently started to scrub his skin. “I’ve been nervous since you decided to claim me,” he admitted, though met his eye boldly. “But I am tired of being alone. You said to Miss Ju Di that you didn’t want to mess up and hurt me the way Madam Shu has. So, let me tell you just  _ exactly _ how you’d do that.”

He turned to face him, arms resting on the edge of the tub, and watched the man’s eyes closely. “First, you’d have to deny me food, then you’d have to lock me up. After a few days of just letting me have water, you’d summon me and feed me, but only after I serviced you with my mouth and my body. You’d tell me that I was a whore, and that no one would ever wish to touch me again. You’d make me feel violated and disgusting, and then you’d fuck me again. And because that’s only the start, you’d spend the next days training my words, teaching me what to call you to make you feel great. To call you  _ master  _ and  _ lord  _ and  _ god.  _ To humiliate myself in worshipping you. You would tell me I exist solely to be your toy, to bring you pleasure, and that the only reason my daughter is safe is because I’m good with my tongue. And you’d do this over and over again, until i was no longer human, just something for you to play with.”

He could see his words hit the man like barbs, like punches and stabs. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he wasn’t done either. With only brief hesitance, he reached out to cup Zhao Haoran’s face and force him to meet his eye, nevermind the man was already staring at him in open horror. “Tell me, Zhao Haoran. Are you going to hurt me like that?”

“No, I will not.” Zhao Haoran stated, getting control of his face again. It’d made his heart ache to learn what exactly that Madam Shu had done to him. His words were true because he’d never do that to Lei Yu. Lei Yu didn’t know that he’d hit the nail on the head calling him a puppy. The man should he ever want to be with him would have him wrapped around his finger. “Don’t take this the wrong way either but I am pretty sure you might cry the first time we ever make love.” Because it would be so vastly different from what the man had experienced being here in this house. 

Lei Yu huffed a laugh, somber, but real, and his hands slid forward into the man’s nape with a trembling, wanting touch. “I want you to know I am  _ sick  _ of being alone. I’ve been alone since I came to this house. I’m tired of being hurt and used. I want to be cared for. I want to feel safe in your space. I don’t trust you, but I  _ want  _ to. I want to feel what life is like being touched with kindness. I want to be someone worthy of that. Worthy of  _ you.  _ Because I don’t feel like I can be, but that is the legacy of Madam Shu in my mind. You are kind and good to my daughter, good to  _ me.  _ I want you to prove my doubts false. I want you to show me that life can be kind. And i don’t care if you mess up,” he insisted, tears coming to his eyes now, making his smile wobble, “because it means you’re  _ human _ . Not a god, not a master. Just a man, like I am a man, and that mistakes aren’t the end of the world. That we can overcome. I want that… I  _ need  _ that. Husband.  _ Please. _ ”

“I will give you not just because I can but it’s what you  _ deserve _ .” Zhao Haoran leaned into the man’s touch and reached his own hand out cupping the man’s cheek. His thumb wiping away the tear that’d fallen. “I am happy to be what you need and I won’t ever let anyone put you back in the place that hag put you in. As your husband we will be one and I will keep you and A-Xiu safe.” His heart went out to Lei Yu and he made the vow to the man. His gaze softened. “May I kiss you?”

“I… yes. If you don’t find me repulsive,” Lei Yu said. He couldn’t help the anxiety he felt at the request, or wonder why the man would want to kiss him like this, with tears making his eyes puffy and having just seen him flop stupidly into a pond. He sniffled and hoped that wasn’t even more gross. “Sorry.”

“I have  _ never  _ or  _ will ever _ find you repulsive.” Zhao Haoran swore before leaning in. He used the hand that was still cupping the man’s cheek to pull him down to press a kiss to the man’s forehead. It was soft and filled with his promise that he wouldn’t treat Lei Yu like Madam Shu had. He lingered afterwards just resting his head against Lei Yu’s for a moment before leaning back. 

“If anything I find you to be a strong, brave, fiery, and damn good father.”

How strange that a simple act of kindness could pull free the stopper. The bottle of his emotions shattered and the tears came in earnest. Embarrassed, he tried to hide his face, but the man kept hold of his cheeks, allowing him to sob silently into his wrists. But for all it  _ was  _ embarrassing, he didn’t feel less for it, especially seeing the concern in Zhao Haoran’s eyes instead of repulsion. 

“You confuse me, but you are kind,” he managed once he was a little more under control. His body was shaking and his insides ached, but he felt somewhat lighter and very tired. He wiped his eyes with trembling hands and huffed out a broken laugh. “And you definitely make me think of a puppy.”

“So I’ve been told. You want me to help you wash your hair?” Zhao Haoran offered, noticing that the man’s hair was a knotted mess with a twig in his hair. He lifted his hand to get the twig of the man’s hair. “And you remind me of the wild Qinghe stallions that we purchase in the summer.” 

“...oh?” Lei Yu sniffled, straightening in the tub and scooting forward so Zhao Haoran could help him with his hair. “I’ll admit, I’ve never been compared to a stallion before. What about me is so… horselike?”

“You’re faithful, passionate about your daughter and what you feel is right for you both, outspoken when you want to be which is perfect because anyone can marry someone timid, and generous. You’ve been more than generous with me and the ladies.” Zhao Haoran answered, leaning against the tub as well. He took in the man’s face and with the amused look on the face just made him want to kiss the man’s forehead again.

“I don’t know if I’d call it generous. I don’t like people standing around me while I do things. I feel bad for boring them,” Lei Yu huffed. “We are family now and that is how I treat my family.”

He waited for the man to lather down his hair then ducked into the water to wash it out. It was long enough that it turned all the water behind him into a dark, soapy abyss. “You are like a Jiang shepherd dog,” he countered back, smoothing the hair, as well as the tears, off his face. The movement had the bruises on his neck and chest flexing in the light, but he hardly noticed them. “You are loyal and protective, a bit silly and wanting pets and affirmation, but you know your job and do it well. And you’re cute,” he added, because he could admit that much. Zhao Haoran was a handsome man, made all the more so by his genuine kindness. It seemed to glow out his eyes, making them sparkle. “I want to smush your face,” he said with utmost sincerity. “I finally understand the urge. Guanyu is most likely laughing at me on the other side.”

_ Cute _ . The man thought that he was cute. He’d accept that. His friends and mother had often told him that he had the look of a puppy. However, it felt different coming from Lei Yu. His heart fluttered and his cheeks flushed at the words. Now, he wanted a different kind of kiss from the man in front of him. But instead of asking for it, Zhao Haoran just stored it away from his other thoughts like that. 

“He probably is. I’ve been told that before though I wouldn’t mind you doing it.” Zhao Haoran chuckled then moved to get the man a towel. 

Lei Yu just hummed at that, watching the man move around. He wiped his face again where his face felt sticky from the tears and knew his eyes were puffy. Hopefully, Lei Xiulan wouldn’t notice. “There is something else I wanted to say, to go back to what we were speaking of before,” he said and very carefully got his feet under him to stand, though he waited for Zhao Haoran to come back with the towel. It was hard to do with a swollen, screaming ankle, but he managed to step out of the tub without falling and tuck into the towel that Zhao Haoran wrapped around him.

“About separate spaces. The way I am… I don’t know what my limits with you will be. This is new for me, just as I’m sure it’s new for you,” he said, holding the fluffy towel to his chest once Zhao Haoran was back in front of him. “When I face an unknown, I barrel into it. I wanted to test myself in your space, so I told you to rest on me. I wanted to test you in  _ my  _ space, and I had you stay during my bath. I want to know my new routine with you, so I am open to you sharing my room whenever you want. You don’t have to worry about me not wanting it. If I didn’t, I would tell you and I wouldn’t offer it indefinitely. And I’m not glass, either,” he added, smiling a little smile for him. “You won’t break me so easily. That may be hard to take since I just became a blubbering mess, but still. I have survived this far. If you are uncertain, ask. I will tell you when I don’t want it. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Zhao Haoran smiled brightly then peered down at his ankle. “Sit and I will use my  _ qi _ and some bandages to help with that.” He helped the man go to sit down on the stool. “It will be easier to do now before you get properly dressed for bed. And speaking of bed...I usually sleep shirtless with trousers. Would you prefer me to sleep in my vest or inner robe too?” he went to get the basket he saw with the bandages.

“Sleep as you wish, just remember you’ll have a five year old climbing all over you,” Lei Yu reminded him, though he went tense as the man came back with the bandages. “Uh… no  _ qi,  _ please. I… um. She used hers to…  _ make me…”  _ He shuddered and shook his head. “No  _ qi.  _ I will just let it heal on its own. But thank you.”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to explain. I know other ways to help the inflammation. Do you have bath stones? The black or pink ones?” Zhao Haoran asked, tilting his head much a curious pup would. 

“I think I might?” Lei Yu said, honestly unsure. He looked over at a small cabinet in the room with furrowed brows. The times where his pain was bad enough to merit a call to a healer were mostly blurs of his memory. It would make sense that Healer Xuan would have given him something like that to use, but he had never used them. “I don’t use anything usually, but I've gotten some things from healers in the past. If I have any, they’ll be in that cabinet over there.”

“Alright give me a moment.” Zhao Haoran said, going over to the said cabinet. It took him a moment but he found two stones. He beamed holding them out like he’d found the prized item in a scavenger hunt. “May I cool them with my  _ qi _ or do you want me to use water?” He approached him again with the stones in hand after shutting the cabinet back up.

“You can use your  _ qi.  _ I’m fine with magic as long as it stays out of my body,” Lei Yu told him honestly and watched him cool the stones between his hands. It brought to mind lunch, and seeing all the wraiths on the table, as well as his daughter’s ball of light. While he feared it controlling his body, he was actually most curious about cultivation, not only for his daughter’s sake, but because it was something he would never experience personally. “May I ask you something? How long does it generally take for a wraith to form?”

“It depends on how developed your core is. We are taught at my mother’s family home how to nurture your core.” Zhao Haoran answered, sitting down on the ground. He made sure his  _ qi _ completely dissipated before putting the rocks on the man’s ankle. He rubbed them around the inflamed areas. He trailed up the lower calf. Zhao Haoran smiled up at him. “And you can always ask me questions like I’ve said before.”

Lei Yu groaned at the pain, but enjoyed the coolness of the stone on his swollen flesh. An odd mixture, pleasure and pain. He swallowed a bit and met the man’s eye with a tiny smile of his own. “A-Xiu’s birth father was a cultivator, a rather powerful one, but her mother was coreless like me. I did my best for her after her mother died, but I don’t understand how magic works the way you do. Thankfully, Teacher Wu says her core isn’t too behind and progressing steadily now. I want her to know the fullness of her abilities, despite the slightly stunted start.”

He winced again and shivered, still emotionally shaken and now cold. He pulled the towel in close like a blanket. “I try to learn as much as I can so she doesn’t feel strange asking me questions. She knows we’re different, but I want her to know I care about that part of her life and will do my best to help her along. With you, that will be easier.” And wasn’t that a relief? He closed his eyes against the pain and moaned as an ache started up his leg, the sound deep in his throat. “When... _ tsk.  _ When did you get your wraith? How old were you?”

Zhao Haoran slowed his movements and swallowed. He hated that he was making the other hurt and be cold. However,the man’s swollen ankle was going down. “I was twelve when I got my wraith. It was right after I met Zhao Ju Di. I was too stressed. I’d just moved into the estate and I wasn’t allowed to come back here for a year. It’d been the longest I’d had to go without seeing Ying-ge. Now, Zhao Ju Di got her’s at 7 and Zhao Aang at three. Her mother telling her how she freaked out seeing a very large silvery scorpion crawling about her room.” He mused. 

“Teacher Wu’s story is similar. He grew up in the countryside to farmer-cultivators. He’s a near genius and got his wraith at A-Xiu’s age, though he told me his motivation was a wraith that could help him do his chores,” Lei Yu remembered with a soft laugh. “He got a raven. I’m not sure when Mister Wu got his mice, but he told me it was never just one. Once he figured out how to call them, it was  _ all  _ of them.”

“That’s too funny. That’s what happened to Sun He...before...he was cursed. His wraiths came in packs.” Zhao Haoran responded, grinning at the memory. “A raven is good. I imagine that A-Xiu might actually have a fish or a rabbit. I can see her being a rabbit.”

“She likes rabbits, but fish are her loves. And birds, though I think that was because she saw Teacher Wu’s raven, and Guanyu always made wraith birds for her to chase around,” Lei Yu said, soft in the memory, and realized the man had stopped with the stones. “May I dress now? My nose is starting to get cold, which is probably a bad sign.”

“Of course, and I will get those thicker robes. Thank you for obliging me.” Zhao Haoran said after he quickly wrapped the man’s ankle. “You’re free of my cold hands and stones.”

“Your hands were perfectly fine,” Lei Yu said, wanting the man to know he was fine with the touching that had happened. Slowly, he got to his feet and shivered, limping towards his room, and was grateful to see his daughter wasn’t quite there yet. He sat on the bed shivering and waited for Zhao Haoran to bring him a robe to wear. “Thank you, husband.”

“You’re welcome and you slip this on and I’ll braid your hair back.” Zhao Haoran said, bringing Lei Yu a dark grey robe that wasn’t too thin and had extra lining to keep the smaller man warm once he got beneath the sheets. Zhao Haoran went to the vanity to get the comb. “Unless you’d rather not but I make a mean fishtail braid.”

Lei Yu pulled the robe on gratefully and rubbed his long hair between the towel to dry it enough it wasn’t dripping. “Feel free,” he said after a moment’s thought. “Though, a warning: if A-Xiu sees it and realizes it’s a braid she doesn’t know, she will  _ demand  _ you teach her. Braids are her current fixation when it comes to hair.”

“She can practice on us then. I don’t mind at all. I love to have my hair messed with.” Zhao Haoran said, moving onto the bed so that he could get to work on Lei Yu’s hair. His hands moving quickly from memory on how to make the braid. 

Lei Yu closed his eyes to the nice feeling, since only his daughter played in his hair. Guanyu had never learned to braid, but had been fascinated by the length as they lay together in bed, often running his hands through it. Madam Sun had done similar, but braiding? Simple brushing and fussing? 

It was a small joy in his heart that Lei Xiulan owned, and he felt it gently pull in Zhao Haoran too, if only in this. He realized he was smiling as the man worked his way down and hugged his arms to his chest in a mimic of a hug to his little one.

He couldn’t feel it tied off, because it was simply too long and Zhao Haoran tied it fully in his own lap, but he felt the end of the slight shifting in his hair and looked over his shoulder. “All done? Hopefully you managed alright. I’ve been told more than once I have too much hair.”

“Yes and I am going to be honest. I like your hair a lot. Showing A-Xiu different braid styles I know is going to be fun.” Zhao Haoran answered, sharing his true thoughts. He let the braid slip over the man's shoulder as he plopped on his back beside him where his head was near the man’s thigh. A hand came to cover his face as his robes slipped open a bit revealing a hint of a tattoo of scales on his chest. He had his tattoo of his family motif on the back of his neck but also had a dragon that started on his chest and wrapped around to his back. 

Lei Yu tilted his head and looked at what he could see, then shuffled in closer. “Lift your head,” he instructed, amused and awed the man simply compiled without question. He slipped his thigh under the man’s head and pushed lightly on his forehead to make him relax back down. “I don’t mind if you use my hair. A-Xiu combs it and plays with it for hours while I embroider.”

Zhao Haoran nestled back into Lei Yu’s lap. A gift given twice to him today. He peered up at Lei Yu with a smile. “Mark your words. I’ll hold you to them.” His tone playful as he reached up to gently tug on the braid. “You’re both welcome to use mine as well though I can’t promise to not fall asleep.”

“You are a puppy,” Lei Yu huffed in amusement, watching him get cozy. It was odd that this man was in his sanctuary - and his prison - and it did not feel stranger to him. He was still anxious about tomorrow and if all these promises and vows would hold up, but for tonight they were warm in his heart and he nearly combed his fingers through Zhao Haoran’s bangs before he stopped himself. 

Thankfully, the door opened and finally Lei Xiulan came in with her tiger and turtle plushies. She giggled seeing them and immediately ran over, jumping onto the bed. “Ran- _ shu!”  _ she cheered, flopping on him since he was laying down and therefore free game. Lei Yu smirked to hear the  _ oof  _ the man let out as he took an excited five year old elbow to the side. “Are you ready for storytime?”

“Almost, sweetness. We need to drink something sweet first. I call the side your  _ baba _ doesn’t want and you in the middle? Then  _ baba _ can read us a story.” Zhao Haoran answered, tickling her a bit as he spoke. He laughed as she giggled and flailed. He noticed how Sun He was no longer around her neck but on the ankle of Zhao Aang as she stepped into the room behind Zhao Mei, who was carrying in the tray of hot chocolate that Lei Yu had requested.

“Oh, there you are Sun He.” Zhao Haoran laughed.

“Yes he is and here are your robes.” Zhao Aang stated, hanging the qikan satchel on a hook on the wall near the bed. 

“Thank you.” Zhao Haoran said, then went back to tickling Lei Xiulan. 

Zhao Mei laughed and sat the tray down at the small low table at the little sitting area that was decorated with plush pillows and soft blankets. Lei Yu wiggled free of the wrestling duo on the bed and limped to her with a nod of gratitude.

“Thank you, Miss Pretty, Miss Aang,” he said softly, grabbing a cup to blow on and sip. He offered both ladies and the snake a respectful bow of his head. “And you as well, Sun He. Sleep well.”

“You too Master Lei, mistress, A-Ran!” Zhao Mei responded, grinning like a fox as she and Zhao Aang left. Zhao Aang had bowed her head respectfully before leaving. She didn’t want to disturb the others. 

Zhao Haoran laughed hard as Lei Xiulan’s head bumped him in his bruised cheek. “Have mercy, Sweetness!” He teased not caring about the further pain to his face. “Let’s go over there with  _ baba _ and drink our cocoa before story time. Come on.” He urged her to get up. “They even have cinnamon on them can’t you smell it?” 

Her head popped up immediately with a gasp. “Cinnamon?”

“Yes, there’s cinnamon on them,” Lei Yu promised and held out the smaller of the cups for her. She wiggled free and scampered over quickly to take it. “Remember to blow on it, A-Xiu. It’s hot.”

Obediently, she blew on the top, obviously delighted. “Thanks, baba!”

“You’re welcome.” He ruffled her hair and held out the final cup to Zhao Haoran. “You coming, or shall I drink it for you, husband?”

“I am, I promise. I was just enjoying the moment.” Zhao Haoran answered, cheeks rosy for a different reason. For a split second it felt like this could be their life. The three of them having a good life. He slid from the bed with a cat like grace that he normally didn’t have and walked over to take the offered cup. He blew on it before taking a sip. When he looked up seeing Lei Yu looking at him he smiled with a cream lipped smile.

Lei Yu felt something in his chest tighten at the sight and he huffed a laugh. “You are wearing your drink,” he said, then looked down at his daughter who had the same messy grin. It made the feeling worse, like his heart was about to break with how painful and full it was becoming. He had to take an extra breath to calm down. “Look what you’ve done. Now she is wearing hers too.”

“Baba!” she giggled and sipped her drink, getting more of the cream on her upper lip. Seeing her happiness, and hearing Zhao Haoran laugh had him regarding his own cup. Slowly, he took a sip, and let the liquid bump under his nose. He pulled it back with a cream moustache and Lei Xiulan was immediately into a peal of laughter.

“What?” he said with great dignity, which only made her laugh harder. “If you can wear your drink, then so can I.”

“Silly, baba,” she said, licking up her own mess of cream, though she missed a few spots. Not that it mattered. She was taking another drink and getting a whole new creamy mess to make up for it.

Zhao Haoran licked his lips getting all of his cream off his face. He laughed lightly at how happy Lei Xiulan was drinking her hot cocoa. When he glanced up he noticed that not all of Lei Yu’s cream was off. He reached over wiping it off with his thumb to help him before he could stop himself. Then licked it off his own finger. “Hot chocolate is the best before bed, right A-Xiu?” His cheeks were a deep shade of red now as he thought more about what he’d done.

Lei Yu had flinched a bit, watching his hand with sharp eyes, but he’d relaxed at the overall innocence of the motion, especially when the man blushed. Then his daughter, predictably, nodded happily to his question. “It’s my favorite!” she gushed, as he knew she would, and he forced himself to relax again, though his lip was tingling still from the touch.

“A bit sweet for me,” he murmured, drinking slow. He could feel the sugar settling in his stomach like a stone and stopped just past halfway. Seeing that Zhao Haoran had finished his, he offered him his cup and took the empty one to set back on the tray. “You can have the rest.”

“Me too, baba?” Lei Xiulan asked, though she still had a little left. Already, the warm drink was working its magic, and her eyes were getting heavy. 

“No, you’ve had enough, and I think it’s time for bed.”

She pouted, but finished her cup and took his hand. “Story first,” she said, stubborn as ever for her story. Like the night before, he could tell she wouldn’t last long, but that wasn’t what mattered here. As long as she asked, he would always answer. 

So he picked her up and gently wiped her face with a handkerchief while they waited for Zhao Haoran to finish. “Story first,” he agreed, getting a sleepy smile in return.

“Yes, story first.” Zhao Haoran smiled thinly, finishing off Lei Yu’s hot chocolate. He was embarrassed that he’d not stopped himself before doing it. Now it was done and he probably made the other man uncomfortable. He couldn’t dwell on it though because he told Lei Yu he wouldn’t assume. So he’d let the other tell him how he feels but if the man started showing signs of discomfort then he would talk with him about it. 

“Good listeners sleep in the middle, remember?” Zhao Haoran laughed, walking to the bed. He left his inner robe on instead of taking it off. “Baba has to have a side to sleep on. If anything Ran-shu can sleep on the floor.”

Lei Yu gave him a look. “Sleepovers mean the same bed,” he said and Lei Xiulan nodded in agreement. “It’s big enough,” he promised, a little softer, and chuckled a little. “Stop overthinking, husband, and get comfortable. I sleep on this side.”

He gestured to the side facing a wall without windows, while the other side did, then gently settled Lei Xiulan in the center and held the blanket up for her to get cozy.

“Spots? Beans?” she asked, holding up her arms for her stuffed toys. They were closest to Zhao Haoran, so Lei Yu simply tucked her in and allowed the man to fetch them for her.

Zhao Haoran nodded, then went to the otherside of the bed after he handed her the stuffed animals. He smiled as he moved the pillows and got under the sheets as well. Zhao Haoran used his  _ qi _ rats to come out and dimmed the lights so that it wasn’t too bright or too dark. He had no idea if she was afraid of the dark. He turned on his side facing them so that he could pay attention to the story and them. “Are you ready, sweetness?”

She nodded, content with her plushies, and looked up at her father expectantly. He chuckled at the sight of two adorable sets of eyes waiting for him as he too got comfortable. “What would my little fish like to hear tonight?”

“More puppy,” she said happily, her eyes drooping even more now that she was tucked in. Tucked on his side, it was easy to lay his hand over hers on her chest and hold them gently. “Once upon a time,” he said after a moment of thought, “there was a puppy who thought too much. He was a master of the rolling hills and flat farming lands. Everyone loved him, for he scared the mice from the granaries, and scared the crows out of the corn fields. But the puppy wished for a home of his own, and one day he found it. A farmer in the rice field offered him a place at their fire to be a guardian to his daughter, who was brave and adventurous and needed a friend.”

“Like me!” Lei Xiulan said with sleepy enthusiasm.

“Like you,” Lei Yu agreed and he leaned down to kiss her forehead. “So the puppy accepted the place by the fire and became the girl’s guardian and friend. After a while, the puppy noticed the farmer was lonely, for he had recently lost his wife. But the puppy didn’t know what to do to make it better. He had no skill in farming, only in chasing mice and crows. He had no hands to plant the rice. And of course, he thought too much. Soon he was very worried indeed! What if he tried to be the farmer’s friend too? Would the daughter be sad? Would the farmer be mad? Oh, but what could he do?”

“Oh no!” she gasped, eyes closed now and voice barely there. Lei Yu chuckled and tucked her in fully, and soon her breathing had evened out into a gentle snore.

Lei Yu smiled and met Zhao Haoran’s eye, soft and sleepy himself, and continued. “The farmer realized the puppy was upset and asked him what was wrong. The puppy confessed that he wished to be friends, but didn’t know how to do it. Being friends with the daughter was easy, but what could he give to the farmer? Do you know what the farmer said?”

“Just be who you are, the friendship would come?” Zhao Haoran offered, letting his  _ qi _ lower the candles out but they scampered over to the fireplace to light a fire. It might be spring but the nights were quite cold and sometimes they would get snow because of how close they were to Qishan mountains. 

“Yes,” Lei Yu murmured and the hand that was on his daughter shifted to lightly cup Zhao Haoran’s face. “Simply wishing to be friends was all that was needed. The farmer didn’t need the puppy for his skills. He just needed the puppy to want to be his friend. The rest would follow. Does my puppy understand?”

“Yess..” Zhao Haoran murmured as he held the other man’s gaze. He tilted his hand into the man’s touch and let his eyes slide shut. His heartbeat was a little faster at his answer. Yes, he’d be the friend that Lei Yu needed and if the rest came in their relationship then he would consider that a blessing.

“Then there’s no reason this can’t be a happily ever after,” Lei Yu said to that, then trailed his hand between Zhao Haoran’s brows to gently rub there, wondering if it would put the man to sleep the way it made his daughter sleep. “Goodnight, husband.”

Zhao Haoran had no idea how the other man knew that his weak spot when tired. But the man did and he was probably going to chalk it up to being a father if the man asked. His eyes began to flutter. “I want our family...husband.” Zhao Haoran murmured sleepily as he tried to get his mouth to form the thoughts in his brain. However the will to stay awake faded as the motions put him to sleep. 

The sight made that ache form back in his heart. Lei Yu retracted his hand and tucked it around his daughter, smiling a little to himself when they both started snoring. It was new, but oddly not unwelcome, and he felt proud that he had handled having the man in his space this well. Perhaps there was hope for them, after all?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zhao Haoran, Lei Yu, and Lei Xiulan visit the west wing which will be their new family area in the manor.

When Zhao Haoran woke up it was to the sound of the  _ yin _ bells. He went to roll so that he could stretch out but found that he couldn’t. There was an unfamiliar weight on his hip. He sleepily opened his eyes slowly and peered down to find Lei Yu’s hand there. It wasn’t one of intimacy but of protection. Like the man had been trying to pull all three of them together. To which he gladly had gone asleep but now it felt like a lot in his heart that he couldn’t explain. Instead of staying in bed with them he carefully extracted himself from the bed and got up.

His mind was already going at full speed the moment that his feet touched the ground. The daily routine still ground into him. So he couldn’t go back to sleep. He knew that the other would probably be worried when he woke to find him gone. So he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a letter telling him that he’d be in the garden training. That he’d be back for a bath and breakfast. 

After that Zhao Haoran left to go out for his morning run around the large inner garden. He left his inner robe on the post at the foot of the bed which left him barefoot in his trousers. Zhao Aang and Zhao Xin were already up. He could feel their cores in the courtyard and he stopped in the doorway to the porch to look back at the sleeping family...his soon to be family. His cheeks reddened as he remembered the last bit about him telling Lei Yu that he’d wanted them to be his. It wasn’t a lie but the words meant more than the other man would probably ever know. Zhao Haoran swallowed hard then stepped out into the cool morning light.

Lei Yu had woken just slightly as the man left the bed, but it was too early for him to stay awake. The emotional ride that had been the night before had exhausted him, and when he blinked his eyes open, it’d been about an hour. It was still early, but the absence of Zhao Haoran had his mind waking all on its own. Thankfully, the man had left a note for him, which soothed him down even before he read it.

The man would return for a bath and for breakfast. With that in mind, Lei Yu carefully extracted himself from around his daughter and tucked her in more snuggly to keep her asleep. She didn’t even move, still fully in her dreams. He smiled down at her and carefully limped around the room, calling for a passing servant to bring tea and coffee, as well as some cut fruit and bread. Then he moved onto the porch to peek out into the garden, curious about what Zhao Haoran was doing. The only Zhao he’d seen train had been Zhao Aang, and he spotted her easily enough, as well as a vaguely familiar woman he realized he’d met that horrid first night. He hadn’t seen her that following morning and wondered if she was the reason Madam Shu had not burst out of her rooms in a fury. 

It was a little hard to step down into the garden, but he did it anyway once the tray of food and drinks were brought to him. Every step hurt and his ankle throbbed, but his smile was genuine when he set the tray on the low table by the sand pit and sat to watch.

Zhao Xin was tall and her robes were flowy so it hid Zhao Haoran. She was winning, not that Zhao Haoran cared. He just wanted to keep up his training to protect his family. Like right now Zhao Xin was teaching him how to do the kick that’d caused the bruise on his face. He let Zhao Xin come at him with punches. Zhao Haoran grabbed her wrist and brought his leg up to wrap it around their joined wrist as he turned. Then he flung his leg back out to kick her in the face. 

To his horror, Zhao Xin let it connect and he let go of her wrist. She fell to the ground and as he lowered his leg to stand properly. He didn’t try to help her up and instead to prepare for her to get up herself. A proud look on her face when she did.

“Good, now, let’s try that again along with the two other moves. Your problem is that you’re worried you’ll break my leg. You aren’t and if you do then it will heal.” Zhao Xin instructed along with praising. 

“Alright.” Zhao Haoran tried not to preen and continued moving. He’d sensed that Lei Yu had come out but he couldn’t stop or he’d have to do doubles tomorrow and he didn’t want to interrupt their plans. 

Lei Yu watched curiously, a little stunned at how hard they were actually hitting each other. Then again, his husband-to-be still had a bruise on his face, so perhaps he should have figured. It was clear that Zhao Xin was more skilled, like a trainer, but Zhao Haoran was a quick thinker. Even from where he sat away from them, Lei Yu could see the wheels turning behind Zhao Haoran’s eyes. A good look for him, if he was honest with himself.

He smiled when Zhao Aang moved over, obviously staying out of the way, and he held up a steaming cup for her. “Coffee only, right?” he asked, sipping his own tea and reaching for a slice of pear.

“Yes, thank you Master Lei.” Zhao Aang smiled at him. Though her gaze went back to Zhao Haoran and Zhao Xin. Zhao Haoran was doing well today and making Zhao Xin very proud. “This must seem strange. The older one wasn’t much of a fighter after he took the lordship.” She took her seat across from him. 

“Yes and no. I won’t say I know a lot about your family, Miss Aang, but I do know you operate like a fighting force, enough so that you’ve cultivated your own fighting styles,” Lei Yu told her, glad he wasn’t wholly ignorant. “I’m surprised at how hard they’re hitting, but it’s clear they know what they’re doing. And you’re right,” he added, frowning a little, “Guanyu didn’t train much. Madam Shu didn’t let him. His cultivation always suffered because of that. I think she always knew he was a threat to her. Teacher Wu told me that Guanyu’s core actually had more capacity to it than hers. If he’d been able to train the way he needed to, then he would have surpassed even Lord Shen in strength. So of course she took that from him.”

“Ah I bet she brags of that pathetic excuse she has for one.” Zhao Aang stated, bluntly. She understood from Zhao Xin that the woman’s core was mediocre at best but even the mediocre have the ability to hurt others.

“Brags, and uses it on me,” Lei Yu confirmed, in fact, shuddering in memory. “She wanted to stunt A-Xiu as well, because my daughter’s core also has a strong capability. I thought Teacher Wu was going to strangle her when he figured out what Madam Shu was trying to do.”

Teacher Wu was stern and cool headed, but Madam Shu pushed all his buttons and then some. He’d never seen the young man lose his temper except with her, which he understood completely, but it was still a sight to see. “That’s why I pay Teacher Wu out of my own allowance, so she has no legal grounds to dismiss him. It’s also why the classroom is on this side of the estate. She refuses to come over here.”

“She won’t be going anywhere except her rooms, dining hall, and entry. If she’s smart she’ll keep her mouth shut when she wakes or she’ll be comatose till the house is ready.” Zhao Aang stated, truthfully. Her gaze shifted from her brother and sister to Lei Yu. “We will not let her harm any of you and Zhao Xin has no tolerance for rule breaking.”

“So I take it she and Miss Ju Di get along?” Lei Yu chuckled softly and nodded in gratitude. “I won’t lie and say I’m not still scared, so I hope things progress as smoothly as you say.”

His own gaze flicked back to Zhao Haoran and Zhao Xin, watching them fight with all the skill and discipline of a dance. Seeing the sand in the pit fly around under their feet had him thinking of Shen Guanyu, and the other garden they’d be renovating when the family moved to the west side. He remembered, suddenly, that Shen Guanyu’s dogs had destroyed a few areas of the garden in their play, for they’d like to dig, and he was honestly curious how much had been fixed, if at all. Madam Shu had quickly shut the garden down when her son was killed, and the dogs were taken away.

Zhao Haoran probably had it all well in hand, but he wanted to be helpful, even if only a little. A plot forming, he turned back to Zhao Aang. “Is Miss Ju Di up as well by any chance?” he asked, wondering it was a Zhao thing to be up so early.

‘Yes, Master Lei. Zhao Ju Di rises at  _ yin _ with Master Zhao.” Zhao Aang answered him. Her gaze filled with curiosity but also a look of knowing that the other was plotting. It was obvious by the gleam in his eyes. “She should be coming right about...now.”

“Master Lei. A-Aang.” Zhao Ju Di greeted them as she stepped out quietly. A small stack of papers just for Lei Yu. It was an account of the household staff, inventory, wages, the approved proposition from the chef he wanted, Lei Xiulan’s weekly education plan, Lei Xiulan’s current results, and blueprint approvals from their carpenters at the Zhao Estate. 

Lei Yu was glad he’d asked for a stack of cups so he could pour her tea without worrying about running out. “Miss Ju Di,” he greeted with a smile and set the tea down so she could sit. “I have a question for you, if you would indulge me?”

“Of course Master Lei. Ask away, if you don’t mind looking these over for me.” Zhao Ju Di answered, taking her seat beside Zhao Aang. Today her hair was in a high braided ponytail with what looked like a pink ribbon that stood out from the black training robes she wore. 

Lei Yu smiled at the pink ribbon, recognizing it from his daughter’s collection. He took the stack of papers and shuffled to the blueprints. Like he’d hoped, the plans for the garden were basic and not a priority, since they were still in relatively good condition. He realized he was grinning and cleared his throat, blushing a bit, but pleased.

“I was wondering if I may take over renovations for the western garden?” he asked her. “Guanyu’s dogs ruined a few spots and I know who I want to bring in to fix it.” He wanted to be helpful to Zhao Haoran and take an active role in making a new life. He didn’t say it, but it was there in his tone all the same. 

“Of course, of whom would like to hire to do this?’ Zhao Ju Di stated, taking the wax pencil that she’d stabbed in her hair out to write down notes on a sheet of paper she’d brought with her. 

“Mister Wu Rushi,” Lei Yu told her. “He’s the head gardener for the outer courtyard as well as this garden, so you’ve met him already. He was forced out of the southern and western gardens because Madam Shu didn’t like his use of  _ qi.  _ She thought he was using his mice as spies, so hired her own gardener to cover those areas.”

The idea wasn’t a bad one, though if she knew anything about the man, she’d know that was impossible. Not that Wu Rushi couldn’t keep secrets, he just wasn’t into drama of any kind. He was easy going and friendly, a gentle soul who talked to animals and plants. His use of  _ qi  _ was impressive, for sure, but it was also innocent, not that Madam Shu had cared.

“He’s Teacher Wu’s  _ gege,”  _ he added to Zhao Aang, since they’d just been talking about Teacher Wu. “Simple, born and raised in rural Meishan. He has a great eye for gardening and I know he’d be able to fix up the place and make it even more beautiful.”

“I will inform him of your decision. His work is impeccable from what I’ve seen and I will let you know that Master Zhao has also commented on how lovely the garden is right outside your room.” Zhao Ju Di stated, writing the notes down. She would let him know of his new duties as soon as they were done here. That is of course once she got approval for what the man wanted exactly. “Your next question, Master Lei?”

Lei Yu was rifling through the stack again and was about to say no when he realized what he was staring at. “...are these misprinted?” he asked, showing her the legal papers for the bank accounts. “Why do I have access to Zhao Haoran’s account? I understand my daughter’s, but his?”

“You misread, Master Lei. That is not Master Zhao’s account. That is your account.” Zhao Ju Di answered, then pointed to the account near the top. “That is your joint account with Master Zhao.” The original line that Lei Yu had pointed to had the amount of twenty thousand gold ingots and nine hundred silver ingots. Her finger now lay on the line that was over twenty times that. “That is your available balance. If you want to know what you share in your stores at Zhao Estate, that is something you have to ask Master Zhao. That sum goes to him because the account was started in his name.”

The sheer amount of money made Lei Yu a little sick and a lot worried. Having free rein to a fortune? He was deeply uncomfortable with it and worried his lower lip with his teeth. “Wouldn’t it be easier to put me on an allowance?” he asked after a moment’s thought. “He will have to budget this for the household and I wouldn’t want to accidentally complicate things…”

“Master Lei, this is the household funds. Master Zhao is running the money for the business. It is being reworked though so there might be some months where you would need to discuss with him the best course of action.”

Lei Yu looked down at the accounts again and the other papers detailing where the money was flowing. He was saddened, but unsurprised, to see the amount of debts racked up. Seeing that Zhao Haoran was simply taking the losses made him even more uneasy. 

“I’ll talk to him about it,” he said to that, knowing that was the best course of action, and forced himself to shuffle past them. He blinked seeing his daughter’s lesson plans and weekly summaries. Teacher Wu would not have parted with them easily and the idea that Zhao Ju Di would have had to slightly bully him at four in the morning to get them made him laugh.

“Teacher Wu is free to give me my daughter’s reports on his own time,” he said, giggling at the mental image of put together Teacher Wu being forced awake so early and told to give up the reports. Amusedly, he noticed the monthly plan was not there. A small victory for the man. “Unless you enjoy bullying him, because I know he would have argued with you this morning.”

“I had the pleasure at first but then Zhao Xin did it this morning, Master Lei. It was...amusing.” Zhao Ju Di grinned, taking a long sip of her tea. Her eyes flicked up to meet his again. “I will leave that duty to him then. There is also the approved wage approval I need you to sign for our new Master Chef. He and his sister will be arriving today. Tomorrow his duties begin.”

Lei Yu was more than happy to sign them. “And have the chef’s quarters been prepared for them?” he asked, more than certain they were, but wanting to check. Gu Ming and his sister deserved some stability and comfort after over a year at the mercy of the rental homes. “Also, do we know when Zhao Tai Sun will be joining Mister Gu in the kitchen?”

“Yes, and I apologize. There was an amendment to the proposition by Master Zhao. It’s on the second page. The job is permanent and will not be forced to move from the premises. If needing to retire a new master Chef quarters will be made to accommodate a new chef.” Zhao Ju Di stated, leaning out to show where Zhao Haoran had amended it last minute. 

Just reading the words made Lei Yu’s heart ache. So, it seemed Zhao Haoran’s kindness was not just a showpiece the day before. He breathed out shakily and signed his approval of the changes. “Thank you,” he said, a wobbly smile in place, and signed a few more pages that she guided him through.

He heard movement in his bedroom and the giggle of his daughter, as well as Zhao Mei’s soft voice. Knowing his daughter would be brought out soon, he set up a plate of fruit for Lei Xiulan to nibble on once she was ready. He also made a plate for the ladies, then one for Zhao Haoran once it seemed the training session was dying down. He readied two more cups of tea and one of coffee as instructed.

“Thank you, husband.” Zhao Haoran said breathily as he approached. One of the servants had brought him and Zhao Xin towels. His tattoo on his chest on full display as well as a jagged scar from the bottom of the left rib to the hip bone was white on sun kissed skin. Zhao Xin was now just in her inner robes that were more tapered to her body. She took a seat with Zhao Aang and Zhao Ju Di. Her long black hair was now tossed up in a messy bun. 

“Did you sleep well?” He moved to sit beside Lei Yu.

“I did,” Lei Yu said and passed him the coffee, then the tea to Zhao Xin. He found his eyes tracking down the man’s body, taking in all the scars and the gorgeous ink. “Don’t let the little one see that. She’ll want one,” was all he said about it, amusedly sipping his own tea. He pushed the small plate of fruit towards Zhao Haoran.

“She’s welcome to paint on me if she wants.” Zhao Haoran chuckled,accepting the coffee. He hummed and reached for the bowl of sugar. He stopped though with a look from Zhao Aang but that only lasted a minute before he grabbed the sugar cubes. “Don’t look at me like that.” 

“What? Like you don’t have a sweet tooth that can run wild?” Zhao Aang scolded and took the bowl back so he couldn’t have more. There was a smile on her face despite her words.

“I do but this is just coffee that my husband made. I am allowed the simple things in life.” Zhao Haoran mused, taking another pointed sip. “Besides, I am healthy.” 

Lei Yu snorted in amusement and nibbled on an apple slice, just as he heard the happy pattering of feet. In a well rehearsed dance, he set down his tea well out of the way just in time for Lei Xiulan to latch onto his back. “Baba! Good morning!”

“Good morning, little fish,” he greeted, kissing her cheek then passing her a sliced pear that she took with a gleeful face. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes!” she said and plopped down into his lap, munching happily on the fruit. She smiled at everyone, though her eyes, as Lei Yu had warned, got rather stuck on Zhao Haoran’s tattoo. She gasped. “Dragon! I want one! Baba, can I have one? Can you draw one on me?”

At least she thought it was just a drawing. Lei Yu sighed fondly and nodded. “A little one,” was his compromise and she beamed at him, then at Zhao Haoran. “Ran- _ shu,  _ did baba draw that?” she asked innocently, reaching out to pat at the dragon’s tail.

“No, Miss Pretty did. If you like she can draw some on paper for you to paint?” Zhao Haoran grinned and wasn’t bothered with her patting his back on his upper shoulder. He reached over grabbing his own slice of pear. “And  _ baba _ can draw something on me too after the wedding. It will be our gift to  _ baba _ , how does that sound?”

“Yess!” she agreed easily enough, not noticing the idea was rather stunning to her father. The idea of leaving any sort of mark on Zhao Haoran seemed almost too great to get his mind around, and he wondered if it would even be truly welcome. His own inner thigh held a marking he’d been forced to get, branding him as Madam Shu’s. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to do anything similar.

But if it was just a drawing, then there was no harm, and he forced himself to relax. “Of course,” he said in easy approval, and finished his tea quietly. Lei Xiulan wiggled in his lap, content as he handed her another slice of pear. “Husband,” he started, thinking of what he and Zhao Ju Di had discussed. It was a far safer train of thought. “We  _ are _ starting the renovations today, right?”

“Yes, husband. Right after we finish eating and I bathe...oh and we check your ankle.” Zhao Haoran answered with a nod as the rest of breakfast started to come out. “Oh this all looks so good.” He licked his lips seeing the eggs, chopped ham, and peppers. “Unless there is something else you’d prefer?’ 

“No, just something I want to talk to you about,” Lei Yu assured and readied a bowl for his daughter.

Lei Xiulan looked up at him, wide eyed. “Baba is hurt?” she asked in distress and tried to look at his foot. He shushed her gently before the tears could start and set down the full bowl.

“Baba is just fine,” he promised. “I fell in the garden and hurt my foot. Don’t worry, Ran- _ shu  _ gave me kisses better.”

She nodded at that, relieved at his words, though still gripped his robes with a determined face. “Do you need more kisses better?” she asked.

“I will never say no to your kisses better,” he assured and lowered his face in so she could kiss his cheek. He smiled to feel it and gave her a little hug in gratitude. “Thank you, little fish. It doesn’t hurt now.” She preened at the news and reached for her spoon to dig into her scrambled eggs.

Zhao Haoran smiled at them. A look of fondness at them. He ran his hand through his bangs and grabbed an omelette for himself, fruit, and some pork rice balls. “We can talk about it when you’re ready, and here.” Instead of eating his own plate he just switched Lei Yu’s empty one for his. Then he started making a true plate for himself that had more meat, vegetables, and a little bit of fruit. The egg tarts he added last second.

Lei Yu sighed at that, but didn’t argue and started eating. “Miss Ju Di showed me the blueprints for the west wing,” he said around a bite of omelette. “I noticed you were saving the garden for later and I wanted to ask if I may take over the garden renovations for you?”

Zhao Haoran brightened at the request. “Of course you can. This is to be  _ our _ home. You are welcome to take over any part you see fit.” Zhao Haoran’s heart fluttered in his chest and it gave him hope for their future to see and hear the man taking an interest instead of just reacting. His reward later was going to be a kiss on the forehead but for now, he slid one of his pear slices onto the man’s plate. 

“You’re going to make me fat,” Lei Yu huffed, mostly for form’s sake, and happily took the pear pieces, eating them first. “And thank you. Thankfully we have a great gardener to help with it. As I was telling Miss Aang and Miss Ju Di, the west garden was closed and Guanyu’s dogs tore up a few plants. Hopefully Mister Wu will enjoy the challenge.”

“Meep, meep!” Lei Xiulan chriped, as she usually did, when Mister Wu was mentioned. She adored his wraith mice.

“I doubt that I will and no need to thank me. I look forward to seeing what the two of you come up with. I like this garden so I only have high hopes.” Zhao Haoran leaned into Lei Xiulan. “And I am looking forward to your help today. You’ll have my friends helping you. Is that alright?”

“Yes!” she said immediately, beaming up at him. “Xiu-Xiu is a good helper! Baba says so.”

“If  _ baba _ says then it is true. So eat up, get in our hard work robes….well I need a bath first, but then we can get to working on designing our new rooms.” Zhao Haoran smiled, then winced. His neck aching a little from falling in the sand pit. There were some burns from the sand on his back and shoulder. “How does that sound for a plan?”

He got a lot of enthusiastic nodding for that and a narrow look from Lei Yu. “Perhaps a massage as well, husband,” he said, not really asking, and gave him a pointed staredown over his cup of tea.

“Yes, husband.” Zhao Haoran responded, deflating a little like a scolded pup. That of course made Zhao Mei giggle and he shot her a look. She ignored it and went about eating breakfast and drinking her tea. Zhao Xin sighed at the display.

“Master Lei, if it is alright may I be dismissed for my own self care and rounds?” Zhao Xin sat her coffee down. She’d not eaten a lot but the woman rarely did. She had a strong core and it didn’t take much for her. 

“Aye, may I be dismissed as well?” Zhao Ju Di tacked on, “The wages document needs to be on our accountants office first thing.”

“Of course, don’t let me hold you up,” Lei Yu said quickly and passed over the needed pages, then tidied up the cups and plates they left behind. “Please let Mister Wu know I’ll be on the west side of the house when he’s ready to discuss the garden.”

“Will do, Master Lei. Young Mistress Lei. Master Zhao.” Zhao Ju Di said, bowing to them before leaving with Zhao Xin in tow. She had gathered up her robes that’d been sullied before going. 

“That just leaves me and if you like I can take our young Mistress to change into some lighter easier robes to move around in?” Zhao Mei offered, seeing the girl was happy there with her father and uncle. 

Lei Yu looked down to see Lei Xiulan was nearly finished with her eggs. “Thank you, Miss Pretty,” he said with a smile at Zhao Mei. “She has a yellow set of Yunmeng style robes that will work well for today. The cut of the sleeves is close to the wrist, and they’re lightweight.”

“And they have sunflowers on them!” Lei Xiulan added in excitement. “Ying- _ shu  _ got them for me, and Baba bought me a hair ribbon to match!”

“Oh? Then you must show them to me young Mistress.” Zhao Mei responded and grinned at the little girl. “You know how you were talking about Master Lei’s hair? I can do that too so you can have the same braid if you want to go with it.”

She gasped. “I want a fishy braid, please!” she said and hopped up, though didn’t get far before she gave her father a hug and kiss, then hurried around the table to give Zhao Haoran the same. “I’ll see you soon, baba! Ran- _ shu!” _

“Bye, sweetness! Please don’t run inside. I don’t want you to trip.” Zhao Haoran called after her though he was sure she didn’t hear him, too excited with Zhao Mei being able to braid her hair. He laughed while shaking his head and looked over at Lei Yu. The man was quiet. He offered him a crooked, fond smile. “They sure do know how to clear a table.”

“I just hope they don’t mind me treating them this way,” Lei Yu admitted, turning an apologetic smile on Zhao Aang. “I forgot to ask, but did Sun He wish for anything to eat? I know he ate yesterday and snakes don’t eat much, but he’s also  _ not  _ a snake, so I’m not sure how that affects his appetite…”

“He’s not and we don’t. So don’t worry. This is what we were trained for. We were always going to be with him and his family.” Zhao Aang stated, gently petting Sun He as Zhao Haoran flushed at her words.

Lei Yu took the news with relief. “I just don’t ever want you to feel as I did,” he said softly. “You are family here, not slaves. If I ever do anything wrong, let me know.”

Seeing her assured nod, his smile came back, and he turned to Zhao Haoran again. “Do you want me to ready the bath for you?” he asked, his eyes flicking to where Zhao Haoran was rubbing his neck again. “And there’s something else I’d like to talk to you about.”

“Yes, please and I’ll grab my robes.” Zhao Haoran nodded, moving to get up. He reached out his hand to help Lei Yu up. As he’d gotten up he rolled his shoulders. 

“And I’ll take these to the kitchen.” Zhao Aang stated, gathering up the remaining plates and dishes. “I put some of your favorite oil in the bag too.” After that she was off with the tray.

“Thank you.” Zhao Haoran chuckled.

Lei Yu took the offered hand then guided it around his arm, leading Zhao Haoran back to his rooms even though he was the one limping. “When should we expect your puppy to join us?” he asked curiously as they stepped up onto the porch and into the bedroom. Only then did he let the man’s hand go so Zhao Haoran could gather what he wanted to wear. Lei Yu headed for the bathing room to ready the tub.

“He’s in Zhao Ju Di’s quarters. He was going to stay in the kitchen but Zhao Tai Sun was feeling under the weather so he stayed in his room.” Zhao Haoran answered, pulling out his soft well worn charcoal grey robes with a burgundy trim. He hung them up in the rack in the bathroom. “Does this have to do with the gardens?”

“No, no. You told A-Xiu yesterday that you were bringing him, I just hadn’t seen him so I wondered,” Lei Yu assured, standing back as the tub was filled. He didn’t bother ordering in warm water since Zhao Haoran could warm it himself, so it was a quick process. Once it was full, he asked for a final pail to be brought in from the coldest part of the spring, and sat down on his little stool once it was brought to him. 

Unwrapping his ankle, he could see it’d turned a fine shade of blue and purple. He slipped it into the bucket with a relieved groan, his robe sliding up his leg to keep from getting wet. The barest hint of black ink was visible on his innermost thigh when it rode up too high. It was covered quickly as Lei Yu adjusted himself more comfortably.

“It’s cold still,” he warned Zhao Haoran, nodding to the tub. “Make sure you make it hot enough to relax your neck muscles. That’ll help with the massage later.”

“Thank you and I appreciate this.” Zhao Haoran smiled at him as he knelt down by the tub sticking his hand inside to let the water heat up with his  _ qi _ . Then he opened the vial of oils and dumped it in. The vial turned the water navy like the ocean. He hadn’t missed the ink but didn’t feel like it was the right time to ask the man about it. Or maybe it was? Zhao Haoran hadn’t missed how kind of distraught that Lei Yu had been when his daughter had patted his back. So maybe his mark wasn’t one he’d chosen? The only way to know was to ask. 

“I have something to ask you too but before that, I will massage your ankle again tonight. Also we can introduce A-Xiu to Kuai whenever you’d like.” At that he’d gone for his sash holding up his trousers. 

“Probably around dinner, so they can play and tire each other out,” Lei Yu reasoned and tilted his head at him, curious about all the marks on his body. He was built well, lean and strong as his training suggested. Each time he moved, the dragon seemed to dance, but it was the scar down his hip that drew his eyes the most. “What do you want to ask me?”

“I am not the only one with a tattoo. My question is how did you get it?” Zhao Haoran asked, letting his trousers fall before getting into the tub. He winced as he leaned against the wall of the tub. But the water felt divine and his core was working to fix the cuts and lift the bruises.

Lei Yu looked down at his thigh, wondering how the man knew, but then it wasn’t like the man had ravished him to see it, so what did it matter? “Madam Shu decided brand marks were too ugly,” he told him. “She calls…  _ called _ me her lotus, so she had a man come in and stamp it on me last year, where only she could see it.”

It was a bit of vindictive pride that Zhao Haoran  _ had  _ seen it, which took away some of that power. He lifted his robe enough to bare the full mark and there it was, a complicated working of a lotus with seven petals on the very sensitive stretch of skin.

“I’m sorry.” Zhao Haoran said sadly. The Zhao mark was always freely placed on the person. THey can choose not to take it like he did. His neck was void of the mark. He instead opted for the dragon. He was still a Zhao in every way. He gave it some more thought. His gaze dropping down to the tattoo. It wasn’t a look of lust but one of thought. Of how the man could turn the mark around into something else or even get it removed if he wished. There was salves that could be applied to the skin to remove it. 

“I was, but now… well, it’s no longer hers, is it?” Lei Yu mused and slowly covered the mark back up. “It was for her eyes only, yet you’ve seen it. If we are to become lovers, you will destroy that power the mark holds. Because i wouldn’t be hers anymore either, would I?”

“No, we would belong to each other.” Zhao Haoran answered, letting go of his previous thoughts. He didn’t let the thoughts of them being lovers linger for too long. But it did make him happy to know how Lei Yu felt about the mark. “And I wasn’t just saying what I did to make her happy. I would gladly wear any tattoo you’d design for me.” he stretched his leg out and felt the slight pop in his leg.

“I don’t know how I feel about that,” Lei Yu said, honestly, his voice small. “Logically, i understand that is your choice, but… I can't break away from that fear and shame I felt when she forced this on me. I don’t want you to feel that, even though you probably wouldn’t…”

He sighed and shook his head. “It’s something I will have to think about. But I will think about it.”

“I wouldn’t because my only relationship with my tattoos was because I chose this one. Compromise though, if I did want to get something that A-Xiu has drawn, may I?” Zhao Haoran asked him, moving now to take his hair out and let it unravel over the side of the tub. He’d dip down in the water later. 

“Of course. She’d be thrilled,” Lei Yu said, more comfortable with that, though now felt guilty for such an illogical fear he held. “I just… don’t ever want to make someone feel like a slave. I don’t want to strip someone of their humanity. That’s the only reason I hesitate, I promise.”

“You’ve never made me feel that way and I don’t think you ever could. We are growing and learning together.” Zhao Haoran smiled at him brightly. “I hope that I never make you feel that way either as we move forward.”

Lei Yu smiled back, hopeful too, for once. He slowly rubbed the tattoo on his thigh. “I’m glad. Tell me if I ever do, I will make it right immediately. I promise.”

“The same with me.” Zhao Haoran nodded, dipping down in the water. He stayed down for almost a minute before coming back up. He just leaned back against the rim of the tub and breathed. Then he reached for the bar of soap that he used to wash his hair. “Did you have something else you wanted to discuss?”

“I did,” Lei Yu murmured, a tad nervous now, and kept his eyes focused on his lap. “It’s about the money account Miss Ju Di showed me this morning…”

“I’m sorry, husband, that’s a bit vague. Is there a specific account you’re wanting to discuss? Or was it the addendum that we aren’t going to be getting income from the pier for three months?” Zhao Haoran asked, opening his eyes to gaze at him as he started to lather up his hair.

“Your account,” Lei Yu said hurriedly, a faint blush on his cheeks. “... _ our _ account. Are you certain you want to be sharing it with me? All of it?”

“Of course, you’re my husband.” Zhao Haoran said, firmly. He didn’t want to come off strong because Lei Yu hadn’t been treated as an equal and his brother never married him. Then of course,  _ she _ ’d done what she had to him. “And if you were someone who was after other’s money...please don’t take this the wrong way but you’d certainly not have settled for concubine. I’ve seen women and men try to work their way up into their lover’s pockets. You’ve never done that and I know you’re still struggling with this but we are  _ equals _ . You are not less than.”

Lei Yu blanched at the thought of being after money. He was stressed enough just knowing he  _ had  _ it! “It’s too much,” he said, pleadingly. “You need that money to run the estate and pay Madam Shu’s debts. I’d feel more comfortable with you giving me an allowance, if only so I don’t complicate things for you unknowingly.”

It took him a few moments to process how Lei Yu was understanding their fiances. Of course that’s how Lei Yu would feel after being handed a fortune. The man had nothing and now he has more money than he could spend in two lifetimes. He moved to sit up straighter and wipe away the droplets that remained on his face. 

“Firstly, I agree to coming up with an allowance, because you want that and feel the most secure. But there is some miscommunication about our finances. Our personal accounts are separate from our business accounts. The accounts you see are the ones setup in ours and A-Xiu’s names. There is also an account labeled Danchu house which will be Madam Shu’s allotment. None of our personal money will be taken to make up for Madam Shu’s theft. To keep the company out of the red. I have had to rework wages and deals. We will not be getting our percentage of profits from the company. I am giving all of it back to the company to clear the debts. That will take three months at most four. Prior to our marriage I have my own investments in legitimate companies and also my wages as a non-active Zhao member. “ Zhao Haoran explained, gesturing as he talked with a sudzy pile of hair on top of his head. He dunked it quickly and was finger combing a few tangles out. “Does that make it clearer?”

“...so our account is already an allowance,” Lei Yu said after a moment of wrapping his head around that. “Personal money to use for us. That is what I have access to.”

“Yes. Those amounts you see are after I’ve taken the percentage out and put them in our savings. But if you’d like to have a smaller amount to focus on then we can come to an agreement. I’ll adjust our savings percentage.” Zhao Haoran nodded, trying to reassure him that they were not in financial ruin. “We are putting money into our savings treasury not taking any away.”

“Oh.” Lei Yu blushed, feeling silly now, though still a tad overwhelmed. “It’s still a lot, but that’s because I’m not used to having it,” he explained, sheepish. “And no, the amount is fine. Now that I know I can’t potentially hurt you…  _ us,  _ by drawing on the account, I think… I think I’ll be fine with it.” Not that he used much money anyway. He bought new clothes only when necessary. The only thing he ever paid for was Teacher Wu’s lessons, rent at the manor, and various other things for his daughter. His entire allowance had been mostly divided into things just for her. The idea of spending for himself made his skin crawl. “Thank you for explaining, husband. Leave it as is. If I have trouble, I’ll talk to you about it again.”

“Please do. What you probably know about my mother’s family is that we are all criminals. This is not the case. I have never committed a crime. We’re all taught self defence, our family code, but we don’t have to do the illegitimate side. I went to school and learned business. I’ve only dealt with the lawful abiding ones.” Zhao Haoran explained and hoped he wasn’t making a mess of it. “So numbers are something I am quite good at as well cleaning up businesses.” He chuckled then tilted his head at the other. “I’m probably nothing what you envisioned.”

“You’re not,” Lei Yu told him honestly and watched him deflate a bit. His next words were a bit of a surprise to him, but he knew they were true, and offered ZHao Haoran a smile. “You’re better. Kind, good, gentle. A puppy. I was expecting another Madam Shu, and I got you. I think i’m rather lucky.”

Though he’d been pouting for a moment, when Lei Yu had told him that he felt lucky while smiling he quickly followed suit. Smiling made him want to kiss the man’s forehead again for being brave and bold. “May I ask a favor?” Zhao Haoran said as his cheeks started to flush. 

Lei Yu blinked at him and tilted his head, wondering why the man had suddenly gone red. “What is it?”

“Will you lean forward? So that I might kiss you again?” Zhao Haoran asked, a bit nervous. He should have started with the latter instead of favor. 

It was a little confusing, what set the man off in want of kisses. And the way he framed the question made Lei Yu once more expect his lips to be taken, but the thought clashed immediately with the memory of Zhao Haoran asking the night before and kissing his forehead instead.

Not knowing what to expect, Lei Yu nonetheless leaned forward. The only sacred kisses in his life were those his daughter gave him. Everything else was easy. Still, he felt curious more than anything as he obliged the man. “You may.”

Zhao Haoran moved in the tub to make it easier as he sat up to gently press another kiss to the man’s forehead. Just like before he lingered. His eyes fluttering shut as he just breathed. “That’s for being brave when what you want to do is hide and be with Lei Xiulan. You’re strong and you inspire me to move forward.” 

“I don’t see how, but thank you, husband,” Lei Yu said softly, blushing himself at the kiss. It’d made something in him flutter to be kissed so gently, and once again the man had not taken his mouth. It was a kiss, then, without a reward, and he wasn’t sure what to think, only that it felt… really nice.

“You may kiss me like that again… if you want,” he murmured, cheeks pink and eyes dark. “Whenever you want.”

“No, thank  _ you _ .” Zhao Haoran responded then lifted a hand to cup Lei Yu’s cheek tenderly. “Is it okay that I do it in public or would you like it private between us?”

“Public is fine,” Lei Yu considered after a moment. It wasn’t like he’d be out much, and open affection between husbands was fine, right? He licked his lips and softly repeated, “Whenever you want.”

“Alright then.” Zhao Haoran beamed then thought about it. He tilted Lei Yu’s face up a bit so they could meet each other eyes. “I want you to know it wouldn’t have mattered what you chose. what mattered is what’s comfortable to us both.” Then he kissed the man’s forehead again. 

Lei Yu soaked in the affection like a sponge and a soft, wanting noise trembled out of him before he could help it. Gods, when had it been the last time he’d been treated so nicely? He shivered and flushed more, embarrassed that he was so easily breaking open for this man, and with just a simple forehead kiss no less!

“I… I mean… that is…” he swallowed and managed a smile, giving Zao Haoran a teasing look. “If you can reach, anyway. I  _ am  _ taller than you.”

“I’m sure I can  _ persuade _ you to help me kiss you.” Zhao Haoran grinned. His heart was beating so fast at the happy sound coming from Lei Yu from his affections and the teasing. He kissed the man’s forehead once more now that he was given permission. He gave his best puppy eyes.. “I can be persuasive when I want to be.” 

Lei Yu snorted. “Don’t forget I am a father. Puppy eyes only work  _ some  _ of the time,” he warned, though it was mostly to see the pout come. He gently rubbed the spot that Zhao Haoran had kissed, feeling vulnerable, yet also oddly brave. He wasn’t sure how, because being vulnerable was a death sentence in madam Shu’s grip.

But Zhao Haoran made it easy. Too easy. He huffed to cover the fact he was blushing more and pulled on the man’s wet bangs, trying for some composure again. “If you keep kissing the same spot, it’ll be a permanent marking in my next life.”

“Really?” Zhao Haoran beamed at the idea. That meant that Lei Yu would have a long and happy life of love and that it would reflect in the following lives. 

“Really,” Lei Yu said, amused now. The man truly was, in every sense of the word, a puppy. He shook his head. “If you could have a kiss mark stay in your next life, where would you want it?”

“Promise not to laugh?” Zhao Haoran chuckled as he thought about his answer. His hand slipping from Lei Yu’s cheek awaiting the man’s answer so that he could point to where he’d want it. 

“I promise,” Lei Yu said, curious. 

“Here.” Zhao Haoran answered, pointing just below his left eye. “It’ll show others that I’d been loved and I’d proudly wear the mark.” 

Lei Yu chuckled softly. “You already are loved,” he pointed out, then leaned in, his hands cupping the man's face. Gently, he kissed the place that Zhao Haoran had pointed to. “Is this alright?”

Zhao Haoran preened hard under the soft and quick kiss. He had a happy dazed expression when he opened his eyes again. His admiration shone brightly at Lei Yu. “More than alright, perfect.” His heart was pounding so loud he was sure that Lei Yu could hear it. 

His happiness was almost too much. Such a simple gesture should not make someone so happy, Lei Yu thought, if only to spare his heart the sudden ache. Still, he smiled, because it felt rather impossible not to smile at that ridiculous grin, and slowly let his hands slide over Zhao Haoran’s cheeks to his temples, then into his hair and down his nape. “I shall endeavor to make a mark there, then,” he said softly.

“Whenever, wherever you like.” Zhao Haoran responded, giving him the same permission the man gave him. “And don’t be too surprised if I always turn into a pup every time.” He warned because he knew in his heart he would. His husband would be giving him affection and it wouldn’t be forced. 

“I’ll try not to abuse such power then,” Lei Yu said lightly, though he meant every word, and gently pulled the man in once more to kiss that spot again. This time he lingered, savoring the feeling of Zhao Haoran shivering under his hands. They were on the same page, he felt, and for the first time truly felt that sense of equal partnership ZHao Haoran promised.

“Take advantage as much as you like.” Zhao Haoran murmured, eyes fluttering shut. “I am yours.” A shiver went down his spine at the next kiss pressed to the spot. 

Lei Yu paused at that, looking at him in dumbfounded silence. “Do you really want that?” he murmured, swallowing thickly. “To be mine?”

“Yes.” Zhao Haoran stated, confidently as he opened his eyes. He hoped that Lei Yu could see it in his face. But words weren’t so easy and the man had been tricked before. Zhao Haoran took a hand from his cheek to lower it just above his heart. “I do want to be yours.” His heart was still racing from darkened gaze on him. 

The gesture was startling and the implications heavy. Lei Yu was sliding closer into trusting him, but it seemed Zhao Haoran was already there, trusting him enough to be honest with such a declaration. He felt unworthy, and overwhelmed, the way he had when trying to comprehend having so much money. It was almost just too great to get his head around. 

But like the money, Zhao haoraon made it easy, and his other hand slid down Zhao Haoran’s cheek to his jaw, his thumb lightly pressing to the man’s lips, as though to gently stamp each honest word into his skin. His own heart began to pound at the way that full mouth sweetly parted to his touch.

“I will not take advantage,” Lei Yu swore. “I will never do to you what was done to me.”

Zhao Haoran leaned into the touch. He couldn’t hide his heart's faster rhythm. “And I won’t take advantage of you either.” Zhao Haoran turned his head to brush his lips more against the softness of Lei Yu’s thumb. 

“I think I’ll believe that, someday. Soon,” he added, so the man didn’t worry, and leaned in again, though his eyes were focused on Zhao Haoran’s lips, not his cheek. “I... have a question for you, husband.”

“And I have the answer.” Zhao Haoran responded, closing his eyes in hopes for another kiss to his mark. 

“How do you feel about kissing?” Lei Yu asked, then realized how dumb that sounded. He tried again. “On the mouth?”

“I am not against it. How do you feel about it?” Zhao Haoran asked in return. Because to him that was more important. 

“I… meant more…” Lei Yu bit his lip, trying to figure out how to say it. “Is it sacred to you? Or are kisses just kisses?” 

“They are. I don’t just randomly kiss people. They have to mean something and I only want them with you when you’re ready for them.” Zhao Haoran answered honestly. “What do they mean to you?”

His answer made a sting of guilt enter Lei Yu’s heart. He dropped his hand from Zhao Haoran’s jaw and sighed. “I don’t know anymore,” he murmured. “I’ll say I like kissing, but it’s not sacred. Nothing physical with me is. Not after this long.” And didn’t that just make it all too clear just what used garbage he actually was? He closed his eyes, feeling repulsive, and leaned away.

“Lei Yu...” Zhao Haoran said, softly sensing how the man was sad. He kept his hold of Lei Yu’s hand over his heart. “You mean something to me and if you want to kiss on the lips, face, or anywhere else that’s fine. To me it’s special because it would be  _ you _ kissing me.” 

The words were out before he could stop them. “Why would you want me to?” Lei Yu murmured. “How can you find anything about me desirable enough?

“Because of your laugh, kindness, and bravery. As for how? I see you as a damn good father, trustworthy, kind, intelligent, and adaptable.” Zhao Haoran answered truthfully, leaning more towards him. “And I...I wanted to kiss you the first time I did hear you laugh. It was adorable.” 

Lei Yu blinked at that, blushing to his toes. He didn’t think his laugh was attractive, and had been told numerous times that it was too loud and unflattering. For Zhao Haoran to find him desirable through it? He stared at him dumbly for a long moment, then huffed the tiniest laugh. “I… have never been told that before. Usually people only want me because of my looks, not… not that.”

“Lei Yu, you are undeniably beautiful but there has to be more to a relationship than looks for it to survive. I see the depth in you and I  _ want  _ it.” Zhao Haoran said, smiling brightly. 

Lei Yu blushed more at his words and smile. He sighed and closed his eyes, shuddering to feel his hand so tenderly held and squeezed over that strong heartbeat. “...well, you’d be the first. My looks are all that got me here.”

“But they aren’t keeping you here now.” Zhao Haoran promised then brought Lei Yu’s hand up from his chest to kiss his knuckles. “I have a question for you. What’s making you stay here with me? The part that isn’t about the money or the residence because...I own two other houses prior to taking my lordship here. The residence in Lotus Pier is yours not that you’ve gotten a chance to probably read everything that we’ve given you.” 

“...I really don’t need another house,” Lei Yu said weakly, a bit nervous that maybe he would be sent there and left. And that brought him towards the answer to the man’s question. Loneliness, confusion, feeling lost. He did his best to try to find the words. “I… I just…”

He fidgeted as his tongue tied, like the words were locked in his throat and the only key was something that still brought him shame. But he knew it had to be set free, even if he was not sure how well this would go. Would Zhao Haoran hate him once he knew the truth? The thought was surprisingly gutting. “Before I answer that, I want… no, I need to tell you something.”

“It’s alright.” Zhao Haoran blinked, sensing the panic rising in the other. “Whatever you tell me will be alright.” He'd normally would have used his  _ qi _ to help soothe the other but didn’t to respect Lei Yu’s wishes. 

Lei Yu didn’t believe him, but nodded anyway, and took a deep breath to steady himself. “I’m not sure what all you know about me, or what Guanyu may have told you, if anything. Madam Shu likes to pretend he found me at some dance recital and swept me off my feet, but that is not what happened. Not even a little.”   
  


He looked away, blushing shamefully. “When I met Guanyu, I was part of a theatre troupe. To make extra money, the master of our company sold us on the side as prostitutes. So… I’ve been a whore a long time,” he said, daring to meet Zhao Haoran’s eye. “I met Guanyu after a performance. He paid for a night with me. Then another night, and another. This may surprise you, but he didn’t buy me just for the sex. To be honest with you, I felt more like he was buying someone to listen to him, to talk to, and it was during this time he told me about wanting to step free of his mother, wanting to rebel. And I…”

The tears pricked his eyes then and he knew his shame was apparent. “I used that. I told him I would be his rebellion, but in exchange he had to buy me from the company troupe, and allow me to adopt a child. You see, A-Xiu’s mother was dying and I knew time was running out for me to secure A-Xiu a home. I didn’t want her to be raised in the theatre, the way I was. Sold as a sex toy at fourteen? I would never allow that for her. So I took my opening and offered myself to Guanyu for whatever he wanted. It wasn’t love, or greed. It was just to save a child, and maybe that is heroic to you, but I will never forgive myself for using him to do it. If I’d had another option, I would have taken it, but I didn’t, and I exploited it fully.”

He sniffled and rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, but now that the dam had been opened, the rest flooded through, hot in his tears that quickly soaked his face. “Karma got me for my sins, of course. Madam Shu took one look at me and wanted me, which meant she accepted all my terms and trapped both Guanyu and I in this house. I set him back so far, I know I did. He wanted freedom and I became his shackle. And now he’s dead without ever having seen the future he desired. A future he deserved but was taken from him by Madam Shu… and by me.”

Zhao Haoran listened carefully and wouldn’t let Leo Yu go. It was a firm but not restricting hold. The burden that Lei Yu was carrying was too much for him. If he’d been a spiritual man there would probably be the weighty soul of his brother lingering there. It probably would have hurt Shen Guanying more to hear this but it didn't. His heart ached for Lei Yu and the choices he’s had to make since being a part of Shen Manor. 

“Firstly, I will never judge you or think less of you for the way you chose to survive. You  **and** Yu-ge saw it as a business transaction. One that you thought would benefit you both. However, my brother made his  **_own_ ** choices that kept him from his dream. He has known Madam Shu since birth and knew of her ruthlessness. He **didn’t** do what was necessary to fulfill his dreams. You weren’t a shackle and you could have helped him. He could have leaned on you for your intelligence and resourcefulness because sex work isn’t easy by any means.” Zhao Haoran praised him as he tried to give him comfort. He brought Lei Yu’s hand up to kiss his knuckles tenderly. 

There was logic in the words, but his heart was stubborn and slow to wrap around it. He knew it would take time to think differently of what he’d done, if he ever did, but still he nodded, if only to show he’d been listening. “Why I chose you is something just as selfish. I don’t want your money or your houses, and you made it clear to me that even if I am not yours, my daughter will have a secure future. What else is there, then, for me to care about?”

He rubbed his eyes again, more shy now than ashamed. “The truth is, Zhao Haoran, I’m… lonely. This home has been hell, but it’s also had some really good times too. Guanyu wasn’t a model husband, but he did his best. He never beat me or abused me. He cared for A-Xiu. Maybe my expectations are low, but still he met them, and I… I miss him. I miss having someone who came to visit just to bother me, who sought me out as a refuge. Who cared about what I had to say about my daughter. And, yes, who would kiss me and hold me at night. To make me feel worth something. All my life, I have been nothing more than an object used to entertain and bring pleasure. But for Guanyu I was a willing ear, a confidante. Maybe even a friend. Someone he didn’t have before. And I… I miss that. I miss being of worth to someone outside of my body. Sex is easy. But caring for someone? Loving someone? It’s something I’m still learning, something I  _ want  _ to learn. I want to know kindness, and what it means to matter. That’s why I chose you. I want to be your husband, someone you can count on. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“And I don’t want you to be alone either.” Zhao Haoran’s voice was low and soft. He pressed a kiss to Lei Yu”a hand again then the inside of his wrist. “We can learn together to be the people we need and love. I won’t let you be lonely again.” 

Lei Yu’s smile wobbled and he leaned up to kiss that spot under the man’s eye he liked so much. “Thank you,” he breathed, then huffed a soft laugh. “It seems you like making me cry… but for now, I think you need to get out of the tub. You’re turning into a prune.”

“A very large prune. May I have that towel over there and I don’t like it. It just happens because you're passionate. Your heart likes to share.” Zhao Haoran praised and teased him, pointing to the fluffy towel on the towel rack. Here membered the bucket at the last minute.. “Don’t forget the bucket, A-Yu!”

The name made him pause as he stood and he blinked down at Zhao Haoran with surprised eyes. It melted quickly into amusement and he made sure to step extra carefully out of the bucket. “I won’t forget,  _ A-Ran,”  _ he said pointedly and limped over to fetch the towel for him. Remembering the way Zhao Haoran had held the towel for him the night before, he stood by the tub and held it up, so that Zhao Haoran could stand and walk into it. “Come, before you get cold. Don’t slip.”

“Yes, A-Yu, my husband.” Zhao Haoran said cheekily as got out of the tub. He wrapped the towel around his hips keeping his chest exposed. “Speaking of tubs, do you think we could do like a pool for A-Xiu? She steps down and can swim? Or is that too soon? Can she swim?” He asked, reaching for the other towel to dry his hair. 

“She can. Teacher Wu taught her a few lessons last year during summer. He’ll be resuming the lessons once it’s warm enough,” Lei Yu told him. “And that would be a great idea for her, though I fear we’d never see our fish again. It’s already hard to get her out of the bath.”

“Well, then I guess we will make do with a regular tub then.” Zhao Haoran smiled at him. It was easy to lean on the man’s instruction. He rubbed his hair with the towel. It would be a mess to detangle but he didn’t mind. Today was going to include some hard work. “Do we want another tree house in her room?”

“We’ll have to ask her,” Lei Yu mused. “She’ll probably say yes, but still, I want it to be her choice. We can also move the current one if need be. It’s a bit small now, but we can modify it to be bigger. She uses it to store her toys.”

“Ah, I see and have you given our rooms any thought to how you’d want them to flow?” Zhao Haoran asked, moving to his pile of clothes. He let the towel fall and put on his trousers and vest before turning around to look at him. “If not, is there anything you don’t want in our rooms?”

“I’d like a nice sitting room, a place for us to have quiet,” Lei Yu said after some thought and limped to his vanity for his comb. He gestured for Zhao Haoran to sit for him and started gently brushing out his hair. It was routine, because he’d done this for Shen Guanyu, and he did it for his daughter. He hoped the man didn’t mind, but then again Zhao Haoran had said he liked his hair to be played with. Hopefully brushing fell into that category. “And a window seat to sit an embroider in. I have that here,” he said and gestured to said window nook, though it was cramped. He still loved it, having so much light to work by. “And A-Xiu likes sitting there when it snows to watch.”

“Oh, I can work with that husband.” Zhao Haoran smiled and easily moved to sit on the floor and patted the chair for Lei Yu to sit in so he didn’t have to stand when combing his hair. “I’d like a small studio. I like to paint and I can play a little of the guqin.” He chuckled thinking of his guqin and the small bit of supplies he had. All his artworks were gifts so he didn’t have any to show.

“Oh? A studio would be perfect then. A-Xiu likes to draw and paint as well, so a space for the both of you to make a mess should be something we consider,” Lei Yu said, sitting obediently. He resumed combing through the knots, untangling them as gently as he did with his daughter. “And we may need to keep it a bit spacious if your dog will be there too. Enough room for Kuai to maneuver without knocking over anything.”

“That’s true and what do you think about switching out the current servants room with the previous nursery? Or are you alright with her being at the end of the hall?” Zhao Haoran asked, leaning against the man’s knees.

Lei Yu hummed at that. “I’d like her to have the bigger space, but I think that’s something else she’ll need to decide on. I’d like her closer, but if she prefers that room, then I’ll let her have it. She’s old enough to have more of a say in her life and I want her to start making some decisions for herself.”

“I just don’t want there to be a misunderstanding with you thinking I am trying to keep her away. That’s not the case and I really want to get to know my soon to be daughter.” Zhao Haoran responded, reaching a hand up to gently pat Lei Yu’s wrist. 

“I know,” Lei Yu said, finding he did understand that. “And if i’m honest, the distance between her room and mine is greater over here than it will be over there. At least all she has to do is come down a hallway to find us if she needs to. She doesn’t have to cross the garden.”

“That’s true and I like that too. Hopefully she doesn’t mind that we will be on the second floor. The first floor is the family rooms. So her trip to our garden a little bit longer. At least she will have to pass our rooms to get to the stairs.” Zhao Haoran let out a sigh of relief. That’d also been one of the reasons that he’d recommended going back to the west wing. In his own home he’d never had such a distance from his own mother.

Lei Yu nodded in agreement and set the comb aside, using his fingers to gently tease the hair into a braid. “Do you know how long it will take you to get rid of Madam Shu?” he asked softly, a faint shake in his hands. 

“A month at most. Yu-ge was generous in giving her a manor. After his death she sold the original Danchu house. I am not so generous. I have had our accountants in Yunmeng going to Yiling to find a new residence. It is enough for her and two staff, in decent shape, but there are still repairs needed. If the weather holds out then the time will be shorter.” Zhao Haoran answered him. “She will be confined to her quarters unless her presence is needed which it isn’t….I need to tell you something.” 

The abrupt change had Lei Yu on guard, even as he carefully tied the man’s hair. “What is it?”

Zhao Haoran swallowed, turning around to peer up at him. “I take full responsibility for this…” He reached out to take Lei Yu’s trembling hands. “I didn’t tell anyone what you’ve confessed to me but my ears aren’t the only ones listening. Zhao Aang had spoken to Zhao Xin about Madam Shu abusing her  _ qi _ . Zhao Xin forced her to wake and made her seal her  _ qi _ inside herself.” He kept hold of Lei Yu’s hands to give him comfort. Zhao Haoran was sure he was going to regret it, but he didn’t mention how Zhao Aang had dislocated Madam Shu’s arm and possibly broke her nose. No, he’d save that for if the man had questions about her appearance. “Then she gave her Sun He’s poison again. So without the use of her core to accelerate her healing she will not be awake till the following week.”

Lei Yu took that news in with a bitter, vengeful feeling. “Good,” he said, firm on that. “It’s what she deserves. How long will the poison last?”

“Two weeks without her core, and if she misbehaves then she will remain in that state. Then she will most likely awake in Yiling or in hell.” Zhao Haoran said, murmuring the last part. “Those are Zhao XIn’s words not mine.”

“If you do kill her, make sure if she wakes up, she’s already entombed,” Lei Yu said, cold and unfeeling. “She’s killed enough people and hurt even more. She has used her  _ qi  _ to influence me and others. Her every breath is an insult to all of us that have had to survive her. My only concern is that hell won’t want her and will send her back.”

Zhao Haoran’s throat went dry and his heart skipped a beat. He’d kept a lot of his thought processes tucked away but to see this side of Lei Yu made him realize just how even more they were compatible. He flushed as the thought of kissing the man was on his mind. Zhao Haoran cleared his throat and went to get his inner robe. “I doubt that they would. She is a bully and in hell there are demons she can’t make bow to her.” He turned around as he put it on. 

Lei Yu nodded and softened, standing slowly and swaying over to him with the next layers of robes. He held them out so Zhao Haoran could fold into them, his bitterness fading as he realized he could do this. Dress someone, for no other reason than to want to. That, and Zhao Haoran was shorter than Shen Guanyu had been, which made him the perfect height to help.

Tucking the robes in place on Zhao Haoran’s body, he moved around him to smooth down each crease and fold, then tied the sash for him. “Speaking of bowing,” he murmured, his eyes flicking to that little kissing spot. He gently touched it with his thumb, cradling the side of Zhao Haoran’s head in doing so. “I’m curious if you notice A-Xiu’s  _ kiss mark  _ from her past life. It’s on the back of her right hand. I told her it was because she was a princess and many people kissed her hand in reverence.”

“I did and she should have a matching one on her other hand. A-Xiu is smart, talented, and has her father’s natural charm.” Zhao Haoran praised her as he leaned into the touch with his hot cheeks. The desire to still kiss him being there. He enjoyed being helped in getting ready. “You have one there in the center of your neck and on the inside of your wrist.”

Lei Yu didn’t miss the flustered heat in Zhao Haoran’s eyes and blushed himself, though only stepped in all the closer, using his height to his advantage. He smiled to see the flash of Zhao Haoran swallowing hard, but the man didn’t step away, so neither did he, and he offered him a smile. “I suppose I’ll have them in my next life too,” he said, leaning down. “I like being kissed there.”

He kissed the spot under Zhao Haoran’s eye and pulled back just enough to see him go redder. “And I will make sure you have a proper mark in yours,  _ A-Ran.” _

Zhao Haoran’s heart was about to beat right out his chest when Lei Yu had stepped into his space. Then he had to go and say those words? He prayed to any god that’d listen that the man had mercy on him when the man would be in love with him. He blinked and his face felt hotter than before after the kiss. “I...I...y-yes you will.” He responded, his shoulders turtling a bit at him behaving sheepishly.

Lei Yu pulled back more, a bit startled at the stammering, and came to a surprising thought. “Most who desire me wish to take control,” he said and lifted Zhao Haoran’s face back up, eyes curious as he searched the man’s gaze. “But you… you almost seem like you’d rather  _ I  _ devour  _ you.” _

Zhao Haoran swallowed hard. Because that was the truth. He didn’t want control over Lei Yu. Zhao Haoran enjoyed being led by his partners intimately rather than leading. It was something that’d alway dumbfounded his previous partner’s because he was a Zhao. Most Zhao’s were known for their leadership and being in control all the time. “ _ Yes _ , I do and I think I’ll take back my words. I think  _ I _ might cry if..when we are together.” 

Lei Yu smiled at that, not used to being in the leading position, but it was a nice feeling, knowing the man would trust him with that sort of power. And that had him kissing that spot again but lingering. Feeling the shaking breath he got for it made him a little more bold.

“May I kiss you?” he asked and his hand slid down the man’s cheek so his thumb could once more press to the man’s lips, that way ZHao Haoran would know what he meant. “I do not wish to cheapen something you find value in.”

“Lei Yu, your kisses are worth everything from the ones on my marking place to my lips and everywhere in between.” Zhao Haoran answered, firmly, “And you can kiss me anytime and anywhere.”

“And you may do the same,” Lei Yu said before cupping ZHao Haoran’s face and pulling him into a kiss. It was soft and curious, and he delighted in the way Zhao Haoran’s breath hitched against his mouth when he left the barest nibble on his lower lip. “Anywhere.”

Zhao Haoran felt a shiver of want go down his spine at the nibble to his lip. His eyes had slid shut again and it felt like time had stopped. He could hear the beating of his heart in his ears. He slowly opened his eyes to meet the other’s gaze. A smile blooming on his face as his gaze flicked back to Lei Yu’s lips. Did he wait? Or did he let this feeling work it;s way out that was settling in his heart and mind. He licked his lips knowing he’d settle for the latter. “Thank you.” He reached up to gently cup Lei Yu’s cheek to guide the man back down to him. He held the man’s gaze once more before leaning to kiss him. It was just as gentle as the one that’d been given to him. 

He didn’t nibble on Lei Yu’s lip. He just leaned back enough to rest his forehead against Lei Yu’s as he breathed when they parted. Lei Yu let him, soaking in the sweet gesture he’d only felt with his daughter. Zhao Haoran was warm and welcoming, and Lei Yu could feel something shift in the moment as they simply stood together. Understanding, acceptance…  _ trust. _

“I… think I am ready to start trusting you now,” Lei Yu breathed out in a plea, a soft vow. “Please don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t, husband.” Zhao Haoran breathed out. He still hasn’t moved and he was sure the other probably didn’t enjoy being hunched over. Besides he could feel Lei Xiulan’s core coming closer. “May I have one last kiss for luck?” He tilted his face up not for his lips but his mark. 

Lei Yu managed a soft huff of a laugh and kissed the spot obediently. He could hear his daughter’s giggling in his sitting rooms, as well as Zhao Mei talking softly, and knew it was time to go. But he didn’t move very fast, oddly content like this, and left one more kiss there before finally pulling away. He wasn’t dressed still, he realized. He angled a smile at the man.

“What should I wear today, husband?” he asked, opening up his wardrobe. “How much work do you think we’ll be doing by hand?”

“What about the brown and mauve set? Those allow movement and I am thinking light duty. We will be marking the walls and floor.” Zhao Haoran answered, then realized he hadn’t asked him what he liked to wear? “But a better question is what colors do  _ you  _ like to wear and not? What you don’t like to wear we can either give away or donate to the orphanage to be taken apart and given to the children.” 

Lei Yu chuckled and grabbed the brown and mauve set of robes. “Thankfully, that’s an easy question to answer,” he said, gesturing to his wardrobe. “Do you notice something, husband? All the dull, natural colors? This is my personal wardrobe. These are all my favorite robes, what I feel most safe and comfortable in. That one, on the other hand….” He pointed across the room, near his vanity, where a second wardrobe sat, newer, with a smell on it that seemed different from the rest of the room. “Open that up and you’ll see the difference. Let’s just say I don’t like those. The way they look, feel, or smell.”

“Alright then they’ll be gone when we get back.” Zhao Haoran stated with a smile. “I like these colors on you too.” He gently tugged on the mauve sash of the inner robe. They brought out his eyes and skin. He looked healthier in them. “Then we can talk about wedding robes too. See the different options.” 

“For some reason, I haven’t even thought of the robes. I’ve thought of marriage to you, but not the robes,” Lei Yu realized with a surprised blink, though he found his eyes landing on that second wardrobe again, as though his brain was trying to help him find the right answer. “Probably… because  _ she  _ always just presented me with robes. I know she was about to commission me a set of wedding robes, too. She was going to  _ claim  _ me the moment her mourning period was done.”

Zhao Haoran knew he’d be handsome in the bold red robes of marriage but it didn’t have to be that way. They didn’t have to go by tradition if Lei Yu didn’t want too. “We don’t have to stand on transitions. We can keep our marriage to paper and just continue to enjoy our lives if you want.” Zhao Haoran offered not minding what the man chose. 

‘No, no. I want the ceremony,” Lei Yu told him quickly, with a bit of a blush. “It will bring your family together, and I know A-Xiu will be thrilled. It’s just a new thought process, being able to get my own fine clothes. Perhaps we can look at a set together? And A-Xiu too,” he added, knowing his daughter would want to be a part of that. “That feels important, the three of us finding our wedding robes together.”

“Of course. Would you like us to visit our silk house or have our tailor come to us “ Zhao Haoran asked, feeling his heart swell at the mention of the wedding being a family time. Because it was and there would be a lot of family around. Perhaps then Lei Yu would understand that they aren’t alone and Madam Shu’s hold was small. 

Lei Yu blinked owlishly at him for a long moment. Long enough to be rather telling, he thought in mortification, but he couldn’t help it. The words were startling. “I… can leave?” he asked, dumbly. “The manor, I mean? I… I can actually go out?”

“Of course you can, husband.” Zhao Haoran responded, mortified in his own right for the man. Of course the woman wouldn’t have let him leave the grounds. He knew too much and she desired him. “If you like after we finish doing our plotting why don’t we do that? Have a small picnic and go through the small market where we can pick up some things for the rooms or ourselves?” 

Lei Yu blushed, hoping he didn’t look too eager. “Yes, please, we-”

“Ba _ ba!  _ You’re so slow!” Lei Xiulan poked her head in, obviously tired of being distracted. She looked at them, pleased they seemed at least close to being ready to go, and hurried over, a bright grin on her face and her fishtail braid swinging proudly. “Lookit, Ran- _ shu!”  _ she said, twirling so he could see her sunflower robes. “Aren’t they cute! And look, look! I am fishy now too!” She showed him her braid with a toothy grin.

“Most beautiful fish in all of Meishan and look, you even have a pretty tail.” Zhao Haoran winked at her as he knelt to be on her level since they were close to the door. “ Now, I need you to do me a favor? Do you think that you can? If you do then baba and I have a surprise for you.“

“A surprise?” Her eyes were immediately wide and excited. “Yes, Ran- _ shu!  _ I am good at favors!”

“Yes a surprise and the favor I need is for you to listen to  _ baba _ and I as you help us design our new rooms. This means no wandering off and the stairs aren’t for playing right now, alright?” Zhao Haoran stated, not sure how well Madam Shu allowed the west wing to be taken care of. Apparently she’d not been good at maintaining the residence as she liked to brag about. 

“I’m a good helper,” she nodded happily. “Helping means listening, baba says so!”

“That’s right, and you are a great listener,” Lei Yu praised, quick to encourage her. She preened under his words. “And we don’t need you falling down the stairs, so always have Miss Pretty or one of us with you on them, okay?”

“Okay, baba,” she said with another nod, then giggled as she hugged Zhao Haoran. “I’ll be the best helper, Ran- _ shu, _ ” she promised, pulling back grinning. “What is the surprise? Can I have it now, please?”

“Not, now sweetness. But I promise you’ll like your surprise.” Zhao Haoran hugged her back and kissed the top of her head at her giggles. “Now, let’s go see our new rooms before we move there next week.” 

  
“We’re moving?” Lei Xiulan asked, gasping as she looked to her father in confirmation.

“Just to the west side of the house,” Lei Yu was quick to assure her so she didn’t get the wrong idea, and knelt down too to take her hands and kiss them, getting a smile. “Do you want a bigger room? Bigger garden to play?”

“Are you moving too, baba?” she asked, truly concerned. It was a sad note to their life that his daughter even had to ask, but Lei Yu could at last promise her.

“Yes, I’m moving too,” he smiled and kissed her cheek. “Me and your Ran- _ shu _ . We’re all moving together.”

She nodded happily, “Together,” she hummed before ducking between them to hug them both. She gave them a squish as best she could. “I love you baba, Ran- _ shu.” _

“I love you too sweetheart.” Zhao Haoran smiled at her and pressed a kiss to her cheek as he held on to her. His free hand moving to squeeze affectionately at Lei Yu’s shoulder. “Where are your shoes?”

“Right here, Master Zhao.” Zhao Mei answered, lifting the boots. “We were just waiting till the both of you were ready.” She knelt to wait for Lei Xiulan to come back to her to put them on. 

“Love you, little fish,” Lei Yu said and, with a beaming smile, got a kiss then Lei Xiulan scampered over to get her shoes. With a chuckle, he stood and swayed, his ankle unhappy, but still he offered a hand to Zhao Haoran to help him stand. “I may have to pass on shoes,” he said, looking dubiously at his swollen foot. 

“That’s alright. Master Lei. I had them sweep the floors in case a certain fish forwent their shoes at some point.” Zhao Aang stated, popping her head in the doorway. 

“And I can carry you.” Zhao Haoran grinned, the idea of carrying the other bridal style again made him flush happily. 

“On your back. You hurt Master Lei and he’ll marry you in a sedan.” Zhao Aang’s eyes narrowed at him and Zhao Haoran swallowed. Ducking a little to tuck himself close to Lei Yu.

Lei Yu chuckled and kissed the man’s cheek, then finished tying his sash to close his robes fully. He offered his arm to Zhao Haoran. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you hurt me, or yourself. We will stand properly before all your ancestors when we take our bows together. Now, behave,” he said softly and kissed his cheek again, then smiled at Zhao Aang. “Also, I will be speaking with Mister Wu in the garden so Sun He shouldn’t be too bored. The pond has a lining of rocks and there’s a large sitting rock he can sunbathe on if he wishes.”

_ Rock...Lan-Lan… _ Sun He hissed, from where he was on Zhao Aang’s wrist and forearm. 

“I hope that was an agreement,” Lei Yu said, smiling kindly at the snake. He didn’t get the answer fully, because his daughter was quickly back and had noticed him talking to her friend.

“He-He, we’re going to the west side!” she said in excitement and tickled under his chin. “Ran- _ shu  _ says I get to help!” 

Sun He hissed again and swayed from the attention. Then happily detached from Zhao Aang and slithered up Lei Xiulan’s arm instead. 

“Yes, he approves and I am sorry for not asking. Is there a shrine you’d wish to go to for  _ your _ family?” Zhao Haoran asked, standing up and helping Lei Yu up. He tided Lei Yu’s robes then his own. “And I doubt he’ll be bored with Mister Wu. I caught him staring at one of his mice in the garden this morning when he was sunbathing in the tree.” 

_ Was-a not-t. _ Sun He hissed. 

“You saw the mices?” Lei Xiulan gasped excitedly, grinning at the snake and effectively ruining his argument. “Aren’t they cute? Meep, meep!”

Lei Yu smiled fondly at her, but shook his head at Zhao Haoran’s question. “I don’t have any family. I was given to the theatre as a baby, I don’t know who my mother or father were. So the only family I’ll be honoring is the one I know, which is yours, and A-Xiu’s,” he added, smiling down at his giggling daughter. “I’d like to add her mother to the home shrine if that would be alright?”

“Of course it is. I’ll have Zhao Ju Di get everything taken care of for us.” Zhao Haoran nodded, lifting the taller man’s hand up to press a kiss to the back of his hand. “We shall visit her often and if it pleases you we will add a small one here for you both to speak with her.” 

“Thank you,” Lei Yu said to that, then his eyes were back on his daughter, who was still chirping like a mouse. “A-Xiu, are you ready?”

“Yes!” she said immediately and tucked Sun He close so he could be warm. “Come on, He-He, let’s go on an adventure!”

_ Go, go Lan-Lan. _ Sun He hissed and Zhao Haoran laughed lifting Lei Yu’s hand to kiss it again. 

“Do you want to walk or may I carry you?” Zhao Haoran asked, smiling brightly at him. 

“I can walk there,” Lei Yu said, amused at his enthusiasm. “You can carry me back. I’m sure my foot will be even more angry than it is now.”

“And I can massage it too.” Zhao Haoran grinned mischievously. Then offered his arm for Lei Yu. He preened when the taller man took his arm. He created one of his rats that hopped from his hand multiplied before heading to where they needed to go. One of his dumbo rats stayed though, leading the way to the west wing.

“Speaking of, I never got to massage your neck,” Lei Yu mused, following along with a smile, especially as Lei Xiulan ran after the rats in excitement. “Perhaps… tonight I may?” he asked softly. “If you wouldn’t mind sharing my room again. We can also go over the blueprints before we sleep.”

“I...i-yes. I would like that very much.” Zhao Haoran stammered a bit. He ran his hand through his bangs and blushed. “And some of our wedding details.” 

Lei Yu nodded, though went quiet as they moved across to the west side of the manor. He was surprised at how quickly the echos came, the ghosts of Shen Guanyu and his dogs in the corner of his eye. He almost felt like any second the pack of slobbering brutes would round the corner as Shen Guanyu yelled at them to behave, their happy whines as they mobbed Lei Xiulan for kisses scaring Lei Yu to death. But of course, it was all empty. Shen Guanyu was nothing more than a shadow he felt against his heart, the dogs long gone to their new home. The garden, when they stepped down into it, seemed… far too empty, and he turned his head to those ruined spots, chasing the past with a lump in his throat.

The idea that had only been two weeks since the garden had been closed, and only a week since Shen Guanyu himself had been found dead in the street was almost too hard to believe. Lei Yu hadn’t realized he was staring at the far side of the garden until he felt Zhao Haoran gently tug on his arm and he blinked, the ghosts quieting. “Sorry.” 

“It’s alright. You have memories here. I was always escorted to the southern wing to visit father and Yu-ge always met me in the main hall after he took over the manor.” Zhao Haoran stated, respectfully. He gently pulled the man closer to him and pressed a kiss to his jaw because he didn’t lean up on his toes. 

“Will you be alright if we go in now? Or do you want more time.” Zhao Haoran asked, smiling softly. 

“I…” Lei Yu started, then stopped, not sure what he wanted, only that he felt momentarily overwhelmed. Thankfully, a distraction stepped through the side gate as though hearing his cries… well,  _ two  _ distractions, one of which he hadn’t expected to see.

Neither had Lei Xiulan, who was already booking it across the grass to say hello. “Teacher Wu!”

Wu Baixian sighed as he saw her coming, all fondness as he shuffled the already tidy pile of papers in his arms all the tidier. He bowed, prim and proper, though she didn’t stop, just hugged his leg, bypassing the bowing altogether. “My little lady. I see you’re enjoying your freedom from the classroom today.”

She just giggled and peeked around him at the other man, who was leaning on his walking stick with a warm, lazy smile under his gardener’s hat. “Mister Wu!” she beamed. “Meep, meep!”

Wu Rushi bowed his head to her, not nearly as proper as Wu Baixian had, not that she cared. “Little mouse,” he drawled, his rural accent rather shocking compared to Wu Baixian’s, which was the cultured, precise cadence of upper Meishan and Yunmeng. “I see you’ve tamed a viper.”

“Yes! His name is He-He and he’s my friend!” she said, kissing the snake on the head. 

_ Friend, Lan-Lan. _ Sun He preened under the kiss. It slithered around to catch sight of Wu Rushi. He had not been truthful about not watching the mice in the garden. He had because the  _ qi  _ spoke to his curse. It was a stirring that he hadn’t experienced besides Zhao Aang. 

“It’s good they are here. I know we hadn’t talked about the first floor but I think I am going to move the classrooms. Yours and his input is needed.” Zhao Haoran said, softly grinning as he blushed when Lei Yu looked at him a little dumbfounded. “I don’t like her classrooms so far away when they can be with us. I’m used to having everyone together. I hope that’s okay.” 

“Of course,” Lei Yu said, having already thought about that. “However…”

“All due respect,” Wu Baixian started, just as Lei Yu knew he would, and though the man was stern and proper as always, there was a tick of irritation in his eyes that his glasses didn’t hide fully. Lei Yu did his best to bite down a laugh. “But Madam Shu won’t be… around, will she?” he asked, delicately, and it sounded like every word was a physical pain. “She has made her…  _ preferences  _ in regards to my little lady’s education and myself quite clear.”

“What he means is that when the classroom was on this side of the house, she sat in on his lessons and contradicted everything he said,” Lei Yu explained, and that twitch in Teacher Wu’s eye only got worse.

“Not that I can’t work like that,” Wu Baixian was quick to say, ever the professional, “but it’s hardly conducive for learning, and I think we all agree that my little lady’s education takes precedent here.”

Zhao Haoran tried to hold back his laughter and thankfully he was successful. The poor teacher looked like he was about to pop a vein to keep from sharing his dislike for the previous head of household. He took a deep breath and looped his arm through Lei Yu’s casually. 

“Teacher Wu, my husband approves of your teaching our daughter. His careful consideration of whom teaches her speaks volumes of your skill. As per the discussions with Zhao Ju Di, I am sure you’ve realized that he is in control now of her education. We employ you to teach; if  _ we _ could do better you wouldn’t be here. As for the classroom, all due respect.” He chuckled finally because he couldn’t keep a serious face. “I wanted to move the classroom already here to the west side because it’s bigger and  _ your  _ possible teachers office is separate from your actual living quarters. I wanted your opinion with Lei Yu’s to see if it’s the appropriate classroom space or if I’m being too excessive.” 

“For which he is good for.” Zhao Aang murmured, came to stand beside Zhao Mei, which was off to the side from Lei Yu and Zhao Haoran. Her eyes brightened with amusement.

It was a bit like a switch, her voice. Wu Baixian startled to see her, since she’d just suddenly appeared beside them and he bowed, a quick blush on his face. “I… I am aware of my position in his household, Master Zhao,” he managed with the barest stammer, which was gone with a quick clearing of his throat, though he did adjust his glasses. The sight had a slow, amused smile spreading over Wu Rushi’s face that he ignored very pointedly. “I am willing to adapt to any area as long as… well.”

“As long as that backwards, superstitious toad of a woman is not here,” Wu Rushi said helpfully and Wu Baixian looked at him in open horror. “What? Isn’t that what you called her?”

“I… may have,” Wu Baixian sputtered, fidgeting worse now, though he glared when Wu Rushi chuckled low. “But that is hardly something to say in front of our  _ masters _ ,  _ gege.” _

“They’re laughing. You’re laughing,” Wu Rushi said to them, and when Lei Yu nodded he shrugged, leaning ever more on his stick. “No harm done.”

“Still,” Wu Baixian muttered and thrust the papers in his hand at Lei Yu. “Master Lei, the monthly lesson plans are ready for your perusal.”

“Thank you, Teacher Wu,” Lei Yu said in deep amusement as he took the lesson plans with a smile. Wu Baixian truly was a master of his craft, polite and wise, but he was also their age, young, with a thin face. It was all too fun to tease him, and it was clear his brotherly bond with Wu Rushi was thick with it.

Wu Baixian bowed deeply to him, then to Zhao Haoran and Zhao Aang, his blush turning more shy. “And I will be happy to look over the space, Master Zhao. Anything you need.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” Zhao Haoran smiled and leaned his head for a moment on Lei Yu’s shoulder as he peered at the papers. As they looked at them, Zhao Aang approached looping her arm through Wu Baxian’s. 

“And to answer your earlier question, the hag isn’t coming anywhere near here. She’s confined to her rooms and currently sleeping like the dead thanks to Sun He.” Zhao Aang grinned, patting his arm gently, making her jade bangles jingle with her earrings, then turned her attention to Zhao Haoran. “Shall we?” 

“Oh, yes, are you ready husband? A-Xiu?” Zhao Haoran looked over at Lei Xiulan. “Now remind me what do we not play on?” 

“Stairs!” she giggled, especially as her Teacher Wu turned into an incoherent mess at the sudden touches. “Teacher Wu is a tomato!”

The sight had Wu Rushi chuckling too, though he didn’t move to go with them. Taking the cue, Lei Yu checked the papers in his hand and realized half the stack were plans for the garden. “Sorry, husband, I need to speak with Mister Wu first, so he can get started on his own work. But how about you all go, and I’ll join you when I’m done?” he offered, peering down mostly at Lei Xiulan, who was already raring to go upstairs, and the snake with her. “Sun He, did you wish to stay out here with me a bit longer? I did promise you a good sunbathing rock.”

_ Lan-Lan, I...s-s-stay. Pleas-se. _ Sun He hissed to her. 

“Of course, husband.” Zhao Haoran easily untangled his arm but not before kissing Lei Yu’s hand. He chuckled at how the little girl happily answered the man’s request by taking Sun He over to Wu Rushi.

“He-He needs a warm sunny rock!” the little girl explained and Wu Rushi gently took Sun He with a serious nod to her. “Be sure to listen when he asks, and be nice, He-He is my friend!”

“I will find him the best rock and be the most careful with him,” he promised and pat her head when she hugged his leg then ran back towards Zhao Haoran. She took her uncle’s hand and all but dragged him to the doors.

“Come on, Ran- _ shu!  _ Teacher Wu!”

Zhao Haoran laughed guiding her inside with Zhao Aang leading Wu Baxian inside. As they went inside there was a man made pond that’d been emptied. That’d need to be refilled and he’d put koi there for his niece. Instead of just his mice, Zhao Aang’s scorpions were out and about too. 

“Ignore them, they are checking for repairs. They won’t harm you.” Zhao Aang stated to Wu Baxian. As they stepped past the empty pond to the first row of rooms to the left. 

“This is some kind of hall? Maybe it was a dining hall or performance hall at one time?” Zhao Haoran suggested, opening the big doors. The room was spacious with some silk dividers that could be easily moved. The other wall also opened to the inner garden. So the good spring and summer breezes would be able to flow in. “The one on the other side of the staircase is half this size being split with teachers quarters and office.” 

Wu Baixian was still blushing, but nodded, considering the space with a critical eye. While a part of him was reluctant to give up his rooms, he knew this would be the smarter choice, a bigger area to grow with his student. Her educational needs would expand as she got older, and he’d already committed himself for the long haul. If this was where Master Zhao wanted him to teach, then he would.

“It will do nicely,” he assured Zhao Haoran. “And with the garden nearby, it’ll be easier to take her outside to train. I don’t believe all learning happens indoors, after all. She’s young and learns through play. I am here to teach, but also to guide. What works best for her is what I’ll do.”

“What do you think, sweetness? Do you like this room for you and Teacher Wu to learn?” Zhao Haoran asked, letting her go to look through the room as the scorpions faded letting them know the room was clear of any unstable boards.

Lei Xiulan offered her hand to Wu Baixian, who took it with a soft smile that made his stern exterior warm considerably. He let her pull him along to see the rooms and waited for her approval, which she gave enthusiastically. “We can put all your books there, Teacher Wu!” she said and it wasn’t even a bad spot. “No more squishing in!”

He chuckled and nodded, resolved to put his books there. “You’re right, my little lady. They will fit well here and be out of the way. And,” he said, pointing to the side door. “We can go to the garden for your outside lessons. No more having to walk by the haunted rooms.”

‘Yes!” she gasped, which was what sold her. She turned her big eyes on Zhao Haoran. “Can Teacher Wu move in now, please?”

“He will the day before we do. So you’re not behind on your lessons unless your  _ baba _ and Teacher Wu are in agreement that you can help him unpack.” Zhao Haoran answered with a smile. “In fact, A-Aang, take Teacher Wu to where his new rooms would be.” 

“Yes, Master Zhao.” Zhao Aang started, gently pulling Wu Baxian towards the next room. “Now this used to be a sitting room but with the right dividers I am sure Master Wu can make it habitable for his person.” 

“Sweetness, while they do that do you want to go see the possible new family room? Help me come up with a surprise for baba?” Zhao Haoran asked. 

The idea of a surprise had Lei Xiulan bouncing after him. “Yes, yes! Okay!” 

In some distress, Wu Baixian realized he was being left on his own with the rather terrifyingly beautiful Zhao woman. He swallowed and did his best to hold composure. “If I don’t, my mother will,” he said, mostly because it was true, and he was smiling despite himself as he looked around the empty space. His mother was a farmer’s wife, and happily so, but he knew how much she liked filling her home with memories and organizing them differently practically every other month. She’d helped him set up his smaller room in the east wing. With more room to work with, he had a feeling she’d descend upon the area like a hurricane. “She’s an avid decorator.”

Zhao Aang chuckled warmly as she let her arm slip from his to go to the curtains that were hanging. She pulled them back to reveal more paper rice doors. She slid one open to let in the air. “I look forward to meeting her then.” She leaned in the doorway and looked back at him. “What do you think?” The room was spacious with some shelves on one side.

“I think it’s nice,” he said, for once in his life struggling to find proper words.  _ Nice?  _ Surely, he could do better than that! But then her dark eyes were on him again and he felt his mind turn to mush. Gods, how embarrassing. “I will be comfortable.”

“Good. I think I will be comfortable upstairs with the other ladies.” Zhao Aang chuckled, pushing off the door frame to go over to the shelves. “Do you read for leisure or just for studies?” She lightly traced the edge of the shelf. 

“I…” What was happening? Why could he hear his brother laughing? He wasn’t even here! Gods, he was  _ alone.  _ “I… uh. Both?” It was the least eloquent he’d been in his life and he was appalled at himself. “Do you, uh… read?”

“And write, and arithmetic.” Zhao Aang giggled, turning her gaze on Wu Baxian. “I assure you Teacher Wu that this one is properly educated. Zhao’s waste not in educating our brothers and sisters.” 

“I didn’t doubt it,” he said quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “I applied for schooling in the Zhao Headquarters when I was thirteen, but that year we had bad flooding and I couldn’t go because I had to help my family,” he admitted. “Your family is a well known criminal entity, it’s true, but it is also a hope for education to those of us born poor. If I hadn’t had the chance to go to the MishanYu Sect School for training, I would have gone back to the Zhaos to reapply.”

“Ah, yes. I too was from a farming family. Unfortunately not as loving. They were plotting to sell me to a brothel nearby. I left and met Zhao Xin. She is a born Zhao. She took me in with her and I’ve not looked back.” Zhao Aang stated nonchalantly. Her hair moving in the breeze jingling her dangling earrings. “It would have been a pleasure to have met you sooner but now is just as good. Would like to see your office?”

“Please.” Wu BaiXian gestured for her to lead on, slightly more soothed by her words if only because it finally let him think around the mushy confusion she caused. “I may be a man of logic and arithmetic, but I still believe things happen for a reason. That everything happens as it was meant to.”

And it was true. As much as watching Lei Yu suffer this last year had been torturous, it had paved the way for Zhao Haoran to take over and make such a difference. In three days, Wu Baixian had seen Lei Yu come more alive than he’d had since he’d been hired to teach. “I have to believe that, or all the suffering we’ve endured will have been pointless. While knowing your company would have been a blessing sooner, my dear lady, I have to say you were all still on time. You came when Master Lei needed you all the most. For that I will be forever grateful.”

“Suffering like Master Lei and young Mistress Lei’s does have meaning. To show that the world isn’t all heartless and that they are worthy of it because they are human. Kindness doesn’t need to be earned. It should be freely given.” Zhao Aang said, though there was a bit of sadness to her words. She still remembered what had happened when her Step-Uncle had inherited her aunt’s residence. The man’s children were monsters. “I am grateful for your excellent teachings of our young Mistress. She is bright and will have a strong core like Master Zhao.” 

She looped her arm through Wu Baixian’s arm again to lead him to his office. One of her scorpions was on the handle but faded away as she opened the door for him to step in. She’d heard from Zhao Xin that this room had been an actual store of books. So they’d merely dusted them and made sure that they weren’t damaged. “The desk is being built. I hope you don’t mind me taking my time.” Zhao Aang stated, gesturing for him to go on in. Her remaining scorpions lit the candles giving some light before fading too.

“I don’t mind,” Wu Baixian told her, taking in the space and trying to picture the room as he’d like it. He was content to see it was simple, but large enough to be comfortable. “And you do not need to send your scorpions away. I don’t mind them either,” he added, blushing a little.

Zhao Aang smiled at that returning to his side. “I’m relocating them to the other rooms and staircase to make sure all is safe for us. I cannot allow us to work and live here without being safe.” Zhao Aang walked around the room. Her soft black muslin and silk robes swishing as she walked. It was then that a sliver of her bare foot could be seen as she stepped onto the raised flooring that she felt would be perfect for the desk that she was building for the man. She was sure that he hadn’t realized what she’d meant. 

“But since you asked so nicely.” Zhao Aang let one of her scorpions take form on his shoulder. Then she turned around. “I think this would be the perfect spot for your desk.”

Her enthusiasm was charming, and though he still felt shy, stepped down to see what she meant, a hand gently petting the top of the glittering scorpion. “It would fit well here,” he agreed, taking in the space again. “This may seem silly to say, but I hope it’s still big enough. After moving my things once, which I hadn’t believed to be too much, I realized how deceiving it all is. I can barely fit everything in my office as is, and some of my books are still in the trunk.”

“Hand.” Zhao Aang requested, holding out her hand as she stepped in front him. A big smile on her face. What the man didn’t know was that there were panels that opened to more shelves. That's why Zhao Haoran had chosen it. Especially after she told he had a core. He could keep his most precious books in there if needed. 

He blushed and stammered something incoherent, but obediently enough handed her his hand. For all he put on a cool exterior - at least most of the time - he was warm, his core strong and steady, though his heart was a galloping  _ mess.  _

“Thank you,  _ Teacher Wu _ .” Zhao Aang stated, trying to hold back the laughter bubbling up at his blushing. She gently maneuvered his hand and guided him to the wall. Her  _ qi _ followed through his hand and she slid the hand down the panel. It opened revealing built in bookcases. “Some walls are deceiving or for precious things.” 

His eyes widened in childish delight. When he was a child, he’d made a “false wall” in his mom’s pantry to hide all her very valuable spices, which had come in handy when they were robbed. It meant they’d had to sell the spices, but the money had kept them from ruin, and his mother still had it. 

He’d always wanted one for himself, and now he had it. He didn’t realize he was grinning until he heard Zhao Aang giggled and he blushed, pulling back into himself. “That’s… uh. Yes. thank you. This will work even better. At least I’ll have room for my books.”

“Plenty of room since there are six just like this. I am sure you’ll have fun finding them.” Zhao Aang teased him. She let her hand slip from his. “You’ll be the only staff on this floor. Everyone will be up stairs.” 

“That’s fine,” he assured, because it was, though he’d perked up all over again at the idea of  _ seven hidden bookcases.  _ “As I said before, whatever is easiest and the best for my little lady is what I’ll do. If I had to make my home on the roof, I’d do it for her.”

“I would do the same.” Zhao Aang approved walking to the window’s pulling the curtain back. “I like the lighting of this side compared to the left…” She trailed off as she felt Zhao Haoran touching one of her scorpions to let her know that he was ready for them to return if they wanted to join them. “Would you like to linger here or in the classroom or do you want to join them going upstairs?”

“Uh…” Wu Baixian honestly wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to be rude, but he also didn’t want to intrude upon family time, and he  _ had  _ promised his brother he’d help him with the garden. “I think I’ll go back to my  _ ge-ge,”  _ he decided and bowed to her, his cheeks red under the rim of his glasses. “Thank you for showing me these rooms. I… hope to see you again soon, Miss…?”

“I am Miss Zhao Aang to which you can just call me Zhao Aang, Teach Wu. Enjoy your time with your brother.” Zhao Aang responded, walking to the doorway to give him a moment to collect himself before he went to his brother. 

Wu Baixian bowed to her again, red faced, and did take a moment to scold himself once he was alone. He paced a little while, just breathing, then walked back out to the garden. He was unsurprised to see his brother still going over the blueprints he’d drawn, pointing to certain spots of the garden, though he was leaning a little too much on his stick for Wu Baixian’s liking, and Lei Yu too had shifted all his weight on one foot so the wrapped one wasn’t touching the ground.

He huffed at both of them, completely forgetting he still had Zhao Aang’s scorpion on his shoulder. “If you’re going to take all day, you might as well sit, master Lei,  _ ge-ge,”  _ he fussed at them and fluttered his hands to get them to move to the low table nestled in a slightly overgrown bush. Once they were sitting, he called for tea and primly sat down, like they were having tea in the Imperial gardens of yore.

Wu Rushi and Lei Yu both had identical faces of amusement, making him huff. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s bad for your hip,  _ ge-ge,”  _ he chided, then narrowed his eyes at Lei Yu. “And don’t think I didn’t see that wrapped foot, Master Lei. it’ll be a swollen mess if you don’t rest and we don’t want to worry the little lady, nor Master Zhao.”

With that, he sipped his tea, content to be in the right, and gestured for them to continue, though still pet the scorpion when he remembered it, a happy blush on his face.

Wu Rushi rolled his eyes fondly, but he was honestly grateful to be sitting. “As I was saying,” he said, pointing to the blueprint once Lei Yu set it down, “the gardener Madam Shu hired didn’t know what he was doing. I assume he laid everything out in accordance to what she wanted, but if you actually  _ know  _ the flowers, you’d know they’d need to be shifted around for maximum bloomage and shade.”

Lei Yu nodded and sipped his tea. “I put it in your hands,” he told the gardener with all confidence. A full shift around had happened in his garden too and though he couldn’t hear the flowers, the garden had been an endless delight of colors and scent all year round. “If you need any extra help, let me know. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you,” Wu Rushi said cheerfully, then his eyes flicked down to the snake around his wrist, no doubt enjoying the warmth his core supplied. “And actually, there’s another little problem I have, one I could use  _ your  _ help on, Master Sun.”

_ S-sunflowers….  _ Sun He hissed, thinking about how happy Lie Xiulan was about her sunflowers on her gown. He slithered around more of Wu Rushi’s wrist. He’d been happily lounging around the man’s wrist. The warmth from the sun and from his sun kissed skin was nice. The thrum of Wu Rushi’s core was nice too and kept him lul to content.  _ Hel-lps? I can-ns… _

“Sunflowers?” Wu Baixian asked, catching that much.

“For the little lady,” Wu Rushi explained, a soft, lazy smile on his face. “There’s sunflowers, Master He,” he promised, then chuckled as he thought of the problem he’d been pulled in on that morning. “You see, our late Lord Shen had a pack of dogs that had full range of the gardens and inner courtyard. That meant they could get to the storehouse for the grain and chase the mice in there. Now that they’re gone, we’ve had a happy little mice colony move in. Miss Tseng is at her limits. She’s had to repair seven bags.”

“Can’t you just call them out?” Wu Baixian asked, honestly surprised that his brother’s gift of talking to animals hadn't worked.

“Would  _ you  _ move if you had no predators in your neighborhood and the giant telling you to leave can’t even get to you?” Wu Rushi asked back. The face his brother made had him chuckling.

“Fair enough...”

“Where are they? Hopefully not near the roof again,” Lei Yu mused, curious. There were plenty of places to hide in the storage room and he remembered a few years back they’d had to knock a mouse nest off a high shelving area, but many of the mice had escaped into the roof itself, perfectly out of the way of the traps, cats, and dogs. 

“There’s a case of shelves where we store the pots,” Wu Rushi explained and looked down at Sun He. “When it was put in, it wasn’t pushed completely to the wall, so they’ve made their nest between the back of the case and the wall. Got to be about a dozen mice in there now. That’s why I could use your help, Master He,” he added with that same lazy smile. It made his core pulse and his body all the warmer, like it was laughing even though the man himself was not. “You’ll fit perfectly and they need a predatory scare to get them to move. Nature’s law and all that. Hopefully, you can get them all the way outside, and you may eat any you catch.”

_ Wills...for chimes… _ Sun He hissed, liking the way the man spoke and would have blushed if he’d been human. Wu Rushi was handsome. It was one of the times he really wished he could be a shifter that was cursed but no. He was stuck in this form. Sun He would have sighed but just wrapped himself some more.

Wu Rushi could feel his sadness and smiled all the more, hoping to ease his mood. “Wind chimes? I can do that,” he promised and even tipped his hat to the snake, all charm. “Thank you very much. Miss Tseng thanks you too. It’s been a downright war zone over there.”

“I was wondering what she was doing with that broom,” Wu Baixian chuckled lightly. “She did look ready to commit a homicide.”

“She should just leave her water chestnuts out. Surely they’d leave from all the salt? If not downright die on the spot,” Lei Yu threw out there, and preened a tiny bit when both men laughed. He didn’t have many friends in this place, but the Wu brothers were as close as he’d gotten and he greatly enjoyed being with them. 

“What even are the point of those things?” Wu Baixian asked, making a face, the barest hint of his original accent peeking through his elegant voice.

“My husband asked the same,” Lei Yu huffed a laugh. “I couldn’t tell you.”

_ Nic-ce withs beansss… _ Sun He hissed, having felt welcomed especially with how friendly the Wu brothers and Lei Yu. He squashed down any further thoughts of being human. This was the form he’d be the rest of his life. So he rest his head on the back of Wu Rushi’s hand.

“Mm, i’d have to agree with you, Master He,” Wu Rushi said. “They  _ are  _ good with beans. And ginger.”

“How are we related?” Wu Baixian asked, getting that lazy grin.

“Well, you see, when a mother and father love each other very much -”

“ _ Ge-ge!”  _ Bright red, Wu Baixian turned into a sputtering mess and Lei Yu finally laughed, a real, hearty laugh that echoed through the garden. Wu Rushi’s laugh was lower, filling his chest, and he winked at Sun He with pride that he’d reduced his somewhat stuffy brother to incoherency.

Shyly at the wink Sun He wrapped a little tight and hissed. The end of his tail was swishing. He’d have gone down the man’s sleeve to hide but then he couldn’t because he wasn’t wearing one. He looked up and noticed the scorpion on Wu Baixian’s shoulder was moving which meant that Zhao Aang could see and hear what was happening. That made him duck his head the best he could without having to let go of Wu Rushi.

Wu Rushi looked down at him, curious, and lightly rubbed the black scales where it was a bit tight. He didn’t say it, only soothed the snake to relax back on his own.  _ You alright?  _ He asked through his git, warming him with his core.

_ Yes-s… _ Sun He hissed back, loosening his hold. He loosened up taking it as the other was uncomfortable that he nearly unraveled to slide off. 

_ I’m not uncomfortable,  _ Wu Rushi promised and lifted him up before he could slide away.  _ You can hide up here,  _ he offered and held him up to his neck, so he could tuck around his collar.

Inside, Zhao Haoran stepped outside hearing his husband laughing and wanting to hear more of it. He leaned against the doorframe in time to see Sun He wrap himself around Wu Rushi’s neck. The three were outside having tea. Zhao Mei was entertaining Lei Xiulan in the new family room. So, he felt that it was safe to leave her alone to go enjoy the moment with them. 

“How is your plotting going? By the sounds of it, it’s going well.” he teased, coming to stand beside Lei Yu. Zhao Haoran laid his hand on Lei Yu’s shoulder and gently rubbed it. “Also, how is your ankle?”

“Swollen,” Wu Baixian said before Lei Yu could shrug it off. “It’s why he’s sitting for now, Master Zhao.”

“But I’m fine,” Lei Yu promised, huffing at the other, and his smile was sweet as he looked up at Zhao Haoran. “The garden has been planned out, so I’ll be upstairs with you soon. Did you show A-Xiu the room? Did she like it?”

“Not yet.” Zhao Haoran stated, giving his husband a look. “She wanted to look at it with her  _ baba  _ too. So, we will wait till you're ready. She’s planning our formal family room right now.” He sat down and reached for his husband's legs to turn him sideways. Zhao Hao gently began to massage the man’s injured ankle. “Husband, we are going to need to ice this.” One of Zhao Haoran’s dumbo rat wraiths popped out on the table and took off for the closest staff member to go get ice. 

Lei Yu winced at the jostling and touching, but allowed Zhao Haoran to do it. “Is she planning it out like a castle?” he asked, knowing his daughter well. “It’s so big on this side, she probably thinks she is in a palace.”

“She does and she likes that the doors open to the garden. I know we talked about pools but there is an empty pond that she is excited about as we step inside. “Are you alright if we do put fish in it?” He made sure that he was careful in his motions and thanked the staff member that’d come with the ice and the rag so that he could set it on the man’s ankle. “I was thinking koi? Would you prefer something else or should we seal it up?”

“Koi,” Lei Yu said with a soft hiss as the ice was applied. He closed his eyes a moment to breathe through it. “A-Xiu loves fish. I think we should have the indoor pond so she can still enjoy them when it’s too cold outside.”

“I agree. So we will check that off the list of possible changes.” Zhao Haoran smiled thinly and lifted the ice pack up then took out a handkerchief that looked familiar , laying it over the ankle too, to keep it from being so cold. His gaze turned to the scorpion on Wu Baixian’s shoulder. “Teacher Wu, how are you feeling about your quarters and classroom?” 

“It will do nicely, Master Zhao, thank you,” Wu Baixian said, pleased to see the man was being gentle with Lei Yu and not using  _ qi.  _ He shared a look with his brother and they both nodded in acceptance of the man, then he smiled at Zhao Haoran with an easy smile that made him look his age, for once. “I’ve been informed my office has seven hidden doors. I have opened one, but I think I’ll save the rest for my little lady to help me find. It’ll be a good exercise for her core.”

“Yes it will be. Let me know if you need anything for her core lessons let me or Zhao Aang know. Of course run it through my husband first.” Zhao Haoran responded with a fond smile at seeing the brothers’ acceptance in their eyes. It made him feel welcome and he was glad to see that Sun He liked them too. 

The approval only heightened in Wu Baixian’s eyes and he bowed his head in respect. “I will.”

Lei Yu smiled at them all, glad to see them getting along. It helped distract him from his aching foot, as well as relax him. “We’ve got a bit of a battle going on in the store room, husband,” he said to Zhao Haoran, highly amused. “Apparently a large clan of mice have invaded and Miss Tseng has taken up the way of the broom to deal with the threat.”

“Ah, Sun He is the best to help us with this situation.” Zhao Haoran praised the snake. To which Sun He just ducked his head further into Wu Rushi’s collar. However, his tail still swished. “Did he ask for anything? He’s not going to eat them. Just make them leave.”

“I’ve already hired him for the job, Master Zhao,” Wu Rushi promised, patting that swishing tail lightly. “I’m paying him in wind chimes. And sunflowers,” he added, nodding down at the blueprints. “Our little mouse enjoys them and Master Sun wanted to be sure they were added to the garden. I’ll make sure they’re planted in the best space. She’ll enjoy how big they grow.”

“And the seeds,” Wu Baixian tacked on with a low hum. “Nothing better than sunflower seeds from your own flowers. Don’t cost a thing.”

“I’d have to agree,” Lei Yu chuckled softly and leaned over to press a kiss to that spot under his husband’s eye. “Do you like sunflower seeds, husband?”

“Roasted with spices is how I like them best.” Zhao Haoran answered and preened shamelessly under the kiss. “Do you like them roasted? Perhaps we can do it together when we have enough harvested?”

“I like them roasted,” Lei Yu agreed and barely winced as the ice was shifted. His ankle was finally numbing through. “Same with melon and pumpkin seeds.”

“Which we will have a good harvest of,” Wu Rushi stated, proud of his plants, and saluted Zhao Haoran and Lei Yu with his tea. “Already got the start of the fruit. Got a full garden on the rise, as well, so be expecting many fresh vegetables and fruits this summer.”

“Delicious is what it’s sounding like our meals are going to be. I like cinnamon on my pumpkin seeds.” Zhao Haoran responded, “And thank you for your hard work with the gardens.” He adjusted his hold of his husband’s ankle knowing it had to be numb by now. 

“A true pleasure, Master Zhao,” the man drawled, watching him close. He grinned to himself to see Lei Yu’s grateful smile. “I can hear animals, but plants are my true calling. I like making gardens beautiful, yes, but it’s also putting plants in places that will make them happiest. People who can’t hear them will still know their joy. That is all I want, to bring your family joy.”

“And we want you to be comfortable and happy while you are here. If you need anything please don’t hesitate to let us know.” Zhao Haoran responded, then set the ice aside to refill Lei Yu’s cup of tea. He leaned in. “Do you want to have our picnic here or do you want to go back after we go upstairs?”

“Upstairs. I’d like to get a feeling for the rooms with all of us in them,” Lei Yu told him and kissed his cheek in thanks. “And I’m sure Mister Wu is ready to get to work out here.”

“Not that I’d kick you out, Master Lei,” Wu Rushi chuckled with a twinkle in his eye.

“Of course not,” Lei Yu teased and sipped his tea in contentment. “Is the swelling down, husband?”

“Yes, it is swelled down enough for you to walk but I think that tonight I need to massage it again.” Zhao Haoran answered with a smile. “We can go upstairs once you're done with your tea. I am sure that Sweetness is wanting to go upstairs.”

Lei Yu nodded and drank slow, but steadily, and thanked the Wu brothers warmly for the tea and their help. “Sun He, did you want to come back with me, or stay out here with Mister Wu?” he asked, seeing Sun He peek out.

Sun He’s tail swished again and dipped his head back down beneath the man’s collar. He did a slight hiss.  _ N-noo _ . He hissed against Wu Rushi’s throat. The man was warm and he was very comfortable. 

“I think we’ve lost him for the rest of the day.” Zhao Haoran giggled as he stood up and helped Lei Yu up. “I can carry you if you like?”

“As long as he’s safe and warm, A-Xiu will be glad for him,” Lei Yu said, wincing as he stood. He considered how ar he needed to walk and sighed, feeling Wu Baixian giving him a pointed look without glancing at him. “...carry me? Please?” he asked after bowing to the brothers. They bowed back with the same look of amusement, which made them look related, for once, besides the fact they were both tall and thin like bean poles.

“That is true.” Zhao Haoran said, moving to gather up his husband in his arms. He stood there for a moment to let Lei Yu get comfortable. He waited a few minutes but still felt the man was stiff. He nodded to the men before walking to the entrance. “Husband, you can move to get comfortable. You can touch me and it does not mean anything other than comfort.” His voice was low so that the other two didn’t hear.

“I...I know. This is just new,” Lei Yu explained with a blush and finally moved his arms around the man’s neck. It tilted him closer to Zhao Haoran’s chest and he shivered, holding him close and trying for a lighter mood. “Okay, I’m ready. Please don’t fall over. Miss Aang told you to carry me on your back only, so if you go down, we both do.”

“I won’t. I promise.” Zhao Haoran said, leaning into the man’s flushed cheek. He loved how the man flushed more. Zhao Haoran was sure that Lei Yu could feel his pulse rising with his hand so close to his heart. “Besides, you’re light as a feather.” He stepped into the entryway and turned to allow Lei Yu to see the pond. “That’s the pond and there is the new classroom and over there where that beautiful singing is coming from is our formal family room, husband. The fun one is upstairs.” 

Lei Yu took in the singing with a bit of awe. Lei Xiulan was singing under it, a bit off tune and off beat, but obviously having the time of her life. He smiled to hear it. “Is that Miss Pretty singing?” he asked. “Or Miss Aang?”

“That is Miss Aang. Do you think Teacher Wu stands a chance? Wonder if he is noticing that the scorpion is glowing brighter?” Zhao Haoran answered, stepping closer to the family room that still very much looked like a classroom. He hoped that Lei Yu wouldn’t get upset that he’d allowed her to draw on the wall. But he’d wanted her opinion and he thought that was a good way to keep her focused. However, right now she was sitting on Zhao Mei’s lap singing along with Zhao Aang. 

“He stands zero chance,” Lei Yu breathed, enraptured by the sound and sight. His daughter looked so content, his heart ached, and his arms unconsciously tightened around Zhao Haoran as he pressed his face into the man’s neck. “Thank you,” he murmured. Knowing that made little sense. “She’s so happy, I…  _ thank you.” _

“I’d say  _ you’re welcome _ but you know what?” Zhao Haoran responded, leaning his head against Lei Yu’s. “It is mostly because of  _ you _ she’s able to enjoy right now. You’ve worked hard to preserve her happiness and not let others steal it.” He wanted the man in his arms to know how proud and supportive he was of him. 

“She is my world. I needed her to know that life could be kind, even if I was the only one giving it…” Lei Yu blushed, hiding his face now. “I wanted her to know a true, happy childhood that all little ones deserve, but so few actually get.”

“You’ve done a great job.” Zhao Haoran praised him again and held the man in his arms a little tighter. “And we will continue to give it to so she can be the best version of herself. Do you want a few more mo-....”

“Oh look what your Ran-shu brought in.” Zhao Mei’s voice cut through the moment and it was then that he realized he’d not noticed that Zhao Aang had stopped singing. He’d been too wrapped up in his husband which made him smile instead of being embarrassed. 

“Baba!” Lei Xiulan was up and hurrying over with a wide, toothy grin. “This is our new house!”

He knew that already, but he wasn’t about to remind her of that. “It looks like a castle,” he said, reaching his hand down to her. She took it with a giggle. “I told you that you were a princess.”

“Yess!” she cheered, pulling happily on his hand. “Is baba still hurt? Does he need kisses better?”

“Ran- _ shu  _ gave me kisses better, but I think I could use some more,” Lei Yu said, tapping Zhao Haoran’s shoulder so the man would put him down. He winced to be on his feet again, but was kneeling quickly enough before it could throb too badly. He kissed her hands and held out his cheek. She gave him an obedient kiss. “Ah, yes, just what I needed. Thank you, little fish.”

She beamed and hugged him. “Ran- _ shu  _ let me draw!” she said next and pointed, of all places, to the wall. “Lookit! A castle!”

“Oh, how lovely,” Lei Yu said seriously, though gave Zhao Haoran a pointedly amused look.

“We are removing the wallpaper anyways, Husband.” Zhao Haoran replied, approaching and winked at Lei Xiulan in reminder of their present. He’d asked her if the family portrait of them that he was going to be painting would be alright in here or in the informal one. He’d also promised she could help him paint it. Zhao Haoran gestured, “We planned on taking out the bookcases too so that this room is more open and Sweetness said she liked the idea of the sitting space being in the middle instead of a table. We could just read, sing, and cuddle. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes! Big space for us and toys,” she nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh? Well, I’d have to say that’s a great idea,” Lei Yu assured her as he stood again, her beaming smile making it easier to ignore the pain. “A place for all of us to be a family.”

“Yes! To be a family,” she agreed, her little hands still holding his own. She turned her toothy grin at Zhao Haoran. “Because we’re family, right Ran- _ shu?” _

“Of course we are. Even with Miss pretty and Miss Zhao Aang.” Zhao Haoran smiled, warmly down at her then up at Lei Yu. He took in how the man was shifting his weight. “Are you sure you want to walk? A-Mei can help her up the stairs while I carry you.” 

Lei Yu considered walking up just to not be a bother, but then he caught Lei Xiulan’s eye and knew he had to be more responsible than that. “We have to be careful on the stairs,” he said slowly, making her nod along in agreement. “I’ll have you carry me if you wouldn’t mind?” he asked Zhao Haoran with a faint blush. “We should always take the safest route.”

“Yes!” Lei Xiulan said, tugging his hand. “Baba has to be safe!”

“Exactly.” Zhao Haoran smiled at Lei Xiulan then gave his attention to Lei Yu. He gently released his hold of his niece's hand. “And of course I don’t mind. Zhao Aang already checked the stairs and they are not in need of repair.” 

“That’s good. Saves us some repair time. We can just go straight into renovating the rooms and not have to worry about the stairs,” Lei Yu mused in relief and gave his daughter’s cheek a little pinch. “Have Miss Pretty and Miss Aang help you up,” he told her and shifted his weight back into Zhao Haoran, his arms sliding over his shoulders around his neck. “I’m ready.”

Zhao Haoran laughed lightly as he lofted the man up with ease. He was grateful for the workouts that allowed him these moments. They’d be ones he’d keep doing till he got old and feeble. He shook his head refocusing carrying him up the stairs to the second floor. The second floor was open and with simple decorations. The hall must have been influenced by his mother because the other halls weren’t like this. So that gave them more ways to decorate for themselves. 

“At the top of the stairs we have our rooms. Did you want to go to her rooms at the other end first then ours?” Zhao Haoran asked as they neared the top of the stairs. 

“Hers first. She has the decision to make between rooms that we don’t,” Lei Yu pointed out, and chuckled at her delighted gasp as they reached the top of the stairs. “The question is, do we start with the room that’s already there, or the ones we’ll have to combine?”

“Let’s do the current nursery but let’s see.” Zhao Haoran answered, then turned his head to Lei Xiulan. “So, sweetness you have currently two choices. There is the nursery at the end of the hall then the current two rooms we can combine into one? Which would  _ you _ prefer? Just because Ran-Shu thinks you’ll like the nursery doesn’t mean you will.” 

“Combine?” she asked, curious, then looked at her father. “Where is baba’s room?”

“Right there, little fish,” Lei Yu said, pointing to the door. “You can have the room here, beside us, or you can have the room down there.”

She looked where he pointed, then tilted her head. After a moment, she headed for the rooms that would be combined, peeking into them. Lei Yu had to chuckle when she suddenly disappeared with a giggle to run around the room, testing the size and space. She peered out the window, considering, then ran to the next to do the same. By the time she burst out, she was excited and bright eyed, and booked it down the hall with her arms out.

“I think she likes the space,” Lei Yu mused as he was carefully set on his feet again. As though hearing him, Lei Xiulan laughed hard and disappeared into the nursery, her little pitter-pattering feet going to every corner.

“I think she likes it all. While you were talking to our gardener she told me that she wanted us to be together.” Zhao Haoran stated, tucking the man into him for support. “She said you both were too far apart.” 

The words had a spike of guilt piercing his heart hard enough Lei Yu lost his breath. He knew it wasn't his fault, that he had to keep the rooms separate because of how often he was called upon by Madam Shu. The shame was already too great, but the idea of his daughter seeing him walk back covered in bruises, bites, and marks? He’d rather die.

“I… did my best,” he said weakly, sadly, and trembled a bit against Zhao Haoran.

“You did what you thought was best. Don’t be hard on yourself. She doesn’t know anything else that’s happened to you. All she just misses you.” Zhao Haoran murmured against Lei Yu’s cheek before kissing it softly. “And that she loves you. To her you're  _ baba _ and she always wants to be with you. That’s how I was with my mother when she went off on her rotations.”

“It… it will be easier, as long as Madam Shu does not come back,” Lei Yu said, doing his best to breathe. He focused on his daughter’s happy laughter to ease the guilt down. “She would keep me days at a time. That was the hardest part.”

“I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you both. And don’t worry that won’t happen unless you're sick and can give it to her.” Zhao Haoran responded, guiding the man towards the nursery. “I wonder if she will come out after she finds the secret door.” The door he’d found went from her main room into her closet. Ifone went by the archways and doors then it appeared the only way in was from the bathing room. 

“Probably not,” Lei Yu chuckled and took in the room as they stepped into it. He immediately liked how sunny it was, with a view of the garden. Seeing a door open, he assumed she’d found the secret space and could hear her giggling from inside. “I think she’s made her choice.”

“Baba!” Hearing him, she came running out, a little dusty but brimming with excitement. “I want this room!”

“Then you can have it,” he told her, sending off into a peel of cheers and laughter. “What do you say to your Ran- _ shu?” _

“Thank you for the room, Ran- _ shu!”  _ she chirped and latched onto Zhao Haoran’s leg.

“Say thank you to  _ baba _ too. My original idea was to have you close in the combined room, it was your baba that said let you choose. But I am so glad you like the nursery.” Zhao Haoran praised them both. He reached down gently petting her hair and flicking the fishtail braid. “Did you find your secret place?” 

“Yessss,” she said happily, and moved to hug her father. “Thank you,  _ baba!”  _

“You’re welcome, my little fish,” Lei Yu said, slightly choked up. He knelt down to kiss her forehead. “Baba has something important to say.”

She nodded, straightening a little show she was listening. “What is it, baba?”

“Even though we’re in a new place and our rooms are still apart, I want you to know you are  _ always  _ welcome to come to mine and Ran- _ shu’s  _ rooms. If you need us, come. I will always have room for you, okay?”

Lei Xiulan’s smile was wide as she hugged him fiercely. “I’ll make room for you too, baba!” she swore and snuggled in. “Together forever.”

Lei Yu sniffled at that and held her close. “Together forever.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of Zhao Haoran and the others picking rooms and Zhao Mei & Wu Rushi get along.

The rest of the day had been spent mapping out the rooms. Zhao Haoran was so glad that both Lei Yu and Lei Xiulan liked the west wing as much as him. It felt odd to be redoing the rooms that his mother and father had enjoyed living in. For the short time that they did and now his family was going to bring happiness there once more. That thought alone kept a smile on his face all day and even through their picnic and later dinner. He was waiting for Lei Yu to come back from Lei Xiulan’s room. She asked him to read her to sleep and Lei Yu had offered his room once more despite Zhao Xin telling them that his room across the hall was ready. 

He’d made sure to take a bath once more and was sitting in his trousers combing his hair when the door slid open once more. He assumed it was Zhao Aang because of the smell of tea so he didn’t look up. “You can go on to bed A-Aang, I’m staying here.”

“Glad to hear it, husband,” Lei Yu said, amused, and carefully made his way across the room with a small tray of tea. He bypassed the low table in favor of the bed and set the tray on the mattress between them, then sat up with a relieved sigh. “How is your neck?” he asked, reaching over to gently rub the area that he’d seen Zhao Haoran had been rubbing that morning.

Zhao Haoran’s response was a small moan of relief instead of actual words. He leaned into the soft rubbing. It's been so long since he let anyone do that to him. He usually tried to do that himself or take a long hot bath. “It was the same as earlier till you did that. I can mostly ignore it like you with your ankle. Let me massage your ankle first because I am positive you’re going to turn me into a puddle of goo.” he moved the tray so that he was closer to the man’s ankles.

Lei Yu chuckled at that. “Give me a moment,” he said and slid free of the bed so he could slowly undress. He folded his outer layers onto the nightstand, then carefully hopped back up once he was only in his inner robe. His hair was already braided, a simple three strand his daughter had woven in for him. It was uneven in places and a tad lopsided, but he loved it all the same. “Alright, all yours.”

“You’re not going to hear this a lot till I get comfortable with you being comfortable but you look adorable.” Zhao Haoran spurted out seeing him in this state with that hair. He flushed then dipped his head down taking the man’s ankle into his lap. He very gently massaged the swollen ankle. “Can you hand me that basket with the bandages? But before you do… Zhao Ju Di brought some with cooling talismans on them. They don’t bind or control just stay cold. They are mine from my rooms at Zhao estate. May I put them on you or do you want me to use your regular bandages?”

The  _ adorable  _ comment had been more surprising than anything, but it’d turned to fond amusement at Zhao Haoran’s blush and subsequent rambling, which was more  _ adorable  _ than he thought he could be. He grabbed the basket off the nightstand, considering the cold talismans with a critical eye. “If I want them off, take them off,” was his only order before handing Zhao Haoran the basket. “And no one’s ever called me adorable before. I’d say that fits you better.”

“Please, you have those cute dimples and there’s this slight crook to your jaw that when you smile it just…” Zhao Hoaran rambled on while blushing a deeper shade of red. He took the basket with a nod as he met the man’s gaze. Zhao Haoran would remove them immediately if the other didn’t want them. He carefully began wrapping the ankle. “Hopefully you don’t mind them. I feel like they are better than a bucket of ice or an ice rag.” 

Lei Yu stayed quiet, tense despite himself at the feeling of  _ qi _ so close to his skin. But as promised, they only went cold, and his ankle tingled with it. “They’re… not bad,” he said, still a bit uncomfortable with the feeling, as though any second the  _ qi  _ would break free of the binding and go into him. He did his best to breathe. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome and if you want I can take them off now. I can sense your discomfort because it’s my  _ qi _ on the bandages. It’s the first set I’ve successfully made. Mama said that healing wasn’t my strong suit and not to force what won’t come naturally. So I only did the cold. Now Zhao Xin and Zhao Mei have healing skills.” Zhao Haoran explained. “Where do you want me?”

“It’s fine,” Lei Yu breathed after a moment and patted the bed in front of him. “Sit here, facing the door,” he instructed softly, and once Zhao Haoran was in place, he flicked the man’s hair over his shoulder and began massaging into the man’s neck with slow, confident strokes.

Zhao Haoran was trying to behave and not make any sounds or move. However it is quite hard when the man’s hands are so talented. He leaned into the man’s touch as the ache started to go away. Zhao Haoran reached back to gently touch Lei Yu’s hand. “If you keep doing that I might fall asleep.” When the man focused on the curve of his shoulder. It was an odd place but he was sensitive and made him sleepy. 

Lei Yu stopped and considered him, then chuckled. “Lay down on your stomach,” he ordered, gently guiding him to Zhao Haoran’s side of the bed. “Get comfortable and feel free to sleep. And make noise,” he added, amused. “I can hear you trying not to. You sound like a squeaky baby mouse.”

“You’re a squeaky baby mou.. _ ahh… _ ” Zhao Haoran trailed off with a moan. He’d been working hard and was stiff in his back. Lei Yu’s hands were a work of miracles and needed to be worshipped often. Zhao Haoran flushed as he realized that he must have said it out loud because the man above him was laughing. The sounds ran a shiver down his spine at how good it did sounded. 

“I’m hardly worth worshipping,” Lei Yu managed between giggles and scooted closer so he could really dig into the man’s back. He could feel the muscles were tense and knotted from years of training and work, and by the moan Zhao Haoran let out, had been bothering him awhile. A sly smile crossed his lips. “But if you wish to, I have a few ideas.”

“Anything, just don’t stop.” Zhao Haoran pleaded before raising up a bit into Lei Yu’s touch. He made another happy moan at the tension leaving his body. He truly was going to be a puddle of human goo.

“I won’t stop,” Lei Yu promised, a little surprised at how easily the man yielded. Then again, he’d already figured this was how it was going to be. Zhao Haoran had already admitted he was the kind of lover who followed, which meant a degree of sensitivity of body and openness he was displaying here. 

Amusedly, Lei Yu wanted to comment on how the servants no doubt thought some serious ravishing was going on, but kept it to himself and just let his hands work slowly downwards until he was at his favorite place on a lover’s body: the lower back. And Zhao Haoran had a gorgeous one. To plant kisses here instead of his fingers? So tempting.

“You really are a beautiful man,” he praised, voice soft. He wasn’t even sure the man could hear him with how the sounds increased. “Am I pushing too hard?”

“Mngh..” Zhao Haoran answered, in heaven. He didn’t care what Lei Yu said. The man deserved to be worshipped and his hands were miracle workers. He’d not been this relaxed body wise in a very long time. 

“I’ll take that as a no.” This time, Lei Yu laughed again, deep and amused, and got to work on the man’s lower back. Once it was loose, he shifted down to the hips and wasn’t surprised to feel Zhao Haoran flinch a bit. “I can go back up if you want,” he offered, though his fingers were already working firm circles into his skin.

“Nghn... _ no _ ...left... _ please _ .” He requested, which would have Lei Yu’s finger working the sensitive part of his scar that was on his lower hip. Zhao Haoran’s eyes fluttered from how comfortable he was. 

Lei Yu obliged him, working the area with confidence, as well as curiosity. He knew he was on some of the scar that had his interest already, and did his best to adjust pressure as he moved around it, knowing it had to be sensitive by the way Zhao Haoran was acting. Once he felt the pelvis go slack, he gripped both hips and gently rocked them back and forth to chase away the last of the tension.

“Better?” he asked, his fingers lightly skirting up the man’s spine. “Are you still with me, A-Ran?”

“Yess-ff…” Zhao Haoran stuttered, all pliant beneath him. He’d gladly let the man do that anytime he liked and shivered from the feeling of all the tension being gone. Zhao Haoran stretched out his hand just out of habit to intertwine his partners fingers from being so comfortable. 

The hold was sweet and Lei Yu smiled to feel it. “Do you want more?” he asked, leaning forward to kiss the back of Zhao Haoran’s hand. 

Zhao Haoran shook his head and shivered. He felt a little cool from the breeze coming through their window. “Hold or just stay.” He sleepily slurred trying to get his words to work. Zhao Haoran couldn’t remember being this comfortable and he was glad he’d been prepared because walking right now wasn’t going to happen willingly. 

“I’ll stay,” Lei Yu promised, seeing the shiver. There was a bit of a chill and of course the man was on  _ top  _ of the blankets. With a fond sigh, he went for his sash, then laid his robe over the man, hoping it was warm enough. It meant he himself was only in his trousers, but he could at least escape under the covers, which he did with a deep sigh of contentment. He held his hand out to Zhan Haoran. “Hold?”

“ _ Hold _ .” Zhao Haoran murmured, pulling their hands closer to his chest beneath the robe covering him. He’d wanted the man to hold him. It was alright. He was sure it was his fault for not using his words properly. His eyes felt heavy as he opened them to watch Lei Yu settle and smiled. 

The sight was a lot like a turtle snatching something and hiding in its shell. The hold on his hand was gentle and warm, and he felt a little brave as he turned onto his side, facing him. “Do you… want to come here?” he offered. “Or are you too comfortable to move?”

“Y-yes.” Zhao Haoran answered with a doapy grin on his face. It took some effort but he was able to finally wiggle over to his husband. He touched his head into the taller man’s neck after pressing a bare there peck on the man’s freckle on his Adam’s apple. Zhao Haoran took a deep breath as he closed his eyes.

Lei Yu shivered a bit, his breath hot on the man’s neck. Logically, he knew it would be easier to tuck the man fully in under the covers, but there was a bit of comfort to having a barrier between them, especially with him so close now. And there was something sweet about how Zhao Haoran was snuggling in, the way Lei Xiulan did. And that familiarity had him smiling and kissing the top of Zhao Haoran’s head, just like he would for his daughter.

“Sleep,” he bid, his arm tucking around him and lightly rubbing his back.

“Sleep.” Zhao Haoran murmured into Lei Yu’s neck and snuggled closer as the man shivered. Not out of intimacy but the cold of the night air. His dumbo rat that’d been hiding on top of one of the shelves jumped down to go across the room to shut the slats and dim the candles before taking home to catch the wooden planks in the fireplace. 

The warmth worked its magic after a short while. Zhao Haoran was snoring by the time Lei Yu fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets closer.

Waking up was a groggy affair, his body too heavy and something on him snoring into his skin. He blinked his eyes open and was greeted to the sight of Zhao Haoran wrapping around him like a squid, blissfully out and splayed over him. He sighed, doing his best to calm down his racing heart against the shortage of breath he felt from being squished. His neck was free, which helped, and his hands were unbound, also good. He relaxed slowly, but gratefully, into something like amusement, especially to feel a grown man nuzzle into him like a puppy.

He lifted his hand to lightly play in Zhao Haoran’s hair. “Husband.”

“Hnghffff.” Zhao Haoran snored into the warm pillow but the jiggling and warm laughter filling his ears made him remember that it wasn’t a pillow. No, it was Lei Yu. He’d wiggled over to the man and was snuggling. Well, now he wasn’t as his eyes sleepily fluttered open. He was probably squishing the poor man. LeiYu’s height would normally have been at a healthier weight but unfortunately he wasn’t so he was in fact squishing him. “I..ignhf, sorry.” He slurred. His mouth was dry which meant he’d probably drooled on the poor man. He untangled himself but didn’t move too far away. He did though check to see if the man still had his drool on him by gently patting the man’s neck. “I’m sorry.” he repeated again.

“Don’t be. I welcomed you to sleep with me,” Lei Yu pointed out and pulled him back in a bit to further show it was alright, his fingers resuming their playing with his hair. “You’re cute when you sleep. Your nose gets squished and you snore.”

“That’s what I’ve always been told. I like to burrow much like my mice.” Zhao Haoran stated, twisting his head a bit to feel Lei Yu’s fingers scratch slightly at his scalp. It was a nice cozy feeling and he hoped that their married life would be like this. Well with the exception he’d be under the sheets. He curled his legs up so that that wouldn’t be splayed out from beneath the robe he was using for a blanket.

“Cold?” Lei Yu asked around a yawn. “It’s okay, you can come under.” Sleepiness always made him more brave and he pulled lightly on the man’s braid. 

“Yes, please.” Zhao Haoran said, moving more like a clumsy puppy to get under the sheets. He wiggled closer so he was practically tucked back into Lei Yu. “Warm, it’s the goodness showing.” A phrase that his mother used to say. 

Lei Yu chuckled at the silliness and relaxed with a smile, even if the feeling of Zhao Haoran’s breath on his bare skin made him shiver. Something stirred inside him that he knew all too well, a soft fire in his skin. He pushed it away as best he could. “Your goodness is as warm as sunlight,” he agreed softly and tucked his hand around the man’s hip, his fingers splaying over his lower back.

Zhao Haoran shivered at the feel of that hand on his bare hip. He made a soft squeaking sound which had him flushing and sobering up from the deep sleep he’d been under. “I…..no it’s the both of us.” Zhao Haoran countered trying to make up for how he’d reacted to the touch to his scar and lower back. 

Lei Yu was already letting go. “Sorry, I should have asked,” he said, truly contrite, and pulled his hand back. “And I’m not sure about that, but I’ll believe you.”

“No, no it’s fine. You can touch me. I’m just… this is stupid bit it’s still sensitive.” Zhao Haoran reached out gently bringing Lei Yu’s hand to trace his scar. He shivered as the hand moved along the scarred flesh. “This is one of many reasons you won’t be having a husband that is on active rotation with the family.” He breathed out at the sensitive tingling he still got even though it was almost a year and a half old. 

“It’s not stupid,” Lei Yu said, firm on that, and gently traced the bump of skin. “Does it still hurt you?” he asked in real worry. “I hope I didn’t hurt you last night.”

“No it doesn’t hurt me. It just feels like it’s still new? A tingling that makes me shiver.” Zhao Haoran tried to explain and was probably failing. “What you did last night was very much welcome and you can do that whenever you like.” He smiled bringing Lei Yu’s hand back up to kiss it softly on the back then on the inside at the small faint freckle there.

The kiss made a low noise bubble up in Lei Yu’s throat. His eyes fluttered and that soft fire came back no matter how hard he pushed. Still, the news was a relief though it made him think. Gathering his courage, he lifted his knee and drew the man’s hand towards his thigh, where the tattoo was under the fabric of his trousers.

“I’m still sensitive here, like it’s new,” he said seriously. “You’d think with how much she bit me here I’d lose that, but she always managed to keep it sensitive by overstimulating the skin. If you touch me too lightly here, it almost… hurts? So it’s not stupid,” he said again, nodding to him in understanding. “I promise.”

“Thank you for sharing that with me. And I doubt that you would. The skin like mine is conditioned.” Zhao Haoran said, leaning in to kiss the tip of Lei Yu’s nose. “ I can tell you one thing about my preferences...” Zhao Haoran chose to not stroke the skin but to rest his fingers where they’d been laid. “I don’t like to bite others. You’re free to bite me though.” 

“Do you like being bitten?” Lei Yu asked, curious, and gently moved Zhao Haoran’s hand so he could put his leg back down. Boldly, he laid it on his hip and used his own grip on Zhao Haoran’s lower back to pull the man closer. “Or do you just like your partner to do whatever they please as long as they are enjoying you?”

“I don’t mind it as long as my partner lets me know what’s going to happen. Because what’s not attractive to me is someone doing what they will.” Zhao Haoran answered, feeling a new kind of shiver go down his spine. It was one of want that he let settle but didn’t push, feeling like it was too soon still. “And then doing something that frightens or upsets you. What do  _ you _ like?”

“I like being held close,” Lei Yu admitted, his fingers swirling a pattern on Zhao Haoran’s back. “I like kissing, not just a lover’s lips, but many places on their body. Leaving marks has lost its appeal to me, as has being vocal. To be honest with you, I’m actually a quiet lover. Moreso now than I was with Guanyu. Madam Shu demanded I be loud.”

He tapped his fingertips and drew in a lazy fish shape, eyes half lidded and very dark as they watched Zhao Haoran react. “And I would very much like to kiss you now, husband.”

“You may kiss me as you wish.” Zhao Haoran murmured, eyes flicking to Lei Yu’s lips. The want there in his own eyes that he wasn’t about to hide when Lei Yu wasn’t doing the same. He swallowed and kept a note of what the man had told him about himself. Lei Yu was probably going to be surprised that he would be the loud one. He wasn’t the grunting silent lover that people imagined Zhao’s to be.

Lei Yu kissed him, a soft huff of amusement between their lips. “You are thinking hard about something,” he teased, their mouths still brushing. Before the man could answer or blush harder, he kissed him again, more adventurous, yet still slow, his hand stroking up and down Zhao Haoran’s back until he felt him surrender.

He cupped Zhao Haoran’s leg then and drew it over his hip, pushing in with his body as he did so without breaking the kiss. Soon, Zhao Haoraon was on his back and Lei Yu braced over him, but still the kiss was gentle and coaxing, unhurried. “This okay?” he breathed out, his lips starting to gently trail down his jaw, exploring.

Zhao Haoran was lost in the kissing to care how he’d been maneuvered by the other’s gentle hands. He returned the kissing as much as he could without preening. Because honestly, he was loving being the full focus of Lei Yu’s affections. He couldn’t imagine a moment where the other wasn’t leading at this point. Those kisses were turning his brain to mush and making his heart race. 

“Yes-s..” Zhao Haoran answered him as he tilted his head back to give Lei Yu more access. His hands remaining where they’d fallen back on the sheets. 

It was a bit like petting a dog, feeling him just go limp. He started to laugh, amazed that the man wasn’t pulling for any advantage. In fact, Zhao Haoran looked far too dazed to even consider it. “You can touch me,” he chuckled and nibbled softly on that lower lip. “Or is your brain no longer intact?”

“Keep kissing me like that and it will be.” Zhao Haoran chuckled, flushing as he finally reached up to brush loose strands from the other’s face to tuck behind his ear. The hand drifting down his jaw to gently stroke the mark on the man’s neck. “...but that doesn’t stop me from wanting another, please?”

Lei Yu shivered but nodded, kissing him sweetly, his hand cupping his cheek and gently swiping over his cheekbone. It was what he’d missed, he realized, this easy exchange of kisses. There was no expectation of more, just a gentle exploration and curiosity. He found himself smiling against his mouth. “A-Ran…”

“A-Yu?” Zhao Haoran responded, returning the kiss with tenderness. This was perfect to him. He liked just the sweetness of kissing his lover. He let his other arm wrap around Lei Yu not to bring him closer but for the comfort. Lei Yu yielded easily, his grin only growing even as tears came to his eyes.

“It’s been so long…” he started, but swallowed the rest in a kiss, a bit wet now, yet still smiling. A bubble of a laugh glowed through him, and if he’d had a core, it’d be dancing. “A-Ran.”

Zhao Haoran was sure that he was in heaven just from a kiss. He reached up gently cupping Lei Yu’s teary cheek and leaned up without pulling the other down to kiss each cheek just below the eyes. “I know, A-Yu and just know that it’s never going away. This. We can always have this.” 

Lei Yu just kissed him more, too scared to speak and break the moment. Like it could be a dream. Eventually, his giggling won out, and soon they were nose to nose, just trading soft kisses back and forth, and he felt like he could die in this moment and finally,  _ finally,  _ have no regrets.

“A-Ran,” he started, but pulled back, hearing the soft pattering of feet. He was thankfully sitting up, not too flushed and face wiped clean of tears when the door slid open. It was still a bit early so he quickly got off the bed, uncaring of his ankle. “Little fish, what are you doing up?”

“Haunted rooms,” she said in a small voice and ran over the moment she shut the door behind her. His brave girl wasn’t crying, but sniffling and rubbing her eyes, her wooden goldfish against her chest. Wu Rushi had carved it for her and said it would keep the ghosts away. She’d taken to sleeping with it and carrying it to lessons ever since. “Baba, can I stay in here?”

“Of course,” he said, plucking her up and limping back to bed. Zhao Haoran was already sitting up, ready for hugs, and she reached for him with a soft whimper. “Remember what I said about hugs, little fish?”

“Baba’s hugs chase away the scary things,” she said, latching onto Zhao Haoran and sniffling into his chest.

“Ran-shu does too and Jingyi.” Zhao Haoran winked and his dumbo rat appeared around their feet as he approached. Jingyi took off out the door. “He’s going to go check your rooms and scare anything that tries to linger.”

She nodded, tucked in, and reached a hand out for Lei Yu. He moved quickly to hop on the bed, uncaring of his ankle, and wrapped his arms around them both. “Don’t worry, little fish. You’re safe.”

“Thanks, baba, Ran- _ shu,”  _ she said, her big eyes teary, and Lei Yu gently wiped away the tears before they could fall. “It was Wolf again.”

“Ahh, that is a scary one,” Lei Yu said, worried, and met Zhao Haoran’s curious gaze. “There are two rooms that caught fire seven years ago. Almost a dozen servants shared those rooms and we lost more than half of them. We had MeishanYu sect members out to purify the rooms, but for some reason they only got stuck in the rooms, not banished. Since she has a core, she can see them, and the wolf -”

“Many eyes, big teeths!” Lei Xiulan shuddered, holding her goldfish close. “He eats them, chomp, chomp! Laughs at me. He’s mean and scary.”

“I will be sending for them again. I am glad we are moving out of this wing then.” Zhao Haoran responded as he gently petted both their heads. That wolf wanted to be there because of the resentful energy. There was a story there that probably involved Madam Shu and her ladies. He would investigate that as well. He’d ensure that woman stayed away. 

“Your Ran- _ shu  _ will take care of it,” Lei Yu said, wishing he’d been able to do more. But it was still a relief to know something could be done… well, hopefully. He laid back against the pillows and lifted the blanket for her. “Come here, little fish. Let’s get snuggled in.”

She detached slowly from Zhao Haoran to do so, though was quick to tug him down too. “Baba, can you sing?” she asked, her little lip wobbling a bit. As though he would ever say no.

“Of course, little fish,” he promised and waited for Zhao Haoran to get comfortable. With her snuggled between them, Lei Yu leaned down to kiss her forehead before softly singing.  _ “Do you see the moon, little one? Do you see the rabbit pounding rice? Fly away, fly away, little stars from the sky. Tonight we’ll be eating tangyuan in the clouds.” _

Zhao Haoran smiled more than happy to cuddle with them to give his niece comfort. THe poor girl must have been frightened to see such things. He gently soothed her hair as he peered over her head at Lei Yu. The man had a hauntingly beautiful voice. Though he’d keep that to himself. It was something special for his daughter. “ _ With the stars and the moon, and the night fowls. _ ” Zhao Haoran tacked on with his own deeper timber.

_ “And stardust and moondust and sun,”  _ Lei Xiulan mumbled, already drooping again because of how warm and safe she felt. Lei Yu was more than proud of that and kissed her forehead again, then gently rubbed between her brows, the way he did for her often, and the way he’d gotten Zhao Haoran to sleep their first night. 

“My brave little dragoness,” he murmured, worried to his heart. It was something he couldn’t control, because he had no magic, and Teacher Wu had said it was doubly hard for her because her core was strong enough to pick up the energy while she was simply young enough to still be aware of the spirit realm. So, even without a core, she could have seen the dread wolf, and it killed him each time she’d come crying to his rooms. Thankfully, it was just as trapped there as the souls, and never followed her. Cultivator or not, he’d kill the beast with his own hands if he had to. “Baba is here. You are safe.”

“Safe,” she said, happy and content, and reached up to grab the end of Zhao Haoran’s braid. She held it to her chest with her fish, with which she tucked in Lei Yu’s hand as well, and yawned, her eyes drooping closed. “Babas are here…”

Now it was time for Zhao Haoran to be teary eyed. He had never thought that she would even think of him like that in any capacity other than an uncle. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. He was about to say something but then Jingyi returned with the two soft stuffed turtle and tiger. Zhao Haoran moved them up to settle them along with Lei Xiulan’s fish. “Sleep well sweetness.”

She was out like a light in only a few moments and Lei Yu breathed out a sigh of relief. “She’s getting better about it,” he murmured, kissing her head again. “The first few times were the worst. One of the ones she sees is a burnt woman who tries to entice her over. She always cries when it’s that one.”

He sighed again and settled his head on his pillow, holding them both close. He smiled at Zhao Haoran’s glassy eyes and traced away the tears before they could fall, as he had done for his daughter. “Don’t be surprised if she bounces between calling you  _ baba _ and Ran- _ shu.  _ Things are always a bit more honest when she’s like this, so don’t take it to heart if she calls you Ran- _ shu  _ when she wakes up again.”

“I never thought she’d even think of me as more than her shushu.” Zhao Haoran smiled, turning his head so that he could press a kiss into the cusp of his hand. Then rubbed his nose into the palm. “I’ll keep the moment in my heart and be content with Ran-shu as she desires.”

“It’ll happen one day, of that I’m sure,” Lei Yu assured him, a little shy at the kiss. It reminded him of the night before, when he’d teased about worshipping his hands. He’d entertained many hand kisses like this and shivered, but his smile was soft and luminous. “Rest a bit more, husband. We still have a little while before breakfast and she’ll be all go when she’s up.”

“Will you sing to me too?” Zhao Haoran nuzzled back into the hand, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he settled in. His own arm wrapped loosely around Lei Yu and Lei Xiulan. 

“I’ll sing to you,” Lei Yu promised and traced between Zhao Haoran’s brows, starting the song over again. All too soon, Zhao Haoran was asleep with the sound of Lei Yu’s voice and Lei Xiulan’s breathing. He would let the man take his hand back though falling asleep on it.


	8. Chapter 8

Waking up was easy when it was done by giggling of a very adorable husband and niece. Zhao Haoran’s eyes fluttered open to find a soft, round face that had a big grin on it. He licked his lips and smiled back. He moved his head only to find that he was still laying on Lei Yu’s hand. Zhao Haoran blinked with a surprised expression. That’s seemed to only make them laugh more.

“Good morning,” Zhao Haoran said, his voice gravely from sleeping hard. He watched as Lei Yu wiggled his fingers to probably get his feelings back into them. “I see someone has slept better.”

“Yes, hugs are magic,” Lei Xiulan said happily and kissed his cheek, then flopped over him in a semblance of a hug. It got him to roll back a bit, allowing Lei Yu to get his hand back. “Good morning, Ran- _ shu!  _ You were snoring!’

“They are the best kind of magic. I am so happy, baba has taught you that.” Zhao Haoran responded, hugging her back and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “And it was a trick of your ears or maybe yourself or baba.” 

“Nuh- _ uh,  _ Ran- _ shu!  _ You snored like this.” She scrunched up her face and snorted loudly, though it was lost a second later when he poked her. “You snored!”

“You definitely snored,” Lei Yu agreed with her, chuckling at them both. He sat up on his elbow just to watch them, eyes soft. “You both snore like a papa bear and baby bear.”

“See it was you! Even baba says so.” Zhao Haoran made a snoring sound before he started tickling her. They were both in a fit of giggles and laughter till he let up when she called for her baba. He smiled watching the two lovingly. It felt so nice to have them there with him. That had him thinking what he promised Lei Yu. They hadn’t gone because of the man’s ankle. 

“Baba says  _ both,”  _ she countered primly, little nose in the air. “Baby bear and papa bear. That’s you!”

“That is you,” Lei Yu agreed, making her preen in delight. He chuckled and pinched her cheek, then reached over to poke Zhao Haoran’s nose. “Not that I mind. I find it cute.”

“You’re both cute.” Zhao Haoran chuckled, then reached over to poke Lei Xiulan’s nose when the little one started to wiggle. “Possibly too cute to go to the market to eat snacks and get things for our rooms maybe?” He winked at Lei Xiulan. 

She gasped. “Market?” she bounced in place. “I can go to the market! Baba!” Though in turning to him, her smile faltered, and she worriedly looked back at Zhao Haoran. “Can… baba come too, Ran- _ shu?”  _ she asked, as though unsure she could even ask. Lei Yu felt his heart pang at that, knowing how many times she’d asked Madam Shu, Shen Guanyu, and Teacher Wu. Because of Madam Shu’s rules, it had always been no. “I promise I’ll be good! Please, let baba come too?”

“Yes, the market, sweetness and of course your baba can go. I don’t tell baba what he can and can’t do. But if he isn’t feeling up to going we can wait if you like.” Zhao Haoran answered with a grin. He peered up at Lei Yu for his permission to allow them to go as a family. He wouldn’t do anything the man didn’t want and he hoped that Lei Yu understood that about him. Though there was a hopeful expression on his face because he really wanted to hold onto this moment between the three of them.

“What do you say husband? Do you feel up to going to the market? Or does your ankle need more time?”

Lei Yu breathed out shakily. Freedom. Real freedom at his grasp. “My ankle needs time, but I’m still going,” he said, firm on that, and looked down at his wrapped foot. “These talismans work well-  _ oof.” _

“Baba can go!” Lei Xiulan launched herself at him and he barely caught her, she was wiggling in so much delight. “Baba gets to go outside!”

“Yes, baba gets to go,” he said, his eyes a bit misty, and kissed her forehead before she tucked in and hugged him fiercely. He looked up at Zhao Haoran with a wobbly smile. “Thank you.”

“For what husband?” Zhao Haoran leaned over kissing the man’s cheek then his niece’s nose. “So, let’s get dressed and I think it is still early enough for some of the stalls to be serving rice rolls? Have you had one like that before? They are delicious!”

“Rice rolls!” Lei Xiulan cheered and wiggled off the bed, reaching her hands up once she was down. Lei Yu obediently handed her the toys and she managed to hold them all to her chest. “Gonna get changed!” she said happily and then she was off, running to the porch. “Pretty! Pretty! I need my dress!”

When she was gone, Lei Yu took the time to kiss Zhao Haoran, tender and thankful. “You know what for,” he huffed and gently nibbled his lip. “Thank you.”

“No thank yous needed. But I do like when I have a good, helpful idea to be rewarded.” Zhao Haoran grinned, leaning to the kiss. Another shiver running down his spine at the nibble to his lip. 

“Oh? Then I shall reward you,” Lei Yu said, cupping his face and kissing him again. This time, he started with a soft nibble to part the man’s lips, then gently slid his tongue inside to deepen it. Feeling the other go a bit stiff, he pulled back, but only far enough to speak. “That okay, husband?”

Zhao Haoran nodded, pushing back the feeling of bringing Lei Yu flush to him so the taller man could deepen the kiss. That’s why he’d tensed. Lei Yu said it was okay to touch him but he didn’t want to rush anything or break the man’s trust. So much of Lei Yu’s intimate moments had the man removed from control. “More than okay. A perfect reward for a good idea.” Zhao Haoran answered, pressing a small peck to the man’s lips. 

Lei Yu chuckled and chased him, kissing him deeply once more. He enjoyed how Zhao Haoran shivered in his arms, and felt proud he could give this much. “A good reward, indeed,” he breathed, his lips lightly grazing the man’s jaw and neck before he pulled back. “Come, time to get dressed. If we’re not ready when A-Xiu comes back, she’ll pout something fierce.”

Zhao Haoran laughed softly but nodded in agreement. He remembered being that age and wanting to see the world. Even if the world was just the market. Zhao Haoran helped Lei Yu off the bed then slipped out heading for the wardrobe. “I’ll go get my robes from the room after I help you with getting yours out-t.” Zhao Haoran stuttered at the end when he opened the wardrobe only to find his clothes neatly hanging and folded among Lei Yu’s things. He blinked a few times before he snorted. His perceptive friends could see the change and had already done this knowing he’d rather stay with Lei Yu. 

Lei Yu blinked too, wondering when that had happened, though he was hardly surprised. “I like that black robe with the teal trim,” he said, offhand, and limped over to stand with him. He plucked it from the hanger and felt over it, liking that it was so lightweight. He held it to Zhao Haoran’s torso and nodded. “It brings out your eyes, as well.”

“Oh? Flattery will get you more kisses and an extra rice roll.” Zhao Haoran beamed, kissing the man’s cheek. He smiled, pressing his cheek against the other's jaw. “You look good in everything. But I think this brown set is your favorite.” It was muted brown with soft cream bamboo embroidered on the trouser legs and leaves on the sleeves. 

“You’d be right about that,” Lei Yu chuckled and handed him his clothing, then grabbed the set for himself. Carefully, he dressed, mindful of his foot. He checked it over to see if it was swollen, but thankfully it only looked black and blue. He could fit into a shoe and not ruin the day out by not being able to walk. “Did we have a plan in mind for today?”

“Yes, there is an auntie that has a stall of rice rolls, then there are a few stalls and shops that I thought would be good to pick up some things for our rooms, then to end off with some lunch or dinner at the park. Zhao Ju Di stated that there are going to be fireworks. Do you want to stay or watch them from our gardens? I think our western gardens might be able to see them?” Zhao Haoran responded, finishing getting dressed first. He approached Lei Yu to help him finish. 

"Our little fish will want to see them from the park, so let's plan for that," Lei Yu smiled softly and let the man fuss with his sash. "Hopefully I don't slow us down too much."

“We can take it slow. I am sure that our little fish will be happy to stay with us. Now, when we go to the market. There might not be some stalls or shops that won’t let me near. Please don’t take offense. They don’t like my mother’s family.” Zhao Haoran nonchalantly, looking up at the man with a gentle smile.

"Speaking of your mother… what does she think of you marrying me?" LeiYu asked softly, a bite of nerves in his words. "I can't imagine she was happy."

“Of course she is...hold on.” Zhao Haoran stated, moving back to the wardrobe and he hoped that his smaller trunk was put in there too. He grinned seeing that the trunk was there. He slid it out enough to open a compartment. He took out a small bundle of letters. There was a teal silk ribbon with a wax seal on them. 

“These are for you from  _ Mama _ . That I forgot to give you because I got distracted.” Zhao Haoran flushed, “I’m sorry. I wanted to be the one to give it to you, not Zhao Ju Di.”

Lei Yu took them with a look of surprise. "I… thank you," he murmured, blinking at them. He wondered what the woman had to say that it took multiple letters to do it. He swallowed and laid them on the bed. "I'll read them tonight," he promised and kissed that spot under Zhao Haoran's eye. 

“She’d have come but she has a nasty summer cold. She didn’t want to get our little fish sick or you.” Zhao Haoran responded. He moved to go fix his hair and grab his socks and boots. “Feel free to write her back if you want or you can talk to her in person for our wedding.”

The idea was rather scary for him, but he nodded, truly wanting to meet her. "I will write to her and hopefully we can meet before the wedding," he mused, shuffling after him. "She's important to you. I hope I do not disappoint her, and that she enjoys having a little granddaughter."

“She is the most excited about that. When I told her that I was interested in men she was worried that I’d never have children at all. So she is beyond thrilled that we have Lei Xiulan.” Zhao Haoran responded, getting up. “And you could never disappoint her. She is proud of us both.”

“Not sure how she can be, but thank you,” Lei Yu said and pulled him in for a soft kiss. “Do you think you can help me into my boots? And do the talismans need to be changed?”

“Actually no. These bandages are made with Gusu Silk and there are cleaning as well as cooling talismans. Now, if you’d been bleeding.” Zhao Haoran said, moving to get the man some socks and his boots. “And she’s open with her heart. She understands your struggles all too well. Before you there was her. It takes a lot to be able to move on from where you’d been. I hope that makes sense? It sounded better when she said it.” He laughed softly motioning for the man to go over to the foot of the bed. 

“It made sense,” Lei Yu assured, wincing as his foot was maneuvered into the sock, then the boot. The tight shoe actually felt good with the talismans, which added more support to his ankle. It still hurt to walk, but he would do it, and took out his hair to brush it. He left it down and slightly crinkled from the braid, then noticed Zhao Haoran was staring. “See something you like, husband?” he teased with a faint chuckle, and swept his hair back once he was done brushing. “Do you want me to put it up?”

“Yes, your neck. It’s elegant and I can see your mark.” Zhao Haoran answered, tilting his head like a thoughtful puppy. He bit on his bottom lip for a moment. “How about slightly up with your bangs not pulled back? And would you like help?” His fingers wiggled to be able to play with Lei Yu’s hair.

“Mark?” Lei Yu blinked, but still went for a hairpin. “What mark?”

“Y-your freckle on your neck.” Zhao Haoran stammered, stepping up then quickly circling the taller man to be able to hide where he was flushing brightly. He’d wanted to kiss the man’s neck this morning but was too busy enjoying the attention the other had given him. Zhao Haoran lifted his hand up to take only a little hair back after taking off one of his ribbons to secure the hair before the pin was put in. 

Lei Yu blushed too, though it was easy to smile because of how utterly red Zhao Haoran had become. “Ah, a freckle? Maybe you can point it out to me?” he asked, meeting the man’s eye and feeling brave. “With your lips?”

“I..I...o-okay.” Zhao Haoran fumbled as he met Lei Yu’s gaze. He swallowed and decided to be spontaneous then leaned up on his toes to softly peck the man’s neck just as the doors swung open. Zhao Haoran took a quick step away from Lei Yu not wanting Lei Xiulan to see them in that state. He felt the heat rising on his cheeks. 

“Kisses!” Lei Xiulan gasped next to Zhao Mei, dressed in her favorite pink dress. She ran over with her fish instantly, her hair once more in a fishtail braid. “Ran- _ shu!  _ Kiss me too?”

“Are you sure it was kisses?” Lei Yu teased, snatching her up and going for her neck before Zhao Haoran could. She squealed in delight. “Maybe he was eating me!”

“Noo!” she laughed, flapping her hands around. “Ran- _ shu,  _ no eats! Save me!”

“Save you? Maybe I am going to help baba eat you?” Zhao Haoran approached them, joining in the tickling and making nomming sounds. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Nooo!” she squealed all the more, though preened at the kiss. “Ran- _ shu,”  _ she chided him, patting his cheek then looked up at her father, who kissed the top of her head. She grinned, pleased at this turn of events, and held up her goldfish. “Bubbles needs kisses too, for luck! Mister Wu says so.”

Lei Yu chuckled at that. “Mister Wu made it for her to scare the ghosts away,” he explained to Zhao Haoran. “Any good feeling, kisses included, that we can put into it will keep it strong.”

Zhao Haoran smiled at her then winked before pressing a kiss to the top of the goldfish’s head. It smelled like Lei Yu’s oil. So that meant that meant that they must wash it with the oil in the water. “Yes, because happiness is stronger than sadness.” Zhao Haoran praised her reasoning. 

“Yes! And love is stronger than fear,” she recited, looking up at Lei Yu for confirmation. “Baba says so.”

“I do say so,” he smiled and kissed her head again, then the fish when she lifted it. When he set her down he twirled her, making her giggle. “You look lovely today, little fish. Pretty as a peony.”

“Miss Pretty picked it out for me!” Lei Xiulan preened, swishing her dress side to side with a happy expression.

“That’s because you’re the most beautiful flower in all of Meishan, sweetness.” Zhao Haoran praised her again. He gave Zhao Mei a nod of approval as well for her good selection. “So pretty I think it’s perfect for you to wear to the market with us? Are you ready?”

“Yess! I’m ready!” Lei Xiulan said in excitement and quickly moved to grab Lei Yu’s hand. “Baba gets to come, too!” she added, still very happy about it, and Lei Yu smiled down at her, heart aching at how she didn’t let him go.

“Yes, baba gets to come,” he said, pinching her cheek with his free hand. He delighted in her giggle. “You and Ran- _ shu  _ will have to show me around.”

“I will, baba,” she said, bouncing in place.

“And we have to be careful so that we don’t hurt  _ baba _ ’s ankle. Then we’ll have to carry him or come home. Alright?” Zhao Haoran smiled at her as he knelt down to make sure that her boots were fitting alright. Her big toe was a little too close to the tip of her boot. “And husband, we will need to stop by Master Tian’s shop too. Have you been there?”

“I haven’t,” Lei Yu said, smiling down at his daughter. It wasn’t too hard to guess this master Tian sold shoes. The idea that she could have shoes made just for her was almost too hard for him to comprehend, and an all too familiar lump was back in his throat. “You’re getting so big, my little fish. You’ll need new shoes soon.”   
  


“No I don’t, baba,” she said quickly and he felt his heart ache again when he realized what she was doing. “No hurting, they fit! Don’t worry.”

“I’m not,” he lied and gave her little hand a squeeze. “It’s okay, little fish. You can have new shoes. Ran- _ shu  _ will buy them for you.”

“...really?” she asked, unsure, and looked at Zhao Haoran. “Really? New shoes?”

“And you will have three pairs come home with you today. One for fun, one for studies, and one for the wedding.  _ Baba _ approved your gown for the wedding. So we need boots to match.” Zhao Haoran stated as he playfully flicked her nose. “You’ll need to take care of them till you grow out of them then we will donate them to the orphanage.”

“So other girls can have shoes,” she said brightly, knowing that routine at least. “Thank you, Ran- _ shu!” _

Lei Yu was slightly baffled as the two hugged. “...I approved it?’ he asked, a bit narrowed eyed in thought. “When? All I approved were her new play clothes… right?”

“No, sweetheart you didn’t. The play clothes haven’t been designed yet. A-Mei wanted to discuss them with you. The tailor for wedding robes and gowns sent over the designs. You and I haven’t discussed ours but Zhao Ju Di put them in your weekly summary yesterday or maybe the day before?” Zhao Haoran answered, giving his niece a good firm hug then lifting her up in his arms as he stood. “Though, “ He leaned in and tried not to laugh when Lei Xiulan leaned in too to listen. “Zhao Ju Di sometimes gets fuzzy brained when it comes to meeting our tailor Mistress Song. We can go back over them. I know that she will not mind at all to redo them. She’ll just rework the dress to donate to one of the girls in training.” He reached over gently tugging a silky strand of hair.

Lei Yu flushed in embarrassment and shook his head, his own mind a bit fuzzy. “No…” he managed, though what his brain unhelpfully attached to was something else entirely. “...sweetheart?” 

“Goes well with _ sweetness _ , right?” Zhao Haoran responded, flushing as he realized what he’d said. He hoped his light tone would save him a little face and get Lei Xiulan to distract him. 

“Yes!” Lei Xiulan agreed, patting his red cheek. “Ran- _ shu  _ is a tomato!”

“Yours and baba’s tomato. I hope you don’t eat me up already.” Zhao Haoran laughed, leading them out of the room to go to the market. He reached out a hand to hold Lei Yu’s. “Now, I am going to be honest, Sweetness. Sometimes I or Miss Pretty can’t go in a store or to a stall. If you still want to go you  _ have _ to hold baba’s hand and not leave his sight, alright?” 

“Okay,” she said, nodding at that, and smiled over at her father, who smiled back. “We’re going to market, baba!”

“We are,” he said, hardly able to believe it. He hadn’t been outside in four years and that thought made him feel strange. How much had the world changed since he’d been locked away? To know there was a whole world outside that he hadn’t been a part of for so long was an ache in his soul. Still, he smiled, and gently squeezed Zhao Haoran’s hand in comfort.

Though that had another thought settling as Zhao Haoran’s words sunk in. “You’d let us go in without you?” he asked, surprised. 

“ Of course I would.” Zhao Haoran smiled, lifting the man’s hand to press a fond kiss to it. “Though if you were going to the riverside of the city, I would ask you to please take at least one of our guards with you. The spring equinox is coming and I want both of you to be safe wherever you go. Now if you’re here then you do not need one. Our family owns or protects most of the shops here so our family will step up to protect you if needed.” 

“...okay,” Lei Yu said, feeling a bit overwhelmed. Go out? Without his husband? He could do that? “Thank you. I will make sure to have a guard if i go… that way.” Wherever that even was. “But if I were to go to the spring festival, it would be with you, husband.”

“And our little peony right?” Zhao Haoran kissed her cheek and then Lei Yu’s hand once more. His eyes widened with excitement as they approached the stall that he’d been talking about all morning.

“There it is!” He said proudly. 

Though it wasn’t one that looked like it sold rice rolls because there were so many flowers around it and a brightly painted sign called  _ Granny’s Garden.  _ So it soon became clear why it was called that. The sweets and some of the vegetables there were cut and reshaped into peonies, lotuses, gladiolus, and succulents. 

Lei Xiulan gasped and wiggled in his hold. “A flower!” she said in excitement, pointing to the carrots shaped into a lotus. “Baba, look!”

“I see,” Lei Yu chuckled and came to stand with them, amused that she’d pointed to her vegetables, not the sweets. “Look at this one,” she said, picking up a candy peony. “It’s sugar.”   
  


“It’s pretty!” Lei Xiulan giggled, excited at the shape of it and how it caught the light like glass. “Can I have it baba?”

“I don’t see why not,” he said and looked a bit hopeful at Zhao Haoran. “If that’s alright with you, husband.”

“It’s fine for me. Just not too many. We have a whole row of stalls to try out today.” Zhao Haoran shrugged, not knowing if he was doing this right. It was easy to be an uncle to hand a child back but she was going to be his daughter. He wanted to be the best for her and Lei Yu. “We can take some home though, alright?”

“That was the plan, husband,” Lei Yu assured, seeing his slight worry. “She can have it after dinner as a treat before bed.”

She nodded happily, just excited that she got to have something, then pointed to one of the vegetables shaped like a cactus. “Teacher Wu has one on his desk,” she told Zhao Haoran.

“Oh he does? Those are from what I’ve been told very easy to care for. They just need love and water.” Zhao Haoran answered, ordering himself a spicy chicken rice roll. He glanced over at Lei Yu. “What would you like?”

Lei Yu panicked a little, not sure what to get. In the end, he settled for a vegetable rice roll to share with his daughter, who would no doubt try some of both his and Zhao Haoran’s. “Thank you,” he said as they walked away, nibbling at his roll. He held a bite out for Lei Xiulan and she took it with a wide grin seeing all the sweet carrots in it that she loved.

“Aren’t these the best?” Zhao Haoran hummed around a bite. His lips were a bit messy from where he was eating. A grain or two sticking. “I told you they would be. How do you like your’s, husband? Sweetness? Does Granny Flowers get your approval?” He asked as they made their way down the busy market street. 

“It’s good,” Lei Yu assured him, liking the warm and sweet taste of his roll. “I’d love to go there again.”

“Is yummy!” Lei Xiulan agreed happily, her face a mess of rice. Still, she looked for more. “Can I try yours, Ran- _ shu?”  _

“How about we make this a weekly thing? We all come out as a family and have fun.” Zhao Haoran offered, thrilled that it was going so well. In truth he’d been worried that this would overwhelm Lei Yu. He’d been confined to the manor since he’d been married to Shen Guangyu as his concucbine. “If that’s too much let me know.”

“It’s a perfect idea, husband,” Lei Yu smiled and chuckled as Lei Xiulan made a face around the spicy chicken piece she got. “Careful, little fish. You’ll burn your tastebuds.”

“It’s good,” she argued, though was puckering her lips adorably, making him laugh. She managed to swallow the bite, but noticeably only went for Lei Yu’s again, much to his amusement.

“I know the perfect solution for an over spiced tongue.” Zhao Haoran winked, coming to a stop at a stall that was serving small and large jars of flavored milk, tea, and water. Zhao Haoran chose the blueberry lemon water, then gestured for Lei Yu and Lei Xiulan to choose what they wanted before paying for it. 

Lei Yu took a fruit tea while Lei Xiulan asked for a cold coconut milk. She sipped on it as they moved on, humming around each little gulp. “This is soo yummy!” she said and laid her head against Zhao Haoran’s, since he was still carrying her, while entrusting her beloved goldfish to Lei Yu. “Thank you, Ran- _ shu.” _

“You’re welcome, sweetness.” Zhao Haoran leaned in to kiss her forehead then spotted a shop that he knew she would love. The shop was known for its colorful rice paper decorations that hung down from the ceiling as well as kites. “Now, you can choose at most two unless  _ baba _ says differently and…”

“Leave your milk with me, young mistress.” Zhao Mei cut in liking the shop too. He knew she’d probably get the blue and purple jellyfish. 

Lei Xiulan handed her the cup obediently and gasped in delight as he carried her close. “Fishes!” she said, pointing up at a few dangling, rather fat fish. The pink one, in particular, had her interest. “Can I have that one, Ran- _ shu?’  _ she asked with big, hopeful eyes.

Lei Yu chuckled to see how quickly Zhao Haoran melted. “Careful, she’s very good at melting hearts,” he teased softly and glanced around for the kites. There were a few fish here as well, he was happy to note, and grabbed a bit sunny gold and orange one down. “Look, little fish. This one flies. We can fly him around the park.”

She gasped. “Yes, please!” she saad, lightly patting the kite’s face. “Can we get this too, Ran- _ shu?  _ Please?” 

“Yes, of course we can. Just know that flying isn’t something Ran-shu is good at. You’ll need to teach me.” Zhao Haoran answered, gesturing warmly to the shop owner to pack up the rice paper decorations and kites. “Wonderful selection, sweetness.” 

She preened at that and took back her milk to sip, though her grin was almost too wide to drink properly. Lei Yu finished his tea and tucked the bottle into his sash so he could carry the fish, as well as Bubbles. “I am more fish than man at this point,” he said teasingly to Zhao Mei, his eyes soft as Zhao Haoran and Lei Xiulan excitedly went to the next stall. 

“Yes, you are.” Zhao Mei chuckled, softly. Her eyes bright with being out and took a deep breath of the fresh air. She eyed Zhao Haoran and Lei Xiulan then gave her new Master a careful look over. “Are you doing alright? This can be alot.”

It was a lot, but Lei Yu found himself nodding. “Perhaps it’s bad to say, but I’m glad my ankle hurts. Having something to focus on makes this a bit easier,” he admitted, softening all the more watching his daughter and husband. “And I’m glad to see my daughter enjoying herself. That makes everything worth it.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Zhao Mei smiled at him. Though she’d noticed how the man had looked at Zhao Haoran and Lei Xiulan together. “He’s going to be spoiled by her being so sweet. What are we going to do?”

“Give him to Miss Xin and Mis Ju Di to deal with,” Lei Yu said smartly and smiled a bit shyly at her laugh. “You are also going to be spoiled by her. I can tell she’s already won your heart over. She’s sneaky like that.”

“Yes, but my head isn’t getting so big right now. He probably won’t be able to fit through the side gate by the time we return home.” Zhao Mei laughed some more. Which of course made Zhao Hoaran finally pay attention to her. His eyes narrowed and she just shrugged her shoulder at him. 

“Fatherhood can do that. I say we let him have it today,” Lei Yu mused, a similar smile on his face that Zhao Mei had. He felt a bit brave and winked at him.“Don’t mind us, husband. We are only talking about you.”

“I can hear it in her snorting laughter that  _ isn’t _ cute.” Zhao Haoran teased, then stuck his tongue out like a three year old at Zhao Mei. 

“Your behavior isn’t befitting a Lord. I thought Lords were role models or something?” Zhao Mei teased back. Sort of not rising to the bait as she stalked up to him to take Lei Xiulan from him. 

“Or something.” Zhao Haoran laughed, then started towards a stall that sold trinkets, trinket boxes, and letter boxes. There were also letter openers. He ran his fingers over one that had a sea serpent etched into the blade with blooms of lotuses around it. 

“Knives?” Lei Xiulan asked, a bit warily, but curious at the selection. Lei Yu moved in beside them to soothe her.

“Letter openers,” he said and quickly looked for a trinket to distract her. She was wary about weapons because of Madam Shu always carrying knives, and he held up a little rock carved duck that she beamed at, thankfully. “Look at this duck, little fish. Doesn’t it look like the ducks in the pond at home?”

“Yes!” she said happily, patting its tiny head. “Miss Pretty, look! Quack, quack!”

“Oh, I like those! I can’t wait for you to see them at the park later.” Zhao Mei grinned, taking the duck and little one back into her arms from where she’d let her down for a moment. 

“Nothing we need at the moment.” Zhao Haoran smiled and went for the trinket boxes. One was adorned with soft pink pearls and hand drawn peonies. “But this, this looks good for secret hiding places.” He winked at Lei Yu getting it before the little girl could spot it.

Lei Yu smiled at that. “She’ll love it,” he promised, glancing over at the trinkets. There was a porcelain dog figurine that made him smile, and he picked it up before he could stop himself, chuckling at the happy carved face. “Look, husband,” he said and held it up to the man’s face, as though to compare them. “Looks just like you.”

“Oh yes, that stoic jawline that my family is known for.” Zhao Haoran chuckled, leaning into his husband as he looked at it. “You can get anything you want. It doesn’t have to be for me.” 

“I’m not good at that,” Lei Yu admitted, though he was still smiling at the little dog. “But I will buy this, because it makes me think of you. It can go in our room.”

“I like that, and this reminds me of you.” Zhao Haoran leaned around him to reach for a swan. It was beautiful and made from a tortoise shell with some painting of the wings. “Don’t you think? You’re elegant and kind to those you love.” 

“I do like swans,” Lei Yu blushed, then leaned in to kiss under his eye. “Thank you. Let’s get them both.”

“You’re welcome.” Zhao Haoran preened over him. He moved to pay for their things. “Do you want to go with her to the shoe shop?” He wrapped an arm loosely around Lei Yu’s waist so that he could be the man’s support. 

“Are you not allowed in?” he asked, curious, and held out the fish kite and decoration. “And can you put these in your qikan pouch? I have a feeling we’ll need our hands free as we continue to shop.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not but our peony needs shoes and you need some to. Don’t think I didn’t realize that your boots were tight, husband.” Zhao Haoran winked at him. Of course he knew he wouldn’t be able to go inside of the shop. That’s why he had kept reminding him that there were some places that he couldn’t go. But the two of them needed shoes and he wasn’t going to let him not being allowed into the store prevent them from getting what they needed. Plus it would help the other feel comfortable enough to step away from him and not feel controlled. That he could just be himself with his daughter in his shop and pay for their shoes. He wanted to give him another piece and his of himself that he lost since being in the manor. 

Lei Yu was quiet for a moment as Zhao Haoran put away the kite and paper fish in his magic pouch. He knew the Zhaos weren’t always welcome, and he had no issue going in without him. But it did make him wonder. “Tell me, Zhao Haoraon, what did you do to be kicked out by the shoesmith?” he asked, lightly, so Zhao Haoran would know he was teasing. “Did you try on the woman’s shoes and scar him for life?”

“Sort of… though it wasn’t scarring. I asked to purchase shoes for one of my trainees and I was wearing my Zhao training robes for the first time there. She wasn’t there with me, I was going to surprise her, and he kicked me out.” Zhao Haoran laughed it off. He smiled warmly at Lei Yu. 

It was appalling. Lei Yu stared at him a long moment in shock. “You still recommend his services?” he asked, incredulous, and frowned. “All due respect, but I do not wish to associate with people who are that way. I understand your family is not welcome everywhere, but your family is my family now too. I’d rather go somewhere that welcomes all of us.”

“He’s the best shoemaker in town and I only want the best for you all. Some people are scared of us and that’s okay.” Zhao Haoran responded, reaching up to gently pat his cheek. “But if you want there is a little old man’s shop that I know that lets us in. It’s not a ways down the market.” 

“A-Ran.” Lei Yu gently touched the hand on his cheek and for a moment it almost felt like the world stopped. “You are my family, my husband. He will learn one way or another that I’m Zhao too and will throw me out, as well as my daughter. I do not wish to give money to people who will turn their back. Show me this old man’s shop, I wish to go there,” he said and leaned in to kiss him, unashamedly, in the middle of the street. “Okay?”

“O-Okay.” Zhao Haoran nodded, a little dazed from the kiss. He motioned for Zhao Mei not to go towards the other store. “And I don’t want you to be kicked out either. The old man is a bit quirky.” 

Lei Yu nodded, softening at that. “I don’t mind quirky,” he promised and offered his arm to the man to take. “After all, I’m marrying a puppy.”

“A grown puppy. I at least know myself.” Zhao Haoran brightened, “Oh, she’s going to love Kuai. He’s a miniature me.” He laughed. Then lifted Lei Yu’s hand up to kiss it again after it had drifted back down to their sides. 

“And she loves you very much,” Lei Yu agreed, pleased at the blush it got him. His hand tingled from the kiss as he guided the man’s arm around his. “Hopefully he likes to play, because she will be nonstop with him.”

“Kuai does so don’t worry and he’ll be just as in love with her as we are. He’s quite lovable.” Zhao Haoran responded, preening at being allowed to hold him as they walked on. 

‘I can’t wait to meet him,” Lei Yu said and smiled over at his daughter, who was talking excitedly to Zhao Mei about something involving frogs. He chuckled and shook his head. “Where is the shop?”

“It shouldn’t be too far. His sign is actually for a bakery. He liked the name and didn’t change it.” Zhao Haoran chuckled, then caught some of Lei Xiulan’s conversation. “We are going to have a zoo of wraiths when she gets her own.” 

Lei Yu could only smile at that, proud. “I’m honestly looking forward to it.”

So he had been accurate about how far away the shoe shop was, but he was glad that it was open today. The old man had bought it from a baker that was moving to Yiling. He’d not done much to fix it up. Turned the kitchen into a stockroom and took out most everything. He still had the counter though. Which to Zhao Haoran seemed so funny. He kept encouraging the Lei’s to look around and reassuring them it was okay to choose more than one. 

“The goal is three, A-Xiu, and you only have two here. And that looks good.” Zhao Haoran said, noticing Lei Yu trying on a pair of neutral brown boots. “Good for summer and winter.” 

Lei Yu nodded, feeling a little shy about it. “I may get this pair,” he said carefully, though Zhao Haoran’s encouraging nod had him relaxing noticeably. 

“I want boots too!” Lei Xiulan said, finally getting the hang of shopping. Her eyes were huge as she looked at his boots, then turned to look at the shoemaker. “Excuse me, please. Can I have boots like baba’s?”

“Of course, dumpling. Tada-da.” The old man responded cheerfully before going to the back to get some boots like Lei Yu’s. 

“She’s our secret weapon.” Zhao Haoran chuckled, “She’ll melt every heart she meets.” He thought about when she’d be older and how he felt a sudden protectiveness he hadn’t get before. It made him wonder how Lei Yu could stand the worry. But it was worth it. 

“Of course,” Lei Yu chuckled, seeing that flicker in Zhao Haoran’s eye. His smile softened knowingly. “Ahh, you’re feeling it, aren’t you? That fear and pride of a father.”

“Yes and I am now sure this is what my mother was talking about the other day.” Zhao Haoran reached out for Lei Yu in comfort and understanding. “She laughed when I said understand, but it hadn’t hit me yet.” 

“Just wait for that moment you realize she’s only five and you have to guide her through growing up, that you are instrumental in how she perceives the world,” Lei Yu said, kissing his hand. “It’s terrifying, but I wouldn’t give it up for anything.”

“I wouldn’t either and the best part is that I get to spend it with you.” Zhao Haoran responded with a grin. He was going to brag on her some more when the old man returned with two sets in his hand. 

“Here we go dumpling and I found these in green. You might like them for playing.” The old man said, kneeling to help her put them on. 

She gasped happily and stood still for him, then lifted her booted foot with wide eyes. “I like them!” she decided, grinning wide at the shoemaker and twirling in place to make her dress swish. “Thank you!”

“You’re most welcome.” the old man grinned, then turned his attention to Lei Yu. He looked down at the man’s feet and legs. “Perhaps we should get you another pair. Those won’t fit once your ankle goes down, Master Lei.” 

“I agree, maybe a size down?” Zhao Haoran called to him and the old man waved him off to go find the other pair of boots a size smaller.

Lei Yu blushed. “I don’t need…” he trailed off at Zhao Haoran’s hopeful face and sighed. “Just one pair,” he murmured, pulling on the man’s bangs. “I don’t want to waste such hard work.”

“Well if it’s not needed then we can just donate it to someone who does? How does that sound? Unless you still just want the one pair to come home with us.” Zhao Haoran asked, reaching up to childishly tug on a lock of silky hair. Though his tug was less successful mostly because then began twirling it around his finger. 

Lei You sighed again. “One pair that fits me now, one pair to wear after,” he agreed, giving Zhao Haoran a look. “And just when I thought I was immune to puppy eyes,” he muttered and poked the man in the nose.

“Eh, it happens to everyone and how can you be immune?” Zhao Haoran gestured to Lei Xiulan who was giving Zhao Mei a little show with her boots on. He felt proud and happy in that moment. The poor dear hadn’t had this in a while. “She’s the sweetest dumpling there is.”

“She really is,” Lei Yu agreed, watching his daughter with pure love in his face. His eyes went a bit misty, hearing her laughter. “I hope she never loses this joy and that she’s always this blessed in her life.”

“You as well. I know you haven’t always known kindness but know that I will try to give you some.” Zhao Haoran said, wrapping his arm around him before leaning up on his toes to kiss the man’s cheek instead of his jaw. Lei Yu chuckled at that and pulled him in, nuzzling in for a proper kiss.

There was a quick pattering of feet before he could get more than one kiss in. “Baba! Lookit!” Lei Xiulan said happily, showing off her shoes, then leaning up as best she could. “Kisses!”

“Yes, they are lovely,” he said with a soft laugh and plucked her up to kiss her cheek. She preened and settled in his arms, kicking out a foot to show Zhao Haoran.

“Lookit!” she beamed at him. “They’re cute!”

“They are the cutest, especially when they are on the feet of the prettiest peony of Meishan.” Zhao Haoran praised her, leaning in to kiss her cheek too then tickled her leg. He turned around with a smile to find the old man watching them with his own crooked smile. 

“I’ll take them all. How much do I owe you?” Zhao Hoaran asked, moving to take out his pouch. 

“That’d be five gold and two silver ingots.” the old man answered, moving behind his bar to his own satchel of money. Zhao Haoran gave him seven pieces of gold instead and the man shook his head.

“No, no. That is too much.” 

“There are seven pairs of shoes coming home with us. It’s fair.” Zhao Haoran stated, looking over his shoulder at Lei Xiulan. “Ain’t that right sweetness, fair is fair?”

“Fair is fair,” she chirped, giggling and swinging her foot. “Thank you for the shoes!”

Lei Yu bowed his head more properly and smiled. “Yes, thank you. Your work is truly exquisite. May I ask, do you like peach cake, by chance?”

“I do.” The old man brightened, “May I perhaps be seeing some in my future?” His brown eyes practically beaming at Lei Xiulan’s happiness. Zhao Haoran’s plan having worked and kept the old man from fussing about being paid properly for his work. 

“Of course,” Lei Yu chuckled. “My chef makes amazing peach cakes and we just had our first peach harvest. I’ll ask him to make you some as a symbol of our appreciation, and what I hope can be a lasting friendship.

“Yes, friends share peach cake!” Lei Xiulan said with a cheeky grin. 

“Yes they do.” Zhao Haoran grinned then thanked him so that they could go out of the shop. Zhao Mei was putting the shoes in a qikan satchel that'd strung across her back.

“Don’t worry. They will be safe till we get home and this can hold a bunch of things.” She winked at her young charge who watched mystified. 

“So cool!” Lei Xiulan said with stars in her eyes. “Can I have one?”

“Yes, once you are a little older. You have to focus your  _ qi _ long enough. If you don’t then it’s just a satchel. Like if Master Lei was to put his hand in there. He’d feel nothing.” Zhao Mei explained to her kindly. “We must not trick  _ baba _ either just because he can’t do what you do.” 

She nodded seriously, wrapping her arms protectively around Lei Yu’s neck. “Won’t trick baba,” she promised and squished her cheek to his. “Will work hard and practice!”

“That’s my girl,” Lei Yu nuzzled her back, bouncing her a little in his arms. Lei Xiulan giggled, then looked curiously at Zhao Haoran. “What’s next, Ran- _ shu?”  _ she asked curiously. “Can we go to the park?”

“Of course we can but no running off there is going to be a lot of people. The spring equinox is coming. Has Teacher Wu taught you anything about it yet?” Zhao Haoran asked, curiously as he guided them towards the park. He’d decided that he’d leave Lei Xiulan’s education as long as it isn't harmful to her completely up Lei Yu. Zhao Haoran had wanted to build trust between them. 

“Yes!” She perked up at being able to answer him directly. “Teacher Wu says it’s when we’re halfway through spring!” she said cheerfully. “He showed me lots of stars through his telescope too! They’re  _ so  _ pretty!”

“And then we’ll be into summer, and we’ll have the summer dances,” Lei Yu said, making her wiggle more.

“Yes! Can we dance again, baba?” she asked him. “And all the plum cakes, too!”

“We’ll dance,” he promised her and winked at Zhao Haoran. “You can dance with Ran- _ shu  _ also. I’m sure he’d love to see how well you dance.”

“Of course I would! And maybe you can teach this chicken legged shushu of your’s how to dance right.” Zhao Haoran grinned, leaning in to kiss Lei Xiulan’s cheek. He was so glad that it looked like they were having fun. He directed them over to a nice spot and Zhao Mei took out a blanket from her satchel.

“May I take her with me to the stall to get us some niango and dumplings?” Zhao Mei asked Lei Yu. The stall was directly in their line of sight.   
  


“You may,” Lei Yu said, kissing his daughter’s forehead. “Keep a hold of your Ran- _ shu’s  _ hand and be on your best behavior. After we eat, we’ll fly our kite, okay?”

“Yes! Okay!” Lei Xiulan gasped excitedly and hurried to take Zhao Haoran’s hand. Lei Yu smiled at them, then turned to help Zhao Mei set up the blanket for their lunchtime picnic.


	9. Chapter 9

It was long after dark when they made the walk home. The day had been long and full of fun, with good food, flying kites, and even fireworks. Lei Yu’s foot was aching, but with Lei Xiulan sleeping soundly on his back, he continued to march on without complaint. Her tiny snores were like tiny jolts of energy, helping him forward.

“Thank you for today,” he said sleepily to Zhao Haoran when their home was in sight. The idea had something in his heart warming with joy. “I’m glad I could give her this joy and share it with you. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome and thank you for coming with me. I know this was a lot but I am glad you took the risk.” Zhao Haoran smiled as they went through the side gate.

“I can take her to her rooms and stay with her if you’d like.” Zhao Mei offered, knowing that last night she’d woken up set from a nightmare.

Lei Yu nodded and stopped so the woman could gently extract his daughter. She fussed only a little, but once her wooden goldfish was in her hand, she settled and started snoring again. Lei Yu kissed her cheek, smiling warmly. “Thank you, Miss Pretty. Goodnight.”

“You’re welcome Master Lei.” Zhao Mei slightly curtsied due to her precious cargo. “Sleep well.” She gave Zhao Haoran a look before heading towards her charges rooms. 

“Come husband, you’ve got to be tired.” Zhao Haoran stated, moving in and promptly sweeping the man off his feet. He was lucky that the rooms the man had were on the first floor of the eastern wing. The steps were narrower and plenty of them to the second floor. He gave Lei Yu a moment to adjust himself. “Would you like a bath or just help getting ready for sleep?” 

“Sleep. I don’t think I’d be able to get back up if I took a bath,” Lei Yu admitted with a soft chuckle and leaned in to kiss his husband’s cheek. He was quiet as they made their way back, a content smile on his face. “It’s strange. I’ve dreamed of going outside these walls many times. Countless times. I told myself I would run with A-Xiu if I had the chance. Run and never look back. I worried that to taste freedom and be forced back here would be far worse than anything Madam Shu ever did to me, and yet… today, you gave me freedom. Coming back here I only felt… like I was coming home. With you and with A-Xiu. Does that make sense?”

“It does make sense. This wasn’t a home before. It was a prison and there was no hope here. Now, we are making it a home.” Zhao Haoran said as he sat him down on the bed. One of his  _ qi _ dumbo rats popped out then turned into several as they stirred the fire and lit the candles. Zhao Haoran knelt down to take Lei Yu’s shoes.

“Yes, I suppose we are,” Lei Yu mused, eyes closed in tired bliss. He blindly undid his sash and let his outer robes slide down his shoulders. “Stay with me tonight, husband?”

“Of course.” Zhao Haoran responded, setting the boots neatly off to the side so that the man wouldn’t trip over them. He checked the bandages then stood up to help Lei Yu get untangled from his outer robes. “Go ahead and get tucked in. I’ll be back in just a moment.” He gestured Lei Yu towards the bed, before going to vanity to unlace his own boots. 

Lei Yu stayed where he was, pulling free his hair pin and shaking the knot loose before slowly following him to the vanity to set it down. He braided his hair lazily and tied it off. “I’ll wait for you,” he said, hip pressing to the side of the vanity to take his weight off his ankle. “After all, I want to thank you properly for today.”

“Oh? I get to be held??” Zhao Hoaran brightened like a pup that's been praised and was getting a treat. “You might not have realized like this but I am very much a pup.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” Lei Yu huffed a laugh, seeing a wagging tail and perked ears in his mind’s eye. He moved forward to hook his fingers in the man’s sash and slowly pulled it free. “And of course you automatically assume I meant cuddling. Which, I suppose I do, for I very much intend to hold you all night.”

He gently folded the sash on his vanity seat and met his eye. “You’re blushing, pup,” he remarked and slid his hands up Zhao Haoran’s torso, hooking the outer robe with his fingers and giving it enough of a push for it to slide almost sensually to the floor. Lei Yu smiled, glad he still had the magic touch, so to speak, and bit his lip to hold in the laughter. “Are you breathing?”

“I-I...y-yes.” Zhao Hoaran stumbled, flushing from him not being able to speak right. He was a zhao and there was supposed to be some natural charm there. When in fact he had zero. He’d been all but thrilled he was going to be held. He’d wanted the man to do it last night. In all honesty he hadn’t thought it would come this soon for Lei Yu to want him all in that way. His fingers trembled a little. 

“Oh, pup,” Lei Yu sighed lightly, taking those hands and kissing them. “I’m not going to ravish you… much,” he chuckled and leaned down to kiss under his eye. “You will be held and kissed. I don’t think we’re ready for sex quite yet, but there’s so much else we can do without going that far.” He felt almost  _ powerful _ , assured to see Zhao Haoran’s sweet blush and to know there was trust here. “I will, of course, stop when you wish. I will not force you to do anything. Tonight, I only wished for this.”

He went for Zhao Haoran’s next layer of robes, then the next, until he was bare skinned in his trousers. He very pointedly did not go for the lace tie at the man’s navel. Instead, he let his gaze drop down to a thin scar on Zhao Haoran’s chest and leaned in to kiss it, warm and open mouthed, his hands lightly cupping Zhao Haoran’s hips as he did so, just in case the poor puppy spooked and fainted in his arms. Wouldn’t that be a sight?

“O-okay.” Zhao Hoaran shivered at the kiss to his chest. He let his eyes flutter shut and he let Lei Yu control the pacing. He hadn’t known how to explain to Lei Yu that  _ he _ wasn’t ready but was glad that whatever sign that he’d given the man worked. Slowly, he brought up one hand to Lei Yu’s soft hair and the other to loosely wrap around the man’s waist keeping him close. 

“Sorry I rattled you,” Lei Yu breathed softly against his neck and kissed a trail back to his lips. He kept it gentle and tender, and his hands carefully roamed to Zhao Haoran’s lower back, then up his spine. “Come on, let's get cozy. My ankle is angry with me. Thankfully, I may be able to convince my puppy husband to kiss it better?”

“It’s not your fault. I’m not ready but you’re smarter than me in that department.” Zhao Haoran praised him, then lifted him up in his arms to carry him to the bed. It made him chuckle to have the other squirming to keep a hold. He pressed a kiss to Lei Yu’s bare shoulder before gently laying him on the bed. He reached down to remove the bandages. Then pressed a kiss to the swollen ankle before moving up the bed to lay alongside him.

“I don’t think I’ll be walking tomorrow,” Lei Yu sighed and wiggled free of his inner robe, so they had equal access to each other’s skin. He settled under the covers and tucked Zhao Haoran in with him, smiling despite the throbbing he felt. “Come here, husband. I don’t know how many kisses I’ll get through before I fall asleep, but I want them holding you.”

Zhao Hoaran didn’t care how childish it seemed, he preened under the man’s words. His gaze showed his mind working through what was happening. He honestly never thought that they would ever be like this soon either. He’d known of his elder brother’s neglect and suspected Madam Shu’s abuse. Zhao Haoran had been sure it’d be more like years before the man would warm up to him to even want to be in the same room alone. He reached up to tuck some strands of Lei Yu’s hair behind his ear before leaning up to kiss him softly. 

Lei Yu melted a little under the kiss and tucked the man close with his arm. “What is it, A-Ran?” he asked, nose rubbing the other’s. “You look like you’re thinking too hard about something. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I am just so lucky. So very lucky.” Zhao Haoran nuzzled back before kissing him. This kiss was probably the most firm kiss he’d given Lei Yu so far. His hand traveled through Lei Yu’s silky locks to cup the back of the man’s head loosely. 

Lei Yu smiled to feel it and settled in to let the man take control. A part of him was nervous to do so, but this genuinely innocent kiss so tenderly lowered his defenses, just enough that he felt relaxed in allowing it. If the puppy even did take control.

“I think that’s my line,” he purred and parted his lips a little under Zhao Haoran’s to show he was open and pliant to his whims. “You saved my life, and my daughter’s future. I can never thank you enough for that.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I have every faith with every fiber of my being that one day you would have figured it out.” Zhao Haoran stated, moving back a little to stare into Lei Yu’s beautiful eyes. He felt a good heaviness take hold in his chest. “You’re my life now. Every advantage or disadvantage is for our family.”

A heaviness was in Lei Yu’s chest as well and he felt his eyes dampen. He kissed Zhao Haoran to hide his tears, smiling wide against his mouth. “Our family,” he breathed out, content. “I like the sound of that.”


	10. Chapter 10

It was still a bit surreal being back in this kitchen. Gu Ming felt like he was floating, even if the work was hard. He liked to be as prepared for the day as he could be, and that meant a full morning. Thankfully, he had help with the second chef and the headmistress of the servants. Many hands make light work, or so it went. He believed in it fully.

He’d always been a jolly man, happy and content with his lot in life. He wasn’t a cultivator, wasn’t some tall, dark, and handsome warrior to make the ladies swoon. He was slightly plump and stocky, with round happy cheeks and an ever present smile. Even when he’d nearly worked himself into an early grave to help his sister, he’d kept right on smiling. Many things in the world could be brighter because of smiles, he firmly believed, and so he did.

It was in that time between breakfast and lunch that the door opened to his kitchen. Usually, this space of time was reserved for preparing the dessert dough for the evening, and as such he was joyously dotted in flour, from his messy top knot, to his apron, to even his shoes. His smile was instantly wider as he turned to look and he brightened all the more when he saw who it was.

“Ahh, miss Mei! I was wondering when you’d show up,” he chuckled at the rather notorious sweets thief. He nodded to a platter of sweet cakes on the counter. “Set some aside for you this morning. Have at them.”

“Oh, you are delicious! Thank you.” Zhao Mei grinned, not caring about her shameless words. Since moving to the manor and being assigned as being Lei Xiulan’s prominently lady and bodyguard. Today her hair was in an intricate braided ponytail. Instead of her teal or burgundy. She was wearing her pale yellow hanfu with pink and white peonies embroidered on the hems and sleeves. Her hair and ears jingled from the golden trinkets and earrings. “But I have a few for you. Madam Zhao is coming so we need to ..oh that looks good.” She got distracted by the peach puff with a small piece of honeycomb. She took one and ate it with a pleased hum. “And it’s delicious.” She licked her fingers.

Gu Ming just chuckled at that, flushing with pleasure. “I’m glad you approve,” he said with a happy bow of his head. “But please, go back. Did I hear you say Madam Zhao is coming?”

“Yes and her sweets is blueberry lemon cake with vanilla icing.” Zhao Mei responded, walking over to Gu Ming. Not minding in the slightest about the flour. She flicked some of the flour off his shoulder so that he could rest her chin on it. “What are you making now? It looks  _ and _ smells good.” 

He blushed a little and chuckled. “Something you’ll get at dinner,” he said, knowing this routine. “No need to put on the charms, Miss Mei.” Still, he appreciated her being herself. She was a jolly soul too, just like he was, and he could feel the kinship between them.

“Blueberry lemon cake… I think I have some,” he mused, still carefully kneading his dough. “When is she due?”

“She is due an hour or so before dinner and she might stay with us so another pot coffee needs to be added to breakfast.” Zhao Mei grinned, “and no charms. Just the truth. You’re an excellent chef and baker.” 

“And you are an excellent Zhao lady,” Gu Ming praised back, making note of what she said. He set his dough ball in a bowl to rest and rise, covered it with cloth, then moved to check his stock. He did, in fact, have some blueberry lemon cakes left, which was a relief, and set about to whip up some glaze so they weren’t plain. “Thanks for the head’s up, Miss Mei,” he said warmly, a twinkle in his eye.

“You’re most welcome.” Zhao Mei responded, twirling around to watch him go. In truth she had been flirting in hopes that the man would notice. However he had only remained the same friendly self. She took another one of the peach and honey comb puffs. “Master Gu.” She made a little pout but let it fade before he could see it.

“Ahh, Miss Mei? Could you perhaps do me a favor?” he asked, knowing that was her usual farewell. A kettle had started steaming and he hurried over to it, pouring it into a cup and sprinkling some herbs into it. It was a heavy smell, as most medicine was, but he’d worked hard to make it pleasant. He beamed as he held the cup to Zhao Mei. “Could you take this to my a-jie?” he asked. “It’s about time for her medicine. I’d be most grateful and will, of course, pay you with more peach puffs.”

“And some of whatever that is that smells so good.” Zhao Mei responded, moving to take the pot to set it on a tray, “then Master Gu, you have a deal.” She winked at him. 

He blushed and beamed at her. “You make it very hard to surprise you,” he huffed, since the cooking pastries were for later, but what was the harm, really, in her getting them early? “Very well, Miss Mei. Peach puffs and my secret pastries. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Chef Delicious, as my young Mistress calls you.” Zhao Mei smiled brightly at the mention of his sweets being given to her. She bowed then lifted the tray to go towards the man’s rooms that he shared with his elder sister. 

Zhao Mei lightly tapped on the door. “Mistress Gu, May I come in?” She called softly through the door.

“You may!” Gu Qing called back, the faint squeak of her wheelchair around the words. When Zhao Mei came in, she was before her fire embroidering, and her smile, much like her little brother’s, was immediate and warm. “Miss Mei, good to see you,” she said happily and rolled her chair back a little to make room for the woman to set down the tray. It was a special chair, one that allowed her free movement. No tall back, so no way to rest against a cushioned seat, but she would choose her mobility over that any day.

She took the offered medicine with little fuss, used to this routine. “So, how are things going with my  _ didi?”  _ she grinned with a knowing look at Zhao Mei.

“He is doing well. A little pale. He needs to be careful of working so hard.” Zhao Mei answered, sitting down at the woman’s feet. She loved spending time with the woman and watching her work. She helped keeped the strings from tangling. “How are you?” 

“Sore, so this tea is right on time,” Gu Qing smiled, which livened up her whole face. Unlike her brother, she was lean and small, almost petite, and a bit fragile looking from her years of being unwell. Still, there was an echo of the beauty she’d been in her expression and good humor in her warm brown eyes. “And I meant your wooing. How is that going?”

“Oh,” Zhao Mei went bright eyed and small rosiness rose to her cheeks. She still wasn’t used to being so open with his sister but she’d spilled her own  _ figurative  _ tea. “He..I think I’m misreading him. Perhaps we are more suited to be friends which is fine with me.” She didn’t want her to think she’d force the man into doing anything he didn’t want.

“You’re not,” Gu Qing assured, having heard her brother’s gushing firsthand. “Though he may be misreading  _ you.  _ He’s not a man many people flirt with, so it tends to go over his head. You may need to be more direct.”

She sipped her tea and made a bit of a face, but still swallowed it down. Her smile hardly wavered. “You see, he’s only had one suitor before and she ended up leaving him for someone else. He’s just not used to catching anyone’s eye.”

“Their loss is my gain. I’ll try again. This time I’ll be more direct but if he declines I’ll just stay being friends with him. I don’t want to upset him.” Zhao Mei stated feeling better. “I’m glad she found someone else. That means he’ll have someone better loving him and not looking at other prospects.” 

“I am too. Never trusted her,” Gu Qing said with a huff. “She and my former husband deserve each other. You are and will be far better for him than she could ever hope to be.”

“I am so sorry….” Zhao Mei apologized. She hadn’t known the reason for Gu Qing’s divorce or why Gu Ming didn’t have many suitors coming around; now that she did she wished that those two got a bitter end. “Father always said, cheaters  _ always _ cheat. They’ll get their bitter end, Mistress Gu.” 

Gu Qing just shrugged, having already moved past it. “That is for their karma to decide, not mine or A-Ming’s,” she said with a smile. “You have my blessing to court him as long as you stay honest and true to him. Otherwise, we will have words, Miss Zhao Mei. I may be wheelchair bound, but I am still his  _ jie-jie  _ and I  _ will  _ find a way for you to meet  _ your _ karma if you hurt him.”

“I wouldn’t intentionally do so and I would gladly take any punishment you see fit.” Zhao Mei replied, giving her a warm smile back to her. Then moved to look up at the design she was currently working on. She reached up to lightly tap it. “That looks good. Do you have enough to complete it?”

“I do and I’m glad you like it,” Gu Qing said, pleased, and lifted it so the woman could see it was actually being embroidered onto a sash. “It’s for you.”

“Thank you. I will treasure it.” Zhao Mei responded, gently tracing the peony with thorns around it. “I love the colors you’ve chosen.” They were stunning with burgundy, pale pink, white, and black threads. She was honored to have her making something for her. 

“You are quite the popular muse,” Gu Qing giggled. “Not only did I have our little peony asking me to make you something, but Master Lei as well as my brother. You are something special to a lot of us here, Miss Mei.”

“What?” Zhao Mei blinked, blushing again. She didn’t know that she was that popular among them to deserve gifts. “Well you are all special to me and it’s not just because the Lei’s are my charges and we are fellow staff. I do treasure you all.” 

Gu Qing smiled and patted her hot cheek. “It’s your birthday soon, right?” she said in amusement. “That was why Master Lei wanted help with ideas for a gift for you. I think he ended up making you something on his own, though?”

“That’s right my birthday is almost a month away.” Zhao Mei smiled, leaning to rest her head gently on the woman’s knee to watch her work. Something that she’d found herself doing to watch her work and after they’d become friends. It warmed her heart to be allowed to spend time with Gu Ming’s elder sister. That’d been what opened her heart to liking him. 

“Well, expect a bunch of celebrating and sweets,” Gu Qing laughed. “Master Lei has been asking Master Zhao about as many birthdays as he can get. He wasn’t able to do a lot for us, but he does know the staff well, and birthdays are a way for him to send gifts and gratitude.”

As she said that, she patted Zhao Mei’s hair with a fond smile. “Speaking of Master Lei, shouldn’t you be heading back to our little peony? I’m sure she’s looking for her Miss Pretty.”

“You’re right but I wanted to make sure that you were fine after taking your medicinal tonic. I know he makes it right for you but I worry about you both.” Zhao Mei answered, getting up. “Do you need anything before I go?”

“Just a promise you’ll keep trying with him,” she giggled. “And perhaps you can join us for dinner tonight? And then for some drinks and desserts?”

“Oh yes.” Zhao Mei said, a bright smile on her face. She tidied her skirts. “Is there anything you’d like me to bring to our dinner?” 

“Just yourself,” Gu Qing smiled and patted her hand. “We’ll see you tonight. Give our little peony a kiss for me. I’ll see her tomorrow when she and Master Lei come to practice embroidery. I’m sure she’ll be spending most of that playing with you,” she laughed and waved her off. “See you later, Miss Mei.”

“I will and oh! Before I go, are we still having young Mistress’ embroidery lesson tomorrow morning instead of evening? Master Wu’s sheet was blank.” Zhao Mei asked before she was out the door. Her skirts swishing around from the cool breeze outside. She smelled the air. “It’s going to rain soon. Do you want me to grab the laundry or have A-Yuan do it?”

“Morning,” Gu Qing confirmed and gave her a teasing smile. “Don’t melt if you get caught in it. You’re all sugar, so be careful.”

“Alrighty,” Zhao Mei giggled, at the woman’s playful tone. “I’ve always thought I was salt. Maybe I’ll clump.” Then she went out to quickly grab the laundry. She folded it and left the one top that must belong to Gu Ming that’d gotten damp while waiting for her to get to it. Zhao Mei set it inside enough that if Gu Qing needed to get out she could. “There you go and don’t hesitate to call for me if needed, alright?”

“Of course. Have fun with the little one!” Gu Qing giggled and waved goodbye. “Stay out of trouble!”

“I shall try. Our resident Lord makes it hard.” Zhao Mei winked, then she was gone with a wave to go take care of her charge. On her way back to Lei Xiulan’s classroom she made sure to stop by the kitchen and took two more of the peach with honeycomb pastries for her and Lei Xiulan after letting Gu Ming know that his sister had taken all her tonic. 

  
  
  


It was the sound of the bells signaling that it was  _ si _ . Zhao Haoran had woken early from his husband’s embrace to go to his morning training. He was still too shy to tell him that Zhao Xin or Zhao Aang would be thrilled and  _ would _ drag him out of bed if he tried to skip it. When he got back the man was up, bathed, and Lei Xiulan was there trying to braid her father’s hair. Breakfast was already on the table and it was easy for him to join them. 

Their breakfast went well until he’d mentioned his mother was coming to visit them for a small brunch that would just be sweets and tea. That’d made Lei Yu nervous and it was obviously still bothering the man. He could feel and sense the stiffness.

“Don’t worry, she isn’t going to bite you or take me away I promise.” Zhao Haoran stated before kissing Lei Yu’s bare shoulder. His fingers worked the man’s silky black hair into a fishtail braid to match the twin fishtails that Zhao Mei had put in Lei Xiulan’s hair this morning. “You did get a chance to read the letter’s right? And don’t think they are going away...unless you ask her to stop.” 

“I won’t ask that,” Lei Yu said, blushing a little at the kiss. The letters were honestly kind and heartfelt, and that was part of the problem. Madam Zhao Dandan was very close to her son and protective of him. The only other time he’d been introduced to someone’s mother, it’d been Shen Guanyu showing him off to Madam Shu, and that hadn’t been about a good first impression, but shocking her into seeing Shen Guanyu’s started rebellion. 

But this was all about good impression, something Lei Yu had no expertise in. Hell, he didn’t even have a good first impression with Zhao Haoran!

He did his best not to groan and put on a brave smile. “I’m more worried she’ll  _ want  _ to take you away…”

“She won’t.” Zhao Haoran promised again, gently turning the man around once he tied off the end of the braid. A fond smile on his face as he looked the man over carefully. He reached up to gently caress Lei Yu’s cheek before gently tilting the man’s head down so he could kiss his forehead. “She’s going to love you and remember that Lei Xiulan is going to be there too. Unless you’d like her to wait for another meeting. I know  _ mama _ won’t mind.”

Lei Yu shook his head at that, managing a better smile. “No, she’s been too excited by the prospect of having a grandma. I don’t want to disappoint her. I’ll be alright,” he murmured and tucked the man close with a hand on his waist, drawing him in to kiss him slowly.

Since last night the slowness of him opening up during their kisses went away. This morning Zhao Haoran was a bit more passionate but still not completely taking over them. He continued to let Lei Yu be the lead. Though he’d started the habit of messing with Lei Yu’s hair in some way. “Alright, but if you…” Zhao Haoran said between kisses and twirling the man’s braid around his fingers. “..change your mind or need space. Let me know. We can have...what’s Miss Song say? Safeword?”

“Yes,” Lei Yu chuckled and kissed him a little deeper, if only to feel him shiver lightly in his hold. He left a little nibble on his lower lip for good measure. “I’ll let you know. For now… perhaps I should get some clothes on?”

“N-n..y-es. Clothes would be nice.” Zhao Haoran stuttered realizing that he’d fallen dazed from the deeper kiss. He’d wanted to drown in it despite their current conversation. His future husband could kiss him like that for hours, days even and he wouldn’t care. He gave Lei Yu’s braid one more twist then let the man go before he pulled him back in for another kiss. 

Lei Yu laughed and kissed that spot under his eye before moving to his wardrobe. It was a different kind of panic seeing the choices he had and not knowing what to wear. He swallowed. “What should I wear for her?”

“What you like best. She’ll probably be In something blue today. It’s warmer and the darker colors tend to capture more of it.” Zhao Haoran answered, as he looked at the colors. He liked the green because it was more of a sea foam color. But he remembered how uncomfortable green was for the man to wear after he'd been forced to wear it so much. “That beige and light orange is nice. I know A-Xiu was wearing her pink gown today.” 

Lei Yu nodded, liking the selection and kissed the man in gratitude. “Thank you,” he said as he carefully pulled the robes out and started pulling them on. “I probably would have ended up in something disastrous if I had to do this on my own…”

“No you wouldn’t have. Well unless you wore white like you were in mourning of our upcoming marriage then maybe.” Zhao Haoran chuckled, then went to put on his black robes with the burgundy Zhao motifs sewn on each shoulder. His belt was leather with metal looped snakes as the clasps. His hair was unruly today and he sighed loudly. 

Lei Yu had to chuckle at the way he pulled on his wavy tresses. Slipping on his final layer and securing it with his sash, he moved to the vanity for his comb and a black ribbon that was actually Zhao Haoran’s, but it had made it into Lei Yu’s own collection. The sight of it mixed in made him warm. 

“Come, husband, let’s tame you up a bit,” he teased and carefully started to comb through the mess. The hair was soft, only a mess because it’d been allowed to dry out of a braid, bouncy and carefree. It took a little time, but he managed to wrangle it into a simple braid. Tying it off, he kissed the side of Zhao Haoran’s neck and smiled at how the man seemed to melt into him. “How does that look?”

“I don’t know...maybe another kiss and I might know?” Zhao Haoran said, giving him puppy dog eyes in the mirror. He liked the low collar of his robes that allowed for Lei Yu to kiss him so. “What do you think?” 

“I think you are always handsome and I’ll always be willing to kiss you again,” Lei Yu chuckled, pressing a rather sensual, open mouthed kiss to his skin that time. He pulled away before either of them were too tempted. He settled for giving his husband a look over through the mirror and found himself remembering something.

“Did you know that you look like your father?” he asked softly, settling his chin on Zhao Haoran’s shoulder. “I thought it that first night, when I saw you. Madam Shu locked up the gallery, but there is a painting of your father in there, about your age. I’ve seen it a few times. You look just like he did.”

“Thank you. I do.  _ Mama _ says it from time to time.” Zhao Haoran leaned into the man. “She doesn’t have any paintings of him anymore. I accidentally messed up the one she did have when I was eight with my paints.” 

“Well, she’ll be happy to know there’s two in the gallery. She’s more than welcome to take one, or both,” Lei Yu said and nuzzled into his neck. It was comforting, he’d found, being able to smell Zhao Haoran’s skin and hold him close. He sighed a little, peeking out at Zhao Haoran through the mirror. “You’re turning me into a snuggling puppy just like you.”

“Good. We always need cuddles and  _ kisses _ .” Zhao Haoran responded. He reached up and lightly patted the man’s cheek. “And thank you. I am sure she would like at least one.” 

“Not sure why you’re thanking me. You own the gallery, after all,” Lei Yu pointed out and turned his face in to kiss the man’s cheek. He sighed again, tightening his hold a little on Zhao Haoran, as he heard the shuffling of servants outside. Once more, his worry came back, but he did his best to feel brave, and after one last little nuzzle and kiss, he straightened, though didn’t look at himself in the mirror, only ZHao Haoran. It was closer than he’d been to looking at himself in three years and that felt significant, but he wasn’t ready.

He hoped his fidgeting hands weren’t too obvious as they moved to the door. “Come, husband. We should probably get going…”

“Yes and don’t be surprised if she scolds me. I was supposed to send her letters for A-Xiulan but I forgot them on my work desk.” Zhao Haoran winced at his own stupidity. “I wasn’t trying to hide them, I promise. I just mistakenly thought they were work letters.”

Lei Yu snorted and reached over to take his hand. “It’s alright,” he assured the man. “And you don’t have to keep your work separate. Perhaps our rooms on the west wing can have a small office? So we don’t have this problem again.”

“But I like coming home to our family and leaving work in the office.” Zhao Haoran pouted a little and looped his arm around Lei Yu’s to allow the man to lead them. “That way I won’t be tempted to try to work during family time. Because family time is important.”

That got him a considering hum, then Lei Yu leaned in to kiss his cheek. “You’re right, it is,” he murmured, a bit pink in his cheeks. “Just know, if work does follow you home, I will be more than happy to help you leave it behind even if it’s not in your office. Unless I’m not a good enough distraction, in which case I’ll just send Miss Ju Di in to straighten you out.”

“You are more than good enough. You and A-Xiu are the reason I don’t want to bring work home.” Zhao Haoran responded, leaning up to kiss the man’s cheek. Just as he did the doors opened to go into the tea room with the help of Zhao Aang, who snorted at them. 

There seated at the table was a woman with long black hair that had silvery strands mixed in. It was in an elegant bun and she was in fact wearing her light blue gown with a thin beizi that had green, yellow, and blue warblers embroidered on it. She lifted her head from where she’d been messing with some twine around two very familiar looking envelopes. “Now, don’t you forget to give my granddaughter my letters you bra—.” Madam Zhao said blinking then rising to her feet to greet Lei Yu properly.

“We finally meet, Lei Yu!” Zhao Dandan smiled at him warmly. Then stepped up to give him a hug while giving her son a look. 

Lei Yu was startled to be hugged, but returned it only after a brief hesitation. “It is good to finally meet you as well, Madam Zhao,” he said respectfully, a small smile on his face when he saw Zhao Haoran pouting. “My daughter will be here shortly if you want to give her the letters yourself. She’s been very excited to meet her new  _ nainai.” _

“Just as I am happy to have a  _ sunnu  _ finally! I thought for sure that my son would be a bachelor his whole life. I am thrilled that he’s not and that I’ve earned another son and a  _ sunnu _ .” Zhao Dandan beamed, then turned to the man’s side to loop her arm through his free arm. “How are you feeling?”

“A little overwhelmed,” Lei Yu said honestly, though it was hard to stay guarded to such an eager smile and warm eyes. “And thinking I know where A-Ran gets his puppiness from.”

“His  _ fuquin _ of course!” Zhao Dandan laughed, heartily but she knew the truth. It was a mixture of them both. Though Zhao Hoaran’s nesting tendencies tended to come from his father. She didn’t understand the need for such a small space to have so much in it but it made sense to them and she wouldn’t stop them from it. “Well let me know what I can do to help you. I still have my own duties but I am more than happy to when needed or wanted.”

“Thank you. I just need some time to get used to this. The last four years have been me alone in this house,” Lei Yu admitted. “And those close to me being threatened or taken away. I’m not used to people being happy to see me, or wanting me to be a part of their life. So thank you,” he repeated, hoping his smile wasn’t as crooked and scared as he felt. “Thank you for wanting my daughter in your life to love. She deserves that.”

“You’re most welcome and I’d hate to add to your stress. But is it alright that I brought gifts? They are mostly for Lei Xiulan but there are a few for you too.” Zhao Dandan responded, nodding in understanding. She’d lived with Madam Shu first. “I remember all too well what it felt like to be out from underneath  _ her _ . So, just let me know if I am being too much. You won’t offend me. I just ask that if you can, don’t shut me out? I can help.”

Lei Yu nodded. “I can promise I won't. I have to get used to this eventually and my style is more… running headfirst into it. I will get used to this. I just need the time. But I will tell you if I need a break,” he said to that. “And gifts are fine. A-Xiu will be thrilled.”

“I sure hope so and when we get the chance we can go riding. Which is part of my duties. I help run the teaching of riding and some of the archery courses.” Zhao Dandan grinned. “Have you ever ridden a horse?”

“No,” Lei Yu admitted. “I haven’t, though I spent time in the stables with Guanyu. I’ve always liked horses and I miss having them since Madam Shu sold them. A-Xiu is very into fish at the moment, but Teacher Wu has a block puzzle in a horse shape that is her favorite. I know she’d love to learn.”

“Then we should take you riding when you feel up to it. I am sure that since there used to be stables here that they can be returned to them.” Zhao Dandan said, guiding them to the table. “I am glad then that I stopped and got her a turtle block puzzle.”

“She’ll adore it,” Lei Yu assured, helping her sit down politely, then doing the same to Zhao Haoran out of habit. He sat down gracefully and immediately moved to serve the tea. “Also, I spoke of this with A-Ran. Madam Shu closed the gallery, but now that your son owns it, all the paintings and tapestries in there belong to him and to you. There are two portraits of Lord Shen in there: a hunting portrait when he was A-Ran’s age, and his state portrait when he inherited.”

“Oh, thank you but know they belong to you too. We are family, Lei Yu.” Zhao Dandan replied, and accepted the tea that was poured for her. 

“She is right, Lei Yu. You have just as much say as we do. Except that you and I are the masters of this house. She has her own house and affairs. “ Zhao Haoran responded, stepping in to make Lei Yu a plate before the man could birdishly nibble. He’d not missed how the man had tried to skimp some breakfast. Though it’d been hard to complain when Lei Xiulan had run off Zhao Mei then the man had proceeded to kiss him stupid. Which he felt a small smile spreading across his face and his cheeks turned a bit red. 

“I think that’s enough peach puffs, son.” Zhao Dandan reached over lightly tapping her son’s wrist and giving him an incredulous look. 

‘Never enough for him,” Lei Yu managed to huff a laugh and sipped his tea. “Though that had better not be for me. You know I can only eat one.”

“But you like them.” Zhao Haoran said, childishly stubborn but no heat to his words.

“He’s not a chicken.” Zhao Dandan grinned.

“If he was then he’d be my favorite and a rooster. He sings beautifully, Mama.” Zhao Haoran praised him. “You should hear him sing to A-Xiu.” 

Lei Yu blushed, though gave Zhao Haoran a look. “I’m not a prized canary either,” he chided softly, though smiled to show he was more embarrassed than anything. “And chickens? I don’t think I’ve heard that story.”

“Oh yes, my boy used to think chickens were better than anything in this world, even puppies around Lei Xiulan’s age. He’d seen one of the Meishan Yu offer some chicks as a courting gift to one of our fellow disciples. We still have a few from the last bit he had as a teenager.” Zhao Dandan shared, adding an extra cube of sugar and milk to her tea. “They’d have been the ideal wedding gift then now I have to rethink what he’d like now.”

“Chickens are still good. I know A-Xiu would enjoy them,” Lei Yu offered and smiled at Zhao Haoran, who was beet red. “Are you breathing, husband?”

“Y-yes, I am just fine.” Zhao Haoran stuttered at first and grew more confident, especially when he reached out for Lei Yu’s hand. His fingers intertwining and fidgeting with Lei Yu’s longer, elegant ones. “And you’re right she would. But would Master Wu be upset about them being around the flowers?”

“He’s a farmer’s boy, I don’t think he’d mind much, but we can always ask,” Lei Yu said, giving his hand a squeeze. “The bigger worry is will your dog eat them?”

“They’d come closer to eating that pup then him. He’d barked at Tulip once as a pup and had him running around the courtyard.” Zhao Dandan laughed which Zhao Haoran joined in on. It was at that moment that there was a quick pattering of feet coming their way.

“Baba! Lookit!” Lei Xiulan exclaimed the moment the door opened. She had a bouquet of daisies and tulips in hand. “Pretties for…” She gasped, seeing the woman there and perked up. “ _ Nainai _ ?”

“There’s my  _ sunnu _ !” Zhao Dandan grinned at her. “Holding one of my favorite flowers! Did you know that when your Ran- _ shu _ was little he’d name all of his favorite chicks Tulip?”

“Chicks?” she asked, wide eyed, then giggled as Lei Yu gestured her over. She wasn’t necessarily shy, but her shoulders did turtle up a bit when she handed the bouquet over. “I like daisies,” she said, a toothy grin in place. “Teacher Wu made this for you! He said it’s nice to give flowers. Smells pretty too!”

“Oh yes it does! We must properly thank Teacher Wu before we leave. But now, my daisy  _ sunnu _ , how are you doing today?” Zhao Dandan asked, taking one of the daises and curling the stem around Lei Xiulan’s ear then doing the same to hers. 

“I’m good!” Lei Xiulan said cheerfully, beaming at the magic with the flowers. “Teacher Wu taught me how to make  _ qi  _ lights!”

“Oh, so you can make more than one now?” Lei Yu asked, impressed and excited. She beamed and nodded enthusiastically.

“Lookit!” she said and concentrated hard on her hand. True to her word, as soon as her signature pink  _ qi  _ ball of light popped up, two more bobbed up behind it. They were smaller, but they were there. She grinned at all of them. ”See!”

“You’re so good at them! But are you sure you made just lights? I think you’ve made little fairies too. If you squint real hard.” Zhao Dadan gasped, playfully squinting. 

“No, silly,” she giggled, especially when Lei Yu gently tickled her cheek. “They’re lights!”

“Ran- _ shu  _ is definitely silly,” he murmured, smiling over at Zhao Haoran with soft eyes.

“I think they’re fairies like  _ naiai _ says. So I guess I am.” Zhao Haoran responded, moving over to gently play with one of them. “You’re so talented, A-Xiu; you’ll be better than me.”

She giggled more and patted his hand. “Baba says it’s not  _ better,”  _ she corrected him with the smarts all five year olds had. “It’s learning.”

“That’s right, little fish,” Lei Yu smiled and lifted Zhao Haoran’s hand to kiss the knuckles. He blushed to see Zhao Dandan’s grin at the action, but still he did it. “I didn’t want her to feel it was a competition, just in case she was slower at something,” he murmured to Zhao Haoran. “Since she had a slower start.”

“That is so true. We can only grow into our best person to learn.” Zhao Haoran responded, flushing at the kiss. 

Lei Xiulan nodded sagely, then showed her lights to Zhao Dandan. “Can you make lights,  _ nainai?”  _ she asked curiously. “Baba can’t make lights, but that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay that baba can’t. That just makes him even more precious and to not take advantage of. Your baba trusts you to be honest with him.” Zhao Dadan responded, lifting her hand up as several warm blue lights appeared then joined together to form a turtle floating around her.

“Always honest with baba,” Lei Xiulan promised then grinned to see the wraith. She bounced on her heels. “Beans!”

“A-Ran gave her a soft toy turtle she named Beans,” Lei Yu explained, chuckling softly at his daughter’s enthusiasm. “A-Xiu, do you want to have some sweets and tea?”

She gasped and nodded, her little lights going out as she plopped down in his lap and reached for the plate Zhao Haoran had readied. All those peach puffs came in handy, he had to give the man that, for that was what she reached for first. She took a bite and hummed happily. “Mm! So yummy!”

“Very yummy,” Lei Yu agreed and took a bite of the pastry when she offered him some. “Thank you, little fish.”

“And they’re baba’s favorite. Though he tries to hide it. Say….how do you feel about lemon tarts? I like them a lot.” Zhao Hoaran grinned, as he ate a peach puff off Lei Yu’s plate too. He scooted closer to his family loving that he had them all here in one place. He’d have turned into a puppy which reminded him. He leaned into Lei Yu, to whisper in his ear. “Can I bring him now or later?”

“Bring who?” Lei Yu asked, just as Lei Xiulan predictably gushed about lemon tarts and how they were her favorite.

“You know who...the little me?” Zhao Haoran tried to answer quietly. His gaze flicking to his niece. His mother of course knew that it was Kuai. The man hadn’t gone this long without the pup by his side.

“...Oh.” Lei Yu blushed, embarrassed that he hadn’t understood right off, but shook his head. “Let your mother do her gifts first. Otherwise, the dog is all A-Xiu will care about. I’d like her to at least pay attention to Madam Zhao for a little while. She won’t pay attention to anything once your pup is here. She’ll just want to play.”

“Babas, what are you  _ whispering?”  _ Lei Xiulan asked in a hushed voice, no doubt trying to whisper and join in.

Lei Yu chuckled at her little face and gently steered her in a safe direction. “Some surprises for you, little fish,” he said and she wiggled in delight. “Your  _ nainai  _ brought you some gifts.”

“Really?” she gasped, wide eyed at Madam Zhao.

“Yes, I did, my darling  _ sunnu _ !” Zhao Dandan grinned then turned to start putting a few of the presents on the table. She handed a kind of medium sized box that was wrapped in a soft pale green silk and was rectangular. “Your baba assured me that this one would be a good one just for you.”

“What is it?” Lei Xiulan asked, even as she opened the box. She gasped again, bouncing in Lei Yu’s lap. “Beans!” she crowed and opened it fully to show off the wooden turtle puzzle, complete with its seashell decorations. “Thank you,  _ nainai!”  _ She hurried to get up and hug the woman, bouncing on her heels. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome! Hopefully from time to time you’ll visit with me at Dandan house and see the water and Beans that live there.” Zhao Dandan offered, “You’re welcome too, Lei Yu. Not just her or A-Ran.” She set up another box this one was more square and plain looking beside the intricate bow that almost looked like a black peony. 

Curious, Lei Xiulan opened the box and gasped yet again. “Pretties!” she said, excited, and hurriedly moved back around the table to show Lei Yu. “Like yours, baba! We can be pretty together!”

The fish and flower hairpins were cute, Lei Yu had to give them that, though her words were a bit like being punched. She meant, of course, the hairpins Madam Shu had given him to wear. Once or twice, he’d been in such a hurry to be with his daughter, he hadn’t taken them out beforehand, and of course the little lady-to-be was enthralled by all the gold and glimmering pieces. 

His smile was a bit thin, but smoothly he took out one of the peony hairpins and pinned up her braids, which she practically glowed about. “Yes, we can,” he agreed easily enough, knowing it was innocent on her part. That made the shame a bit easier to drop, this time. “So lovely. What do you say, little fish?”

“Thank you,  _ nainai!”  _ Lei Xiulan chirped obediently, her core bubbling in her utter joy. “I loves them!”

“If you like them then perhaps you’ll like these.” Zhao Dandan motioned for the one lady dressed similar to her but younger approaching having been sitting with a large box in her arms. “Thank you.”

Lei Xiulan hardly seemed to know what to do with herself. “More?” she asked, almost confused, but excited all the same. Lei Yu felt that shame in him again, that she could be so surprised to get this many gifts, and his hold on Zhao Haoran tightened just a little for comfort. “I can have this?”

“It’s yours,” he murmured, smiling sadly in encouragement. It was all she needed, bright and happy as she opened the box. She squealed in glee and danced in a circle, then reached in for the embroidered robes inside.

“Clothes! And look babas! Fishes! And beans! And chicks!” With each revelation she jumped in the air, spinning in place in her joy. “Thank you, thank you,  _ nainai!” _

Zhao Haoran was stunned silent and all red faced at the mention of being called  _ baba _ instead of just Ran _ -shu _ . He blinked as he squeezed the others hand gently reminding him that this has to be overwhelming for Lei Yu and Lei Xiulan in different ways. Then he lifted the man’s hand and kissed it reverently. Hoping the other knew that he was trying to comfort him. There needn’t be any shame felt. Zhao Haoran understood that the man did what was best for him and his daughter. 

“You’re welcome  _ sunnu _ . I hope you enjoy them.” Zhao Danadan chuckled with a big smile on her face. “Those are for playing. So if they get messy it’s alright.” 

“Yessss!” The news only made her all the more gleeful. “I can play in the garden with these!” 

“You can. I’m sure Mister Wu will be happy to have his little mouse help him,” Lei Yu agreed, able to breathe a bit more with the hold Zhao Haoran had on him. “And you and Miss Pretty can play… with the puppy.”

Lei Xiulan stilled, eyes huge. “A puppy?” Then she remembered and bounced all over again. “A puppy! I get to have a puppy!”

“Yes, you see, I have one and he’s come to live with us. Is that okay?” Zhao Haoran asked, letting one of his dumbo rat wraiths out to go lead the dog. “His name is Kuai.” 

“And he is the lupine version of your Ran-shu.” Zhao Dandan tacked on making the man turn even redder.

“Kuai,” Lei Xiulan echoed in awe, then turned her head at the chime of the dog’s collar. She bounced. “A baby!”

The doors opened as the  _ qi _ from the dumbo rat’s energy letting Kuai in. Immediately the chongqing focused in on Zhao Haoran. He was about to plop right on him when he spotted Lei Xiulan and barked. It wasn’t a loud threatening one, but one of  _ Hello? _

“Puppy!” Lei Xiulan giggled and held out her hand at Lei Yu’s gentle coaxing. She was unafraid of the dog, not even his bark. “Come, come, Kuai! Good boy!”

Kuai’s ears shot up at the coaxing and didn’t need much because he was immediately going around the table to come over to be petted. He licked and nuzzled her fingers. His butt wiggled hard at being given all the attention as she started to try to pet him between the licks to her hand. 

“He likes kisses and knows tricks too.” Zhao Haoran grinned.

“When A-Ran got him, he said that he’d never have him for a hunting dog.” Zhao Dandan laughed, softly watching them. 

“That’s good. He’s got a little girl to play with, no hunting required, though I’m sure Miss Tseng would appreciate him poking into the grainery every once in a while to scare out the mice. We don’t need poor Sun He doing all the work,” Lei Yu chuckled and petted the dog when his voice got its attention. He let Kuai sniff him, then smiled as the dog immediately went back to his daughter. “You may have just lost your dog,” he warned Zhao Haoran, just as Lei Xiulan looked his way.

“Baba-Ran _ ,  _ can I go play with the puppy?” she asked, huge eyed, and laughed brightly as Kuai licked her under the chin. “Outside, please?”

“Of course, sweetness, you can go play with your puppy.” Zhao Haoran responded to her first then smiled at Lei Yu. “That’s fine, it makes  _ our _ daughter happy.” He couldn’t hide the happiness from being called baba off his face or tone. His heart beat proudly in gratitude for what he was being called.

“What do you say, little fish?” Lei Yu said, his own heart full and aching. She was quick to hurry and hug Zhao Dandan, then Zhao Haoran with Kuai right on her heels.

“Thank you!” she said and ended with Lei Yu, hugging him a little tighter than the rest, as though she knew he needed the comfort. He smiled as she kissed his cheek. “Love you, baba,” she whispered, which wasn’t much of a whisper, then, with a gleeful shriek, she took off for the door and the gardens beyond, Kuai charging after her.

There was a bit of silence after that and Lei Yu couldn’t help but chuckle. “I did say the puppy would steal the show,” he said and lifted his teacup with a slightly shaking hand. He wasn’t even sure why. “Thank you, Madam Zhao, for being so kind to her. She’s never going to forget this.”

“You’re welcome, Lei Yu. If she does then I have the memories and I am grateful for them. THank you for allowing me to see her and be in your family’s life. I know that change isn’t easy when we’ve had the social ranking and mistreatment thrust upon us.” Zhao Dandan said, warmly, then reached to pour them some more tea. “And besides, children are meant to have the most fun with their pets.”

Lei Yu nodded at that, a soft blush on his cheeks. “We are family,” he said to her, then to Zhao Haoran. “I’ve done my best to make sure she knows family is happiness and love. I’m honored you both want to share in that, and I’m glad I can give her more people who love her.”

“And we are more than happy and  _ grateful _ that you’d want us to help you share it. Know that if you need anything I will be there for you and for my  _ sunnu _ . Oh, it looks like I forgot the letters. Perhaps some hiding is in order. Is she allowed to help put up things?” Zhao Dandan asked, looking at the boxes. 

“She is,” Lei Yu nodded. “What did you have in mind?”

“A hunt of sorts.” Zhao Dandan giggled, then unwrapped the letters, She stuck one in each one of the three dress folds. So when she went to put them up then she would find the letters one by one to read.

“Ahh,” Lei Yu chuckled, seeing the game. “She’ll love that. I usually tell her stories to help her sleep, but lately she’s been wanting me to read your letters, so I know she’ll be excited. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome and she is able to write me back as much as she can or draw? I love drawings.” Zhao Dandan grinned at Zhao Haoran. 

“She kept mine from my childhood and has books of them bound.” Zhao Haoran shared, accidentally picking up Lei Yu’s cup to drink from before realizing his mistake and sitting it back down. He moved to fill the cup once more. “Are you going to stay for dinner, mama?”

“No, not this time. I need to get back. I am meeting a Master Peng about one of the new horses I am getting from Lotus Pier.” Zhao Dandan answered, “but I shall come again.”

“I hope so,” Lei Yu said, finding he really enjoyed the woman’s company. Even better, she was kind to his daughter, and that’s what mattered most. “A-Xiu loves to draw, so expect some drawings making their way to you with the letters I’m working on,” he said softly, a shy blush on his cheeks.

“Oh, I look forward to them all.” Zhao Dandan chuckled, taking a sip of her tea. The rest of the time passed easily enough till it was time for Zhao Hoaran to go to work and for Lei Xiulan to go to her studies. 


	11. Chapter 11

It was strange to think how much his life could change in a month. He went from a glorified sex slave to a husband to be, respectable, honored, and  _ free.  _

Lei Yu had found himself growing fonder and fonder of Zhao Haoran as the days passed, and had even allowed himself to imagine something a lot like love blooming after their wedding. It was still too soon for that for him, but he still had some desires: to be held, and cared for, and… yes, loved back.

But the weeks after Madam Zhao had visited had taken an odd turn. His once diligent betrothed had seemed suddenly too busy for him, backed off, and distant. He’d even started taking the other room instead of staying the night with Lei Yu, and it was at odd hours of the night. The closer to the wedding date, the worse it appeared, and Lei Yu felt his insides gripped in utter terror that somehow, impossibly, the cycle of abuse and neglect was starting all over again.

The only consolation was that, in the time he did find, Lei Xiulan had a firm place. More than once, he caught them playing and talking, but then Zhao Haoran would be called elsewhere, just when Lei Yu approached, and his heart further encased itself in ice. He hadn’t imagined Zhao Haoran would get cold feet, given this had been his idea in the first place, but it seemed he was wrong about that, and wrong about a lot of things.

By the actual wedding, he felt like he was in a hazy dreamscape. He was more than grateful for the veil hiding him away, though it only made him feel like a possession all over again. Because weddings meant wedding  _ nights.  _ What if all that puppylike hesitance had been just an act too? Was he about to bed yet another Madam Shu?

Would Zhao Haoran even  _ want  _ to touch him?

He knew his silence was starting to get to the other, but he couldn’t help it. The door was shut behind them and it was just the two of them in the bedroom, surrounded by red banners and hanging silks all playfully leading to the bed littered with rose petals. Lei Yu could feel his hands shake and hid them in his sleeves, not sure what was coming next.

“Husband,” he said in his best voice, but it was shaking too and he swallowed, wishing he wasn’t so afraid. “I…”

“Yes?” Zhao Haoran blinked, then moved closer to get a stray flower petal that’d been tossed in the air at them. He hadn’t missed how upset that Lei Yu was today. Which had him concerned. Had he found out that she was gone? That couldn’t be it because he would have been happy? Had he done something?

All he could think of is that he’d been working on getting rid of Madam Shu’s trace in the house, the business, and making sure her charges stuck. The setback in renovations had been a blessing. That had given him time to focus on getting the rest of the evidence against the woman. He’d discovered that she’d been stealing and some of her business actions had been successful after the deaths of the Meishan Yu staff and others being killed in the house fire. 

But he’d tried to be as attentive as possible and also not spill that he’d taken care of the woman by handing her over to the Meishan Yu sect. He’d wanted it to be the wedding present to their  _ family _ . 

“Are you alright?” Zhao Haoran said, stepping in close. Now, wondering if the wedding night was too much. His husband had been a victim of sexual abuse and he wouldn’t pressure him for anything in the world. “You’re shaking. We don’t have to do anything tonight. We have our whole life to do that. We can just cuddle and enjoy the sweets.” 

Lei Yu hardly heard him, taking in a pained breath. So, Zhao Haoran  _ didn’t  _ want to touch him. He wasn’t sure if that was better or not. “Is there nothing about me you desire, then?” he asked, bitter, because of course. Of  _ course.  _ He was just a used toy, after all. He turned away, desperate for a little dignity, but still he shook in place, even with his back turned. “I’m surprised you even married me, Master Zhao, since you’ve been avoiding me these last couple weeks. Dodging me when I approach, retiring to another bed at odd times of the night. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? I didn’t realize I disgusted you so much. I should have realized it sooner before actually  _ desiring  _ you to touch me. Forgive me?” 

His voice was sharp, cold, and bitter, and he was glad he could at least weaponize that. Still, he stumbled on shaking legs as he walked towards the dressing divider to get the damned veil off. Not that he got far. He flinched as his wrist was taken and stopped, hating that, even now, all he wanted was that warm touch. What a pathetic person he was.

Zhao Haoran knew he’d made a mistake now. He shouldn’t have worked so hard and said nothing. In doing that he’d done the one thing he asked the other to not do. He shut Lei Yu out. So of course the man thought he didn’t desire him. He’d have punched himself or let one of his friends do it. But now wasn’t the time to think about himself but his husband. Yes, his husband. So, he reached out for the man’s wrist to pull him back. Zhao Haoran had kept the well of desire curved back because he didn’t want to overwhelm the other man. Lei Yu deserved to be taken care of and loved, passionately.

“Disgusted? I have  **_never_ ** been disgusted by you. Yes, I’ve been worried, saddened, or angry  _ for _ you.” Zhao Haoran answered, honestly as pulled himself closer rather than yank the man to him. His heart skipped a beat at how stunning Lei Yu was with the vermillion veil upon his head. When the man had walked towards him wearing it during their ceremony, he’d thought time had stood still. He let the desire he’d held back all day and part of the evening spread across his face. “As to my desire for you. I desire  _ all _ of you  _ all _ of the time. I restrain myself because I don’t want to hurt you but that was my own stupidity. I should have been more open because my desire hasn’t faded, it’s grown. I just...like a moment ago don’t want to hurt you or force you to do something you’re not ready for.”

He swallowed, then continued, “As for dodging you, that was never my intention. I’ve been getting message wraiths from that black cuff you’ve seen me wearing about my gift to our  _ family _ . Something else I shouldn’t have kept from you or not come to our bed at night. I’d just been working so hard and you looked so lovely, sleeping I didn’t want to disturb you or like the eager pup I am ruin the surprise but I understand now that you needed my surprise as it was happening. “

His confession was logical, very much so, and Lei Yu softened just a little to it. Still, it hurt, even if he understood Zhao Haoran’s side of things. The man was kind and thought too much, and he was well intentioned, but an idiot. Somewhat. Lei Yu closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath, letting the words be a balm. He wanted to be angry, but the true regret and fear on Zhao Haoran’s face told him it wasn’t necessary. His dear husband -  _ his husband -  _ was still here, still the same, and beating himself up more than Lei Yu ever could.

“What surprise?” he murmured, not quite ready to fold into his arms, though that deep want in the man’s eyes had him shivering for a new reason. “And what did I say about assuming things? Wake me, always. I’d rather welcome you to bed then wonder why you’re gone. And I’ve wanted to know your body and your most intimate self for weeks now. I’ve been waiting for  _ you  _ to be ready. I will not rush you.”

Well didn’t those words just make him feel like an idiot. Though his mind went a bit dazed as the man softened and though Lei Yu probably didn’t realize it but was using that tone he’d developed when talking to him. It made him feel like he was doing the right thing. So he tried to hold onto it for as long as possible. “I’ve been ready since you fell into my arms helping me organize my study.” Zhao Haoran confessed, remembered that smile and the truly unabashed laugh Lei Yu had let out. His heart skipped a beat just remembering the moment. He licked his lips, focusing now on the early question.  _ What surprise? _

“Do you remember the night that A-Xiu had her nightmare and you told me about the fire?” Zhao Haoran asked, fingers loosening it’s tight hold on Lei Yu. A habit from talking with his hands. 

Of everything Zhao Haoran said, that was actually the easiest thread to track. As the rest of his words slowly soaked in, his mind sharpened on what the man could be alluding to and felt his heart jump.

“You did it, didn’t you?” he breathed out, shocked, because it made the most sense. All the time away and hard work, the whispering amongst the servants he’d caught… of course Madam Shu was the only thing truly important enough for Zhao Haoran to focus on as he had. 

His hand moved in Zhao Haoran’s grip to be the one holding on, and it was a fierce hold. “She’s gone, isn't she? You took her away like you promised.”

“Yes, I did. I wasn’t looking for it but noticed something about the books of business at the pier and the  _ fires _ . She’d caused the fire in some of Mieshan Yu sects places and was stealing. The next logical reason was to turn her in. She’s been gone since the rehearsal.” Zhao Haoaran answered, hoping it gave his husband the peace he desired and needed. “I turned her into the Meishan Yu sect and the magistrate. That’s why I was so late for rehearsal. I couldn’t let Lei Xiulan see that from the gardens.” 

“I thought…”  _ Thought you didn’t want me, that you’d gotten cold feet.  _ Lei Yu sighed and shook his head. That was past and didn’t matter. After all, Zhao Haoran had married him, and on  _ time.  _ He knew the news would hit differently in the morning, but for now he hardly cared. She was  _ gone _ , that was that, and there was something far more important to ask.

He reached up and cupped Zhao Haoran’s face, staring intently down into his eyes. “She’s gone,” he said, with finality, and tilted the man’s face up with trembling hands. “But are  _ you _ still here, with me? Do I still have you, Zhao Haoran?”

“ _ Yes _ , I am still here with you and you have every part of me in this life and the next just like I swore to you not even four hours ago.” Zhao Haoran answered, reaching up to pull the veil from his head. The silk passing Lei Yu’s face like a wave was ethereal and made a shiver of want go down his spine. He let the veil drop from his hand as he peered up at him.

The tears were quick, as was the joyous laugh. “Gods, we’re idiots,” Lei Yu said before pulling him in or a wet, bruising kiss. “Husband,” he whispered against his mouth, smiling too wide for it to land quite right, but uncaring. “My husband.”

“My husband.” Zhao Haoran parroted back between another kiss that was equally as messy. Not that Zhao Haoran cared in the slightest either. He wrapped an arm around Lei Yu’s waist, pulling him flush against him though in hindsight probably wasn't the smartest. His brain decided it was also the perfect moment to take a step, taking Lei Yu with him, back near the plush chaise he’d had the pleasure of having himself kissed stupid on. He stumbled for a moment. 

Lei Yu managed to catch him. Weeks of eating better and rest had done wonders for his strength, and he pulled the man to him with little trouble. He chuckled at Zhao Haoran’s red face and kissed him slowly, lightly nipping at his lips to part them. “As much as I like that chaise, I think we both deserve the bed,” he murmured, his fingers splaying on the man’s lower back. “Do you think you can make it, or shall I carry you, for once?”

It’d been a simple tease and a good one. Zhao Hoaran’s eyes darkened as he kissed the man first. “I want you to carry me this time.” He answered, grinning also mischievously. He’d had his own gift beneath his sleeves. Zhao Haoran had been care to let the tied silk that Lei Yu had picked out for him stay hidden through the ceremony and the reception.

Lei Yu hoped Zhao Haoran knew what an honor that really was, to carry his husband even this far. And he’d do it whenever Zhao Haoran needed him to, for the rest of his life. He lifted the man into his arms, a smile on his face, and kissed that sweet, blushing cheek. “With pleasure, husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for following along this ride! 
> 
> Follow us on twitter at [ThisSolarisLife](https://twitter.com/thissolarislife) & [Christian_Richtown](https://twitter.com/christi64860214).

**Author's Note:**

> Follow us on twitter at [ThisSolarisLife](https://twitter.com/thissolarislife) & [Christian_Richtown](https://twitter.com/christi64860214).


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